Assalam o Alaikum rahamutullahi wa barakuthu.
Yet again, shaitan is toying with you.
Please reflect on this Quranic verse about desire.
Have you seen he who has taken as his god his [own] desire, (Surah 45:23)
You have learnt the lessons. Be indepedent and don't make yourself slave to woman. Be slave of your Creator.
Also think about two people as reported in hadith.
Narrated Ibn `Abbas:
Barira's husband was a slave called Mughith, as if I am seeing him now, going behind Barira and weeping with his tears flowing down his beard. The Prophet (ﷺ) said to `Abbas, "O `Abbas ! are you not astonished at the love of Mughith for Barira and the hatred of Barira for Mughith?" The Prophet (ﷺ) then said to Barira, "Why don't you return to him?" She said, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! Do you order me to do so?" He said, "No, I only intercede for him." She said, "I am not in need of him."
حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدٌ، أَخْبَرَنَا عَبْدُ الْوَهَّابِ، حَدَّثَنَا خَالِدٌ، عَنْ عِكْرِمَةَ، عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ، أَنَّ زَوْجَ، بَرِيرَةَ كَانَ عَبْدًا يُقَالُ لَهُ مُغِيثٌ كَأَنِّي أَنْظُرُ إِلَيْهِ يَطُوفُ خَلْفَهَا يَبْكِي، وَدُمُوعُهُ تَسِيلُ عَلَى لِحْيَتِهِ، فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم لِعَبَّاسٍ " يَا عَبَّاسُ أَلاَ تَعْجَبُ مِنْ حُبِّ مُغِيثٍ بَرِيرَةَ، وَمِنْ بُغْضِ بَرِيرَةَ مُغِيثًا ". فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم " لَوْ رَاجَعْتِهِ ". قَالَتْ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ تَأْمُرُنِي قَالَ " إِنَّمَا أَنَا أَشْفَعُ ". قَالَتْ لاَ حَاجَةَ لِي فِيهِ.
[TABLE="class: hadith_reference"]
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[TD]Reference[/TD]
[TD] : Sahih al-Bukhari 5283[/TD]
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Allah knows best, the hadith above meant that feeling obessesed and extremely loved with each other is very dangerous that it can even lead to depression, anxiety, and other mental problems, which affects our worship..
We should love Allah more than anything. Allah cares, provides, and looks after His slaves. Think about whatever you had, and that they are from Allah, the Most Gracious and Genrous.
JazakAllah khair