Frustrations in getting married

But they are simple people with simple minds, and it saved them from frustration in getting married.
Different than "middle class high educated" people in my place.

When their sons tell "I want to get married", the parents reply "Do you want to feed someone else daughter with stones?. Have a good career and big income if you want to get married..!!".

When the son show the girl who he found to his parents, the mother criticize that girl until the small things. When the daughter introduce the guy who she found, the mother and the father review that guy, and they always able to find the bad side of him.

When the son want simple wedding, the parents angry "Don't you know how many relatives, friends, colleagues we have ??!!". The parents spread invitation cards to their relatives, friends and colleagues, as much as they can. While their kids invite their friends with "will you attend to my wedding? but sorry, there's no invitation card for you".

:D
 
^^ did goin thru dat website make you realise that? ^o)

:sl:

Well, sort of. Mostly it was the fact that everyone was in my face telling me that I must get married, but I realized that I had to fix some things about myself first. So that is what I wanted to do. I didn't think it was right or fair to be in contact with sisters when I already knew that I was not ready for marriage. So my profile was deleted.
 
Well, sort of. Mostly it was the fact that everyone was in my face telling me that I must get married, but I realized that I had to fix some things about myself first. So that is what I wanted to do. I didn't think it was right or fair to be in contact with sisters when I already knew that I was not ready for marriage. So my profile was deleted.

self improvement is important... at least thats what I think and am aiming for it currently! May Allah help us all


wasalaamualaikum!
 
self improvement is important... at least thats what I think and am aiming for it currently! May Allah help us all


wasalaamualaikum!

It all starts with self-improvement. You have to be happy with who you are, and the way to do that is to learn to do and say the right things.

That's my take on it, anyway.
 
It all starts with self-improvement. You have to be happy with who you are, and the way to do that is to learn to do and say the right things.

That's my take on it, anyway.

I take that as an advice. Thankyou!

Most masjid's here provide marriage services. I would think all masjid's are gender segregated.

Masjids provide marriage services? heard ti for the first time! in my place this concept is alein. you might perform the nikkah in a masjid (if that's what you mean) but do masjid services help you find some one? ^o)


wasalaam!
 
Most masjid's here provide marriage services. I would think all masjid's are gender segregated.

Well, there are degrees of segregation. Some only segregate the prayer space and let all other facilities be used by everyone.
 
Most masjid's here provide marriage services. I would think all masjid's are gender segregated.
If you come to a masjid in my place and tell the masjid caretaker that you are looking for a wife, they will look at you with wonder face "but bro, this is masjid, not matrimonial bureau".

However, if you active in masjid and in Islamic activities, and you have good reputation, InshaAllah, mister Ustadz or senior brother will tell you "Salahudeen, have you thinking to get married? ..... there is a girl who is salihah, kind, modest, ....blah, ..blah, ..blah .. Let me introduce her to you, okay?"
 
Masjids provide marriage services? heard ti for the first time! in my place this concept is alein. you might perform the nikkah in a masjid (if that's what you mean) but do masjid services help you find some one? ^o)


wasalaam!

Yes you walk into the masjid and tell them you want to get married, they charge you a fee like £10 to add your profile to the masjid database, then he shows you the database of all the people that are looking, he shows you their profiles, age, occupation, ethnicity etc if you like the sound of someone you tell him and he arranges a meeting.

I think every masjid should have a marriage service to meet the needs of the people in the congregation. I mean the masjid runs of the congregations donations so it should be providing them with services.
 
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Yes you walk into the masjid and tell them you want to get married, they charge you a fee like £10 to add your profile to the masjid database, then he shows you the database of all the people that are looking, he shows you their profiles, age, occupation, ethnicity etc if you like the sound of someone you tell him and he arranges a meeting.

I think every masjid should have a marriage service to meet the needs of the people in the congregation. I mean the masjid runs of the congregations donations so it should be providing them with services.

:sl:

Well, that does make sense. You can't just tell someone to get married and then not help them do it. That's like telling your kid not to play ball in the house, but then there's no yard outside.
 
:sl:

Well, that does make sense. You can't just tell someone to get married and then not help them do it. That's like telling your kid not to play ball in the house, but then there's no yard outside.
:sl:

The more accurate analogy is, parent telling the kid to get friend in the park. But, arrive in the park, the kid so confused and doesn't know what he must do because the parents and older people around him never taught him how to get friend in the park. Situation would be better if the kid has learned much about it and has seen the process to get friend in the park. And the best is, parent or experienced person accompany him.

Frankly, from what I have noticed, mostly of people who went to matrimonial sites have lack of knowledge about marriage and relationship. It made them made many mistakes, and later failed to get a spouse.

So, my advice to those who want to get a spouse in matrimonial sites. Learn much about marriage and relationship before you go to matrimonial sites. And do not hesitate to ask advice and guidance from experienced people. Let them accompany you in the process to find someone, since the beginning until you get married.
 
I just wanted to say that, all these frustrations must not get in the way to getting married.
 
Yes you walk into the masjid and tell them you want to get married, they charge you a fee like £10 to add your profile to the masjid database, then he shows you the database of all the people that are looking, he shows you their profiles, age, occupation, ethnicity etc if you like the sound of someone you tell him and he arranges a meeting.

I think every masjid should have a marriage service to meet the needs of the people in the congregation. I mean the masjid runs of the congregations donations so it should be providing them with services.

In our area I think the Masjids help in a different way. We can ask people we know in the Masjid and then they usually ask around because they get a mixture of people coming in. Its like the database thing but based more on connections. And I dont think there is a charge here. Other bigger Masjids might charge though, Im not too sure.
 
:sl:

Don't forget too, that sometimes whoever the local community might think is a "good match" for you may not always be. Sometimes you just have to take matters into your own hands...
 
am so bored, South Asian Muslim weddings, *FACEPALM*



Anyone remember niknak from the james Bond movie? man with the golden gun? He's in the wedding, featured at59 seconds to 1min 01 seconds LOOOL, I replayed tht threee times. Uncanny.

Anyway... frustrations in getting married. Don't I know it (facepalm) 36 now. getting the white hairs and the thinning hairline too... at least my beard is thick and plentiful, even if it does have whites on the chin piece.

Scimi
 
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I have white hairs now too... a few on my chest and I found one on the side of my head the other day.

I figure my hair will start greying out when I am in my 40's, like my father's did... but he still has all of his hair.

And people said I would be bald before I was 30 because of my freakishly high hairline.
 
Also do the following 10 to help you find a marriage partner: 1. Pray 2 rakat salaatul Hajaat: The hadith regarding it: Abullah ibn Abi Awfa (Allah be pleased with him) relates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Whoever has a need with Allah, or with any human being, then let them perform ritual ablutions well and then pray two rakats. After that, let them praise Allah and send blessings on the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace). After this, let them say, لا إِلَهَ إِلا اللَّهُ الْحَلِيمُ الْكَرِيمُ سُبْحَانَ اللَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَرْشِ الْعَظِيمِ الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِين أَسْأَلُكَ مُوجِبَاتِ رَحْمَتِكَ وَعَزَائِمَ مَغْفِرَتِكَ وَالْغَنِيمَةَ مِنْ كُلِّ بِرٍّ وَالسَّلامَةَ مِنْ كُلّإِثْمٍ لا تَدَعْ لِي ذَنْبًا إِلا غَفَرْتَهُ وَلا هَمًّا إِلا فَرَّجْتَهُ وَلا حَاجَةً هِيَ لَكَ رِضًا إِلا قَضَيْتَهَا يَا أَرْحَمَ الرَّاحِمِينَ There there no god but Allah the Clement and Wise. There is no god but Allah the High and Mighty. Glory be to Allah, Lord of the Tremendous Throne. All praise is to Allah, Lord of the worlds. I ask you (O Allah) everything that leads to your mercy, and your tremendous forgiveness, enrichment in all good, and freedom from all sin. Do not leave a sin of mine (O Allah), except that you forgive it, nor any concern except that you create for it an opening, nor any need in which there is your good pleasure except that you fulfill it, O Most Merciful!” [Related by Tirmidhi and Ibn Maja) Here is the dua after praying 2 rakat salaatul hajaat: http://www.central-mosque.com/Dua/11...0of need.htm
2. Give as much Sadaqa as possible for the pleasure of Allah
3. Make much strong dua to Allah particularly in the latter portuion of the night after praying Tahajjud prayer. Cry to Allah if you can for Allah tends the slave who cries and weeps faster than a mother tends its baby.
4. Leave major sins for this gets in the way of duas being accepted.
5. Thank Allah as much as possible for how happy would Allah be with his slave who is thankful to him even though they may be going through difficult trials.
6. Make dua as much as possible in the following situations where dua is more likely to be accepted:
- After every fardh salaat and before going to bed, and after making wudhu(after the wudhu dua), while raining, while azzan is in progress(time when the muezzin pauses during the azaan), after azaan, between azaan and iqmah, when the cock crows, in a religious gathering, while travelling to masjid or on the way to meet a sick person etc
There is also an hour on Jumma where duas are definatley accepted so do as much dua as possible during Jumma.
7. Do plenty of durood before and after dua.
8. Recite the following: Rabbi innee limaa anzalta ilayya min khayrin faqeer
9. Recite abundantly everyday
[My lord, I am in absolute need of the good You send me] Source: http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.a...D=1908&CATE=10
10. a) Be in the state of Tahaarah (Wudhu)
b) Praise and glorify Allah
c) Have faith that Allah Ta'ala is All-Hearing and your Du'aas will be
accepted.
d)Read plenty of durood shareef (Read the Duroode-Ibrahimi, which we read in Salaah)

jazakAllah for sharing will start doing these my mums gonna be happy :P omg shes sooo worried plus my grandma's worried too they keep telling me to recite surah yaseen.i guess i'll hav to start praying :embarrass . i wish they would stop worrying n relax a bit.

duno y i don't feel its right to recite quran just because you want something...
 
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