I got rejected....my heart never learns.....I feel awful.....

[Mustafa16]

No...

It's something else entirely.

Whether the stories about them is true or not is a mystery. The real name of Majnoon was Qays ibn al-Mulawwih. He was called "Majnoon" which means "a mad man", because his love for her was so much, he lost his mind. Now, there are differing reports about why they were not able to get married: some say it's because he was a prince and she was a slave, others say it's because she was a princess and he was a pauper and a nobody. The custom in those days was to only marry someone on the same social standing as yourself. There is more evidence to show that he was the prince and she was a slave and thus his family prevented him from marrying her, despite the fact that they were childhood friends.

When Layla passed away, Majnoon used to wander the streets of the neighbourhood wherein she lived. He used to say that he loved her so much, he even loved the dogs in the neighbourhood she lived in. He used to hold on to the walls of her house because it reminded him of her. He loved the street she used to walk on.

One day, the ruler at the time came to hear about Majnoon's extreme love for Layla, and so he thought she must be an extremely beautiful woman. He summoned her to his palace. When she arrived, he saw that she was extremely dark and had no attractive features whatsoever. He asked her, "What on earth does Majnoon see in you?" She replied, "O king, you are seeing me through your eyes, so you cannot see the attraction. You have to see me through the eyes of Majnoon..."

interesting story..... I sure hope I don't end up like that....I hope I end up marrying this girl and being with her until the end of eternity....but what do I know....I'm just a hormonally imbalanced teenager, so it could be the lust talking.....but have you all considered that I have a desire for someone to be vulnerable with and reveal my sensitive side to, and not just someone to have intercourse with? (excuse my language)

 

[Scimitar]

*cough, well now that's established,

find an hobby

Scimi

 

[Mustafa16]

In real life, I am a clown and a jokester.......but that is the hide the hole in my heart, and my lonliness......the fact that the only being I have in all of existence is Allah swt.....that I have no one, NO ONE! the fact that i turn towards imaginary friends.....imaginary conversations....and online forums.....I want someone who I can reveal my true side to, who I can be sensitive and loving towards, who I can spend time with and be a partner in life and managing a household, so that at the end of the day I can say, "me and my wife are a team, and we are soulmates" EDIT: btw, for those of you don't know, the reason I am alone is because I have autism and social phobia and anxiety

 

[Mustafa16]

I have no friends whatsoever.....no girlfriend/wife, no parents to turn to for advice....no big siblings to look up to (I have a big sister but we aren't close, and completely different) no younger sibling to befriend (he hates my guts and our relationship is broken beyond repair), no relatives to turn to....just my toy dog "Wrinkle" I had since I was 3 or 4.

 

[Little_Lion]

You will see that when you get to university, insha'Allah it will be easier for you. People are much more accepting and understanding of people with mental difficulties, and you will be so busy with your classes and, hopefully, good friends that you will not be as worried about women. Insha'Allah you have many years before you to find a good wife, the true soul mate for whom you search.

(And do not feel bad about toy dogs, I'm 43 and still sleep with a plush animal every night. )

 

[Mustafa16]

You will see that when you get to university, insha'Allah it will be easier for you. People are much more accepting and understanding of people with mental difficulties, and you will be so busy with your classes and, hopefully, good friends that you will not be as worried about women. Insha'Allah you have many years before you to find a good wife, the true soul mate for whom you search.

(And do not feel bad about toy dogs, I'm 43 and still sleep with a plush animal every night. )

thank you, jazakallaha khair sister, inshaAllah, like you said, things will get better when I go to college.... and I'm glad to know I'm not the only one.....

 

[sister herb]

also, isn't it the Muslim version of "Romeo and Juliet"?

You should say that Romeo and Juliet is the European version of Layla and Majnoon.

 

[sister herb]

I am currently 17, and I told a 12 year old girl I've liked for years now that I like her, and she rejected me. I was at a Turkish festival, and I told her I had to tell her something, and her friends told me to say it in front of them....I told her I had a crush on her, and she politely turned me down by saying she already liked someone else, and that I was much older than her......so I walked away....at first, I felt relieved that I was able to get it off my chest.... and much later, I told her, first in Turkish, then in English, "maybe when you're older" before winking......I wish I was ashamed of myself because dating and casual romance is haram, but I'm sad to say it's hard to feel bad about that when I feel so sorry for myself....my heart never learns from my brain or from my religion, and I feel awful.....what should I do?

"Maybe when you are older" means minimum 8 years. As you seem to infatuate some new one every the third day, what if she would said yes to you? Would you have enough patience to be faithful to those next 8 years and wait she will be enough old to marry her? This is what makes one difference between infatuation and real love: patience, faithfulness and being serious. But when person is just only 12 years old, she will change a lot during the years of pubertity. 12 years old is still as a child who rarely could make kind of decisions which will have a big affect to hers future life.

 

[eesa the kiwi]

You should say that Romeo and Juliet is the European version of Layla and Majnoon.

doesnt majnoon mean crazy in arabic?

 

[sister herb]

Basicly yes. Also as "possessed". From the original story, he lost his sense because he felt in love too deeply for someone he couldn´t get. The story teaches how danger it might be to fall in love romanticly and forget realities of life.

We should remember it too and don´t madly fall in love to every lovely faces we see. Better to lower the gaze and behave modestly.

 

[Serinity]

I learnt something new yesterday, infatuation can be a curse. The Infatuation that brings weakness.

that which enslaves the heart to a human, you then chain your heart.. and you become prey to your crushes. It might even turn to shirk where on is basically "worshipping" his wife/crush.

may Allah :swt: protect us from falling into every kind and any kind of shirk. Ameen.

And Allah :swt: knows best.

 

[زهراء]

@ Mustafa16 Brother, very often youth think that they know everything. One year makes such a big difference in these sensitive years- that the wisdom behind the advice given is only actually understood a few months, if not years, later.

How about changing your mindset and looking at your situation from a different angle. You are seeking a companion and someone to validate and accept you. You want to be able to have someone to share everything with.

You have two choices:
1) The Halaal way
2) The Haraam way

Let's go the Halaal way. This means:
* No looking around for any girl of whatever age whether you knew her before, for how ever many years it may be, or not.
* No dreaming of marriage and fantasising. Make sure you focus your mind on something else every single time. Every time you leave a sin just for the pleasure of Allah make a Du'aa from your heart for something that you really want! Let it not be for a girl only.
* No speaking about it, because speaking about things like this will only make your desires more!

Channel your mind into understanding what marriage is about. It requires life-long dedication and responsibility. Tell yourself: "In these days while I am in my youth, I will become the best person that I can and the girl that will one day be my wife Insha Allah is also becoming the best person she can-so that one day when we are destined to be together, we will be the best for each other"

This means:
* You need to make an effort and have an idea of how you will support her one day. Be serious with your studies. Yes, Rizq is from Allah but make some
effort too.
* Learn to recite the Qur'aan correctly-if you haven't yet done that- because when you sit beside your wife, then you can teach and correct her too and when your young child comes to you and says: "Daddy! teach me", then you can do so easily and in a way that is befitting.
The same with learning the laws of Shari'ah-atleast be familiar with everyday laws that apply to you.
* Start caring about others from now. Mend the relationship between your family members. If you don't do so now, then when you have issues with your spouse you won't have the know-how of solving and dealing with it.
* Allah has gifted every person with a talent. Find yours. Take advantage of it and benefit yourself and others from it.
* Give off in your community. How good will you feel if you join a charitable group, and you have the opportunity to help the old or give a little child a sweet and then watch how his/her face lights up?!

Understand that life is not only about marriage. That shouldn't be your goal. By making it your goal you will feel like a failure because if it isn't written for you to be married now you certainly WILL NOT BE MARRIED NOW.
So instead of sitting around and thinking about these things, do something with your valuable time.
Wouldn't you want to be under the shade of Allah on the Day of Qiyaamah because you spent your youth in the obedience of Allah?

Also, when life gets tough and you "can't take it any longer", let it out! Exercise, in whatever form, helps a great deal! Do it regularly-you won't even have a build up if emotions that you can't handle.

Lastly- Allah created you. He knows you best and He alone knows what is best for you. He is The Most-Powerful. So ask Allah whenever you need something! Make this a habit and you will not feel the need to ask people.

We're here waiting to see you become the best you can and striving hard with regards to things that will benefit your Dunya and Aakhirah. You can do it! You just have to try!

 

[Huzaifah ibn Adam]

Excellent advice.