How I feel...

[AnonymousPoster]

I wear Hijab.
I'm a teenager..
I've noticed though that I just feel like...invisible.
It's like my best friend is ashamed of me, subconsciously.
I've never gotten credit for wearing hijab, or not talking to guys.
It feels unfair, that her parents adore her behavior, but she waits for guys to come and hang out with her.

I don't want to sound like a whiner, I never whine.
I've just had it.
Today at this place to celebrate Eid, my clique of friends and her forgot me. They didnt want to be around me. They just stuck with guys. Fortunately, I know a lott of people. I hung out with my good friends, we had a good time. I just felt bad that she was sitting around tlaking to guys here and also at our local Masjid, and her parents and everyone around her think she's great. She changes her clothes and it's just annoying because I know that she'll have a great teenage life, then when she hits her 20s she'll cover marry a good man who doesn't know about her past and never look back and be the best person ever. While here I am all covered and what not, lowering my gaze.....and I get nada! I sound like an idiot probably. But I just need some advice.

Any calming words? Thanks....

 

[__follower]

agreed with AD brother u r doing that not for being praised by others but ur doing that cuz Allah ordered

 

[Hamayun]

Subhan Allah Sister,

You should be very proud of yourself. :thumbs_up

They should be jealous of you. You have what they can never have and that is "respect"

Friends come and go Sister but the only people that matter are your family... (my dad used to tell me this but I never believed him)

Looking back now I wish I hadn't wasted all my teen age running after my friends. Where are they now???

They will disappear like the horns off a donkey's head. What will remain with you is your respect, your clear conscience, your family (husband/kids) and the satisfaction of living a good life for Allah and setting a beautiful example for your children.

I am proud of you Sister. We are all proud of you.

 

['Abd-al Latif]

I wear Hijab.
I'm a teenager..
I've noticed though that I just feel like...invisible.
It's like my best friend is ashamed of me, subconsciously.
I've never gotten credit for wearing hijab, or not talking to guys.
It feels unfair, that her parents adore her behavior, but she waits for guys to come and hang out with her.

I don't want to sound like a whiner, I never whine.
I've just had it.
Today at this place to celebrate Eid, my clique of friends and her forgot me. They didnt want to be around me. They just stuck with guys. Fortunately, I know a lott of people. I hung out with my good friends, we had a good time. I just felt bad that she was sitting around tlaking to guys here and also at our local Masjid, and her parents and everyone around her think she's great. She changes her clothes and it's just annoying because I know that she'll have a great teenage life, then when she hits her 20s she'll cover marry a good man who doesn't know about her past and never look back and be the best person ever. While here I am all covered and what not, lowering my gaze.....and I get nada! I sound like an idiot probably. But I just need some advice.

Any calming words? Thanks....

Brothers have a lot of respect for sisters keep their duty to Allah, because the charateristics one likes to see in woman (in particular - their wife) is one who lowers her gaze, is humble, submissive, shy and honest. Such a woman is virtuous, who guards her chastity and insha'Allah will get the best of men as her husband. So you should feel proud and happy that Allah has kept you safe from the paths leading to evil, because any husband would love these charateristics in his wife and any man, muslim or not, dislikes the fact that a woman has been spending time with strange men. There is an unwritten rule amongst many men, and that is "When a woman has lost her modesty, do not ask her about her".

So as for your friends, believe me when I tell you that it won't work out unless they change.

1. If one doesn't make an effort to practice and become good muslims now, then they are fooling themselves to think they will do it in the future!

2. When a woman spends time with strange (non-mahram) men, she will become confident in their company, will lose her shyness, her virtuous and her modesty so her readyness to change to become a good muslim will not be as easy as one makes it out to be. So the saying that comes to my mind is "If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail".

3. Allah knows best whether she will marry a good man or not, but evil deeds will not bring about a good future so one is only deciving himself with such a thought!


Allah rewards good with good, and whatever evil befalls them is because of what their own hands have earned [as Allah says in the Qur'an].

Keep your duty to Allah, and do not be decieved by the brief enjoyments of this dunya.

 

[Ansariyah]

May Allah guide u sis amiin. You shudnt feel ashamed for being practising, u shud actually feel at peace n happy. Believe me there is not much on the other side (the non-practising field). There is darkness, there is evil. Don't let the fake smiles n the (oh we havinh so much fun) decieve you. At the end of the day these people will have to come back n rest their head on their pillows? You think they be laughing then? They worry in their sleep, "wat have I done today"? Where will I go tonight if Allah takes my soul? You should worry about ur own akhirah n ways to get closer to ALlah. You will not answer for her deeds except ur very own.

Allah is their lord, he will reward/punish/guide whom he wills. You should help her as ur sister in Islam. The only worry u shud have in regards to her shud only be "a sincere feeling, that u want her to practise n end up in jannah". Your thinking here is wrong : then when she hits her 20s she'll cover marry a good man who doesn't know about her past and never look back and be the best person ever. . That shudnt worry you, that shud make u happy. Alot of people reverted to Islam, and are like that today? Allah accepts repetence n wants us to repent after we stray, you think we should stay bad? Don't you know that ALlah can misguide you n Guide her? Seek refuge in Allah, because I have seen peoples hearts change n end up exactly where they never thought they wud be.

On the authority of Sahl bin Saad Al-Saedi, who said :
A man came to the prophet and said: "O Messenger of Allah, direct me to an act which, if I do it,[will cause] Allah to love me and people to love me." He said: "Renounce the world and Allah will love you, and renounce what people possess and people will love you". ​

"a Hadith related by Ibn Majah and others with good chains of authorities.

All mistakes are mine, n if I said anything close to good its from Allah.

 

[layla is here]

I wear Hijab.
I'm a teenager..
I've noticed though that I just feel like...invisible.
It's like my best friend is ashamed of me, subconsciously.
I've never gotten credit for wearing hijab, or not talking to guys.
It feels unfair, that her parents adore her behavior, but she waits for guys to come and hang out with her.

I don't want to sound like a whiner, I never whine.
I've just had it.
Today at this place to celebrate Eid, my clique of friends and her forgot me. They didnt want to be around me. They just stuck with guys. Fortunately, I know a lott of people. I hung out with my good friends, we had a good time. I just felt bad that she was sitting around tlaking to guys here and also at our local Masjid, and her parents and everyone around her think she's great. She changes her clothes and it's just annoying because I know that she'll have a great teenage life, then when she hits her 20s she'll cover marry a good man who doesn't know about her past and never look back and be the best person ever. While here I am all covered and what not, lowering my gaze.....and I get nada! I sound like an idiot probably. But I just need some advice.

Any calming words? Thanks....

assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu
do not be so sure that she is going to get a "good man" and you are going to get "nada". Maybe she will never cover, the people will one realize her true character and she will get nada whilst you get a good man!

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

I sound like an idiot probably.

yeah lol

but you also sound like a

I'm a teenager..

so guess what, your friend sux and you dont. what you are... what you become is so HARD to change...

she might cover up jus b4 marriage.. but that might not change WHO she has become..
whereas because you have always been decent careful and non-showy... that has made YOU and therefore you rock, she dont, she'll flop and you'll rise


dont believe me? watch as time proves me right :blind:

 

[Sahabiyaat]

She changes her clothes and it's just annoying because I know that she'll have a great teenage life, then when she hits her 20s she'll cover marry a good man who doesn't know about her past and never look back and be the best person ever.

this is not true, this is never true and ive seen it happen.

i had a friend ...lets say, shes just like your friend is now,boy-obssessed, crazy teenager kind of girl,we thought she would be the last to get married out of our gang but guess what, she got married first!, against her will, which is wrong i guess, to a much older man (she herself is young and pretty), and her teenage dating days came to an abrupt end... and i lost contact for couple of years......just a few days ago i was eid shopping and i saw her, only i didnt recognise her........:muddlehea...shes used to be very very pretty...but now i saw a face with yellow skin just clinging to it and her bones sticking out! its like she weighed six stonnes!!....i was so shocked.....and i used to think like you, that MasahAllah, shes pretty and shell have no prob trapping a stupid man into marrying her........but Allah planned differently, and Allah is the best of planners...as it says in the Quran....Allah gave her respite and enjoyment for a while and then seized her with a punishment that she 'periceved not'...and Allah is not unjust in the least, but we are unjust to ourselves

and you, the chaste, patient believing girl, should not even be having these feeling of arkwardness and inadequateness .you are simply biding your time, and obeying Allah by keeping pure until Allah gives you one of these....:beard:...ok not a beard as fluffy or grey as that or a turban as big as that (no sense of style!) .... because remember the quran saying...the believing men are for believng women and vice versa and unbelieving men are for unbelieving women and vice versa.

ok?

now smile (i know the fluffy beard scared you, but you can relax now)

 

[Sahabiyaat]

and one more thing...shes not your friend,because frinds are not 'ashamed' of one another, nor is she befitting of you alliance, loyalty and friendship, you need to learn to recognise who deserves you love and attention, and she certainly does not.

ill be your friend *sticks up thumb, like we used to do in nusery*

 

[Ali.]

I wear Hijab.

Masha'Allah

I've noticed though that I just feel like...invisible.
It's like my best friend is ashamed of me, subconsciously.
I've never gotten credit for wearing hijab, or not talking to guys.
It feels unfair, that her parents adore her behavior, but she waits for guys to come and hang out with her.

Wait right there. Look at the part I bolded. Your "best friend" is acting ashamed of you. Do you think she is really your friend if she does this? Worthy of friendship? With all respect I really don't think you should be determined to get her back as a friend by quitting to please your creator and doing what you think is right.

I don't want to sound like a whiner, I never whine.
I've just had it.
Today at this place to celebrate Eid, my clique of friends and her forgot me. They didnt want to be around me. They just stuck with guys. Fortunately, I know a lott of people.

You act like your the only one, you're not. Keep strong.

I know that she'll have a great teenage life,

It depends what you define a great teenage life as. Some would define it as being a total rebel, but there is one definition and you have to come up with the conclusion of how you should spend your life.

I sound like an idiot probably.

Don't worry.

But I just need some advice.

Who doesn't?


Stay strong.

And be patient; verily, Allah loses not the reward of the good-doers

{Surah Hud: 115}

The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allah ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly), then verily! he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend.

{41:34}

And once more, don't worry too much about the people who dislike you because of your religion.


The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "A person is likely to follow the faith of his friend, so look whom you befriend." [reported by Abu Dawood & Tirmidhee].


In another Hadith, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith's bellows (respectively). So as for the seller of musk then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith's bellows then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him." [Bukhari & Muslim]

In his commentary of this Hadith, Imam an-Nawawi said that the Prophet (peace be upon him) compared a good companion to a seller of musk and spoke of the virtue of having companions who are good, who have noble manners, piety, knowledge and good culture. Such are those who grant us from their virtue. And he (peace be upon him) forbade us to sit with those who do evil, commit a lot of sins and other bad deeds, as well as with innovators, backbiters, and so forth.

Another scholar said: "Keeping good company with the pious results in attainment of beneficial knowledge, noble manners and righteous actions, whereas keeping company with the wicked prevents all of that"

Qur'anic evidences:

And (remember) the Day when the wrong-doer will bite his hands and say: Woe to me! Would that I had taken a path with the Messenger. Woe to me! If only I had not taken so- and-so as a friend! He has led me astray from this Reminder (the Qur'an) after it had come to me.
{25:27-29}

Friends on that Day will be enemies one to another, except al-Muttaqoon (i.e. those who have Taqwah).
{43:67}

Once again, keep strong. :thumbs_up

 

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

I wear Hijab.
I'm a teenager..
I've noticed though that I just feel like...invisible.
It's like my best friend is ashamed of me, subconsciously.
I've never gotten credit for wearing hijab, or not talking to guys.
It feels unfair, that her parents adore her behavior, but she waits for guys to come and hang out with her.

I don't want to sound like a whiner, I never whine.
I've just had it.
Today at this place to celebrate Eid, my clique of friends and her forgot me. They didnt want to be around me. They just stuck with guys. Fortunately, I know a lott of people. I hung out with my good friends, we had a good time. I just felt bad that she was sitting around tlaking to guys here and also at our local Masjid, and her parents and everyone around her think she's great. She changes her clothes and it's just annoying because I know that she'll have a great teenage life, then when she hits her 20s she'll cover marry a good man who doesn't know about her past and never look back and be the best person ever. While here I am all covered and what not, lowering my gaze.....and I get nada! I sound like an idiot probably. But I just need some advice.

Any calming words? Thanks....

Well firstly, you don't sound like an idiot. What you're feeling is natural, but what is greater is your resolve to stay away from what you know to be haraam. That is commendable, honorable, praiseworthy, and Insha'Allaah, heavy on the scales. Realize that the reward from Allaah is in proportion to the trial, meaning the greater the trial, the greater the reward for the person who sticks firmly to the religion. The greater the imaan of a person, the tougher the trials, hence greater the reward. I think what I want to say to you is summed up by Imam ash-Shafiee in the following lines of poetry:

Part from the days where you used to do as you wish,
And restrain your soul when the decree of Allah is ordained.
And don’t despair over the events of the past,
For none of the events of the dunya were ever meant to remain.
And be a man who is firm upon his affairs,
And whose character is that of pardoning and nobility.
And there is no sadness or happiness that is continuous,
Just as there is there is no comfort or pain.
If you are a person who is satisfied with what he has,
Then you and the owner of all possessions are equal.
And upon he who’s open valley death descends upon,
Then there is no earth or sky to protect you from it.
And the earth of Allah is vast but,
When the ordainment of Allah descends even the open valley congests.​

And Hasan al-Basri said: "The believer in this world is like a stranger: he does not become upset when it puts him down, and he does not compete for it to make him honorable. The people are in a certain state, and he is in another state: the people are are relieved of him, and he is exhausted of himself."

When what has preceded has been established, what are practical steps to help ourselves? It was narrated that Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Whoever is mainly concerned about the Hereafter, Allaah will make him feel independent of others and will make him focused and content, and his worldly affairs will fall into place. But whoever is mainly concerned with this world, Allaah will make him feel in constant need of others and will make him distracted and unfocused, and he will get nothing of this world except what is decreed for him.”
​

Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2389; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 6510

Here's a small list of things that you can do to never feel like that again Insha'Allaah:

1. Realize that you are a unique individual. If you try to imitate others, you loose yourself and your personality. So just because a friend of yours mixes with guys, doesn't mean you have to. Just because your friends do something, you don't have to. Be yourself.
2. Once you've done that, ask yourself and sincerely answer yourself, why am I wearing Hijaab? Why am I not free-mixing with guys? Why am I guarding myself? Why am I sticking to the commands of Allaah and staying away from the haraam?
3. Once you have the answers for that, if you notice any of them are not for Allaah, then work to make it sincere for Allaah. All of these are actions of the heart, so its really only between you and your Lord so be sincere and truthful to Him and to yourself.
4. Once you've done this, get practical. See what you can do. Get involved and hang out with practicing sisters. Who your friends are has a a very profound effect on you. So seek sisters who are practicing, balanced, and can make good friends and hang out with them. They become your protection against the haraam.
5. Get involved in different projects. For example, there's AlMaghrib Institute in the US, UK and Canada and AlKauthar in the UK and Australia. You can meet a lot of awesome sisters there, I'm sure.
6. Lastly, don't pity yourself for sticking to your religion. Be content with who you are, always try to improve yourself, and be satisfied with what you have and always have good hope in Allaah. And don't ever underestimate the power of sincere dua' to Allaah.

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-support/33643-dont-sad.html

I hope this was of some help to you. Imam ash-Shafiee, in another of his amazing poetry has the following lines:

إن لله عبادا فطنا * تركوا الدنيا وخافوا الفتنا
نظروا فيها فلما علموا * أنها ليست لحي وطنا
جعلوها لجة واتخذوا * صالح الأعمال فيها سفنا
​

Verily, Allah has intelligent slaves - They abandoned the dunya, and were cautious of its tribulations;
They looked to it, and when they realized - That it is not an abode for those who are truly alive;
They made it a transitory station, and took - Righteous actions as a vehicle.
​

Diwan ash-Shafiee.

I hope Allaah makes it easy for you and for all of us. Ameen.

 

[noorseeker]

Im practising , yes i do look at the people and see their chilling and that, having fun and that, and you get feelings of missing out. even though you are on the right path,

You do feel invisible i guess, lonely as well, but their smiles are false, their happiness is false, sure their happy and that, but they are getting no reward.

Ask your self a question, how can a muslim be happy in their life if they dont pray their salat, you cant be content can you,.

Go up to these people and actually ask them are they happy?

I think your thinking is she will have her fun, then get religiuos and get forgiven, and come to your level, or you think Allah swt will love her more,



so your thinking hey why cant i have fun , i will practice later on in life, like those other people i see, but this is your life sister, it too great to risk, im sure you seen the post yesterday about the girl who died on eid, she was only 18

But when you see someone change you say mashallah and you feel hapy for them

 

[Khayal]

this is not true, this is never true and ive seen it happen.

i had a friend ...lets say, shes just like your friend is now,boy-obssessed, crazy teenager kind of girl,we thought she would be the last to get married out of our gang but guess what, she got married first!, against her will, which is wrong i guess, to a much older man (she herself is young and pretty), and her teenage dating days came to an abrupt end... and i lost contact for couple of years......just a few days ago i was eid shopping and i saw her, only i didnt recognise her........:muddlehea...shes used to be very very pretty...but now i saw a face with yellow skin just clinging to it and her bones sticking out! its like she weighed six stonnes!!....i was so shocked.....and i used to think like you, that MasahAllah, shes pretty and shell have no prob trapping a stupid man into marrying her........but Allah planned differently, and Allah is the best of planners...as it says in the Quran....Allah gave her respite and enjoyment for a while and then seized her with a punishment that she 'periceved not'...and Allah is not unjust in the least, but we are unjust to ourselves

and you, the chaste, patient believing girl, should not even be having these feeling of arkwardness and inadequateness .you are simply biding your time, and obeying Allah by keeping pure until Allah gives you one of these....:beard:...ok not a beard as fluffy or grey as that or a turban as big as that (no sense of style!) .... :giggling::giggling:

because remember the quran saying...the believing men are for believng women and vice versa and unbelieving men are for unbelieving women and vice versa.

ok?

now smile (i know the fluffy beard scared you, but you can relax now :giggling::giggling: )

MashaAllaah! everybody has already contributed very well, so there is no need to say more.

I passed everyone with 100% grades.

​

 

[Muslima Islam]

i totally agree with bro AD she will get what she earned in the here after whether its good or bad. But for you sister.. dont be sad or upset. You dont need those people to give you credit the only one that counts is Allah the most high. I'm proud of you for wearing hijab never get discouraged. I too wear hijab but I always get credit for it.. its not that exciting. I just recently started wearing hijab and it feels great to keep with it. I attempted this before but failed to keep it on. Its easy for me because where i live there are ALOT of muslims. Maybe you should reconsider your friends and get better ones with there deen.

 

[highway_trekker]

Allaah will love you Inshaa'Allaah for making a sacrifice and protecting your honour during your youth... And Allaah doesnt let the good deeds of a person be lost...He will repay you...sometime someplace you will see the reward of what you do.

You keep strong young sister... be proud of who you are... you chose a path that not many chose and for that... Allaah will give you something better not only in this life but the aakhirah too Inshaa'Allaah

 

[جوري]

I love you in Allah sis.. you seem wise beyond your years, You have left your friend behind in another decade/phase of life and moved on ( as in grown).. I find you level headed and cultivated for your age.. your reward lies with Allah swt, but I have to tell you, and I am older than you, you'd be a gem of a sister to have, and exactly the sort of person I'd be proud to showoff as a friend, not a girl so besotted by cliches and western ideals, that I have to look for something of value in her...

be patient, and smile.. you are probably cared for much more than you can surmise.

 

[Zahida]

Good advice from Alpha Dude listen to it...... you shouldn't be worried about your so called friend . Just concentrate on yourself you know you are doing the right thing. Like you said by age of 20 friend will be married and you will probably never see her again, you must do whats right for you honey! Take this advice from a 40 year old......... Trust me.

I wear Hijab.
I'm a teenager..
I've noticed though that I just feel like...invisible.
It's like my best friend is ashamed of me, subconsciously.
I've never gotten credit for wearing hijab, or not talking to guys.
It feels unfair, that her parents adore her behavior, but she waits for guys to come and hang out with her.

I don't want to sound like a whiner, I never whine.
I've just had it.
Today at this place to celebrate Eid, my clique of friends and her forgot me. They didnt want to be around me. They just stuck with guys. Fortunately, I know a lott of people. I hung out with my good friends, we had a good time. I just felt bad that she was sitting around tlaking to guys here and also at our local Masjid, and her parents and everyone around her think she's great. She changes her clothes and it's just annoying because I know that she'll have a great teenage life, then when she hits her 20s she'll cover marry a good man who doesn't know about her past and never look back and be the best person ever. While here I am all covered and what not, lowering my gaze.....and I get nada! I sound like an idiot probably. But I just need some advice.

Any calming words? Thanks....

 

[noorseeker]

Your friends ignored you may be because they are not on the deen, and if your around them, its like you feel the tension in the air, like they wish you were not there, because they wana do things that go against the deen, like chilling with guys.

And in turn you feel bad,


If i chased the girls. believe me i would have so many friends, i mean the guys i chilled with back in the days, i would stil be with them,

But if i met up with them, its just awkward.

I give you an example, when we were little , my uncle is really religious,when he used to come we used to switch the telly off, we enjoyed his company but deep inside we couldnt wait till he left , so we can watch the telly again, it was nothing personal.

You should chill with those other friends of yours, its her loss not yours

 

[Ushae]

Virtue is a very rare thing in todays day and age.

You felt jealousy
You recognised that these feelings were wrong
You accepted what you thought was wrong

There are VERY FEW women capable of thinking in a virtuous and rightous way like this. Whomever you marry will be an exceedingly lucky man.

=)

 

[anonymous]

Thank you guys so much, I never thought I would get this much advice. Great advice

Awh and thank you Ushae

I feel a lot better now, especially since an old cute lady at the grocery store said she had a lot of respect for me because of my Hijab


I really feel blessed now, and thankful. Also, I feel like I'm worth something, and that while my friend is chillin with guys, they're not exactly thinking about how nice she is on the inside.

I sometimes do however, still a little jealous that the guys are hanging out so much with her, and calling her things like beautiful. While I get nothing. But I'm willing to wait, for the person who actually means it