Having more than one wife in Islam..

[Bhabha]

Guys there is a huge difference between equality and between difference.

In Islam men and women are equal in terms of their right to learn, to be educated, to earn, to raise children, etc.

We are physically different and thus we are each afforded different positions so that we can both as the husband and wife can balance that difference.

No one is inferior and no one is superior. But understanding out inherent differences in terms of our physical attributes and our emotional dispositions allows us to understand why things are the way they are.

We are equal but different. To those who say women and men are not equal in Islam, that is a misguide because you inherently do not know the WESTERN construction of the word and as such it's complete polar opposite, which is unequal and it is riddled in the inferior and superior binaries.

Difference should be used because is allows for variety as opposed for homogeneity. Muslims are not homogenous, we are all different and Allah created male AND female for us to know one another, not for us to be dominated by one another. But to learn and support each other.

 

[Serinity]

I am all for polygamy, provided there is justice, etc.

One should not see his wife as a slave, but as a companion - a best friend.

 

[abumuslim82]

May Allah guide you. He alone knows your intentions..

"Hudhaifa RA narrates: My tongue was sharp on my family; i used to rebuke them. I said to Rasulullah saw: i fear that my tongue will take me to hell. Rasulullah saw said: Then where has repentance gone? (why do you not tender repentance, so that your tongue may be reformed?). I repent to my Rabb (Sustainer) a hundred times a day (Musnad Ahmad)

"Umme Habiba RA, wife of Nabi saw narrates that Nabi saw said: The speech of the Son of Adam is a burden upon him (a reason to be held accountable for) except Enjoining Good,Prohibiting Evil, or remembering Allah"


Thank you for praying for us may Allah accept your dua and may he guide us all. Ameen.

Sharp tongue against the kuffaar that are mocking Islam is virteous

 

[Serinity]

Talk about double standards! Disagree all you like. It's ok for a man to marry someone he likes and wants to complete his needs and desires with her but if a woman likes someone and wants to make it halal with him people disagree wow her "desires and satisfaction" doesn't matter?? Yes people should love the one they are married to but as we are talking about men can marry whoever they want for their desires then I'm sure a woman can marry another so he completes her needs

I can't pin point exactly, but please take back those words. I fear they are kufr. It is in Allah SWT's infinite wisdom that He SWT allowed polygamy for men, and not for women.

 

[Freedom]

Hearing and reading the opinions of women, including Muslim women, I can safely say that a very good number have a mindset that is focused on equality. This is not a shock, because this mindset is prevalent in the modern world, especially in the west. Women are not ashamed to say that they will take more than 1 husband if the husband takes more than 1 wife. Nowadays women have power - they can choose to have a career and work to earn money, and most do. No verses from Qur'an, or narrations, will cause women to change their mindset. Advocating for multiple wives is a lost cause. It's one of those things that we Muslims should give up on. It's in the category of discontinued because no one wants to accept it, just like slavery.

 

[ardianto]

Polygamy has existed since the civilization began, long time before the era of Islam. So, polygamy is not the product of Islam, but product of civilization that permissible in Islam. What the product of Islam is limitation that a man can have maximum four wives. Rasulullah and sahaba commited polygamy, and their enemies, the mushrikeen, commited polygamy too. Because polygamy was very common in their culture.

Since polygamy is not the product of Islam, then status of polygamy is mubah, permissible, and not wajib or obligated.

 

[Serinity]

Hearing and reading the opinions of women, including Muslim women, I can safely say that a very good number have a mindset that is focused on equality. This is not a shock, because this mindset is prevalent in the modern world, especially in the west. Women are not ashamed to say that they will take more than 1 husband if the husband takes more than 1 wife. Nowadays women have power - they can choose to have a career and work to earn money, and most do. No verses from Qur'an, or narrations, will cause women to change their mindset. Advocating for multiple wives is a lost cause. It's one of those things that we Muslims should give up on. It's in the category of discontinued because no one wants to accept it, just like slavery.

1st, polygamy is not obligatory, secondly, their jealousy does not justify their condemnation of polygamy.

I don't care what women say when it goes against the Quran, and Allah SWT is never wrong. So their analogy that if a husband has 4 wives, then a wife can have 4 husband, does not, and will never work. Cause by Allah SWT no real man will share their wife, ever. It goes against the Quran.

It is haram, afiak, for a woman to have more than 1 husband. I don't care about equality as it isn't just equality if it goes against the Quran.

Shall we now allow men to go into women's change room? Take a bath with them after sports? No. There is no such thing as absolute equality. afaik.

Any woman who says if a husband can take 4 wives, then I can take 4 husbands, Are going against Allah SWT, and are being defiantly disobedient. Ignorant or/and arrogant.

A man and a woman are not the same.
And may Allah SWT forgive us for whatever we say of wrong. Ameen. And Allah SWT knows best.

 

[Regrets1]

I seriously don't want this to drag.
no one said a woman should have 4 husbands BUT if she's not happy with her husband she can and should leave him and marry someone else that too obviously after getting divorce from first one.

I didn't wanna say this but I will coz I'm satisfied with it


"If a woman does not feel that she could allow her husband to marry than one woman at the same time, then Islam allows her the right to refuse him permission to do this outset of their marriage, however she must indicate this preference in the prenuptial agreement or she will forfeit this right under the Islamic law. If she is uncertain as to whether or not oppose to her husband marrying a second wife second wife later on, then she could include that in the agreement and thus make it binding upon her husband that he must consult her at that time and that he must then abide by her wishes"

"[FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]Praise be to Allaah.[/FONT][FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]The basic principle with regard to the conditions stipulated by both partners in the marriage contract is that it is a valid condition that must be fulfilled, and it is not permissible to break it, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The condition which most deserves to be fulfilled is that by means of which intimacy becomes permissible for you.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2721) and Muslim (1418).
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The basic principle with regard to conditions in the marriage contract is that they are valid, unless there is proof to show that they are not valid. The evidence for that is the general meaning of the evidence which speaks of fulfilling covenants:
“O you who believe! Fulfil (your) obligations”
[al-Maa’idah 5:1]
“And fulfil (every) covenant. Verily, the covenant will be questioned about”
[al-Isra’ 17:34]
and in the hadeeth narrated from the Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) it says: “The Muslims are bound by their conditions, except a condition that forbids what is permissible or permits what is forbidden.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1352). And he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever stipulates a condition that is not in the Book of Allaah it is not valid, even if he stipulates a hundred times.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2155) and Muslim (1504).
To sum up, the basic principle with regard to conditions is that they are permissible and valid, whether they are to do with marriage, buying and selling, renting, pledges or mortgages, or awqaaf. The ruling on the conditions that are stipulated in contracts, if they are valid, is that they must be fulfilled, because of the general meaning of the verse (interpretation of the meaning):
“O you who believe! Fulfil (your) obligations”
[al-Maa’idah 5:1].
End quote.
Al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 5/241 (Egyptian edition).
For examples of that ,see the answers to questions number 20757 and 10343
With regard to the woman stipulating that the husband should not take a second wife, the opinion of some scholars is that this condition is permissible, and if the husband breaks it, the wife has the right to annul the marriage and take her dues in full.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
If he stipulates that he will not take her out of her house or her city, or that he will not travel with her or will not take another wife, then he is obliged to fulfil that, and if he does not do so, then she has the right to annul the marriage. This was narrated from ‘Umar, Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqaas and ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas (may Allah be pleased with them). End quote.
Al-Mughni, 9/483
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
If she stipulates that he should not take another wife, this is permissible. Some of the scholars said that it is not permissible, because it is restricting the husband in something that Allah has permitted to him, and it is contrary to the Qur'aan in which it says (interpretation of the meaning): “then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four” [al-Nisa’ 4:3]. It may be said in response to that that she has a reason to ask him not to marry another wife and she is not transgressing against anyone. The husband himself is the one who is giving up his right; if he has the right to marry more than one, he is giving it up. So what is to prevent this condition being valid?
Hence the correct view with regard to this matter is the view of Imam Ahmad (may Allah have mercy on him), which is that this condition is valid. End quote.
Al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 5/243
It should be noted that if the husband breaks this condition, his wife does not become divorced as a result of that, rather she has the right to annul the marriage, and she may either annul it or give up the condition and accept what her husband has done, and remain as his wife.
Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan (may Allah preserve him) said:
Among other conditions that are valid in marriage is if she stipulates that he should not take another wife. If he fulfils the condition (all well and good), otherwise she has the right to annul the marriage because of the hadeeth, “The condition which most deserves to be fulfilled is that by means of which intimacy becomes permissible for you.” Similarly, if she stipulates that he should not separate her from her children or parents, this condition is valid and if he breaks it, she has the right to annul the marriage. If she stipulates that her mahr should be increased or that it should be in a specific currency, the condition is valid and binding, and he has to fulfil it, and she has the right of annulment if it is broken. In that case she has the choice and may decide any time she wants and may annul it whenever she wants, so long as there is nothing on her part to indicate that she accepts it if she knows that he has gone against what was stipulated; in that case she would no longer have the option.
‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allah be pleased with him) said to the one who he ruled was obliged to fulfil what his wife had stipulated, when the man said, “Divorce us in that case,” ‘Umar said: It is a must to fulfil the conditions, because of the hadeeth, “The believers are bound by their conditions.” Al-‘Allaamah Ibn al-Qayyim said: It is obligatory to fulfil these conditions which are the most deserving of being fulfilled. This is what is implied by sharee’ah, reason and sound analogy, if the woman did not agree to become a man's wife except on these conditions, and if it were not obligatory to fulfil them, then the marriage contract would not be based on mutual agreement, and it would be making something obligatory upon her that Allah and His Messenger have not made obligatory. End quote.
Al-Mulakhkhas al-Fiqhi (2/345, 346)
And Allah knows best.


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[Regrets1]

Please close this thread.

Asalamu Alaikum:

 

[Serinity]

Alaikum wa salam,

May Allah SWT forgive us, Ameen.

I see that we might have misunderstood eachother. Nvm, I forgive. .............. many things can be misunderstood. As long as what you do doesn't go against the Quran, then ok. I'm not trying to attack you.

 

[Regrets1]

Alaikum wa salam,

May Allah SWT forgive us, Ameen.

I see that we might have misunderstood eachother. Nvm, I forgive. .............. many things can be misunderstood. As long as what you do doesn't go against the Quran, then ok. I'm not trying to attack you.

Ameen.

no Muslim would go against the word of Allah that's what makes us Muslims " submission to the will of Allah swt" we all know men and women both have rights Allah is not unjust..we just neejd to study as much as we can about Islam not just for ourselves but for others too so we can clearly answer their questions with proof, if we just talk about mens right or just women's rights not many people would wanna accept Islam. Here we spoke about a man can have four wives and he must treat them equally, women can't have 4 husbands but if she's not happy she can get divorce and marry someone else, if a woman does not want her husband to have another wife while they are together they can have an agreement..I don't think many women know about this and they should know it its must.

 

[abumuslim82]

Ameen.

no Muslim would go against the word of Allah that's what makes us Muslims " submission to the will of Allah swt" we all know men and women both have rights Allah is not unjust..we just neejd to study as much as we can about Islam not just for ourselves but for others too so we can clearly answer their questions with proof, if we just talk about mens right or just women's rights not many people would wanna accept Islam. Here we spoke about a man can have four wives and he must treat them equally, women can't have 4 husbands but if she's not happy she can get divorce and marry someone else, if a woman does not want her husband to have another wife while they are together they can have an agreement..I don't think many women know about this and they should know it its must.

K do what u want to do, u came here for advice with ur mind already made up? and u not even married.

Ur agreement u mentioned is a kuffaar agreement, go ahead, its ur imaan, ur life. If u feel the kuffaar system is better for you, then u know what u are.

Done, mods please close thus thread, its pointless explaining any further

 

[Serinity]

Ameen.

no Muslim would go against the word of Allah that's what makes us Muslims " submission to the will of Allah swt" we all know men and women both have rights Allah is not unjust..we just neejd to study as much as we can about Islam not just for ourselves but for others too so we can clearly answer their questions with proof, if we just talk about mens right or just women's rights not many people would wanna accept Islam. Here we spoke about a man can have four wives and he must treat them equally, women can't have 4 husbands but if she's not happy she can get divorce and marry someone else, if a woman does not want her husband to have another wife while they are together they can have an agreement..I don't think many women know about this and they should know it its must.

I am single, and not married, and I've not read so much into rights, etc. so Idk much about my wife's right or my rights, (some I do).

The wife should read on husband's rights, and the husband on wife's rights. That way one is not ignorant of what obligations one has to fulfill, and it will, In shaa' Allah, reduce tension and misunderstandings.

What I am saying is, if I only know my rights, and the wife only knows her rights, then we don't know eachother's rights, and that is not ok.

There is wisdom in allowing the husband and not the wife. Pls be careful ok?

Allahu alam.

 

[Regrets1]

I am single, and not married, and I've not read so much into rights, etc. so Idk much about my wife's right or my rights, (some I do).

The wife should read on husband's rights, and the husband on wife's rights. That way one is not ignorant of what obligations one has to fulfill, and it will, In shaa' Allah, reduce tension and misunderstandings.

What I am saying is, if I only know my rights, and the wife only knows her rights, then we don't know eachother's rights, and that is not ok.

There is wisdom in allowing the husband and not the wife. Pls be careful ok?

Allahu alam.

Yeah I agree and that's what I meant men shouldn't just know about their rights only but about women's rights too and women should know mens right aswell as her own.

"There is wisdom in allowing the husband and not the wife. Pls be careful ok?" Don't wanna argue over this again Iv said it many times I know why a man is allowed and women isn't but it's not obligatory and if a woman knows she won't be able to be with someone who will have another wife then they should have an agreement because it is allowed and a man who doesn't wanna agree by all means he can find someone who will happily accept his other wives.

 

[Regrets1]

K do what u want to do, u came here for advice with ur mind already made up? and u not even married.

Ur agreement u mentioned is a kuffaar agreement, go ahead, its ur imaan, ur life. If u feel the kuffaar system is better for you, then u know what u are.

Done, mods please close thus thread, its pointless explaining any further

oh oh. I think you need to study more coz it's not kuffar agreement just because many people don't know about it or don't talk about it don't mean it's not in Islam. We don't have to agree you can kindly leave this thread I know anyone can reply but you are a stubborn person you keep going on about men's rights but can't handle that a man and woman can have an agreement and maybe some people do coz not all men wanna have 2 or 4 wives. I'm not married but I can still learn about my rights can't I? Since Youv started sending comments here all you keep saying is "kuffar" how can u even think I'm not a Muslim ok it came in your mind how do u keep writing it here?? Fear Allah..he alone knows what's in my heart and yours too but using that word again and again isn't making u a better Muslim showing hate towards me doesn't mean you love Islam more.
peace

 

[Serinity]

I don't want to discuss this. If the man has a high sex drive, and the first way doesn't or can't satisfy that, it is better for him to find another wife. Better than committing adultery.

One of the reasons to marry in the first place: desires. If one can be just, and has uncontrollable desires, and has the means, then why not?

 

[Regrets1]

I don't want to discuss this. If the man has a high sex drive, and the first way doesn't or can't satisfy that, it is better for him to find another wife. Better than committing adultery.

One of the reasons to marry in the first place: desires. If one can be just, and has uncontrollable desires, and has the means, then why not?

i know what I wanted to know..this thread needs to be closed.

Yeah...we spoke about this b4 too and someone did say if the first wife can't handle the second 1 she can ask for divorce. And I did say if a woman isn't satisfied she can ask for divorce and marry someone else as even you said marriage is for desires (and il make it clear she shouldn't jump from a man to man)..People can do whatever they wanna and il do what I wanna as long as its halal..we all think different..gonna end it here.

Asalamu Alaikum

 

[Serinity]

Alaikum wa salam.

Close thread.................

 

[Marina-Aisha]

I hope one day i have the strength say yea u can have second wife...but at moment i don't but i applaud the women who are co wives i thinks amazing that they have ability to do that.

 

[MuslimInshallah]

Assalaamu alaikum,

(smile) Thread closed due to popular request. Alhamdullillah, that most were able to express themselves and come to some understanding of one another's positions.


May Allah, the Giver of Honour and Dishonour, Reward all those who strive to restrain themselves to Please Him.

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