Husband

AnonymousPoster

AnonymousPoster

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Over the past few years me and my husband have had major problems which has resulted in major arguements. At the mo we're living together but not properly, think we need a bit of space to actually find ourselves again and give this a proper go....
here's the strange thing tho, every morning when I go to have a shower, I know he comes downstairs and stands outside for a lil while..what hes doin I do not know.. imsad
yes i know your prob thinking wtf.. same here...
its been ongoing for 2 months now.. well 2 months that I am aware of.. only Allah swt knows how long before..
Each and every day it plays with my head and I don't know what to think...
I want to ask him outright but I'm sure i'l be fed lies, as sometimes when he door creaks or i hit the door, he quickly speaks and tells me summat, so it would appear to me that he's come to the door to tell me.
On the other hand if he admits it, he'll just stop and no1 will be aware of anything and I'll just have to continue suffering in silence.

I really want to find out what he's doing,, is he reading something on me?
Sometimes i feel has someone done summat on me because I feel no connection for him, and ask Allah swt why is there so much distance in us..

As bad as it is, i've even felt like putting a cam up.. i know its bad.. but cant help all these things going round in my head.. :cry:

what am i to do..
 
He might be going out to get some fresh air......if there is anyone who is reading something on you it is the shaytan and it is called waswasa....he does it to break marriages apart
 
Pray to Allah to make your marriage good as ever sis :(
 
What bathroom window there is no mention of it in the original thread

''every morning when I go to have a shower, I know he comes downstairs and stands outside for a lil while''

downstairs and outside? to me sounds like front door and outside on the walkway.....

downstairs + man + outside + standing = getting fresh air
 
You could pretend to have a shower.. run the water etc and try to catch him in the act?
Click to expand...
I want to ask him outright but I'm sure i'l be fed lies, as sometimes when he door creaks or i hit the door, he quickly speaks and tells me summat, so it would appear to me that he's come to the door to tell me.
Click to expand...

:hmm:
 
''he stands outside the bathroom door'' << that sounds better

does he do this all the time
 
I thought that you meant that he went downstairs and outside too..its not clear in the original thread that u meant outside the bathroom door.

Well right now my heads coming up with some proper wierd ideas like putting a camera up on him..lol i know i know its ridiculous theres so many issues of making it discreet- maybe ive read too many dectective stories.

OR could u not ask someone to stay over like a friend or family member- someone who u really trust and ask them to keep an eye on him when u go for your shower??

OR change the times u have a shower so that u may have it morning one day, evening one day and maybe at midnight another- ( a little far fetched i know-) BUT if he comes running then to stand outside the door then you'll know for certain that somethings wrong.

Try talking to someone at the mosque they might be able to advice u better...and IF someone is reading something on you then there may be ways to neutralise it so that it has no effect upon u.

Hope that helps and good luck
May Allah give u peace and happiness
 
I've thought about camera but just cant- for one they are very expensive,the discreet ones and howdo igo about using it..
no 1 i can really trust - everyone is on his side and if I was to mention anything to anyone, they wil prob tell him on the sly..

I can't seem to find someone i can talk to at the Mosque...
 
I think you should just run the water and as you hear him outside the door open it very suddenly and ask him what r u doing there? if he tries to tell u some stupid lie confront him and say youve been doing the same thing everyday...whats going on???????

confrontation is the best way..unfortunatley to say..you said u guys already argue alot...what difference will this make if you confront him??
 
islam prohibits spying and suspicion

''O you who believe, avoid (indulging in) much suspicion; truly some suspicion is a sin.'' (49:12)
 
cos he'll jus feed some lies, and he'll stop .. the issue will just get dismissed n ignored... then he might start summat else without me knowing..
 
hhhmm camera idea was a bit far fetched i guess and i suppose being upfront it the best that u can do but i also know that people who want to hide something desperately generally come out with some wierd and far fetched excuses and the chances are that IF he is doing something then he probably will have prepared himself with sufficient excuses before hand.

So...erm i dont know how this will work- there are some very good respectable pillars in the commmunity around me that are very approachable and will know how to deal with such issues. Maybe if u ask the moderators here they will be able to let u know of people you might be able to talk to in your area??
 
yeah suppose..
its such a weird thing to be telling someone I know like this.. i feel so lost and upset when i think about this all..
I pray to Allah swt that i just find out what it is so I can move on from all this.
If i ask him outright and it don't make sense beliving its more lies, it will only push me further imsad
 

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