i will give you a good example i hope you know sufi's and sufisim came not in the time of prophet mohammed(peace be upon him).SUFISM started in iraq in basra.
ok these people belong to extremely diff sect in islam.Now for them jihad means fighting in the cause for Allah without any boundaries.For them jihad is like just going and fighting and taking revenge not seeing wether the innocent people get killed or not and even ignoring children and just killing them too so what they are extremist.doing things without knowledge of islam.
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now according to the true muslim who follows the path of sunnah(teachings of prophet muhammed peace be upon him) and salafi meaning (the right path or the path of the sahabas)which is till today from the time of prophet mohammed(peace be upon him).prophet mohammed(peace be upon him)said jihad means a struggle to fight in the cause of Allah but with restrictions .I WILL EXPLAIN YOU IN SHORT.
1.)we are not supposed to fight unless OR until the "enemy" starts the fight.
2.)As we are fighting we are not suppose to kill innocent children,old people and women and men who have nothing to do with war.
3.)If the enemy has surrendered we are not suppose to kill him instead we have to keep him in jail .
4.)When the enemy is in jail we have no right to torture him or punish him or give him pain instead we have to teach him islam give him classes even if he doesn't like to know about islam, we are not forced to teach him islam its up to to his wish.
5.)If the enemy is litrate then we can give him the right to teach others and make them litrate ,still is his choice wether to give others litracy to others or not, remember islam doesnot force.
6.)We have to give the enemy the same clothes as we wear and also we have to give the enemy the same food and water we eat,we should not make any differences .
7.)We should give the enemy the certain amount of money to buy himself what ever he wants but in the boundaries of our country only.
8.)We should finally then release the enemy when the time of his trial is over and free him back to his country safely or if he wishes to stay back in our country by his wish or by the fear that his own country people will kill him for surrendering,remeber islam doesnot force its still the wish of the enemy even if he dint accept islam.
Brother the religion where there is no peace that is not the real religion.The people who are living in extremes are lacking knowledge of islam or they are from diff sects .
Islam the word it self means peace.
Ibn al-Qayyim (Rahimahullaah) said, "The jihaad with decisive proofs [from the Book and the Sunnah] and the tongue takes precedence over the jihaad with the sword and the spear." [Al-Jawaab us-Saheeh of Ibn Taymiyyah (1/237)].
Nasr bin Zakariyaa (Rahimahullaah) said, I heard Muhammad bin Yahyaa adh-Dhuhlee saying, I heard Yahyaa bin Yahyaa saying, "Defence of the Sunnah is more superior than Jihaad in the path of Allaah." So I said, "A man spends his wealth, tires his body and strives (in jihaad), so is this one (still) better than him? He said, "Yes, by many times!" [Dhammu ul-Kalaam of al-Harawi].
Ibn Hazam (Rahimahullaah) said: There is nothing more harmful to the branches of knowledge and its people than those who enter themselves into it and they are not from its people. They are ignorant and yet they think they have knowledge, they cause corruption whilst thinking they are correcting the affairs.[at Ta'aalam wa Atharuhu 'alal Fikr wal Kitaab pg 7]
Ibn Taymiyyah (Rahimahullaah) said: Indeed the people of Truth and the Sunnah do not follow anyone [unconditionally] except the messenger of Allaah , the one who does not speak from his desires - it is only revelation revealed to him
Islaam is not a religion of arms and swords! When Allaah Almighty revealed the Noble Qur'ân to Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him, and Muhammad became the Messenger of GOD Almighty, Muhammad had to spread Islaam to 365 Pagan Arab Tribes. These tribes showed so much hostility toward the Muslims and Islaam, and have imposed so many battles against the Muslims. For instance, when our Prophet peace be upon him sent his messenger to "Kisrah", the Emperor of Persia, introducing Islaam to him, Kisrah ordered for the Muslims' Messenger to be executed!.Back then, like today, this was considered a coward act. It was the Persians who showed the hostility toward the Muslims and declared the many battles against Islaam.The Christian Romans weren't any better. For instance, in one of their many battles against the Muslims is when they saw the threat to their religion in the Middle East, the King "Herucl", sent out an army of 100,000 men and ordered them to go to "Madina" in what we call today Saudi Arabia to destroy Islaam once and for all.
The Muslims were not stable yet at that time, and they only sent out an army of 3,000 men at that time to drive the Christian Romans away from Madina. The battle was named "The battle of Mo'ta" and it took place in Mo'ta, Jordan today.
The Muslims' plan was to meet the Christian Romans far away from Madina, and to have them stray away from Madina. The army of 3,000 men was successful enough to fight the Christian Romans for few days and then to pull away from the battle and headed South of Jordan. The Romans strayed away from Madina and the small army of the Muslims was able to run away through the mountains. More than half of the 3,000 Muslims however were killed in this operation.
The point is that Islaam didn't spread by sword with much choice. The wars were imposed upon the Muslims. The Muslims didn't ask for those wars.