Having more than one wife in Islam..

[Regrets1]

Asalamu Alaikum:


Yes I know Islam allows men to have more than one wife but what are the rules and conditions?? Let's say he's getting everything from first wife she is completing all his needs but he wants to marry someone else just coz of his desires his high sex drive is it permissible to marry again just because of that reason?? First wives emotions and sacrifices are not considered?

 

[Kiro]

Asalamu Alaikum:


Yes I know Islam allows men to have more than one wife but what are the rules and conditions?? Let's say he's getting everything from first wife she is completing all his needs but he wants to marry someone else just coz of his desires his high sex drive is it permissible to marry again just because of that reason?? First wives emotions and sacrifices are not considered?

wswrb

it is, it is better to be chaste then not to be chaste

Allah knows best

 

[EgyptPrincess]

Asalamu Alaikum:


Yes I know Islam allows men to have more than one wife but what are the rules and conditions?? Let's say he's getting everything from first wife she is completing all his needs but he wants to marry someone else just coz of his desires his high sex drive is it permissible to marry again just because of that reason?? First wives emotions and sacrifices are not considered?

Never would I allow my future husband to even look at another women let alone marry one. It's just extremely selfish for a man to have more than one wife when you provide him with everything he needs.

 

[Regrets1]

wswrb

it is, it is better to be chaste then not to be chaste

Allah knows best

No woman would wanna share her husband..so can she ask for divorce if her husband having second wife is torturing her?? The woman has to and does think of everyone so is not mans responsibility to make sure his wife And children are happy?? Coz 2nd marriage does effect the whole family including kids so is it important that he completes his needs with first wife and lower his gaze outside? In this case I'm saying he gets everything from first wife but he's been looking at other women which makes him want to get intimate with them

 

[Regrets1]

Never would I allow my future husband to even look at another women let alone marry one. It's just extremely selfish for a man to have more than one wife when you provide him with everything he needs.

Exactly. A man cannot even have someone look at his wife but he can go having more than one wife. It was different in prophets (pbuh) time and I respect that I'm not against it or anything coz in some cases it should be allowed BUT if it's just for his desires then it is just a selfish act why would he run after someone else when his wife is doing everything to please him

 

[Serinity]

your difficulty in accepting polygamy lies in your weakness or lack of clarity or wisdom to see. Polygamy requires great Imaan, and sacrifice.

So don't blame polygamy, as Allah SWT allowed it.

Don't talk without knowledge, lest you say wrong.

May Allah SWT forgive us for whatever we say of wrong. Ameen.

And Allah SWT knows best.

 

[EgyptPrincess]

Exactly. A man cannot even have someone look at his wife but he can go having more than one wife. It was different in prophets (pbuh) time and I respect that I'm not against it or anything coz in some cases it should be allowed BUT if it's just for his desires then it is just a selfish act why would he run after someone else when his wife is doing everything to please him

Because he is selfish, he is not willing to compromise even a little of his sexual desires. Tell him straight that if he seeks another women you'll divorce him. I'd personally give him an ultimatum, me or a different wife. If he leaves you then clearly he didn't love you as much as he proclaimed and if he does choose you then he will just have to accept only having one wife. It is also extremely unhygienic to have multiple sex partners, ugh makes my skin crawl thinking about it.

 

[Serinity]

Because he is selfish, he is not willing to compromise even a little of his sexual desires. Tell him straight that if he seeks another women you'll divorce him. I'd personally give him an ultimatum, me or a different wife. If he leaves you then clearly he didn't love you as much as he proclaimed and if he does choose you then he will just have to accept only having one wife. It is also extremely unhygienic to have multiple sex partners, ugh makes my skin crawl thinking about it.

Watch your mouth. Polygamy is permissible in Islam.

And it is your own preconcieved thoughts that make you think like this. The Prophet Muhammad SAW practiced polygamy, so did the sahabahs, r.a. They were great men.

And Allah SWT knows best.

 

[noraina]

Just saying....polygamy threads have a colourful (and tragic) history on Islamic forums.

Perhaps we should make a polygamy sticky, and write down all the rulings and conditions and terms of polygamy?

 

[Regrets1]

Because he is selfish, he is not willing to compromise even a little of his sexual desires. Tell him straight that if he seeks another women you'll divorce him. I'd personally give him an ultimatum, me or a different wife. If he leaves you then clearly he didn't love you as much as he proclaimed and if he does choose you then he will just have to accept only having one wife. It is also extremely unhygienic to have multiple sex partners, ugh makes my skin crawl thinking about it.

I am not married sis, asking on behalf of someone. Answer she gets is "Islam allows it" there are many other things Islam allows why don't men follow them?? (Not saying they don't some do MashAllah) but most focus on this topic. in this day and age there are so many diseases what if catches it off and passes it to his wife??
I know someone who did love marriage they were happily married then the husband married someone else coz he "fell in love with her" so they can go falling in love with anyone and everyone? He takes them both out together says he treats them both same whenever one is pregnant he gets the other one pregnant too, is that what "treating them equally means" that you make them both pregnant?? And guess what he doesn't work he's on benefits!!

 

[Serinity]

I know women can have it hard with polygamy, but that does not justify your condemnation of polygamy.

 

[Regrets1]

Brothers and sisters as Iv said b4 I know Islam allows it..but what are the rules and conditions? It's ok for him to let his wife suffer? Just coz he can't lower his gaze outside? She's completing all his needs I mean everything he says she doesn't lack anything but he wants to get intimate with someone else??

 

[EgyptPrincess]

He takes them both out together says he treats them both same whenever one is pregnant he gets the other one pregnant too, is that what "treating them equally means" that you make them both pregnant?? And guess what he doesn't work he's on benefits!!

Not sure if troll or not ^o)

Regardless, there is no doubt it's allowed, but question is whether your "friend" wants to be with someone who acts on polygamy? Not every Muslim man exercises this, some just have one wife and give her 100% of his love and care :statisfie Others are selfish and want to "spread the love" and it can be extremely hard to accept for the other wives. Impossible to accept in fact.

It would be impossible for me to accept my man with another women, I'd kill him... (figuratively)

 

[Regrets1]

Okay let's put it this way..for the mans "happiness" the wife should accept him getting married again? Right?? So he's happy...why can't men do same and stay happy with one woman? But no they rather get married and do whatever while the first wife goes in depression! I love the prophet pbuh and sahabas & teachings, but no man can be like them right? So why don't they focus on other things and become better Muslims, why do they talk about Islam and prophet when it come to marrying again?? I guess people just take advantage..

 

[Regrets1]

Not sure if troll or not ^o)

Regardless, there is no doubt it's allowed, but question is whether your "friend" wants to be with someone who acts on polygamy? Not every Muslim man exercises this, some just have one wife and give her 100% of his love and care :statisfie Others are selfish and want to "spread the love" and it can be extremely hard to accept for the other wives. Impossible to accept in fact.

It would be impossible for me to accept my man with another women, I'd kill him... (figuratively)

lol wallahi not a troll. He obviously doesn't keep them under one roof but that's the truth he's got two wives took them both on holiday together also. Well she has told him not to get married again but he's trying to convince her

 

[Kiro]

No woman would wanna share her husband..so can she ask for divorce if her husband having second wife is torturing her?? The woman has to and does think of everyone so is not mans responsibility to make sure his wife And children are happy?? Coz 2nd marriage does effect the whole family including kids so is it important that he completes his needs with first wife and lower his gaze outside? In this case I'm saying he gets everything from first wife but he's been looking at other women which makes him want to get intimate with them

Men and women are different so what they want is different and men seem to loove women generally speaking

anyway, the husband has to do a very good job at treating his wives equally so for example if one goes on holiday then he has to take the other on holiday
you could always ask him to take things that temporary reduce his sex drive

Exactly. A man cannot even have someone look at his wife but he can go having more than one wife. It was different in prophets (pbuh) time and I respect that I'm not against it or anything coz in some cases it should be allowed BUT if it's just for his desires then it is just a selfish act why would he run after someone else when his wife is doing everything to please him

 

[ardianto]

I never committed polygamy during my married life because I knew that my wife would not happy if I commit polygamy, and I didn't want to make her unhappy.

Unfortunately not every man is like me. There are men who still commit polygamy although they know it would hurt their wives heart.

 

[Serinity]

Not sure if troll or not ^o)

Regardless, there is no doubt it's allowed, but question is whether your "friend" wants to be with someone who acts on polygamy? Not every Muslim man exercises this, some just have one wife and give her 100% of his love and care :statisfie Others are selfish and want to "spread the love" and it can be extremely hard to accept for the other wives. Impossible to accept in fact.

It would be impossible for me to accept my man with another women, I'd kill him... (figuratively)

That is your preconcieved thought.

To you, prob, any man who practices polygamy is selfish. Which is not true.

 

[Regrets1]

I never committed polygamy during my married life because I knew that my wife would not happy if I commit polygamy, and I didn't want to make her unhappy.

Unfortunately not every man is like me. There are men who still commit polygamy although they know it would hurt their wives heart.

SubhanAllah. There should be more men with such thinking.

 

[Serinity]

Look, don't make it sound like those who practice polygamy are bad people, they are not. By that you'd say the Prophet SAW, etc. are, audhu billah, bad. May Allah SWT protect us.

So no, those who practice it are NOT bad, polygamy is a sunnah.