Living the single life

[Woodrow]

Just a few thoughts after reading through this thread.


Let us be a bit kinder when speaking of single people. Being single does not mean the person is abnormal or sinful.

Let us try to give up our "need" to question single people as to why they are single.

Unless asked, let us stop trying to be a matchmaker, for every single person we know.

Let us respect our brothers and sisters right to privacy.

 

[alcurad]

true, wise as always brother woodrow.

 

[Argamemnon]

I don't think many people in fact appreciate that.. I know it is the norm to be married.. but it is more than ok not to be married too..

I gather that you are still young and that your opinion will change...

 

[Argamemnon]

As for singles, they have no excuse to not marry. To say it is not for me, no one is made for me, or i hate marriage, or i can live happily without marraige or any other excuse for that matter; to say such things and shy away from marriage is not part of Sunnah.

Unless a person is mentally or physically ill..

 

[Re.TiReD]

Allahuma urzuqni zawjah/zawj taqiyah naqiyah baarah wari3ah tukrimuni fee deeni wa dunyay walaa tu' theeni fee deeni wa dunyay

Oh Allah grant me a wife/husband who is pious, pure, virtuous, devout, who will be generous to me in this world and the next and who will not harm me in this world and the next.

اللهم ارزقني زوجة تقية نقية بارة ورعة تكرمني في ديني ودنياي ولا تؤذيني في دينيولا دنياي

There ya go ya'all

 

[Argamemnon]

Romanticism is sweet when you are a teenager and idealistic..

Your post made me really sad because it's true. I will never experience this, since I'm too old now. Whenever I think about it I feel tremendous guilt and regret. I also feel ashamed, since we shouldn't focus so much on certain pleasures in life as Muslims. Perhaps my imaan is still too weak.

 

[alcurad]

pleasures-of the flesh or otherwise- are not viewed as bad in slam brother,though there are bounds to be sure.

 

[Argamemnon]

pleasures-of the flesh or otherwise- are not viewed as bad in slam brother, there are bounds to be sure though.

True bro, but I don't think it's right to feel depressed because I didn't experience it.

 

[alcurad]

actually I'd say it is natural, hey it's never too late, I mean life can be enjoyed regardless of age.

 

[Argamemnon]

actually I'd say it is natural, hey it's never too late, I mean life can be enjoyed regardless of age.

Hmm, that's not entirely true in my view

 

[Najm]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Best time to :bump1: this thread, since all the single threads are flying!!! :ermm:

@ OP, that woman has really strong character Marsa2llah

FiAmaaniAllah

 

[Re.TiReD]

:wasalamex

LOL thats it, ima bump up a proper marriage thread <_<

Actually, I've written an article about that, might post insha'Allah

WassalamuAlaykum

 

[cimira]

i just wanted 2 say how inspiring sister Hafsah's post is, it provides a comfort deep within 2 someone like me who is always told im going to end up lonely with no1...but i have come 2 accept that maybe allah swt wants me 2 experience this loneliness so i can appreciate things i had taken for granted and i shudnt fear when will be the right time 4 me or if i will ever b ready..i should trust that allah swt will do the best for me...thank you sister Hafsah your post has encouraged me to do this.

 

[cat eyes]

excuse me for my honesty i found this post of no inspiration what so ever :hmm: i am actually surprised of some of the replies the sisters gave also which kinda gave me goosebumps..

i believe that a woman should be married before she goes to the grave. why? well because you cannot live a single life you will end up doing zina. you can not be to picky with potential's your whole life either. this sister got married and divorced twice whoah!! i hope she got divorced for the right reasons.. divorce is not something encouraged and to live a single life is certainly not something encouraged either!

could someone back me up here or is it just me who feels this strongly about it..

 

[Muhaba]

It's great advice to those who haven't been able to get married. In the Arab world, they say marriage is rizq (sustenance) and like any sustenance, it is from Allah and you will get it when and if Allah wills. Like you can't ask someone why they aren't married. They'll say it is in naseeb (fate) and you shouldn't ask questions like that. I think that's a good thing. I sometimes wonder what to say if someone asks me that question. Some can say I was studying. Some can say I was working, building my career. The only answer I've got is I couldn't find anyone right uptill now, lol.

It's a bit sad though, and it does make me sad. And reading stuff like this article is really uplifting.

 

[جوري]

Your post made me really sad because it's true. I will never experience this, since I'm too old now. Whenever I think about it I feel tremendous guilt and regret. I also feel ashamed, since we shouldn't focus so much on certain pleasures in life as Muslims. Perhaps my imaan is still too weak.

you move in from idealism to cultivation. Each age in life has its own perks and its own fruits or flowers.. some thrive in the summer, some in winter, some are nocturnal. Surely Allah swt must love variety for we are incredibly varied and have different needs, different intellects, different desires, different roads.. you won't experience the idealism and caprice of the teenage yrs maybe that is true, but you'll have something better insha'Allah..
Don't you know that folks enter into paradise at the age of 33.. not 16, not 24.. but in the thirties the mind and the looks are fully cultured and bodied by then.. anyone who tells you otherwise is just a teenager ;D

actually I'd say it is natural, hey it's never too late, I mean life can be enjoyed regardless of age.

I second that indeed.. a man of a few words which I felt we should expound on..

 

[Humbler_359]

sister,

We have to think originally, Allah (SWT) created Adam and Eve (Man and Woman together), what does this tell you? There is no way for Man to be single life or Woman to be lonely life.

I would say, this sister got many offers from brothers but rejected it. She make her own decision. I don't know what she is still looking for in many single life.


Marriage is blessed, I encourage everyone should get married in avoiding temptation, depression, lonely, sad, down, no beautiful kids, etc.

Well, I was married myself in short time, unfortunately, it didn't work out well, my ex-spouse left me for no good reason at all. I realize it was maybe written in my destiny, it help me to be strong person, positive and focus on my Imaan. I had fully trust in Allah (Subhana Wa Taa'la) and his best planner than mine.

After separation, I was amazed that I received alot of good news in many countless things such as loan forgiving, new job, car, travel, take care of my parents, many smiles on my face. I see differences.

It is due to Allah, The most Gracious and the Most Merciful, Ameen.

 

[yasin ibn Ahmad]

Although it adresses to a sister I was inspired by the post.It made me feel really good as I am not financially ready to think about marriage seriously.Inshallah everyone finds their Mr\Mrs. Right one day.

 

[Rasema]

I enjoyed the story.

"The past is history the future is mystery, Its today which counts, something like that."

Marrage is the Prophet's way and the Prophets way we obey
Thank you for the story because some people, such as me,have to support their families and cannot get marrried. The only thing that sadenss me is that I can't follow the sunna. But, I think that, in order to achieve jennah, one must suffer and strive a lot.I think, that who ever is living a smooth life needs to go to jihad or something.

 

[Muhaba]

I would say, this sister got many offers from brothers but rejected it. She make her own decision. I don't know what she is still looking for in many single life.

lol i hope that wasn't directed to me! couldn't really tell. Actually most men/their families i came across were very materialistic, wanting money, a working wife, not interested in religion, not practicing well, didn't have knowledge of religion, weren't even happy that i wore hijab/niqab which tends to hinder my ability to work, etc. Not the kind of guy I want.

Another problem nowadays is that some ppl don't even properly propose. Like they'd give hints that they are interested, but don't actually ask, probably expecting the woman/her family to propose to him but that doesn't really work imo. I think women would rarely propose to a guy because that's culturally unaccepted. If a guy can't get the courage to propose, then how can he expect a woman to do it?

If a guy wants to marry someone, he should properly propose, speak to her family and tell her about himself, get to know each other / each other's family & then proceed to get engaged and married. And he shouldn't expect the woman's family to move things forward! That's a real put off. It only tells her he isn't interested.