Frustrations in getting married

:sl:

Musicals suck. Bollywood or otherwise.

Come on, either talk or sing, but don't switch back and forth. That's annoying. And your face is weird when you switch from talking to singing.

Oh, and just kiss already.

That is all.
 
King of Nines said:
Come on, either talk or sing, but don't switch back and forth. That's annoying. And your face is weird when you switch from talking to singing.
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Disney movies are the exception. (namely those that came out in the 90's) :p:
 
King of Nines said:
I think that's one reason that you see a lot more people waiting later in life to get married. They have this expectation that they have to be "in love" with someone before they marry them.
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Love is the spirit of marriage itself. Without love, marriage would not 'live'. But many people don't understand process of falling in love.

There is no "love in the first sight", this is not love, just 'feel attracted'. Love will comes only after someone look into character of person who he/she likes.

Physical attraction really help to makes someone comes to us, but this is not the factor that makes someone loves us. Someone will loves us only if she/he likes our character and personality.

Unattractive people also can be loved as long as he/she has nice character and personality. However, when people talk about love, usually they are referring to movies which the actors and actresses are good looking. It's make people assume, love and be loved is a privilege that only for good looking people.

Muraad said:
Nothing wrong with falling in love before you get married...not necessary, but its all good if it happens that way.
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Nothing wrong with falling in love before get married. However, if this love story not lead to marriage, maybe it would becomes a problem in the future.

Basically, marriage can be started without husband and wife love each other. However, they must try to accept their partner sincerely and build a togetherness. And soon or later, love will comes between them.
 
:sl:

"Love" is really just a series of chemical reactions that occur when we are around someone we are attracted to. That's why we feel all goofy around women we like, because of the chemical reactions.
 
King of Nines said:
"Love" is really just a series of chemical reactions that occur when we are around someone we are attracted to. That's why we feel all goofy around women we like, because of the chemical reactions.
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You know, just because you've given up on finding someone doesn't mean you should cheapen it for those who haven't.
 
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:sl:

Exactly. It's all science.

And I never said I have given up. I have said that I am getting used to the fact that I may be single for the rest of my life, but I still hold out a slim hope that I may yet meet a woman I can settle down with.
 
Marry someone is different than buy a cloth. If we want to buy a cloth, just going to the shop, choose a dress that we like, pay, and this cloth now belong to us. Because the clothes can not reject us

We maybe want to marry someone that we like, but does this someone want to marry us too?. This is the most important thing in getting a life-partner that is not recognized by most people.

So, we need to compromise. Trying to accept the advantages and disadvantages of a person who can accept us as her life-partner, even though this person may not be our ideal type.

To be honest, beauty was one criterion in my criteria of a wife. But I did not put beauty on the top. My first criterion was "can accept me", the second was "character, personality and behavior", the third was "beauty".

Why?. Okay, I tell you. When I was young I gathered with some friends. Then a beautiful woman passed near us. One of my friend said "wow, I want to marry a woman like her", but another friend laughed and told him "yeah, you want to have a wife like her, but does she want to have a husband like you?".

That's made me realize. I must put "can accept me" on the top of my criteria, because I realize I could not expect someone who could not accept me.

I put "character, personality and behavior" on the second because I am a human who need another human as my partner in life. I wanted someone who could love me, treat me well, always care on me, could accept my advantage and disadvantage, and made me feel comfortable. I would never get what I expect from a beautiful woman who has bad character, personality and behavior.

And I put "beauty" on the third, because, ...... you must be understand why.

So, brothers, you don't need to chase someone and persuade her to accept you. Better to make yourself acceptable without you need to chase after her.

Okay, I know, not every brother here is lucky like me who had many 'choices' in the past. But there is a way to find a woman who can accept you. Ask your friend or your relative to find a woman, let him/her 'promote' you to this woman. If that woman give sign "Okay" to your matchmaker, it's means she can accept you. The rest are easier. Of course, if you have bad character, personality and behavior, you will be rejected.

And like I have said, try to compromise, try to accept her advantages and disadvantages, and look at her beauty only after you feel comfortable with her character, personality, and behavior.

I hope this can reduce the number of cases "rejected simply because the photos"

:D
 
subhanallah nice thread...

pressureeeee themm until they cant take it no more :Evil: ;D (i can't find the smiley with one sparkling teeth huhu)

anyone can enlighten me...talking about falling in love. i heard that you are not suppose to target to get marry on one specific lady for too long..meaning to get married to someone you love but taking too long to get married. it will lead to something else?
 
King of Nines said:
:sl:

Exactly. It's all science.

And I never said I have given up. I have said that I am getting used to the fact that I may be single for the rest of my life, but I still hold out a slim hope that I may yet meet a woman I can settle down with.
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huh science? Facts are science? lol
 
^^^ chemical reactions akhi...when theres no reaction nothing happened lol
 
syilla said:
anyone can enlighten me...talking about falling in love. i heard that you are not suppose to target to get marry on one specific lady for too long..meaning to get married to someone you love but taking too long to get married. it will lead to something else?
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Or will lead to someone else. I mean will lead to marry someone else.

Sometimes this happens. Usually because the woman had wanted to get married while the men looked relaxed and too enjoy his life. The woman eventually will doubt the seriousness of the man. And finally she decide to marry another man which has been ready for marriage.
 
Al-Mufarridun said:
:sl:

I heard a funny story from a friend the other day. There was a brother that had some close friends who were married, while he was single. They were very close friends, so after sometime the Brother finally got married. About a week later, people saw him chasing his friends with a stick. Someone stopped him and asked; 'hold on, aren't these your dear friends?' He replied, "NO!! they are my enemies! They call themselves my friends, Why did they hide from me the Joys of marriage and allowed me to remain single for that long!" :D

May Allah(swt) make it easy for us what is Halal and Protect us from the Haraam! Ameen!
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ha, Mashallah :)
 
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Yep. That's right. I have returned.

I have realized some things over the last few months. I'm broken, and I need to be fixed. I have to become OK with who I am before I can even think of having a relationship with anyone. I also have realized that I can't do this on my own. I tried. It didn't work. For too long I have been the Angry White Guy, as you guys know, and that's not who I want to be anymore. It's a new year, and a new start. So, I'm reinventing myself.

I want to fix myself. I want to become OK with who I am, and who I am supposed to be. I have to do this before I can be with anyone else. I realize that now.
 
Who Am I? said:
I have realized some things over the last few months. I'm broken, and I need to be fixed. I have to become OK with who I am before I can even think of having a relationship with anyone. I also have realized that I can't do this on my own. I tried. It didn't work. For too long I have been the Angry White Guy, as you guys know, and that's not who I want to be anymore. It's a new year, and a new start. So, I'm reinventing myself.

I want to fix myself. I want to become OK with who I am, and who I am supposed to be. I have to do this before I can be with anyone else. I realize that now.
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Honestly, when I read your posts I often felt like read posts from Mr.Lonely. It seem like you have a feeling want to love and be loved. But you are doubt to get married.

My brother, do not force yourself to get married if you do not want to get married. You still can love and be loved, and you still can have your own family. In different form, of course.

Do you know? there are many kids that left by their parents. So, why don't you become their parent?. You don't need to adopt them, just love them and treat them like your kids.

Maybe you can visit an orphanage near your home, and work voluntary there. And if you have enough money, you can give your money for them. If you can love them, they will love you too, and they would become your family.
:)
 
ardianto said:
Honestly, when I read your posts I often felt like read posts from Mr.Lonely. It seem like you have a feeling want to love and be loved. But you are doubt to get married.

My brother, do not force yourself to get married if you do not want to get married. You still can love and be loved, and you still can have your own family. In different form, of course.

Do you know? there are many kids that left by their parents. So, why don't you become their parent?. You don't need to adopt them, just love them and treat them like your kids.

Maybe you can visit an orphanage near your home, and work voluntary there. And if you have enough money, you can give your money for them. If you can love them, they will love you too, and they would become your family.
:)
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Well, I do get lonely sometimes, that is true. But so does everyone, I think. We all have the desire to be loved and to share our life with someone. This is natural.

But I have recently learned that love of self is most important, after love of God. If you don't love yourself, you will never be happy. This is what I must do. I must learn to love myself. Then the rest will fall into place.
 

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