Is there anything good about being single?

[S_87]

Read their biographies and their works and you will understand. I'm no preacher. There is no way I can explain this to you without you knowing who and what they are.

sure id be glad if u can direct me to their biographies.
and again i would like to say, my comment was based on what you said about marriage being a constraint...not about these peoples lives

 

[Pomak]

sure id be glad if u can direct me to their biographies.
and again i would like to say, my comment was based on what you said about marriage being a constraint...not about these peoples lives

http://www.witness-pioneer.org/vil/Books/SV_Nursi/Default.htm

 

[Najm]

WalaikumAsSalam WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Only because usually those that really want to get married spend their single days wishing they were married and not getting themselves ready for things that come after it. If people educated themselves about marriage, from an Islamic perspective and from other variant perspectives as well such as psychological etc, as they would for any other thing in life, they can make it work out very well.

So it's how you utilize your time that can make it good or bad. If you spend your single days moping about how you're not married and aren't doing anything about it, then you're going to be very miserable. However, if you spent that time using your desire for marriage and companionship into proactively learning about marriage and training yourself for it, it's going to get good now and down the line Insha'Allaah. Personally, I hate being single, but I try not to let that get into the way of me doing things that I need to do and working my way towards a married life.

Excellent Answer!! On the bold writings.....say someone does all that, then don't you think they will expect so much from the marriage and get so less?? :-[

What does one need to do, as a process from being single to mariage life? And to enjoy both phases of life?. :-[

yeah you can eat sleep etc when you want ...

wa/salam

^o) You can do that anyway, read opening post again....

A great deal, most of which you don't appreciate until you no longer are!

The main one is freedom, the ability to do what you want when you want, and have the time to do it. You just can't do that when you are married. Don't get me wrong, it's a freedom you voluntarily give up in favour of responsibility, mutual respect, partnership and (hopefully) increased happiness. My point is just enjoy it when you can; you will miss it from time to time no matter how much you love your wife!

Peace....
Good point, about freedom and enjoyment. But i dont see how marriage can restict someone sooooo much. People have responsibility when they are single too, yes its a different kind but nevertheless. I am sure you can enjoy with your spouse too, if you get the right one. How much freedom does one want?

Peace...

if you cant do that after marriage i aint getting married


lol just fish off

Yeah you get me

• Your life is your own.
• Your time is your own.
• You can dedicate a bit more time to your ibadah that you would otherwise give to your spouse, his/her family, and his/her friends. (I know, marriage is ibadah too, but you'll miss being able to read 1 juz or whatever a day when you're married.)
• You don't have to be responsible for another individual's needs and feelings at least 50% of the time.
• You can eat what you want every single day of the week, never wondering, "Hmmmm, what would he/she like for breakfast, lunch and dinner?"
• You can do your laundry when you need it done, not when he/she does.
• You can leave your dirty socks lying in a pile by the side of your bed without knowing your husband/wife thinks you're so gross.
• You can wear that ratty old flannel shirt to bed without your wife/husband saying, "Honey, here's the credit card, go buy nicer sleepwear."
• Et cetera ad nauseum.

Sure, this all sounds like stuff you don't need...but when you're married, you just might miss it. So, close your eyes and imagine how life will really change when you're married and you just might find the good parts of being single.

Excellent advise! Nevertheless some you can do while your married such point numbers 3, 5,6,7,8! Just cause your single it doesnt mean you shuould have dirty socks lying around, laundry etc! Not being able to read 1 juzz is an excuse! Most of these points are workable during married life, and its not that restrictive, as you think!

Lets hear more advantages of being single!!

FiAmaaniAllah!

 

[Najm]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

I think that there are things we can do in our singledom which we cannot do during marriage. Especially with refence to things involving our deen and Iman.

Whilst you are single, you are supposed to grow spiritually, as much as you can and do dawah and just seek knowledge etc.

After you are married, you are restricted in many ways. Family life takes a toll on you and you work out new ways to grow spiritually etc. Serving your family becomes a way of expressive your love and respect for you deen etc.

So the best of both worlds is what you should be looking for, bro.

On a practical level, both are hard and easy. It is all about getting to know yourself in relation to yourself and then getting to know yourself in relation to living with your partner. You are, essentially, a whole new person. While you are single you might hate being alone. Then when you get married, you might pray for a lonely minute. So are you a person who likes or dislikes alone time? Both. Two different people in two different worlds.

Wasalaam.

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

:blind:I feel a bit confused. I understand that we should get the best of both worlds. But you havent really mentioned what is best about being single. Please comment further on the first part:-[

When you single dont you have responisibiliyt given by you parents, i.e. looking after them or extra? <<< And cant that restrict someone ? I know some people are resticted, by the parents, but after mariage they are not. Just a reminder to stay on topic please

Its hard being single, you want to share your joy and sadness with someone , with my case just having someone to talk to.

When Getting married , you now have to take someone else's feelings into consideration.
Its a life changing thing for most of us. You cant do as you please all the time,
you cant meet up with the boys when you want and come home when you like.

Like now for example , im in my room with the light on, on L.I. if i were married i would have to think oh my wifes asleep, i dont want to disturb her .

If my wife were to follow my routine day in day out, she would get very bored.

My room is a mess, my wardrobe is my floor , theres so many sweet wrappers in the bin,
socks on the floor, man im gonna miss these days.


someone said to me when you getting married, just to get the laugh i said the washing machine aint broke yet.LOL

Interesting post, i just dont understand, as a single person you cant clean your own room. I dont see why you should be messy in the first place. Please do clean the room.

And when you do get married, i dont expect you spouse to clean after your droppings ( no pun intended)
AI dont see why you should be disturbing the wife, while sees a sleep, you want her to look beautiful right?

Dont bore your wife everm and Just find a different room for LI.

So is there anything really good about being single?

I always have this image of im making my wife happy everyday , making her laugh and joke, everythinh cushy, but i doubt marriage will be like that everyday,

Because im not in a positon to get married, have to most likely wait post 30, it makes me value it even more,

Alhamdulillah, its really up to you if you want to keep your wife happy everyday

:salamext:

I agree with Abu Sayyad wholeheartedly, on every point.



:wasalamex

I really don't see why you can't read even more than 1 juz a day when you're married. If people blame this on marriage, they're really just looking for excuses. I think we should start to wonder what's wrong with our marriages, if we are distracting each other to the extent that we don't even have time to read the book of Allaah. Just my two cents.

Alhamdulillah. I agree too. Uhkti, for yourself, is there anything you miss from being single :-[

FiAmaaniAllah

 

[muslim sister)]

This depends on the individual I guess but I want to marry, im tired of being single

imsad

Same here,maybe after marriage I will miss my singe days but for now I wish I would miss my single days

 

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

Alhamdulillah. I agree too. Uhkti, for yourself, is there anything you miss from being single :-[

FiAmaaniAllah

:salamext:

Well, I don't see my friends as often, as I've moved quite far away from them. But I gained a much better companion in return, wal-Hamdulillaah. Apart from that, there isn't anything else I miss.

 

[Najm]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

:wasalamex

there would be alot no doubt about it, but at the same time, there are negatives about it, as well. So, i think both marriage and single life have their equal negatives and positives.
i say whether or not there is good to being single, if you have found the right person, and you feel ready for marriage, etc, then go for it, and don't waste time, right?


i get what you mean. for me personally, marriage scares me a little, and to be honest, i dont see what the hype is in getting married. i mean its sweet and cute, etc, don't get me wrong. but there is also a responsibly which for some reason people seem to ignore, and hence have this whole rosy/fairy tale, out of touch with reality idea of it. i dont mean to sound negative or rude or anything, but alot of people don't seem to approach the whole idea of marriage in a balanced way, imo. and i think that's were all the "hype" comes from...i mean, its important to know that when you get married, its not all going to be "happy days" right?





agreed...

JazakiAllah Khair for your reply. So what are some of negatives and positives about marriage?:-[ Sometimes the right person, may have the wrong families, i.e. like the spouses are cool with each other but parents are not or in the parents eyes theres always someone better :blind:etc...thats a different topic, lol i think im so against parents thinking they are right, maybe another thread? :-[ But no, i woundnt waste time at all

I understand about the hype. I think it kinda builds up over the years of being single, and the excitement gets high. Marriage has good and bad days, but its really how spouses deal with that, and like have they set their structure of living together etc. Marriage should be balance Alhamdulillah .

Both being single and being married have advantages and disadvantages.
The only way we can be truly happy is to love the stage of life we're currently experiencing.
You spend your single life wishing you were married, then when you get married, when the first couple of lovey dovey months are over, you start missing being single and independent.

Each part of your life is different, has different pleasures, different responsibilities, different disadvantages. But we have to live through every single one of those stages. If we're constantly rushing ahead to the next stage, or longing for the previous stage, you can never fully experience and live the stage you're currently at.

When you're a kid, enjoy being a kid, and live that stage of your life.
When you're an adult, enjoy being an adult, and live that stage of your life.

When you don't have a job, not having one, and live that stage of your life.
When you have a job, enjoy having one, and live that stage of your life.

When you're single, enjoy being single, and live that stage of your life.
When you're married, enjoy being married, and live that stage of your life.

The same reasoning can be applied to every single aspect of life. One stage isn't better or worse than the other, it's simply different.
I hope my ramblings made some sense to someone other than me..

Excellent post!! It made some sense, and i like it.....Love every stage!! So would you like to tell me some pros and cons???

Love can be sustained, if spouses do it properly from the start.

Narrated Anas bin Malik: A group of three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet asking how the Prophet worshipped (Allah), and when they were informed about that, they considered their worship insufficient and said, "Where are we from the Prophet as his past and future sins have been forgiven."
Then one of them said, "I will offer the prayer throughout the night forever." The other said, "I will fast throughout the year and will not break my fast." The third said, "I will keep away from the women and will not marry forever." Allah's Apostle came to them and said, "Are you the same people who said so-and-so? By Allah, I am more submissive to Allah and more afraid of Him than you; yet I fast and break my fast, I do sleep and I also marry women. So he who does not follow my tradition in religion, is not from me (not one of my followers)."
Bukhari

Nice Hadith, i will always be pro-marriage. I'll keep that in mind inshaAllah.Any comment on the opening post? :-[

JazakAllah Khair for all your reponses, most appreciated.

FiAmaaniAllah.

 

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

I really don't see why you can't read even more than 1 juz a day when you're married. If people blame this on marriage, they're really just looking for excuses. I think we should start to wonder what's wrong with our marriages, if we are distracting each other to the extent that we don't even have time to read the book of Allaah. Just my two cents.

Agreed. I'm not too sure of this, but to build on your point, isn't being married and fulfilling your responsibilities going to bear a higher ajr than reciting a Juz or two of Qur'aan? Because, reciting Qur'an only benefits yourself, whereas in marriage you're benefiting yourself, your spouse and society? You'd be establishing a family and raising Muslims on the methadology of the Prophet (salalahu 'alayhi wa sallam), so naturally the ajr is greater taking into account how marriage is half of the religion?

Both being single and being married have advantages and disadvantages.
The only way we can be truly happy is to love the stage of life we're currently experiencing.
You spend your single life wishing you were married, then when you get married, when the first couple of lovey dovey months are over, you start missing being single and independent.

Each part of your life is different, has different pleasures, different responsibilities, different disadvantages. But we have to live through every single one of those stages. If we're constantly rushing ahead to the next stage, or longing for the previous stage, you can never fully experience and live the stage you're currently at.

When you're a kid, enjoy being a kid, and live that stage of your life.
When you're an adult, enjoy being an adult, and live that stage of your life.

When you don't have a job, not having one, and live that stage of your life.
When you have a job, enjoy having one, and live that stage of your life.

When you're single, enjoy being single, and live that stage of your life.
When you're married, enjoy being married, and live that stage of your life.

The same reasoning can be applied to every single aspect of life. One stage isn't better or worse than the other, it's simply different.
I hope my ramblings made some sense to someone other than me..

Great perspective, indeed there is happiness in being content.

This depends on the individual I guess but I want to marry, im tired of being single

imsad

May Allaah make it easy for you and for us.

WalaikumAsSalam WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Excellent Answer!! On the bold writings.....say someone does all that, then don't you think they will expect so much from the marriage and get so less?? :-[

:wasalamex

No, because educating yourself about marriage isn't just about how to deal w/ your spouse, it's wider than that; one of the most crucial lessons I've learned in my research about marriage is that as a spouse, you should never ever look at your rights in the relationship and wait for them to be fulfilled, i.e. don't 'expect' any special treatment, rather you have to focus on your obligations and work hard in fulfilling that, so when you get something like say a gift or extra nice treatment from your spouse, you weren't expecting it and you value it a lot more. As Muslims we don't expect anything from any of the creation, rather we expect and place our hopes and reliance on Allaah alone, and this applies in marriage just as it does in any other aspect of life. As Umar r.a. said, few are homes that are built upon love, rather people get along by kindness and ihsaan to one another. The problems in marriage arise when the husband wants his wife to fulfill all his rights, and she wants him to fulfill all rights due to her, and neither are concerned about their obligations. This is why educating yourself and training yourself for marriage is on par in terms of importance with choosing a proper pious spouse, because once the foundation is strong and deep, what's built upon it is sturdy and long-lasting by the permission of Allaah.

Ibn Abbas (r.a.) said the following profound statement in explanation of the following ayah from the Speech of Allaah:

{"And they (women) have rights (over their husbands) similar (to those over their husbands) over them to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them"}[al-Baqarah; 228]

Explaining this verse, he said, "I verily adorn myself for my wife the same as she adorns herself for me. Also I would not ask her to fulfill all the rights which she owes me, so that it would become binding upon me to fulfill all the rights which I owe her."

The narration is Hasan. So it's a two way streak, it's a partnership, it isn't an employer/client relationship; as you would like something from her, you ought to make sure you're doing the same for her.

 

[Danah]

Many things are good on it
Actually I like it very much being single, I have a lot of free time that I can achieve many of the goals I have set in my life. I dont think that I will have such a free time when I get married
I have to enjoy every moment of my time now and use it very wisely before getting a lot of responsibilities with a family and a husband.

 

[BlissfullyJaded]

It's not really an excuse about the 1 juzz thing. I think when you have kids, and they're always up to something mashaAllah, it becomes harder to concentrate on reading Quraan... It's not impossible if you make the extra effort, but this thread is about the joy of being single, and from that joy is being able to read Quran without any other thoughts about that your husband will be home in a couple hours and what is left to clean up / heat the food, and keep your kid(s) out of harming themselves, etc.

Although once the kids grow up, and the routines become better, it does become a lot easier...

 

[Soulja Girl]

Being single iz kewl... :coolious: You get treated liike a kid and get whatever you want... You don't gotta act your age... =) Your parents shower you wiv loadza goodies and love of course! :statisfie And yeaaa, so on! But I'm sure being married iz kewl too... :hmm: Both probz have their advantages and disadvantages...

 

[BlissfullyJaded]

^ Oh pshh... I wouldn't act my age if I were to get married. And he'll havta live with that. :skeleton:

 

[zanjabeela]

Ok...I know the thing about not being able to do as much ibadah after marriage as when you were single sounds like an excuse. Also, perhaps quite a few people probably saw an increase in their ibadah after marriage. But, there are more than a few women (and men!) who've seen the amount of ibadah they do go down. Telling them, "Marriage is just an excuse" will probably tick them off beyond all reason, or sadden them to the depths of depression, because they know how much they want to be reading more Qur'aan, doing more dhikr, reading more Islamic literature. And they also know that the house must be dust-free, the food has to be salted just so, and the kids have to be bathed and in their PJs by the time hubby gets home. And they also know that once hubby gets home, he needs a bit of attention himself (he's a human being, not a machine, after all!). And perhaps they are juggling a few more tasks in the air: keeping the mother-in-law happy, babysitting the sister-in-law's kids, and conducting a part-time home business to augment the household income. Maybe these are all things that you and I don't think are necessary. But for that woman, in that situation, at that time...they are necessary. And that woman (or man!) knows that as soon as it's possible, she will be returning as much of her attention to Allah as she can, at least as much attention as she paid in her single days.

For her (or him!), these are not excuses. They are reasons.

And herein, I described some of the good things about being single: not being obligated to do more than you would like. Doing what you want. Putting yourself first. Of course, marriage has its own rewards: putting another being first is an incredible thing for which there is much personal and deeni reward. But, this thread is about the joys of singlehood...not the joys of marriage

 

[Cabdullahi]

marriage is cool....but if i was to get married then id have to stop playing video games,watch football on tv and play pranks ................and i cannot leave my mum....no chance!

 

[Banu_Hashim]

Only because usually those that really want to get married spend their single days wishing they were married and not getting themselves ready for things that come after it. If people educated themselves about marriage, from an Islamic perspective and from other variant perspectives as well such as psychological etc, as they would for any other thing in life, they can make it work out very well.

So it's how you utilize your time that can make it good or bad. If you spend your single days moping about how you're not married and aren't doing anything about it, then you're going to be very miserable. However, if you spent that time using your desire for marriage and companionship into proactively learning about marriage and training yourself for it, it's going to get good now and down the line Insha'Allaah. Personally, I hate being single, but I try not to let that get into the way of me doing things that I need to do and working my way towards a married life.

What he said.

 

[S_87]

Nice Hadith, i will always be pro-marriage. I'll keep that in mind inshaAllah.Any comment on the opening post?

there are a lot of good things about being single (like not having to deal with what is seemingly another species, or having to worry about someone else which somehow comes naturally) ...many are mentioned just like there are a lot of good things about being attached.

 

[bewildred]

Well, well, when you meet the right person. I mean the person you love and the one who has the qualities you love in a person and you marry her/him, you'd regret every second you lived away from her/him. El hamdulillah, I met this very special one.

 

[Faseeha]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Maybe not the right section. I have been reading so much about marriage. But until i do get married, is there anything good about being single?

Sometimes it seems a simple case of....... single people wanting to get married and........... married people wanting to get single.

I feel there is so much hype in getting married, and then not turning out the way you wanted it to be.

Please comment...

FiAmaaniAllah

I think the answer to this question will vary from person to person, and depends on the situation they're in as well as their views and expectations from marriage and life. For example, one of the advantages of being single i would say is that you have freedom, which might decrease drastically if you're married, but then again that too depends on the situation, I know of some women who have really strict husbands, and they've got to report their every move to their husbands (whether i think that is right or wrong is another topic altogether) I also know of women who've been given more freedom after getting married, for example being able to study or work, which was not the case before marriage.

The things which I personally love about being single, not having to answer to anyone (except my parents), having so much spare time on my hands to be able to do the things i enjoy because i don't have a hubby and kids to take care off, or a house to clean, and food to cook. Also, i get time to do alot of self discovering and growth, and to obtain knowledge, which i might not have time for after marriage. I'm at a point or stage in my life where i enjoy having my freedom and lack of responsibility, but Insha'Allah when i do get married, I might get to a point where i'll enjoy the advantages of being married more then those of not being married.

 

[aminahjaan]

You can talk to yourself and sing without embarrassing yourself.
And eat like a wolverine
And you won't be self conscious the whole day
And you can make weird faces at yourself when you see a reflection haha
not that...I do that...

 

[Pomak]

You can't go out with your friends, when you want. Also you can easily get on "the blacklist" very easily. (ill spare you THAT story)