Is it ok to reject a man's proposal due to low income job?

EgyptPrincess said:
Thanks for your post brother Saleem. £50,000 isn't THAT much especially when you consider that rent is £2800 a month. Anyway I was just using that as an average. It's not really being a gold digger because if through no fault of your parents, you're used to having a little bit of money and buying nice things and live in a nice home etc then when you meet someone you kind of want to still be able to have that style of living right?

I really don't mean to come across as being a gold digger lol this is not my intention.
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Maybe you're from London. Living costs are probably very high. Where I'm from rent isn't that much. When my family puts houses out to rent we don't charge more than £500 a month. That's for a four bedroom house.

Anyway like I said depends on your background and living standards. If your family is living that type of life then its sensible to marry a husband that's compatible. But it shouldn't be becuase you left a job for £50,000 now he must make up for it. My point was that some girls come from normal backgrounds and dream of glamourous lifestyles and expect the husband to work day and night to keep up with shopping addictions.

Also remember that things could change if he loses his job etc. You jave to be ready for hard times also. If he loses his job, out goes the new car and shoes. There have been many unfortunate cases.

Anyway my point is your main focus should be deen. The fact that he earns 50,000 should be a secondary requirement.

Just as Nabi (saw) mentioned.

You asked if it's 'wrong' well it's not wrong its just that from our experience most marriage problems that come to us is due to terrible akhlaaq and lack of deen not lack of money. Just something to think about.

Clarification

It is important to remember that it is the right of the wife that the husband provides for her food, shelter etc. The wife shouldn't have to work the male is the sole provider of the house. If she is working the man isn't fulfilling his responsibility.

Just in case my last answer may have given the wrong impression.
 
Assalamualykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuhu.

In principle, Islam encourages that a women gets married in kufu. Kufu simply means she should marry a person who is of a similar standard as she is in beauty, deen, wealth etc.

If the lady is ready to forgo and make the sacrifice, then that shouldn't be a problem as wealth is not a criterion to a happy marriage nor is it permanent. Perhaps he has the means today and tomorrow he doesn't.

However if she is uncomfortable marrying somebody who earns less then her and she feels it might have negative effects on her marriage at a later stage, she should not be forced into the marriage.

Jazakallah khair

Request duaas
 
No offence but 2800£ is a lot. Considering that you probably earn 4200 a month or so. you will have 1400 left. Is that after the rent, food, etc.? If so having 1400£ to buy whatever you want is quite a lot.

Depends where you live tho.
 
Also you are 17.... There's no way you are even earning 50k to begin with. This has now become a silly thread.
 
Ahh a welcome return..

Don't settle for less.

Especially in a world where everyone wants more for less.

..yes, everyone.

Yeeeess.. everyone.

But seriously. Everyone.

..maybe your not worth it?

Maybe they send you away yelling please.. no more!

Enough is enough.
 
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Serinity said:
What about earning 2 million dollars anually? LOL.
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Yeah what if he doesn't have a job.... but he just sells and buys and works from home? or he just has money rolling in from his properties :D
Jobs? who has them now? ;D
 
Saleem Khan said:
Maybe you're from London. Living costs are probably very high. Where I'm from rent isn't that much. When my family puts houses out to rent we don't charge more than £500 a month. That's for a four bedroom house.

Anyway like I said depends on your background and living standards. If your family is living that type of life then its sensible to marry a husband that's compatible. But it shouldn't be becuase you left a job for £50,000 now he must make up for it. My point was that some girls come from normal backgrounds and dream of glamourous lifestyles and expect the husband to work day and night to keep up with shopping addictions.

Also remember that things could change if he loses his job etc. You jave to be ready for hard times also. If he loses his job, out goes the new car and shoes. There have been many unfortunate cases.

Anyway my point is your main focus should be deen. The fact that he earns 50,000 should be a secondary requirement.

Just as Nabi (saw) mentioned.

You asked if it's 'wrong' well it's not wrong its just that from our experience most marriage problems that come to us is due to terrible akhlaaq and lack of deen not lack of money. Just something to think about.

Clarification

It is important to remember that it is the right of the wife that the husband provides for her food, shelter etc. The wife shouldn't have to work the male is the sole provider of the house. If she is working the man isn't fulfilling his responsibility.

Just in case my last answer may have given the wrong impression.
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Yes brother I know money is not the most important thing I just wanted to know if it was legitimate to reject marriage based on this factor.



Serinity said:
No offence but 2800£ is a lot. Considering that you probably earn 4200 a month or so. you will have 1400 left. Is that after the rent, food, etc.? If so having 1400£ to buy whatever you want is quite a lot.

Depends where you live tho.
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London is very expensive and if I married this is where I want to remain therefore the person I married should be able to afford the rent in this area.


Bhabha said:
Also you are 17.... There's no way you are even earning 50k to begin with. This has now become a silly thread.
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I never said I earned £50,000 did I? I gave a hypothetical... I don't even have a job as you said I am 17 so don't put words in my mouth and jump to conclusions thank you very much.

And fyi the average salary in London is £48,000 so £50,000 really is not unreasonable to expect from someone who works in London so get off my back.
 
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EgyptPrincess said:
I never said I earned £50,000 did I? I gave a hypothetical... I don't even have a job as you said I am 17 so don't put words in my mouth and jump to conclusions thank you very much.

And fyi the average salary in London is £48,000 so £50,000 really is not unreasonable to expect from someone who works in London so get off my back.
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That came out highly defensive, I wasn't trying to attack you.. or get on your back lol.

Btw, You also just stated that the "average" person earns a salary of 48k to 50k so why worry about a hypothetical situation if the average person is earning that in London to begin with? it means anyone who proposes should be earning that much, correct? I'll skedaddle now. :statisfie
 
Bhabha said:
That came out highly defensive, I wasn't trying to attack you.. or get on your back lol.

Btw, You also just stated that the "average" person earns a salary of 48k to 50k so why worry about a hypothetical situation if the average person is earning that in London to begin with? it means anyone who proposes should be earning that much, correct? I'll skedaddle now. :statisfie
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No... the average salary is £48,000. A man who works in London might only earn £25,000 or £30,000 or someone else might earn £70,000 so obviously there is a chance a man may approach you for marriage but his salary could be low. If one works in London it does not necessarily mean one lives in London also. So I was saying that for me personally I would not want to move from London... I'm sure there are plenty of people who don't want to move when they marry.

P.S sorry for being aggressive.
 
EgyptPrincess said:
No... the average salary is £48,000. A man who works in London might only earn £25,000 or £30,000 or someone else might earn £70,000 so obviously there is a chance a man may approach you for marriage but his salary could be low. If one works in London it does not necessarily mean one lives in London also. So I was saying that for me personally I would not want to move from London... I'm sure there are plenty of people who don't want to move when they marry.

P.S sorry for being aggressive.
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Moving is great! Also why pay allegiance to a city that was built on slave labor? and the pillaging of....many people, colonization of countries... specially Egypt.... don't be tied to one place, ^__^; :hiding:
 
Bhabha said:
Moving is great! Also why pay allegiance to a city that was built on slave labor? and the pillaging of....many people, colonization of countries... specially Egypt.... don't be tied to one place, ^__^; :hiding:
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err hello? It's London lol. I love it here. I'm not going to hold a city responsible for slave labour and pillaging that happened hundreds of years ago. That'd be like not living in Germany because it once was ruled by Nazis or not living in America because they also had slaves...
 
EgyptPrincess said:
err hello? It's London lol. I love it here. I'm not going to hold a city responsible for slave labour and pillaging that happened hundreds of years ago. That'd be like not living in Germany because it once was ruled by Nazis or not living in America because they also had slaves...
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Why not Australia?
They never had nazis or slaves.
only kangaroos.

Lol.

actually don't do Australia
everything in Australia is deadly/poisonous/trying to kill you/Russell Crowe

https://www.buzzfeed.com/simoncrerar/pictures-that-prove-australia-is-the-craziest

https://www.thrillist.com/travel/na...ll-kill-you-animals-that-will-try-to-kill-you
 
Australia looks like a lovely place to visit but I don't think I'd like to live there... It's very hot and I'd really prefer not to die by spider or snake bite ;D

The only city I can think of that is comparable to London is New York but I've never been. Dubai looks crazy awesome too. See this is why I want a husband with a decent income so we can see these places :statisfie
 
EgyptPrincess said:
Australia looks like a lovely place to visit but I don't think I'd like to live there... It's very hot and I'd really prefer not to die by spider or snake bite ;D

The only city I can think of that is comparable to London is New York but I've never been. Dubai looks crazy awesome too. See this is why I want a husband with a decent income so we can see these places :statisfie
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LA all the way.
West coast is the best coast.

jkk
 
:salam:

To answer your question - yes it is, afaik, to refuse a proposal because of his deen (low level in deen) money, looks, wealth, character, etc.

Deen and character should be priority. But yeah,you can refuse because of wealth..

Please forgive me if I said anything wrong. May Allah SWT protect us and forgive us all for erring. Ameen.
May Allah SWT forgive me if I said anything wrong. Ameen.

And Allah SWT knows best.
 

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