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Thread: Haraam to marry if you dont take wife to malls/cinema
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anonymous

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Is it fard for the man to take wife for a night out to even if he hates them. Is the haraam to keep your wife only at home all the time because of homesickness and miserliness to spend money on malls/jewellery ? Did the Prophet ( Salallaahu alaihi wa sallam ) take his wife to the local bazaars during his lifetime
 
:sl:


Mothers of the beleivers pbut and wives of the companions were not stay idle at home and to my knowledge there was no bar on them that they can't go outside . They visited their parents , they taught others about Islam , they went to mosque etc .

Women are encouraged to stay at res but it does not mean they can't go out if they want . Unnecessary spending is not allowed . U may take ur hijabi wife to market with u and allow her to buy necessary items for her and the household.

And Allah Knows Best.
 
Does window shopping and jewellery classify as "necessary items for her and household" and not doing that amount to misery.Also is it haraam to marry if you dont take her out to cinemas to watch movies but will watch them by ordering and downloading it home .
 
I will start with a question.

Have you married?
 
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no, but i am being denied marriage , because of my reluctance to the above mentioned reasons
 
:sl:

Brother please think carefully before marrying someone who refuses to marry you on the basis of the fact that you are reluctant to go to the movies and shopping malls with her.

Look for a God fearing woman who wants nothing more than to do her utmost to please Allah and work tirelessy for the Hereafter. Surely this is a sign for you to review your criterea of a life partner.
 
I don't think you're being denied marriage because of the above reasons. To me the topic is superficial all together.
I dislike very much malls and certain areas where the demographics doesn't suit me. They rouse in me a feeling of suffocation & trigger panic attacks so I avoid them, but if someone came and proposed to me and told me he doesn't want to take me window shopping or to the mall I'd show him the door, I find no joy in window shopping or malls and his dislike for something that I dislike would be otherwise a welcome thing but gauging his character is ultimately the decider. I don't find much character in a guy whose query of haram and halal when it comes to marriage is so low and restricted to cinema and malls or that he doesn't know the answer to such basic things as his role as a husband or what it means to compromise be dutiful and the basic understanding of a religion.
You're being judged on many things.. it comes down to sour grapes I guess, I hope you'll reflect on your choices and approach.
I am not being harsh, I am just laying it down for what it appears to the naked eye.

:w:
 
Look for a God fearing woman who wants nothing more than to do her utmost to please Allah and work tirelessy for the Hereafter. Surely this is a sign for you to review your criterea of a life partner.
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The women are god fearing -pray salaah 5 times ,fast etc but expect to be taken for a weekend outing to malls and cinema and consider as husband's responsibility .a number of divorces are happening because of husband failing to take them for outing to malls and cinema . I dont think hermit women exist who isolate themselves exist. If they do let me know where i can find them
 
A wife need clothes, shoes, also want to have handbag, accesories, etc. And it's the husband responsibility to buy what the wife need or want.

Don't worry, a good wife will never demand anything beyond the husband ability. And if you have a good wife like this you would be happy and proud if you could pay what your wife buy.

Actually women who can be a good wife are much enough, you just don't know it.
 
anonymous said:
The women are god fearing -pray salaah 5 times ,fast etc but expect to be taken for a weekend outing to malls and cinema and consider as husband's responsibility .a number of divorces are happening because of husband failing to take them for outing to malls and cinema . I dont think hermit women exist who isolate themselves exist. If they do let me know where i can find them
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Who says women should be like "hermits" and not be taken out from time to time. They must also be taken out in order for the husband to buy her things she needs. Brother what is it that you want froma wife?
 
Hamza Asadullah said:
Who says women should be like "hermits" and not be taken out from time to time. They must also be taken out in order for the husband to buy her things she needs. Brother what is it that you want froma wife?
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I think he is influenced by people who rant "women love luxury! if you can't fulfill what your wife demand, she will ask divorce!"
 
Who says women should be like "hermits" and not be taken out from time to time. They must also be taken out in order for the husband to buy her things she needs. Brother what is it that you want froma wife?
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I think you either didnt understand the subject or you probably dont know what you're talking about. This isnt about buying the monthly groceries, basic necessities or buying the occasonal gifts for Eid, anniversary,birthdays etc . This is about taking them out to malls for window shopping on all weekends regardless of whether there is something to be bought or not and also to cinemas whenever there is a new movie which they want to see ,when the same can be done at home .a sister above mentions something along the lines that the man needs to compromise in his husband role in order be dutiful twife.I am not willing to compromise to the extent of doing the above acts in my role as a husband and the same will not please any potential marriage partner thus making the marriage haraam for me. Hope this helps .
 
anonymous said:
I think you either didnt understand the subject or you probably dont know what you're talking about. This isnt about buying the monthly groceries, basic necessities or buying the occasonal gifts for Eid, anniversary,birthdays etc . This is about taking them out to malls for window shopping on all weekends regardless of whether there is something to be bought or not and also to cinemas whenever there is a new movie which they want to see ,when the same can be done at home .a sister above mentions something along the lines that the man needs to compromise in his husband role in order be dutiful twife.I am not willing to compromise to the extent of doing the above acts in my role as a husband and the same will not please any potential marriage partner thus making the marriage haraam for me. Hope this helps .
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Then simply say no to marrying her and look for a more like minded pious and practising sister who has no interest in such things. Problem solved
 
^^ And thats where the problem lies .My Parents who are responsible for arranging the marriage for me have painted all sisters on this earth with the same brush (all window shoppers/movie watchers ) and say that they are no likeminded sisters and thus dont want me to marry and ruin a girl's life . So,I need to prove to them that all are not window shoppers/movie watchers in order to be considered as "eligible" for marriage
 
anonymous said:
^^ And thats where the problem lies .My Parents who are responsible for arranging the marriage for me have painted all sisters on this earth with the same brush (all window shoppers/movie watchers ) and say that they are no likeminded sisters and thus dont want me to marry and ruin a girl's life . So,I need to prove to them that all are not window shoppers/movie watchers in order to be considered as "eligible" for marriage
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Exactly, just tell them to not generalise as everyone is different and other parents who are also looking for marriage for their daughters can easily include you as a male in their own generalisations such as "All men are the same" but it is not fair to paint everyone with the same brush and do you should tell them not to judge others but let Allah judge as he is the only one who has the authority to do so.

Tell them to have trust and hope in Allah and to keep looking and also ask local Masjids, close friends, relatives and family to also let you know of any good practising pious girls and keep making sincere Dua and have hope and trust and leave the rest to Allah.

Effort + Dua + patience + trust and hope in Allah = Success in every aspect of life.
 
anonymous said:
^^ And thats where the problem lies .My Parents who are responsible for arranging the marriage for me have painted all sisters on this earth with the same brush (all window shoppers/movie watchers ) and say that they are no likeminded sisters and thus dont want me to marry and ruin a girl's life . So,I need to prove to them that all are not window shoppers/movie watchers in order to be considered as "eligible" for marriage
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lol what a trial, may Allaah assist you.

tell your parents to keep looking and inshAllaah a suitable candidate will arrive.

lol bro, forgive me but your situation should be taken with light humour I believe, your parents may have had very bad experience with worldly women/young girls so far. They need to broaden their horizons and look towards the more hijaab/niqaab oriented families for you.
 
Excuse me, bro. I begin to thinking that you are type of man who like to spend your time alone in your room, and you lock yourself in your room too long. It makes you don't know anything about reality in the real world.

I've ever married for almost 19 years until my wife passed away two weeks ago. And my marriage went well. It's because I've learned much about marriage life before I got married. I observed marriage life of older people around me. It made me knew how is marriage life and what I should do in marriage.

My relationship with my wife was well. it's because I have many experiences in friendship, with males!. Of course, there are differences between man and man friendship and husband wife relationship. But there is one similarity, the human and human relationship. In friendship with my male friends I learned how to respect, appreciate, and understand each other. It's very useful in my marriage life.

So, bro, go out from your room, get friends, and start learn about life in the real world.
 
You are under no obligation to appease the vanity of your wife. You are obliged to provide her the same standard of living that you have, but that's it.
 
I begin to thinking that you are type of man who like to spend your time alone in your room, and you lock yourself in your room too long.
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Exactly . You hit the nail on the head . I am that type of man and the question is whether this character of mine would put me on the same level as a poor begger and exempt me from marriage .
 
anonymous said:
Exactly . You hit the nail on the head . I am that type of man and the question is whether this character of mine would put me on the same level as a poor begger and exempt me from marriage .
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Now I understand why your parents told you like that.

Every wife want her house become her palace, not her jail. There are times when the wives want to go out although not always to mall. And they want to go out with their husbands and children. I think this what your parent want to say.

I don't say you are not deserve to get married, but it's very hard to find a woman who want to marry you if you always stay at home and she cannot go anywhere too.