Husband

if all else fails try to read YA ALLAHU excessively throughout the day, it will get rid of suspicioun from your heart and maybe give u a clear head to think of what to do next.

I mean im no marriage expert and forgive me for saying this but where is your marriage going at the moment? Try to sit down, stay calm but talk to him frankly about your future together. Marriage is supposed to be a blessing- not full of misery and obviously your not happy at the moment and u deserve to be so be honest with him and try to talk to him and if he doesnt want to listen or wants to argue instead then refuse to do so and ask for some time part so that u can both think.

Marriage can be extremely difficult without the added pressure and constant peeping in from others- I hope Allah makes it easy for u
 
He stands outside the bathroom door whilst you are taking a shower. And you suspect he's possibly filming/taking pictures? Doesn't your shower have drapery so no one can peek in?

I'm baffled. This is such an odd issue and I can't come up with what more he might do there. You really should ask him!
 
thanks sis penartist
i don't think anyone can peep in, i don't think he's filiming or anything..i have the shower curtain covering too... i don't no what to think,
the only way I found out was i dropped contact on floor and as i was looking.. im really blind, i was literally face next to floor, i looked under door gap and saw two feet, it is only him because no1 is awake in the house and when i finish my shower he's sat silently in the living room.. like hes been there all the time..
 
Ill be very honest with you- i used to always think that these old men from the mosque were all sort of the equivelant of 'islam police' who would judge me and tell me off if i ever approached them.

But once I did talk to them openly i not only found that i was able to share the goings on of my life with them but also that they werent at all judmental and were infact extremely understanding and crystal clear upon everything....to them it was the case of 'okay u dont want to do this? well islam doesnt say u dont have to so therefore don't ' and it was that simple!

Whereas i would have beent there thinking for months on end on what to do and what not to do but these people (the pious oldie goldies i call em :-) ) have so much wisdom and knowledge and they are able to guide and help using the teaching of islam...
 
Geez this guy kinda sounds creepy with your account of the two feet underneath the door narrative....sorry sorry i know he's your husband but obviously not a very good one if he's going saround doing wierd things like that.

I would follow Alpha Dudes advice- read as much as possible, it will protect u for while u investigate whats going on.

Wouldnt it be great if u we could mind read?
 
Hmm... don't mean to sound rude, but does he have trust issues?

I know someone who used to do something quite similar, n it was because he was convinced his wife was talking to another man behind his back (she wasn't, he was just insane).

I mean, you say you've had major problems, could it be related to that?
 
if he thinks that.. why do it everyday? he don't say anything but before has been very insecure, i wasnt even allowed to relative cos of 1 guy.. at work he'd always call me up to see what i am doing, and then if he heard a male voice, it'd be like whos that what they sayin..


if he is still insecure then why does he do this, yet when he speak to me say he wants us to be happy and like he'd do the world for me..
 
penartist said:
I thought that you meant that he went downstairs and outside too..its not clear in the original thread that u meant outside the bathroom door.

Well right now my heads coming up with some proper wierd ideas like putting a camera up on him..lol i know i know its ridiculous theres so many issues of making it discreet- maybe ive read too many dectective stories.

OR could u not ask someone to stay over like a friend or family member- someone who u really trust and ask them to keep an eye on him when u go for your shower??

OR change the times u have a shower so that u may have it morning one day, evening one day and maybe at midnight another- ( a little far fetched i know-) BUT if he comes running then to stand outside the door then you'll know for certain that somethings wrong.

Try talking to someone at the mosque they might be able to advice u better...and IF someone is reading something on you then there may be ways to neutralise it so that it has no effect upon u.

Hope that helps and good luck
May Allah give u peace and happiness
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NO NO NO NO this is a major sin for a wife to spy on her husband, Allah will hold you to account for it if you got nothing on him and if he finds out, it will make it all the worse.. this is what shaytaan wants and how he accomplishes divorce between man and wife.. don't listen to this advice! i think people don't realise it is actually a major sin to spy

if you really believe he is doing something wrong sister.. ask Allahswt to give you clear signs. do your 5times prayers. seek protection from the jinn by reciting holy qur'an during the day for an hour or 2. and HAVE TRUST IN ALLAH.

If this thing is really eating you up inside just confront him about it and ask why do you stand outside.. and you know that he is because you saw his feet. btw that use to happen to me before i use to hear noises outside when i was lying in the bath tub but nobody was in the home. so it can be the jinn also playing with your mind
 
ok i get the whole spying thing is wrong and yes dont follow that advice but seeking advice from someone educated is no sin....(btw i meant as in someone from the Mosque)

Dude your husband sounds like he's very insecure- just sit and talk to him, as hard is that might be your best off doing that, at least that way all suspicions will be eliminated from your mind.
 
if he thinks that.. why do it everyday? he don't say anything but before has been very insecure, i wasnt even allowed to relative cos of 1 guy.. at work he'd always call me up to see what i am doing, and then if he heard a male voice, it'd be like whos that what they sayin..


if he is still insecure then why does he do this, yet when he speak to me say he wants us to be happy and like he'd do the world for me..
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He doesn't want you to know about his insecurities?

Do you two ever talk to each other about your worries?
 
^ he might be suspecting that you call someone when you are in the bathroom, so may be thats why he was there trying to listen if you are doing something other than taking bath, does that make sense?
 
Please talk to him and get the tensions cleared sis , or else the suspicion might further increase and spiral to huge problems
 
^
I agree.

Greetings, anon

If you husband wants your happiness and well-being - as you say he does - he would probably be horrified if he knew how much you have worried about his behaviour.

There may be a perfectly explanation for his behaviour, and you have worried for weeks or months about nothing.

Go and ask you husband, anon!
 
:sl:
AnonymousGender said:
if he thinks that.. why do it everyday? he don't say anything but before has been very insecure, i wasnt even allowed to relative cos of 1 guy.. at work he'd always call me up to see what i am doing, and then if he heard a male voice, it'd be like whos that what they sayin..


if he is still insecure then why does he do this, yet when he speak to me say he wants us to be happy and like he'd do the world for me..
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you need to talk/give dawah to your husband about suspicion. he does seem to have trust issues. you need to tell him to trust you as it upsets you.
maybe he has heard baseless gossip from somewhere that you need to clear up :( just sit and have a talk with him and try to get to the bottom of it. dont be direct as you have done before, but rather be "sly" and ask and talk to him indirectly so that inshallah it can lead him to opneing up, not denying it :)

you need to also sort out your marriage issues as they seem to be getting out of hand.
 
It look like that this is unIslamic way (spying, watching your back, improper behavior, insecurities, etc). It is really wasting times, just talk with him in person and get over with it.
:exhausted
 
glo said:
^
I agree.

Greetings, anon

If you husband wants your happiness and well-being - as you say he does - he would probably be horrified if he knew how much you have worried about his behaviour.

There may be a perfectly explanation for his behaviour, and you have worried for weeks or months about nothing.

Go and ask you husband, anon!
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exactly, don't make it into more than it is, for all you know he misses you when you shower or something..
no really, just have a long 'honest' talk, spill the beans, or the sprouts, whichever it was, just don't get hung up on a minor detail.

instead of suffering in silence, why not go-both of you-to a marriage counselor and so on? it should help a lot.
 

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