Husband

Astaghfirullah, I feel ashamed to say this but I can't PM you as you're anonymous. Please forgive me for saying this as its the sickest but the most common reason a husband spies on his wife when she is alone and especially in the bathroom. He thinks you are satisfying yourself!!
 
AnonymousGender said:
Astaghfirullah, I feel ashamed to say this but I can't PM you as you're anonymous. Please forgive me for saying this as its the sickest but the most common reason a husband spies on his wife when she is alone and especially in the bathroom. He thinks you are satisfying yourself!!
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...or the other way round if they are simply living together...crazy but possible :nervous:
and yeh i think ill post anon for this too
 
Are you two having marital relations? if not, that might be the reason why he's standing outside the bathroom door while you're taking a shower.

you should read the four Quls and try to fix your marital problems. your husband has rights on you (& u on him) and you both need to fulfill each other's rights. if you aren;t giving him his rights, then you are a sinner. if he isn;t giving you your rights, he;s a sinner.

if you don't love him or can't stand him and don't want to have marital relations with him, then divorce would be proper.
 
I may be the sinner, in fact yes I am and so is he, you can all hold that against me but its not as easy as some of you are making it out to be.
Its not as easy just to get up and make things work when you have had a lot of issues, and on top of things face of things like this, that altho to some of u they may not be relevant but to me, they mess with my head..

(orginal thread creator)

O And sorry to sound dim but i dont get what u mean by
...or the other way round if they are simply living together...crazy but possible
 
Presumably the idea of a husband satisfying himself whilst thinking about his wife is unacceptable in Islam?
What if the couple have no physical contact, and he is therefore denied sexual gratification?
 
AnonymousGender said:
I may be the sinner, in fact yes I am and so is he, you can all hold that against me but its not as easy as some of you are making it out to be.
Its not as easy just to get up and make things work when you have had a lot of issues, and on top of things face of things like this, that altho to some of u they may not be relevant but to me, they mess with my head..

(orginal thread creator)

O And sorry to sound dim but i dont get what u mean by
...or the other way round if they are simply living together...crazy but possible
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No, sis, no one is right to call you a sinner and I doubt they meant it in that way. Rather they were pointing out that it is a sin for spouses to deny each other their rights. But I agree with you, it's easier said than done and when the marriage is breaking down, the last thing spouses find easy to do is to fulfil each others right.

Your problems are not irrelevant. They are very real to you and affecting your marriage. If you find talking to your husband isn't working, can you get someone to intervene on your behalf? I pray Allah protects and preserves you both in your marriage. Ameen.




glo said:
Presumably the idea of a husband satisfying himself whilst thinking about his wife is unacceptable in Islam?
What if the couple have no physical contact, and he is therefore denied sexual gratification?
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No, is it allowed if there is fear that the husband may be tempted to commit adultery when they are away from each other etc.
 
i know this is probably a personal question but do you think there is any love there? you know what the wiser people say if theres no trust theres no love and i think people stay in a marriage because they fear Allah swt. they know divorce is hateful to Allah but Allah allowed divorce for many a reason...

if you can solve things, solve them with every possible way and anything you can think of but if that fails, no human can live like this and it would not be fair either if you have kids or if you decide to have kids in future..

not trusting somebody is painful especially your spouse not trusting you.. its the thing that really fuels anger and hate in a person
 
he states he 'loves me' alot more but i don't one of the many reasons being this, because the things he's done and this thing he keeps doing.
How can he say all these nice things to me and then spy or wateva it is day in day out..
If any one time I feel maybe i'm feeling something towards him, the next morning I see him do this and I'm back at square one.

The past few days I've been really depressed, and emotional and wanting to just be alone. As bad as it is sometimes, if death came to me, it couldnt be any sooner. I crave to be happy, to have kids, to love and fill my life with happiness, but its all seems so faint and distant.

With him doing these things I cannot trust him, nor can I get family involved as they will not go ahead with divorce or anything.. someones happiness will have to be given up, and its hurts to think it'l be my parents, but how can I live like this, i feel really stuck and at a dead. :cry:
 
i think you should tell him your feelings. he is highly insecure

i think its clear to see from what you have said shaytaan is playing horrible mind games with both of you. every married couple goes through this at some stage. i have heard these stories time and time again.

this is more evil playing with you then anything else

be constant in your prayers and hold tight to the rope of Allah sister.
 
AnonymousGender said:
he states he 'loves me' alot more but i don't one of the many reasons being this, because the things he's done and this thing he keeps doing.
How can he say all these nice things to me and then spy or wateva it is day in day out..
If any one time I feel maybe i'm feeling something towards him, the next morning I see him do this and I'm back at square one.

The past few days I've been really depressed, and emotional and wanting to just be alone. As bad as it is sometimes, if death came to me, it couldnt be any sooner. I crave to be happy, to have kids, to love and fill my life with happiness, but its all seems so faint and distant.

With him doing these things I cannot trust him, nor can I get family involved as they will not go ahead with divorce or anything.. someones happiness will have to be given up, and its hurts to think it'l be my parents, but how can I live like this, i feel really stuck and at a dead. :cry:
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regarding happiness:Allahu Alam but do you think your parents will be happy even knowing youre unhappy or are they happy with you happy?

and we all crave to be happy sister, life is full of struggles, sometimes you just have to let them be and be patient and hope for a way out. :(

and also, IS he spying on you or is it something else? you assuming wont help your marriage, it will only cause a bigger rift yet if you both talked inshaAllah atleast some things can be cleared?
may Allah make it easy for you and bless you both
 
a really weird thing happened today.. hes like clockwork when it comes to coming outside the bathroom, today was as any other day i saw the shadows etc and i continued with my bath, however then another family member knocked on the door to see who it was cos my sister had to be awake by a certain time.. anyways.. when i got out the bath the shadow was there... now it werent the family member because they went out to work. yet if it was 'him' standing there they would have seen him when they came knocking.. wouldn't they?
this is really freakin me out.. is there something else?
 
I think you dont love your husband anymore. That is why you guys ahve problems. As weird as it may sound but seems like he loves you and cares for you and therefore he's possessive about you.

I think you need your space and dont like his over emotional type things, if he didnt love you he'd have been doing really bad things outside marrage until now.

What you need is prayers . try and think of his good things hes done for you. Pray to Allah to put love and respect in your heearts for each other ( all the couples should do that anyway) and pray for Allah to remove bad thoughts from your mind.

Do not think about the bad things, dont even tink of the waswaas. Sataan is trying to seperate you two.

Recite as much Quran as you can every day even if it is half a page. Try and do your salat on time.

When I am not regular with my salat or miss one or due to some reason stop reciting the qran, it has a bad affect on my wordly relations, my mental state and my physical state. How could one disobey Allah;s commands and yet have a perfect life? Unless theya re disbelievers

As for someone else or someone readn something on you, recite the following surahs:

Al Falaq,
An Nas

Every day 3 times in the morning and 3 times before bedtime. And whenever you think of these things or you think its true. These two Surahs have the power to avert any negative "reading", Alhamdolillah.

I hope that helped :)

May Allah put love and respect in your hearts for each other and may you both live happily for all your lived together, ameen.
 
if all else fails try to read YA ALLAHU excessively throughout the day, it will get rid of suspicioun from your heart and maybe give u a clear head to think of what to do next.

Bismillah

Do you have some evidence from Quran or authentic hadith to support this piece of advice?
 
afg, the anonymous account can be used by anyone on the forum, that should clear up ur confusion.
 
AnonymousGender said:
a really weird thing happened today.. hes like clockwork when it comes to coming outside the bathroom, today was as any other day i saw the shadows etc and i continued with my bath, however then another family member knocked on the door to see who it was cos my sister had to be awake by a certain time.. anyways.. when i got out the bath the shadow was there... now it werent the family member because they went out to work. yet if it was 'him' standing there they would have seen him when they came knocking.. wouldn't they?
this is really freakin me out.. is there something else?
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so its NOT him? :hmm: or he was hiding? or what
 

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