Having more than one wife in Islam..

[Kiro]

SubhanAllah. There should be more men with such thinking.

although there are women who gladly accept polygamy as they see it as a beautiful sunnah

 

[sister herb]

At the time of the prophet, polygamy was one way to secure the life and livelihood of widows. How many times at the nowadays men whose are thinking to marry with another women than only one are actually doing same: marry poor widows, whose might be older than they are and maybe have already many children? Or are they only looking for young women whose haven´t been married before?

 

[EgyptPrincess]

That is your preconcieved thought.

To you, prob, any man who practices polygamy is selfish. Which is not true.

Absolutely not. If you're married and your wife is not paying you enough attention or spending enough time with you or whatever then I guess it's not a bad thing if the husband seeks an additional wife to fill in the gaps that the first wife doesn't. However if your first wife is going to be heartbroken and the thought of it makes her physically sick then you should try to understand her side and both work together to iron out the marriage.

If the wife is totally happy and the husband is totally happy there is no need for a third wheel...

Imagine you have a car, it works perfectly and drives perfectly, you're allowed to buy and own a second car, but would you? This is being greedy...

If however you own a sports car which is great for long distance driving but not for country roads, then you may seek to buy a second car.

My point being is that one should only seek an additional wife if the first wife isn't fulfilling her part of the marriage sufficiently

 

[ardianto]

The only one that can prevent a husband to commit polygamy is himself. If he think it's better for him if he has only one wife, he would not commit polygamy although he has opportunity. But if he intend to commit polygamy, even if his wife and all people around him forbid him, he still would seek opportunity to commit polygamy.

So, the only way that the wife can do to prevent her husband commit polygamy is trying to make him thinking that it's better if he has only one wife. It can be easy, it can be difficult, depend on the husband's view on marriage.

 

[Regrets1]

Look, don't make it sound like those who practice polygamy are bad people, they are not. By that you'd say the Prophet SAW, etc. are, audhu billah, bad. May Allah SWT protect us.

So no, those who practice it are NOT bad, polygamy is a sunnah.

never said they are bad people. And once again id say we can never be like the prophet pbuh and the sahabas we can try our best and follow them and we should. But as I said I want to know the rules and conditions? May Allah forgive me for saying this but did the prophet pbuh married anyone for desires?? As far as I know..no he didn't

 

[Regrets1]

At the time of the prophet, polygamy was one way to secure the life and livelihood of widows. How many times at the nowadays men whose are thinking to marry with another women than only one are actually doing same: marry poor widows, whose might be older than they are and maybe have already many children? Or are they only looking for young women whose haven´t been married before?

Thats what I am saying sis no one can match the prophet pbuh. Iv not really heard about a man marrying a widow or someone poor to provide shelter and security. Most if not all are doing it for desires, they want a young virgin or if she's not a virgin they go for her look whether it's the face or body and that's what makes me cringe.

 

[Serinity]

Absolutely not. If you're married and your wife is not paying you enough attention or spending enough time with you or whatever then I guess it's not a bad thing if the husband seeks an additional wife to fill in the gaps that the first wife doesn't. However if your first wife is going to be heartbroken and the thought of it makes her physically sick then you should try to understand her side and both work together to iron out the marriage.

If the wife is totally happy and the husband is totally happy there is no need for a third wheel...

Imagine you have a car, it works perfectly and drives perfectly, you're allowed to buy and own a second car, but would you? This is being greedy...

If however you own a sports car which is great for long distance driving but not for country roads, then you may seek to buy a second car.

My point being is that one should only seek an additional wife if the first wife isn't fulfilling her part of the marriage sufficiently

Polygamy, if used correctly, can be a source of great good and blessings for the Ummah.

And in a society with illegal sexual intercourse on the rise, and vulnerable women exploited, etc. polygamy will, In shaa' Allah, erase this.

If one is completely satisified with one's wife and seeks another, doesn't necessarily mean he is after his desires. Rather, even if he is satisified, if the intention is for the sake of Allah and to protect the Ummah, who are we to stop people from polygamy?

 

[Regrets1]

The only one that can prevent a husband to commit polygamy is himself. If he think it's better for him if he has only one wife, he would not commit polygamy although he has opportunity. But if he intend to commit polygamy, even if his wife and all people around him forbid him, he still would seek opportunity to commit polygamy.

So, the only way that the wife can do to prevent her husband commit polygamy is trying to make him thinking that it's better if he has only one wife. It can be easy, it can be difficult, depend on the husband's view on marriage.

True, but he should think for himself that how his words and actions effect his wife shouldn't he?? How it will effect his children? Knowing he's everything to his wife and she cannot share him why would he take such step?? I'd understand if he didn't have children but they have them and wealth also so what's the of another woman?
SubhanAllah I knew a couple they didn't have kids but the man didn't marry again even though the wife was agreeing but never took that step he said they are enough for each other.

 

[EgyptPrincess]

And in a society with illegal sexual intercourse on the rise, and vulnerable women exploited, etc.

yeh yeh I see what you did there... not funny. Very immature.

 

[Serinity]

never said they are bad people. And once again id say we can never be like the prophet pbuh and the sahabas we can try our best and follow them and we should. But as I said I want to know the rules and conditions? May Allah forgive me for saying this but did the prophet pbuh married anyone for desires?? As far as I know..no he didn't

I don't think he SAW did, Allahu alam.

https://islamqa.info/en/14022 - read this. The conditions and rules of polygamy, In shaa' Allah.

 

[Regrets1]

Polygamy, if used correctly, can be a source of great good and blessings for the Ummah.

And in a society with illegal sexual intercourse on the rise, and vulnerable women exploited, etc. polygamy will, In shaa' Allah, erase this.

If one is completely satisified with one's wife and seeks another, doesn't necessarily mean he is after his desires. Rather, even if he is satisified, if the intention is for the sake of Allah and to protect the Ummah, who are we to stop people from polygamy?

No one is stoping it. As we are all different some people get effected more than others. Here we are talking about one individual who is after some pretty "face" or body only should he get married to her and hurt his wife and break the family?? Should he not consider anythin at all but go ahead and fulfill his desires?? And if he does go ahead and get married again even though everything was perfectly fine with his first marriage can the first wife ask for divorce as she she take it??

 

[Serinity]

yeh yeh I see what you did there... not funny. Very immature.

What? Polygamy can protect all this, if filthy men hunt after women and rape them, wouldn't it be better for a honourable pious Muslim man to marry such women to protect them?

 

[EgyptPrincess]

What? Polygamy can protect all this, if filthy men hunt after women and rape them, wouldn't it be better for a honourable pious Muslim man to marry such women to protect them?

Believe me hun, some men are weak compared to other men. There is no guarantee whatsoever that a man can protect himself... one punch and he can be KO'ed.

and sorry I thought you were sliding that comment in on purpose because of what I did... Nevermind.

 

[Regrets1]

What? Polygamy can protect all this, if filthy men hunt after women and rape them, wouldn't it be better for a honourable pious Muslim man to marry such women to protect them?

There are nice and pious men who would get married again for sake of Allah and fulfill sunnah. They'd marry a widow or someone poor..and there are many pious brothers who even if they can afford it they wouldn't even think of getting married again because they care and love the first wife they think about her emotions and feelings they think about their children and how to would effect them. Most people who have got more than one wife are the ones who can't lower their gaze it's just only for desires and not to complete the sunnah

 

[Serinity]

No one is stoping it. As we are all different some people get effected more than others. Here we are talking about one individual who is after some pretty "face" or body only should he get married to her and hurt his wife and break the family?? Should he not consider anythin at all but go ahead and fulfill his desires?? And if he does go ahead and get married again even though everything was perfectly fine with his first marriage can the first wife ask for divorce as she she take it??

Read this: https://islamqa.info/en/14022

And Allah SWT knows best.

 

[sister herb]

What? Polygamy can protect all this, if filthy men hunt after women and rape them, wouldn't it be better for a honourable pious Muslim man to marry such women to protect them?

It would to be real honourable act to marry the rape victim. But in many societies people don´t understand that woman is a victim of the heinious crime (when she become raped), not quilty for this.

Personally I don´t think that polygamy itself can reduce rape crimes. Men whose haven´t enough incomes, can´t marry at least one woman but, if they have criminal mind, can rape and get sexual desire from it. Actually, some men may rape, even if they would have 4 wives.

 

[Serinity]

Believe me hun, some men are weak compared to other men. There is no guarantee whatsoever that a man can protect himself... one punch and he can be KO'ed.

and sorry I thought you were sliding that comment in on purpose because of what I did... Nevermind.

I'd much rather, if I could, marry 2-4 sisters to protect them from rape, etc.

One can kill the person in order to protect one's honour, afaik.

 

[sister herb]

Thats what I am saying sis no one can match the prophet pbuh. Iv not really heard about a man marrying a widow or someone poor to provide shelter and security. Most if not all are doing it for desires, they want a young virgin or if she's not a virgin they go for her look whether it's the face or body and that's what makes me cringe.

So basicly, here are two kind of men: those whose want to marry (with one or more) because it´s sunnah (but unfortunately many of them don´t count widows - although it should be better to them) and those whose want to marry to fulfill their sexual desire (or dreams). We can´t never judge all men as people are different and their intentions are different too.

 

[Regrets1]

It would to be real honourable act to marry the rape victim. But in many societies people don´t understand that woman is a victim of the heinious crime (when she become raped), not quilty for this.

Personally I don´t think that polygamy itself can reduce rape crimes. Men whose haven´t enough incomes, can´t marry at least one woman but, if they have criminal mind, can rape and get sexual desire from it. Actually, some men may rape, even if they would have 4 wives.

Well said sis. Agree with u 100%. No one goes marrying a rape victim they look down on them or if they don't look down on them still won't marry one. People should follow the sunnah and follow it right by marrying a widow or poor to provide for them but sadly that's not what we get to see then Islam is judged based on what these people do and people get wrong image of it.

 

[ardianto]

What? Polygamy can protect all this, if filthy men hunt after women and rape them, wouldn't it be better for a honourable pious Muslim man to marry such women to protect them?

There are many pious men who still unmarried because they still can't get wives. So, rather than those women marry the men who already have wives, it's better if they marry those unmarried men.