Is there sin in breaking someone's heart?

[AnonymousPoster]

I am being "cursed" by someone for breaking their heart and he is saying "my time will come, Allah will show you, it is my dua".

I am confused by this. It was a haraam relationship and i know it was wrong and i repent for that, but do i get sin for breaking someone's heart and hurting them within this situation, and is there any chance of his dua getting accepted?

And will he be able to curse my future marriage in any way?

 

[جوري]

lol.. no, no one can curse your marriage unless they use some unlawful means in which case, Allah swt will smite them for it..

It is normal not to be attracted to someone, so long as you didn't in fact do anything deliberately hurtful.. we all get our hearts broken sometime.. this guy who is 'cursin' you' needs to grow up.. Also remind him that whenever a Muslim makes du3a for another Muslim the angels say ameen to both parties, so in fact by cursing and D****** he is doing the exact same to himself...

and Allah swt knows best..
I really wouldn't worry about it.. Allah swt is fair and seeing of what has transpired!

 

[Snowflake]

^MashaAllah true say sis Skye.. as long as you didn't set out to hurt someone, their curse won't affect you.

Increase repentance inshaAllah

 

[cat eyes]

I am being "cursed" by someone for breaking their heart and he is saying "my time will come, Allah will show you, it is my dua".

I am confused by this. It was a haraam relationship and i know it was wrong and i repent for that, but do i get sin for breaking someone's heart and hurting them within this situation, and is there any chance of his dua getting accepted?

And will he be able to curse my future marriage in any way?

i don't know about this.. it depends on the situation. how much of the relationship was haraam? did you promise him marriage or something that hes hurt? i think as long as you did not lead this man on in to thinking this, no nothing bad should happen to you but what i would do is repent for what you did so that you have a seal of protection if he did try anything to harm you. i sincerely hope for your sake you realise you were doing wrong and repented and you should never go back to this cheap dirty way of shaytaam again.
may Allah guide you to the straight path.
it really bothers me and i can't get my head around it why people are doing wrong during ramadan even.

 

[جوري]

i don't know about this.. it depends on the situation. how much of the relationship was haraam? did you promise him marriage or something that hes hurt? i think as long as you did not lead this man on in to thinking this, no nothing bad should happen to you but what i would do is repent for what you did so that you have a seal of protection if he did try anything to harm you. i sincerely hope for your sake you realise you were doing wrong and repented and you should never go back to this cheap dirty way of shaytaam again.
may Allah guide you to the straight path.
it really bothers me and i can't get my head around it why people are doing wrong during ramadan even.

sis cat eyes and a Ramadan mubarak to you..
I need to share this hadith with you:

The Prophet said: 'Make things easy (for people) and do not make them difficult, and cheer people up and do not drive them away.' (Sahîh Bukhârî, Sahîh Muslim)

there is no good reason why we should cast doubt on people or their relationships to others branding everything as Haram (we simply don't know).. also if she didn't share something about the story, then it is best to respect that Allah swt doesn't wish to have us reveal our sins, thus there is no point in us probing into the alleged sins of others (especially if we'd like to be pardoned or granted the same courtesy as surely we all do at some point or another)

I don't think anything good comes from or to a Muslim who wishes and prays for ill for another Muslim.. or a Muslim who thinks another Muslim is automatically a sinner and needs to go repent.. we are all sinners and we all need to repent.. this hardly seems like the place, the time or the month when we should castigate another Muslim, least of which, when we don't know if in fact something criminal or haram has been committed..

and Allah swt knows best

 

[Woodrow]

I am hard pressed to think of under what conditions it would be a sin.

If it is done unintentionally I doubt that would be a sin. If it is done deliberately it seems the most likely reason would be to break off a haraam relationship and that just might be a blessing

 

[cat eyes]

sis cat eyes and a Ramadan mubarak to you..
I need to share this hadith with you:

The Prophet said: 'Make things easy (for people) and do not make them difficult, and cheer people up and do not drive them away.' (Sahîh Bukhârî, Sahîh Muslim)

there is no good reason why we should cast doubt on people or their relationships to others branding everything as Haram (we simply don't know).. also if she didn't share something about the story, then it is best to respect that Allah swt doesn't wish to have us reveal our sins, thus there is no point in us probing into the alleged sins of others (especially if we'd like to be pardoned or granted the same courtesy as surely we all do at some point or another)

I don't think anything good comes from or to a Muslim who wishes and prays for ill for another Muslim.. or a Muslim who thinks another Muslim is automatically a sinner and needs to go repent.. we are all sinners and we all need to repent.. this hardly seems like the place, the time or the month when we should castigate another Muslim, least of which, when we don't know if in fact something criminal or haram has been committed..

and Allah swt knows best

yes we are all sinners. sorry if i hit a nerve in you that you wanted to tell me something i already knew and something which i didn't object to sister if somebody has an opinion its not good either to quote there part and judge them also:statisfie as you say its not the time or the month we should castigate another muslim.

 

[جوري]

yes we are all sinners. sorry if i hit a nerve in you that you wanted to tell me something i already knew and something which i didn't object to sister if somebody has an opinion its not good either to quote there part and judge them also:statisfie as you say its not the time or the month we should castigate another muslim.

I wasn't judging nor castigating you dear sis.. and there are no nerves hit, since I am not the one seeking advise this can't possibly affect me one way or the other.. just wanted you to take it easy with someone asking for help..

Jazaki Allah khyran

 

[Ali_008]

Breaking heart is obviously a sin. I'd disagree with what people have said here so far because if you've dealt unjustly with this guy then his curse will come true. Prophet Muhammad :saws: prohibited for us a few things by using curses, e.g.

"He who leads people in Prayer while they detest him is cursed.”,
"'Allah curses him who curses his parents.”
"Allah curses him who insults his mother.”

Cursing is neither a prohibited action. Prophet Muhammad :saws: once said that the curse of the oppressed is definitely accepted even if the oppressed is a Mushrik (polytheist). So injustice and oppression have such huge disliking and hatred in the eyes of Allah.

The Messenger of Allah (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) said to Mua'ad Ibn Jabal (radiAllahu anhu), 'Beware of the supplication of the unjustly treated, because there is no shelter or veil between it (the supplication of the one who is suffering injustice) and Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala)'
[Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim]


The prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) declared,
'Three men whose dua is never rejected (by Allah) are: the fasting person until he breaks his fast (in another narration, when he breaks fast), the just ruler and the one who is oppressed.'
[Ahmad, at-Tirmidhi - Hasan]


In another hadith; The Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) declared:
'Three du'as are surely answered: The du'a of the oppressed, the du'a of the traveler, and the du'a of the father/mother (upon their child)'

The One who is suffering injustice is heard by Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala) when he invokes Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala) to retain his rights from the unjust one or oppressor. Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala) has sworn to help the one who is suffering from injustice sooner or later as the Messenger of Allah (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) said.

Source

You know the situation best, you know where you had gone wrong in breaking this heart.

If he wants to get back with you then why not marry him. If you've had a haraam relationship with someone, it does not mean that you can't marry that person. Repentance definitely has to be there but repentance is for being in a relationship outside marriage and not for having any association with that one particular person. I've seen this situation so many times that when a person starts to repent from a haraam relationship they start believing that their partners have become haraam for them. If both the parties of a haraam relationship sincerely repent for the past then there's nothing wrong in their marriage.

You may not want to marry this person for your own reasons and so you should communicate those to him. If your reasons are justified then I'm sure that he will understand the situation, stop cursing you and in fact even start praying good for you, inshAllah. But if you're avoiding him based on your own whims and just making this person suffer just because he loves you then do you think is that right?

Repentance includes the following as per the opinion of Islamic scholars and jurists:

- Immediate cessation of the sin.
- Regret for what is past.
- Determination not to return to the sin.
- Restitution of victims’ rights, or seeking their forgiveness. (If the sin involves wronging someone)

We don't know the entire situation clearly and so Allahu Alim whether his curses are justified are not. Ultimately, if he was wronged/oppressed then don't take his words/groaning lightly..
And Allah knows best
Wallahu Alim

 

[AnonymousPoster]

Sorry i did not elaborate on the situation, i will elaborate now. I had posted before about problems with him, but this was also under anonymous so will be hard to find.

In summary - I had a relationship with him, i broke it off as he became very angry, threatening, forcefull and didn't care about how the relationship was affecting me badly, and also he was very immature. I stayed a friend to him to ease his pain and so that i was not abandoning him, i also asked for forgiveness. He threatened and abused me verbally through this whole time, saying he will ruin my life, i stayed patient and said Islamic teachings to him to soothe him, he would threaten me, then after awhile come out with lovey messages, threaten, then after awhile say something lovey. I stayed so patient and then i felt like i was going to collapse from this fear and stress and so i cut him off, especially when he said he was going to take revenge on me, and also hurt my future husband.

He is now contacting me again, swapping between hate and love messages constantly, but never CARING messages, he just wants me to love him for his own pleasure and pride, he doesn't provide anything for me. He is threatening me again and saying i broke his heart and i will suffer too now because it is his dua etc etc.

Now..i feel like i was very patient with him, there was no way i could have stayed with him in what would have been an unhappy relationship, and then after breaking up with him and was very kind and patient to him.

I am the one that feels oppressed now, rather than him. I have had to seek out duas for protection and fear of enemies and i have not even been able to eat after Iftari due to stress.

If anyone thinks i am still in the wrong and his curse could harm me, then please tell me. If you require more information before deciding, then please ask.

 

[Ali_008]

^^Sister, like I said before you know the situation best. You can measure who holds the strings now. It just seems that the guy is obsessed with you. And I think I know the other thread you posted and I replied there as well.

You've asked for forgiveness from him and worked to earn it as well and so his curses may not have any validity. So you can relax now. But the problem now is what to do with this boy?

Communication is the key. Always.

Sit with him somewhere friendly like in a restaurant with friends from both sides, if possible even siblings. Tell him why things have become different. You must be well aware about what he wants from you and you know whether you can provide him with that or not. He feels that he has been wronged, explain the situation to him. If he's guilty, he will understand and if he doesn't then tell him that he has to face the fact that he was wrong at such and such place. The more he'll run from the truth in the name of love, the more truth is gonna pursue and persecute him. Saying something which is false over and over again does not make it the truth. He just seems to find it very difficult to come to terms with the fact that he could be so wrong and immature or may be he's aware of his mistakes and your exit from his life is just adding to his frustration.
You also need to acknowledge your mistakes or else he'll think he's being targeted in front of others.
It won't be easy. Convincing someone to fall out of love and face their faults is hugely difficult task. Plan it out. Think about everything you should say to him. Make this meeting after Ramadaan, inshAllah and till then take a book and a pen and fill out everything that you're gonna do for that day. Go prepared. InshAllah both of you will find peace.
or ask that guy to talk to me

 

[Sari]

Edited - Sorry wrong thread

 

[cat eyes]

^^Sister, like I said before you know the situation best. You can measure who holds the strings now. It just seems that the guy is obsessed with you. And I think I know the other thread you posted and I replied there as well.

You've asked for forgiveness from him and worked to earn it as well and so his curses may not have any validity. So you can relax now. But the problem now is what to do with this boy?

Communication is the key. Always.

Sit with him somewhere friendly like in a restaurant with friends from both sides, if possible even siblings. Tell him why things have become different. You must be well aware about what he wants from you and you know whether you can provide him with that or not. He feels that he has been wronged, explain the situation to him. If he's guilty, he will understand and if he doesn't then tell him that he has to face the fact that he was wrong at such and such place. The more he'll run from the truth in the name of love, the more truth is gonna pursue and persecute him. Saying something which is false over and over again does not make it the truth. He just seems to find it very difficult to come to terms with the fact that he could be so wrong and immature or may be he's aware of his mistakes and your exit from his life is just adding to his frustration.
You also need to acknowledge your mistakes or else he'll think he's being targeted in front of others.
It won't be easy. Convincing someone to fall out of love and face their faults is hugely difficult task. Plan it out. Think about everything you should say to him. Make this meeting after Ramadaan, inshAllah and till then take a book and a pen and fill out everything that you're gonna do for that day. Go prepared. InshAllah both of you will find peace.
or ask that guy to talk to me

hummm i agree. i think you should meet and talk through things thats probably the reason why he's frustrated because he is afraid of losing you.. he realised his mistakes but it seems to be to late for you. you know just don't block him off and ignore him.. it really isen't good.

 

[AnonymousPoster]

I already tried the above method for several months, and he sent me crazy with worry and stress, and continued to abuse me. It is only black and white with him - i am either with him because he wants me to be, doesn't matter if i'm unhappy. Or i am not with him and therefore i am evil and horrible and deserve threats.

It has gone beyond that now, and i'm afraid for my own health and sanity all i can do is ignore him.

 

[cat eyes]

and when did the abuse started happening for which reason? i can understand your situation and then on top of that the relationship was haraam from day 1 and this is not helping you either thats why you are taking tension.. i don't know what to say sis.. its a tricky one to get out of. would you say he has an anger problem? its not normal for a person to constantly abuse if he is constantly abusive yes your right there would be no future with him.. he could turn violent as it dose often happen. its hard to know him but i am just judging him from what you are telling me. he sounds like he has low self esteem and strong insecurity problems which can be sometimes painful for the person

 

[AnonymousPoster]

I am trying to deal with it by ignoring him and keeping him distant from me as much as possible. I make dua for him all the time also.

So now that you guys know more about the situation, are you able to answer the original question more correctly?

 

[Al-Yasa]

it depends on the situation i think

 

[cat eyes]

I am trying to deal with it by ignoring him and keeping him distant from me as much as possible. I make dua for him all the time also.

So now that you guys know more about the situation, are you able to answer the original question more correctly?

change your number and move on!!

 

[AnonymousPoster]

I am trying to deal with it by ignoring him and keeping him distant from me as much as possible. I make dua for him all the time also.

So now that you guys know more about the situation, are you able to answer the original question more correctly?

Salaam. Breaking someones heart isnt a sin...If one has to part ways then you have to part ways. On the other hand, to lead the person into thinking you like them, use them then shun them after.... this is a sin. Whatever happens after is the consequence of the action

 

[Salahudeen]

"And will he be able to curse my future marriage in any way?" Nah if anything Allah will be pleased that you gave up this haraam relationship for him. You left something haraam for his sake, it's like giving up going to the pub with your friends for the sake of Allah then your friends cursing you for abandoning them.

Do you think Allah's gonna curse this person because he abandoned his friends for the sake of Allah? just like you've abandoned this person for the sake of Allah. Allah won't punish you for obeying him

Allah's gonna be happy with the person who leaves something haraam, I used to have female friends but I cut them all off because I realised it was haraam to have friendships with them. They started saying I've become an extremist because of the mosque I go to lool.

Now I have much better male friends alhamdulilah

point is don't let this man con you into thinking Allah will be upset with you for leaving something haraam that's absurd. And he can't curse you in any way, why would Allah hurt you for leaving something that he has made forbidden??

Instead my sister he'll reward you with something even better than the haraam thing you left. This man should be carefull who he curses, when you curse some 1 if that person is not deserving of that curse then it comes back upon the person who initiated the curse.

so he's only cursing himself and harming his own future marriage cos obviously your not deserving of the curse because your obeying Allah by leaving him. Allah loves those obey him and sacrifice for him. "every 1 is rewarded according to the amount they sacrificed" you sacrificed a haraam relationship for him so he'll reward you with something better than that