Jealousy

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jealous of the happiness people have, esp my friend.. the good lives they read..
I mean i try to stay on the right path as much as possible with prayer etc and i seem to still have lots of heartache and pain in my life. whereas others that don't go along with Islam are getting everything frm life and living happily..
i know it sounds really messed up.. im jus being honest how i feel

Oh I hear ya, sista!

But I don't let it get to me so much. Honestly, I'm always the target - people tend to be jelaous of me and I have no idea why! I don't think I'm the greatest person ever on earth (I know I am not!) so it puzzles me but when you think about it , meh - that's their problem, not mine. I've never quite been jealous of others but like you, I do wonder sometimes how is it possible for those Muslims who do not live it the Islamic ways can have more than others ... I stopped wondering when I see that it doesn't get me anywhere and well, Allah knows best. Perhaps, they won't be that happy when after life comes.
 
Oh I hear ya, sista!

But I don't let it get to me so much. Honestly, I'm always the target - people tend to be jelaous of me and I have no idea why! I don't think I'm the greatest person ever on earth (I know I am not!) so it puzzles me but when you think about it , meh - that's their problem, not mine. I've never quite been jealous of others but like you, I do wonder sometimes how is it possible for those Muslims who do not live it the Islamic ways can have more than others ... I stopped wondering when I see that it doesn't get me anywhere and well, Allah knows best. Perhaps, they won't be that happy when after life comes.

how do u know people are jealous of u? They tell u?
 
Some do tell me straight to my face and there's this thing called body language.

for real?


ive been told to my face before but i took it as a joke and laughed it off..
.

as for body language...? seriously? theres body language for jelousy? :|
 
for real?


ive been told to my face before but i took it as a joke and laughed it off..
.

as for body language...? seriously? theres body language for jelousy? :|

Body language, facial expression. I love observing people and their behaviour - it's entertaining and also, you can learn a lot!

Usually, it'll come out after a catty remark has been made to me or rather, when I ask what's wrong with this and that, why am I being treated this way, that way ... yeah, that's when they tell it to my face.

I do not take things like that to heart as I believe that they need to work on themselves.
 
jealous of the happiness people have, esp my friend.. the good lives they read..
I mean i try to stay on the right path as much as possible with prayer etc and i seem to still have lots of heartache and pain in my life. whereas others that don't go along with Islam are getting everything frm life and living happily..
i know it sounds really messed up.. im jus being honest how i feel

My sister Jannah is surrounded by hardships and Jahannam is surrounded by ease and desires. When a person has hardships in life then that is a good sign that Allah wants good for that person. You think we will not be tested with hardships in our life? You think we can attain eternity of bliss by having an easy life? Don't let shaythan fool you into thinking that people who look happy in their exterior are happy inside their hearts. Can you see into their hearts to know if they are truly happy?

My cousin was a millionnaire and had a wonderful wife too and i truly thought he was so lucky and happy for all those years because everytime i saw him he looked happy and contentment. But little did i know he and his wife had a very difficult marriage and they eventually divorced and he has now left the country. That is when my perception of what makes one happy changed. Don't be decieved by what people show in their exteriour because the interiour will always tell a different story.

Don't let shaythan affect your progress in this life. On the day of judgement you will regret the time you wasted envying those who don't deserve envy. Make the best of your time whilst you have it, for death is awaiting you and can strike by Allah's will at any moment. So make the best use of now for there may never be a tomorrow!

Consider the following:

Desires and Calamities

A Sahih hadith reported by At-Tirmidhi narrates on the authority of Abu Hurairah (RA) that the Messenger of Allah (SAWS) said: "When Allah created Paradise, He sent Jibreel to it and said, 'Look at it and the pleasures I have prepared for its inhabitants.' So Jibreel came to Paradise and looked at what Allah had prepared for its inhabitants. He then returned to Allah and said, 'I swear by Your Grandeur that not a single person will hear of it except that he will enter it (i.e he will do anything to enter it).' Then Allah ordered Paradise to be surrounded by adversities, calamities and detestable things and He said to Jibreel, 'Go back and look at it and what I have prepared for its inhabitants.' Jibreel went back to Paradise and found that it had been surrounded by adversities, calamities and detestable things, so he returned to Allah and said, 'I swear by Your Grandeur that I fear that no one will enter it (i.e he will do anything to avoid it).'

Then Allah said to Jibreel, 'Go to Hell and look at it and the punishments that I have prepared for its inhabitants.' Jibreel looked at Hell and found it extremely horrible, so he said to Allah, 'I swear by Your Grandeur that not a single person will hear of it except that he will avoid entering it.' Then Allah ordered Hell to be surrounded by desires and luxuries and said to Jibreel, 'Go back to it.' Jibreel returned to Hell and then said, 'I swear by Your Grandeur that no one will be able to escape from it.'"

An indicator of whether your life is leading you towards Paradise or Hell is to consider the circumstances of your life. If you are worshipping Allah and your life is full of hardships and detestable things, then this is a positive sign. What are the things that a person detests in life? Fear, hunger, poverty, thirst, lack of security, lack of shelter, imprisonment, bereavement, being estranged from loved ones, loneliness, uncertainty, etc., etc., to name but a few. Yet these are also some of the things that Paradise is surrounded by; these are the things that indicate whether or not a believer is on the path to Paradise.

Then consider, what are the things that a person desires or loves in life? Wealth, children, spacious dwelling, safety, security, plentiful food and drink, expensive clothing, being with loved ones, etc., etc., to name but a few. Yet these are also some of the things that Hell is surrounded by; these are the things that indicate to a believer whether or not he is going towards his eternal destruction.

For this reason, many of the wealthy Sahabah used to weep uncontrollably whilst repeating the verse in Surah Al-Ahqaf (46:20): "And the Day, those who disbelieved are exposed to the Fire, it will be said, 'You exhausted your pleasures during your worldly life and enjoyed them, so this Day you will be awarded the punishment of extreme humiliation because you were arrogant upon the earth without right and because you were defiantly disobedient.'" Umar bin Al-Khattab, Abdur-Rahman bin Awf and others, may Allah be pleased with them all, would frequently mention this verse, when they even experienced pleasures as small as a wholesome meal.

Following your desires leads to the Hell Fire. That is why many of the Pious Predecessors used to say, "If you want to obey Allah, disobey your nafs (soul, desires, etc)." Likewise, it is reported in a poem from Imam Ash-Shafi (Abdullah bin Al-Mubarak is also said to have mentioned it): "The best thing for your nafs (soul) is to disobey it." Therefore, if you want to obey Allah, consult your heart and do the opposite of what your soul orders you to do. If your soul orders you to sleep instead of praying, get up and pray. If your soul orders you to only spend out of your unwanted possessions, then spend out of the things you love most, for Allah says in Surah Ale-Imran (3:92): "Never shall you attain true piety unless you spend from that which you love." If your soul orders you to pray at home, go and pray in the masjid. If your soul orders you to relax at home instead of visiting your sick, fellow Muslim, get up and go visit your sick, fellow Muslim for you will find Allah with him.

Therefore, consider your life and be your own judge. If Allah is pouring upon you luxury upon luxury, wealth upon wealth, comfort upon comfort, then that is a sign that something is wrong and it is something to worry about. Moreover, if this is happening whilst you are disobedient to Allah or neglectful of His Commands, then it is a sign of your imminent destruction. Luxuries and comforts make a person forget Allah and become heedless in their duties.

On the other hand, if you are trying your best to worship Allah and be mindful of His Commands, and yet your life is fraught with adversities, hardships and detestable things, then rejoice for this is a good indication that you are on the path to Paradise. Adversities and hardships make a believer remember Allah more and turn to Him with sincerity. A well-known saying says: "Hardship is as beneficial to the soul as it is unwelcome in life. And comfort is as harmful to the soul as it is welcome in life."

So O prisoner in the Path of Allah, do not be sad when you are given miserable food, when you are given ragged clothes, when you are estranged from your family and loved ones and when you see others surpass you in wealth and children. Rather, rejoice and be happy as these are all signs that you are on the path towards Paradise, which is surrounded by so many detestable things that even the Angel Jibreel feared no one would be able to enter it because of these adversities.

The 13th Century scholar Al-Izz bin Abdus-Salam said, "The state of tribulation and affliction drives man closer to Almighty Allah, whereas the state of health and blessing drives him away from Allah, as He says in the Quran, 'And when harm touches man, he invokes Us, lying down on his side, or sitting or standing. But when We have removed his harm from him, he passes on his way as if he has never invoked Us for a harm that touched him!...' (Quran 10:12)"

Hasan Al-Basri said, "Do not detest the misfortunes that befall you, for what you detest may be the cause of your salvation and what you like may be the cause of your ruin."

Finally, Ali bin Abi Talib is reported to have said, may Allah be pleased with him, "O son of Adam, do not be happy with richness and do not despair of poverty. Do not feel sad during affliction and do not rejoice over prosperity, for just as gold is tried by fire, the pious are tried by affliction. You will not attain what you want except by giving up what you desire, and you will not attain what you aspire to except by enduring patiently what you hate, and exerting yourself in implementing that which has been made compulsory upon you (by Allah)."

Source: http://www.lutonmuslims.co.uk/desirescalamities.htm[/QUOTE]
 
Body language, facial expression. I love observing people and their behaviour - it's entertaining and also, you can learn a lot!

Usually, it'll come out after a catty remark has been made to me or rather, when I ask what's wrong with this and that, why am I being treated this way, that way ... yeah, that's when they tell it to my face.

I do not take things like that to heart as I believe that they need to work on themselves.

thats just being suspicious. don't mind me saying but suspicion is ignorance to falsely believe that somebody is jealous just by a facial expression is pretty extreme to me:hmm:
 
Body language, facial expression. I love observing people and their behaviour - it's entertaining and also, you can learn a lot!

Usually, it'll come out after a catty remark has been made to me or rather, when I ask what's wrong with this and that, why am I being treated this way, that way ... yeah, that's when they tell it to my face.

I do not take things like that to heart as I believe that they need to work on themselves.

Im jealous i wish i could analyze public behavior like that
 
Salaam,

My sister, some excellent advice given here. All I'll say is whenever you see your sister or brother in Islaam with a good trait then make du`aa for them that Allaah (subhaanahu wa ta`aalaa) increases them in this characteristic so that they may use it for his sake. Sis, smile and be happy for them, as you would if it was you. Don't dwell on not having the same traits. Make sincere du`aa for them.

Now, if you want to be jealous ukht, let's be jealous of those who stay up most of the night worshiping and begging forgiveness from Allaah (ta`aalaa) and those whose `ibaadah is beautiful, whose akhlaaq are beautiful, who are getting together their provisions for the aakhirah. Let's be jealous that they are closer to Allaah [ta`aalaa] than us and then let's strive to be like them inshaAllaah.

:) smile ukht
 
thats just being suspicious. don't mind me saying but suspicion is ignorance to falsely believe that somebody is jealous just by a facial expression is pretty extreme to me:hmm:

Extreme to you, does not mean extreme to everyone else. It's a simple thing, really. I'm sorry but I do not see myself as a close-minded person. I like to observe and from what I have learned in Psychology, it holds true.
 
thats just being suspicious. don't mind me saying but suspicion is ignorance to falsely believe that somebody is jealous just by a facial expression is pretty extreme to me:hmm:

she's just jealous !!
 
Extreme to you, does not mean extreme to everyone else. It's a simple thing, really. I'm sorry but I do not see myself as a close-minded person. I like to observe and from what I have learned in Psychology, it holds true.

i call it ignorance and i think u should really take a look at your own behaviour before anyone else. its really disgusting.
 
i call it ignorance and i think u should really take a look at your own behaviour before anyone else. its really disgusting.

it is disgusting to jump to conclusions i agree


but we shouldnt judge the sister either :)
 
When someone comes to me and says she is jelaous of me AFTER I have concluded, how is that jumping to conclusions?

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, there is no need to take this off topic. We are supposed to be giving advice to the sister so why divert this thread and talk about how people are jealous of you? How is that going to help anyone?

You should think before you write and think to yourself that- Is what im going to write going to benefit anyone?

That which is going to be of no benefit and possibly cause more harm than good should be disregarded. We should constantly check our intentions of why we are here. So Please sister next time just think before you post. Jazakallahu khayran.
 

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