Finding your fiance has a boyfriend???

[Finding MEMO]

Hmmm hmmm 25 years

Only advice I can give is don't look at time in this duniya.

Alhumdulilah you don't know what Allah swt was saving you from or who he was saving you for?

Tawakkal-tu-’ala-Allah

 

[Scimitar]

kal ho na ho

Scimi

 

[cinnamonrolls1]

Im not gonna air the story here for all to see - but I don't wanna establish anymore proof than I have already because I feel sick even thinking about it.

its over - that's all there is to it

except I'm done trying to find a wife now, I just don't wanna experience this anymore

Scimi

Personally, i'd say just part ways, break of the engagement, Inshallah you will find someone. Don't give up! Maybe try online muslim "dating" sites to find someone?

 

[cinnamonrolls1]

Dont worry, Inshallah you will find someone, there is a LOT of muslim women in the world, You will eventually find a pious wife.
May Allah swt help you!

 

[muslim brother]

i know someone who was told on his wedding night by his wife of less than 12 hours that she didnt want to marry him

and she told him she had a boyfriend

i also know someone who would visit his newborn child and wife in hospital ,to be told there is another man visiting too
the other man was the father..

at my age 50 ,i need a camp fire
for my stories

life teaches you more than books ever will

 

[cinnamonrolls1]

i know someone who was told on his wedding night by his wife of less than 12 hours that she didnt want to marry him

and she told him she had a boyfriend

i also know someone who would visit his newborn child and wife in hospital ,to be told there is another man visiting too
the other man was the father..

at my age 50 ,i need a camp fire
for my stories

life teaches you more than books ever will

woah, that must have been hecka difficult

 

[Serinity]

It is sad to see the Ummah taking girl/boyfriends.. What happened to marriage???

Allahu alam.

 

[cinnamonrolls1]

It is sad to see the Ummah taking girl/boyfriends.. What happened to marriage???

Allahu alam.

ikr, if a man is actually serious about you he'l marry you. Same with women

 

[Bobbyflay23]

Im not gonna air the story here for all to see - but I don't wanna establish anymore proof than I have already because I feel sick even thinking about it.

its over - that's all there is to it

except I'm done trying to find a wife now, I just don't wanna experience this anymore

Scimi

Uhh I was listening to Ali dawah and he's got some website I think it's called pure matrimony it's not like the other marriage websites it's strictly for religious people and stuff so you can try that

 

[Bobbyflay23]

Asalamcalaykum my dear brother

You are going through extreme pain at this moment and things seem gloomy and dull.Someone you trusted and wanted to spend the rest of life apparently has a boyfriend "such what a deception" . You know every day as a grow up I am reminded to never trust human beings ,they will always break your heart.Don't give your heart out to human beings for we are weak fragile beings who are clueless .With your eyes you must your are alone in this world , You only have Allah . Even your family will leave you one day , your friends and spouses.

I can’t fathom the extreme pain you are going through.It also seems that this has happened to you before . You can cry akhi, get depressed ,punch a wall or even get revenge .Its all human instinct but once you calm down and think logically you will understand that this is a test from Allah.
Allah in one second can give you the most, righteous , beautiful and obedient woman to have ever existed.
You mentioned that it happened to you few times , why?Now you can assume its a pusnishement from Allah or you can assume that you are not worthy .But what i think is , that Allah is testing you with something that will bring you closer to Him.Wallahi with every hardship comes ease . Everytime i am tested if i remain patient and complain to Allah i get an immediate response of relief .

It's all about having a certain perspective of life . Life is a test and everything is a test for you, including the individuals you interect with . You will be tested , and it will hurt.
You will be tired and worn from the of storm..so pull yourself from the sea and Ask Allah to bring you safely on the dry land.

Deal with the pain of by getting closer to Allah and surround yourself with the believers and your friends. Dont let shaytan deceive and convince to isolate yourself. Akhi whenever you go through a test you should remind your self that the trial could have been worse (she could have been your wife ), the trial is in this world and not the hereafter and that the test is with the dunya and it is not corncering your eman (you could have been tested with your belief and what is more evil than becoming a kaffir.)
,
[h=2]“And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient,” 2:55[/h][h=2]“Who, when disaster strikes them, say, "Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return." 2:56[/h][h=2]“Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided.”2:57[/h][h=2]The best[/h]How can you deal with your pain ?
Whenever you come across a test , try to say alhamdullilah for your test could have been worse. Secondly remain patient and wait for the ease that your lord will eventually bring you. Futhermore surround yourself with teh believers so they can remind you to be patient.

Whenever i advice people i always tell them not to give up >?Why do you have self defeated though process ? Are yuo denying the mercy of your lord ? Are you giving up on what Allah can guive you ? My one advice would be don’t give on searching for the woman of your dreams because eventually we are blessed with something which we are truly happy with. As for this woman she will get what she deserves. But as a muslim the right response would be for you to make dua for her that Allah guides her to the straight path. If my faince had a gf i would be in a lot of paqin but i woul make dua for him at the end (i think Allah knows best)



May Allah make it easy for you , remember Allah the Alimighty is aware of your pain and you will inshaAllah get an immense reward in this world and the hereafter. J

Yea and I'd like to add that the trial could just be there because god wants you to be greatful when you get married for finding someone because maybe you wouldn't have been greatful for example my cuzin was able to find someone to get married to when I think he was 19 years old might've been older but he's 24 right now so that's pretty early so yea it's not about you think ready for a spouse it's if allah thinks your ready for a spouse because that's when allah will guide you to her

 

[Bobbyflay23]

Mhmm

 

[cinnamonrolls1]

salam brother, I'm aware this thread has not been active in a while, but im just wondering, how's everything going? Inshallah you will meet someone amazing soon if not already

 

[RisingLight]

It has come to a point we need to use Veritaserum on the spouse before signing that contract :facepalm:

 

[Kawlah]

Salaam ale3koem bro,

I am so sad this happened to you, she conned more people including me as you know.

Makes me very upset now I know the full story. All I can say is that I am making dua for you and hope that I can be your friend so that at least I can show you that not all women are like her.

 

[M.I.A.]

What would you do?

I dont know where you are in your life..

If you have good relationships.. family and friends..

Then ask through them to set you up.

But i have to say, that i spent about 7 years away from home.. at university

And most of the girls.. if not all..

Had guy friends to varying degrees.

Even the head of the university islamic society got married to a girl he knew..at uni or from a nearby uni.. cant remember o_0

Which is nice.

It is the state of the world..

But it is a small world.

I had a mate at uni who was the best at socialising.

He came to my city and i went to meet him..

Turns out he was with a few girls from my city..

..That i knew..

Lol im a shopkeep (since forever).. dont get it twisted.

I didnt hang around because im rubbish with girls.. and everyone has a brother here.

Although he doesnt need to worry because hes over 6 foot 16 stone.. the last time i knew.

Anyway i digress..

Maybe you should fall for someone who doesnt love you..

I think my inlaws rejected my parents proposal at least 3 times..

Which is hilarious.

There are very few things in this world that can be found untainted.

Allah swt have mercy upon us.
..
..
...yeah i would have broke it off.

Although i still tell her sometimes they would be better off without me.

It only gets harder.. for some.

They are perfect though.

If only the world would keep its hands off them.

 

[Scimitar]

Uhh I was listening to Ali dawah and he's got some website I think it's called pure matrimony it's not like the other marriage websites it's strictly for religious people and stuff so you can try that

I've got Ali Dawah on my phone number list - lol and I see him almost every sunday as well. He's a nice brother ma sh'Allah. He once drowve to my house to drop off a memory card which he'd borrowed from me. The look on my neighbours face was priceless

- - - Updated - - -

Salaam ale3koem bro,

I am so sad this happened to you,

Don't be, i'm not and besides, this was over a year ago now.

she conned more people including me as you know.

Allahu alam.

Makes me very upset now I know the full story. All I can say is that I am making dua for you and hope that I can be your friend so that at least I can show you that not all women are like her.

I'm pretty certain all women are different... I am also certain that I am cut out for a different path. Maybe marriage is not the option for me anymore, i'm certainly not banking on it lol. Maybe being an inviter to Islam full time is my path. So many times i'm told, "leave your cameras at home" or "get infront of the camera" because dawah is natural to me, and I have a way with people - i can disarm their premise one to one in real life, "wonderfully", apparently! Now imagine, if I was married - would my wife let me do the dawah work I do now? I doubt it.

By the way, i've put on more weight due to excessive eating and training, but this was me when I was two stones lighter and giving dawah at speakers corner lol:

so... do you fine people think I should focus on giving dawah and give up on finding a wife? (i won't do both - dawah is a full time effort)

- - - Updated - - -

I dont know where you are in your life..

If you have good relationships.. family and friends..

Then ask through them to set you up.

Tried, many times... and gave up. lol

But i have to say, that i spent about 7 years away from home.. at university

And most of the girls.. if not all..

Had guy friends to varying degrees.

Even the head of the university islamic society got married to a girl he knew..at uni or from a nearby uni.. cant remember o_0

Which is nice.

It is the state of the world..

But it is a small world.

I had a mate at uni who was the best at socialising.

He came to my city and i went to meet him..

Turns out he was with a few girls from my city..

..That i knew..

Lol im a shopkeep (since forever).. dont get it twisted.

I didnt hang around because im rubbish with girls.. and everyone has a brother here.

Although he doesnt need to worry because hes over 6 foot 16 stone.. the last time i knew.

Anyway i digress..

Maybe you should fall for someone who doesnt love you..

I think my inlaws rejected my parents proposal at least 3 times..

Which is hilarious.

There are very few things in this world that can be found untainted.

Allah swt have mercy upon us.
..
..
...yeah i would have broke it off.

Although i still tell her sometimes they would be better off without me.

It only gets harder.. for some.

They are perfect though.

If only the world would keep its hands off them.

interesting story, lol, for once I followed one of your posts

 

[M.I.A.]

..yeah im worried too..

I honestly didnt get the joke at the end of the video.


Good luck anyway.

..everybody deserves some rant space.

 

[Cptn._.Mario]

Woah akhi! I was reading the 2nd page and everyone were trying to console you. Here at the 3rd page you're in cloud nine~! Hahaha!
May Allah swt bless you and your future/present wife with all goodnees in this dunya and the akhiraah!

Edit: after reading the 4th page I realise this thread was about a year ago. You should really stop making me go through this emotional rollercoaster bro! I demand compensation! :-[

 

[Kawlah]

I'm pretty certain all women are different... I am also certain that I am cut out for a different path. Maybe marriage is not the option for me anymore, i'm certainly not banking on it lol. Maybe being an inviter to Islam full time is my path. So many times i'm told, "leave your cameras at home" or "get infront of the camera" because dawah is natural to me, and I have a way with people - i can disarm their premise one to one in real life, "wonderfully", apparently! Now imagine, if I was married - would my wife let me do the dawah work I do now? I doubt it.

Good to hear bro that you at least realize that not all women are like that, you sound healthy and stable now.

We can never know what Allah has decreed

But I understand your position, I don't think I am cut out for marriage either considering all the problems I have. Wouldn't know what benefits I could offer a husband, if I would marry it would certainly only be as a second wife or something like that because I know I can never fulfill his rights over me a 100% alone because of my illness.

I think what you are doing now is of great benefit to us all, may Allah reward you for your efforts. Who knows one day you might find a woman who is just as passionate about Da'wah as you are, and maybe you will not. Only Allah knows, but I understand your decision to not actively look for a mate completely and wish you the best of luck in your endeavors regardless.

 

[M.I.A.]

Good to hear bro that you at least realize that not all women are like that, you sound healthy and stable now.

We can never know what Allah has decreed

But I understand your position, I don't think I am cut out for marriage either considering all the problems I have. Wouldn't know what benefits I could offer a husband, if I would marry it would certainly only be as a second wife or something like that because I know I can never fulfill his rights over me a 100% alone because of my illness.

I think what you are doing now is of great benefit to us all, may Allah reward you for your efforts. Who knows one day you might find a woman who is just as passionate about Da'wah as you are, and maybe you will not. Only Allah knows, but I understand your decision to not actively look for a mate completely and wish you the best of luck in your endeavors regardless.

..i hate to be intrusive but you should find ways to occupy your time.. if you are not doing so already.

Find ways to change your perspective of yourself.

Get a job is the first thing that comes to mind.. Although im often wrong.

Sorry..