Losin/No faith???

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

^^InshaAllah Ameen!

I want to know too! After Muslimah sis

 

[glo]

You girls make me laugh!
I didn't say I was going to revert, or even thinking about it ... but you can always form an orderly queue.

Anyway, we are hijacking true muslim's thread - sorry! :-[

 

[truemuslim]

I dont know if I read it wrong, but, dont think that if your prayers and being answered and other things that you are safe and all. Or that you can carry on in sin.

You know, sometimes you see a farmer feeding his goats, and he feeds one loads and loads, and the others he deprives, so some think 'Oh he must love that goat' but the reason he feeds that particular one is cos he is going to slaughter it.

Got that from a video

:scared: !!! OMG does that mean allah will slaugher me?!?!?!?!??!? I would rather do it to me than him doing it to me!! ok i wouldnt... and i was kiddin..i think....i get wut u meant. i thnk
Jazakallah khair

Ye true muslim i know what problem you have...and we have all had the same problem or a little different to that. and we try to stay away from it...Don't wrry lil sis we all go through this and inshallah we have to be strong enough to conquer it

:salamext:

No offence, but from what I deduced, the first post refers to listening to music?

SHhhhhhh....:-[

You girls make me laugh!
I didn't say I was going to revert, or even thinking about it ... but you can always form an orderly queue.

Anyway, we are hijacking true muslim's thread - sorry! :-[

dont worry sis u sisters make me laff...



and @ others jazakallah khair evryone...

bbut....
see....thers....:laugh: (pretend thats crying this time...)
ok i cant get teh words out lemme juss rap it er somthin...

Ok, see this is how it appears
my eyes are full of tears
im losin ma faith some say it would be pressur frm ma peers
but i kno it aint coz its been fine all these years
until my heart became full of fears
my name means pure but i dont think i am too clear

and everytime i try to enjoy something
i kno its only a moment
it will soon fade away and become nothin but a memory
is it a punishment from allah? to not enjoy anymore?
my heart hurts it feels so sore
and i kno it never was like this before (before november 23 '07)
i gess i lost my faith, i aint got it anymore...


i hope that was able to let u understand better than i would explain when i talk it...or type it...sorry.
and sorry for mispellin anything coz i cant type right now...too shaky...to painy...

WaSalaam

 

[truemuslim]

Oh and yes allah does answer my duas and prayers..if he didnt i wouldnt be back on this forum and more other stuff...but i dont deserve it...i really dont

 

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

^^well i suppose it because He knows your intentions and how true you are from your heart about being a Muslim, Alhamdulillah. Allah Ta'ala will always be there for u because you turn to Him So dont lose hope sis! Allah(swt) knows we fall short and make mistakes, thats why he has opened so many doors of forgiveness for us, MashaAllah And he loves us more for turning to Him with sincerity, no matter what the reason.

 

[truemuslim]

I feel no matter what i do its not good enough, no matter how much dua they wont be answered...(hope ur not confused) before i used to think about judgement day and not care much coz i kno i didnt sin or anything but now i kno im old enough to be sinning and i kno music is haram. i kno allah loves everyone but i dont feel he loves me. i feel like no matter what i try to do or enjoy like today we went to a restaraunt and everyone is all happy and im all normal...thinkin...how this is only limited...how we will only go for about an hour so why would i try to enjoy it...soon it will fade away and only be a memory...or like when we go to six flags here... my brothers are all excited and i am too but i cant ever enjoy it, im smiling and happy and laughin but i cant really enjoy it. i feel its gonna end any momentand turn into a memory and other times i feel like i dont deserve it. and then we finish enjoying that thing and i tell myself, "see its all a memory now, what have i done with it, and what can i do with a memory" . i feel this is a punishment from allah ,making me not able to enjoy anything. and this is also a problem wit the music. i lissen over and over and over and astaghfirallah, and i say "oh this aint gna last lets just replay em all, keep em comin, doesnt matter everyone does it, allah isnt punishing me..just do it now and ask for forgivness" its a feeling i cant explain


and better yet i cant talk to no one about it..only u guys...

oh hold on...watery...
i dunno why

 

[truemuslim]

no matter how much i go no matter how much i do i cant feel like im good enough.and i feel u people will only say its peer pressure, its emotional its bla bla bla, and give hadiths and ayat, and saythings like that but i kno all that and i kno its non of that... ...

just translating my poem up ther.

ive been holding all this back, i tried i really did, but i just cant anymore i feel all of you on the forum are all better, all sinless, all good and islamic, but im one of the non muslims...and please dont say anything bout emotional crap plz.

 

[truemuslim]

Sometimes i start thinking.
And i think about life, and god.
i start thinking like an athiest tho.
and i hate myself for that.
i think.... i wonder what was before god. and i get feelings of death in me.
and i feel like i am dead already
and i think beyond death.
i think about adam and eve, i think about god, and how he can understand everything right now.
but why he hasn't answered my one dua i have been making since i joined here (nov. 23 '07) and how he has answered other duas
and how he answers everyone elses
and i experience too much deja vu ... but i dont care much

and this "its all going to fade away soon and become nothing but a memory" feeling may sound good sometimes to realize how life is, and how life is just a test, but its not good when it stops me from doing everything in life. i dont want to enjoy half the things i used to. even basketball... i loved it. but now its just a lil bit of interest. i used to be obsessed. but now i barely play it. i kno its just gonna be a memory of me playing it two minutes ago. and i think what benifit have i gained from it?

 

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Oh sis You making me sad now >.< Trust me...none of us are sinless....subhanAllah we all make mistakes and what matters is admitting it and trying to please Allah. Allah Ta'ala knows your doing that InshaAllah. Don't pressure yourself so much, itll only depress you more. When I get the urge for music, I just put nasheeds on or put the Quran on. whatever music u have sis, just get rid of it. cause if its there in front of u or on ur computer or anywhere else...youll be tempted to listen to it. Just do it step by step InshaAllah.

 

[snakelegs]

truemuslim,
you are being way way too hard on yourself!!! you yourself said that you do everything else - pray, read qur'an etc etc - it is only this one thing that you don't have the strength right now to let go of.
do you think god expects you to be perfect - a saint? you sound like a good muslim to me. do you think other muslims here don't do stuff they shouldn't too - that you're the only one?
i suggest that while you are feeling this confused, don't even try to give it up. give yourself some slack. you are focusing on it too much, and it isn't helping at all.
you are having all kinds of thoughts, doubts and fears and you're driving yourself crazy with this stuff! (yeah, i've done it too - we probably all have) being a teenager is hard at best, because you're going through so many changes, both physically and psychologically. it's perfectly normal to question, especially for a person as intelligent as you are - it doesn't mean you're going to turn in to an atheist or anything!
your thoughts about the futility of everything (because it is all temporary and fleeting) sound like the thinking a person goes through when they are depressed - everything seems pointless. if this persists, you may be suffering from depression - it can make you think all kinds of crazy thoughts. a lot of depression is physical in origin and can be treated.
most of all, remember - the first attribute of god in the qur'an is what? mercy!!!! for heaven's sake, be gentle with yourself!

 

[truemuslim]

truemuslim,
you are being way way too hard on yourself!!! you yourself said that you do everything else - pray, read qur'an etc etc - it is only this one thing that you don't have the strength right now to let go of.
do you think god expects you to be perfect - a saint? you sound like a good muslim to me. do you think other muslims here don't do stuff they shouldn't too - that you're the only one?
i suggest that while you are feeling this confused, don't even try to give it up. give yourself some slack. you are focusing on it too much, and it isn't helping at all.
you are having all kinds of thoughts, doubts and fears and you're driving yourself crazy with this stuff! (yeah, i've done it too - we probably all have) being a teenager is hard at best, because you're going through so many changes, both physically and psychologically. it's perfectly normal to question, especially for a person as intelligent as you are - it doesn't mean you're going to turn in to an atheist or anything!
your thoughts about the futility of everything (because it is all temporary and fleeting) sound like the thinking a person goes through when they are depressed - everything seems pointless. if this persists, you may be suffering from depression - it can make you think all kinds of crazy thoughts. a lot of depression is physical in origin and can be treated.
most of all, remember - the first attribute of god in the qur'an is what? mercy!!!! for heaven's sake, be gentle with yourself!

*sigh*
see?????? u people say its depression, emotional crap, or peer pressur
its not
allah forgives if the person DOESNT do the sin again
and feels shame
i dont feel shame
and i continue it
and i only started feeling this way when i joined this forum and found out music is haram
i didnt even kno bout the "lowering gazE" thing...i dont care tho...i dont do it
i kno i dont sin any but music. and its so hard to quit. and i kno im not forgiven......well im pretty sure...
and i feel i dont even deserve the name "truemuslim" . yet i use it everywhere...online..

oh and jazakallah khair sis

 

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Oh comeon sis....your not in depression! Your just worried about the music deal. Like I said, take it step by step, nothing is overnight, trust me on that. I gave up music for monthhssssssssssss starting from Ramadhan and then i slacked back into it recently. And I did all that I told you and im doing it again InshaAllah. It helps, for me at least. Im sure itll help you too. I thought like u did too sis. I figured oh this a nasheed(with music), no bad words, good message. But I knew it wasnt right. So you just need to take it slowly. Get rid of anything with instruments sis, slowly. Then take it from there InshaAllah.

I figure you use that name because its how you feel inside and want to live up too. Basically you have a burning flame of iman in your heart, MashaAllah. I can tell, because thats how I feel too.

 

[truemuslim]

Oh comeon sis....your not in depression! Your just worried about the music deal. Like I said, take it step by step, nothing is overnight, trust me on that. I gave up music for monthhssssssssssss starting from Ramadhan and then i slacked back into it recently. And I did all that I told you and im doing it again InshaAllah. It helps, for me at least. Im sure itll help you too. I thought like u did too sis. I figured oh this a nasheed(with music), no bad words, good message. But I knew it wasnt right. So you just need to take it slowly. Get rid of anything with instruments sis, slowly. Then take it from there InshaAllah.

its too hard sis. i try but cant. its takin over everything. and my whole family lissens to music and i cant talk to them bout nothin . they dont kno any of this and they...wont kno any of this and its better they dont kno any of this. the songs i lissen to are the most islamic that contain music...instruments
but the thing is it makes me think too much and makes me not want to do anything. i used to want judgement day to hurry up...(u can even see that in my past posts!!) but now i realized im sinful!

 

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

See sis, cause you say you can't, then u already have it set in mind that you won't or can't do it at all. Don't think like that. I know the feeling that your describing. Making the same mistake over and over. Asking Allah to forgive me yet I do it again. Even if I stop for a bit, I fall back into that. Sis, it's not just you. Don't lower yourself like that. First step is realizing what ur doing(which u've done a lot..) and then making an effort InshaAllah, anyway u can(correct way).

'When Allah Ta'ala wishes good for a person, then he becomes afflicted with sickness (or hardship).' Sahih Bukhaari

 

[snakelegs]

you do realize that not all islamic scholars think music is haram, don't you? (don't jump on me, everybody!)
again, i think while you're feeling so horrible about all this, stop trying to give it up for a while - and when you're feeling stronger, if you still think it's wrong, try again. just put it on hold before you drive yourself nuts!

 

[truemuslim]

See sis, cause you say you can't, then u already have it set in mind that you won't or can't do it at all. Don't think like that. I know the feeling that your describing. Making the same mistake over and over. Asking Allah to forgive me yet I do it again. Even if I stop for a bit, I fall back into that. Sis, it's not just you. Don't lower yourself like that. First step is realizing what ur doing(which u've done a lot..) and then making an effort InshaAllah, anyway u can(correct way).

inshallah

you do realize that not all islamic scholars think music is haram, don't you? (don't jump on me, everybody!)
again, i think while you're feeling so horrible about all this, stop trying to give it up for a while - and when you're feeling stronger, if you still think it's wrong, try again. just put it on hold before you drive yourself nuts!

but the thing is KNOWING its haram just doesnt make anything normal.
And its not just the music
its my whole faith
my imaan is all falling.
im not sure if it really is but i FEEL like it is.
this feeling i cant explain...




well except in the poem

 

[snakelegs]

there are times when your faith is stronger and times when it is weaker. it doesn't mean you're a bad person!

 

[truemuslim]

there are times when your faith is stronger and times when it is weaker. it doesn't mean you're a bad person!

my faith is always weak tho.

 

[BlackMamba]

Music sucks, I'll take qirat over it ANY day. Saad al-Ghamdi, Sudais, Shuraim > Music. Just listen to Quran.

 

[snakelegs]

my faith is always weak tho.

but you yourself said

and i only started feeling this way when i joined this forum and found out music is haram

so it all goes back to the music. again, i think you should put it on hold for now until you feel stronger. it is not universally agreed in islam that all music is haram regardless of content.
you are a good muslim in every other way - stop beating yourself up because you're not a 100% perfect muslim. i'm sure you're not the only one.