Marriage difficulties

[TotalControl]

Salaam brothers and sisters.

Well, the sitcom aka my life has really been quite challenging over the last year.

My 'wife' has now left the house (she left back in May) and is really not cooperating. She has become very vindictive and is also not letting me see the children. My children. At all!!

I did do as brother Sharif rightly stated and in all honesty, did not see myself getting anywhere with this woman. I hope that Allah (swt) has given me the right state of mind to pursue my actions. As far as it goes for the other woman, contact has been, rightly, kept to a minimum to avoid Satan coming into and overtaking my thoughts. Simple. Life can only go right if you lead life the right way.

There is something that is really bothering me now though. I have asked for her, if you fellow brothers and sisters remember, to just statutarily (is that even the right word?) divorce and not break off the Nikah. Her exact words for this, I am ashamed to say, were 'Well, if you divorce me here then it's a divorce, I don't care what Islam has to say'.

This for me was the last straw. Insult me, insult my actions, my thoughts, my dreams, but under no circumstances shall anyone insult my Iman. Allah (swt) has given me enough of a brain for me to value this. It's heartbreaking to know how devalued your Iman is, or even hers, for her to say this, and so convincingly even when knowing what the right thing to do is.

As of last night, I have spoken to her regarding the issue of divorce. It is now apparent that she does not want to do this the easy way. Great. Just what I needed.

She has said that if I am to divorce, she wants a full divorce. But...

She will not give me the Nikah papers for me to proceed with divorce. She will not cooperate with me, but sees it fit for her to not let me see my children. No matter what, she will stick by this. I have tried to call Pakistan to get another Nikah paper sent to me but the useless oaf I spoke to doesn't understand the urgency. I don't even think he knows how to read his email. Unsurprising.

My next step is, obviously, divorce. But, brothers and sisters, my question for you here is, if I divorce her via the proceedings of Talakh, will she then have to cooperate with no choice and divorce me under statutary law? It seems to be a logical solution which she will not be able to get out of.

I fear this will drag on far longer than expected, as I really have plans for a better and cleaner life. My namaz is for noone but to better me and my prayers are for not me but others, but seriously, this is taking the biscuit. I do not want to resort to ill words and want this sorted cleanly.

Please help a fellow brother.

Salaam.

 

[nilufer]

I would like to introduce myself. My name is Ikram Hussain and i am 24 years old. I am a Sunni and my parents are of Pakistani descent from an area near to Rawalpindi. It has been about a year since my Iman has become a lot stronger and I thank Allah (SWT) for the strength he gives me to make my Iman even clearer. However, there are always going to be situations where you will have to learn Islam to understand it better. Hence why i am writing to you.

I have been married for 7 years now to my wife who is my cousin (her mother is my mothers sister and her father is my fathers brother. My mother and father are also cousins). She is five years older than me. We have two wonderful boys (4.5 and 3). The thing is, we have never really got on.

It all started on 20th March 2000 when my parents told me that i would be marrying in pakistan. I was 15! I did not want to marry but i was told to do it or leave (in nice words). My mother, father, uncle and aunty (not her parents, but her uncle and aunty also) all pressured me into this. Alas, on 27 July 2001 i went to pakistan and had my nuptual agreement. The situation wasnt nice but i gave in. With no sense of direction and no one to help.

The Nikah, as i understand, was done but i did notice my date of birth being changed to make me look 18 instead of 17. I did not sleep with her there and merely came back in the hope, and thought, that the worst was over and i would never have to think of it again. I was hidden from the truth of knowing what a marriage was and had nothing to be with her as i was still at school.

I have known another woman who is also muslim for 6 years and we both collectively have agreed that marriage is the way forward for us. We have strong feelings for each other and would inshallah like to continue them for the rest of our lifes. This woman is the same age as me and understands me very well. She has also in the past supported me with this marriage and stopped me from killing myself and given me the Iman i have with me today.

My wife came to England after 1.5 years and several dozen fake payslips for me later. Both of our children that have been born were both asked for by my wife. She did not listen to me as i told her i was not willing to have children yet. It got to a point where she cried and begged me for them. I gave in.

Fast forward to 2008 and just 1 month ago i have lost my daughter (at birth). It was expected but came about in the wrong way. This was done by our mistake as i was asleep on the last day of ramadan and stated i was fasting and did not want her to come near me. So she did, when i was asleep. It was stupid for me to break my fast how i did and regret it dearly. I did not want to have another child but my wife did not abort when we first found out (at 3 weeks) as she wanted to prove her point. It supposedly is the easy way to obtain a coucil house!

The situation now that arises is that i want to get married again to this other woman. However, if i just divorce my current wife from english law and keep the nikah, would this be valid as i do not wish to sleep with my current wife and have any responsibility over her. Reason being is because we both know that we are together for the children and the children only. The only reason i ask this is because of the pakistani community and family situations and perceptions dont seem to be right. I know the right thing to do would be to divorce but we have 2 children together and i would like to get out of this hastle free. I do not want this marriage to interfere with my next. I also accept that i will never be able to treat both wives fairly. I am very confused in my next steps in life and am not getting any straight answers from anyone regarding this issue.

I am sorry for the long message, but feel that you should know everything before you can comment fairly. Thank you for your time and patience regarding my issue.

Assalamou Alaikoum Warahmatou ALLAH Taala Wabarakatou,

Brother first of all i want you to delete your name and surname from the post as it could be a problem for you as you mentioned about you had several fake payslips and you know that if any immigration officier come by coincidence to this forum and he or she can take action against you

Second in the English law you cannot marry 2 wifes , Only one should be your wife

Third by divorcing your wife you will face to lose your children are you prepared for that and what will be your feelings towards the situation ?


Fourth by divorcing her you will lose the family support did you prepared your self for it ?

fifth it wasnt your wifes fault is your both families fault to force you both getting married and having a children so dont punish her with something wasnt her fault but it was her destiney

Sixth why cant you try to love your wife and get close to her if not for her but for your children and family gives her chances to become your dream wife
Believe me there is no differences between women and what guarantee to you that the women you loved will be miss perfect to you believe me if you marry her you will see her as any normal women as a wife and you will regret your ex wife and children and family and it will be only too late so please think good before any step , I am sure the women you loved does not loves you but she loves something on you could be your money or something to hide her self in because no women who loves somebody will allowed to him to get marry an other women as you mentioned she supported you to marry your wife , I dont believe her , She should give up after you had children , I dont know why some women likes to stay with a married man and destroy a family wife and children , Its really insecure and silly people who can do that and ALLAH SWT knows best

 

[cat eyes]

you were forced in to the marriage in the first place which is really very sad indeed i think brother you desperately need to talk with a scholar. i don't think you should take advice from just anyone when it comes to matters like this where kids are involved.

 

[TotalControl]

Asalaamu alakum.

In response to nulifier, apologies for not stating things better. I should have stated that the fake payslip issue is that of my Iman. I was doing jobs for someone else without knowledge of being paid. I.E. I was sent to do thiese jobs but did not understand at the time that my family wanted this done for me to receive payslips statings I am in work. To me, there is no acceptance of this as I did the job free of charge. The reasoning behind the payslips is somewhat immoral for me to accept as it was not 'paid work'. I understand the term is quite loose and can be misinterpreted very easily.

Also, as far as I understand, an unhappy distant family is a broken family anyway. The effects of which are a lot worse 'just for the name' of keeping and coinhabiting together. So if the rules set out by a Nikah cannot be obided by, then it is effectively a broken marriage and a voided Nikah. Please correct me if I am wrong though.

Family support was lost a long time ago. The ammount of apologies received can't really rectify an obvious issue. A father will do as much possible for his children to be secure. I understand that. But restrictions on being able to see children when the father is in a fit state of mind makes no sense. Islamicly or even under common sense.

Family has a lot of the blame on their shoulders. But responsibilty has to be taken where neccessary. If a fault has been made, then accept. Such is the beauty of life, you live and you learn. I am beyond perfect, as perfection is only with Allah (swt) himself.

Life is not just about love. It is about doing the right things. Love cannot be forced brother. Nor can a responsibilty you don't wish to take. You can only take on a responsibilty if you yourself are ready for it. Unfortunately, I am a little too late for this realisation. And believe me, there is a difference between women. Hence for the choices and psychoanalysis that goes on beforeand during a marriage. If you have a clash of personalities, do you think it will work with force? I give you the example of what I said in my previous post of my mife saying she hold 'novalue' to our Nikah papers and only to those that are under civil agreement. Do you morally think I should accept this? For her to see that there is no future regardless of how hard I have worked, do you think this is an acceptable procedure that has been written for us to manipulate within our lives under Islam? Astakhfirullah. I would not want to do anything that would now bite me on the day of judgement.

Miss perfect? There is no such thing. Every living creature has its flaw. These flaws exist due to the nature of the way Allah (swt) wanted them to be.

To sister cat eyes. Thank you for your response also. I have indeed spoken to a few people who have concluded that it is best for me to finalise what it is she wants. Please do not get me wrong. I can only lay down the hard facts with these people. I'm a man of faith now, not a barbarian of culture. I have tried to talk with her regarding volatile issues also. Ijust do not understand the catalyst behind such decisions.

After all, Allah (swt) knows best. I am just a pawn on the chess piece.

I do wish to include that Anything stated here is true. I do not want to come across as a 'keyboard warrior'. he past 2 years of my life have really and truly been an eye opener for me. I just wish to concentrate on the correct implications of Islam, hence why I am here.

Thank you all for your replies so far.

Wasalaam.

 

[amirebi]

سلام
you don't love her, she doesnot love you, and i think that in such this cold family, your children will have many problems in their future.
if you both agree on divorce, so do it, but be careful about your children. cause you 2 are not allowed to destroy their future.
and your parents are responsble, they forced you to marry sb on that 17 age ....!!!!

 

[amirebi]

سلام
you don't love her, she doesnot love you, and i think that in such this cold family, your children will have many problems in their future.
if you both agree on divorce, so do it, but be careful about your children. cause you 2 are not allowed to destroy their future.
and your parents are responsble, they forced you to marry sb when you were 17....!!!!

 

[TotalControl]

I fully understand brother. The situation is very volatile in regards to my children. I only want the best for them in this situation. No one else really matters.

 

[Khanurani]

I would like to introduce myself. My name is Ikram Hussain and i am 24 years old. I am a Sunni and my parents are of Pakistani descent from an area near to Rawalpindi. It has been about a year since my Iman has become a lot stronger and I thank Allah (SWT) for the strength he gives me to make my Iman even clearer. However, there are always going to be situations where you will have to learn Islam to understand it better. Hence why i am writing to you.

I have been married for 7 years now to my wife who is my cousin (her mother is my mothers sister and her father is my fathers brother. My mother and father are also cousins). She is five years older than me. We have two wonderful boys (4.5 and 3). The thing is, we have never really got on.

It all started on 20th March 2000 when my parents told me that i would be marrying in pakistan. I was 15! I did not want to marry but i was told to do it or leave (in nice words). My mother, father, uncle and aunty (not her parents, but her uncle and aunty also) all pressured me into this. Alas, on 27 July 2001 i went to pakistan and had my nuptual agreement. The situation wasnt nice but i gave in. With no sense of direction and no one to help.

The Nikah, as i understand, was done but i did notice my date of birth being changed to make me look 18 instead of 17. I did not sleep with her there and merely came back in the hope, and thought, that the worst was over and i would never have to think of it again. I was hidden from the truth of knowing what a marriage was and had nothing to be with her as i was still at school.

I have known another woman who is also muslim for 6 years and we both collectively have agreed that marriage is the way forward for us. We have strong feelings for each other and would inshallah like to continue them for the rest of our lifes. This woman is the same age as me and understands me very well. She has also in the past supported me with this marriage and stopped me from killing myself and given me the Iman i have with me today.

My wife came to England after 1.5 years and several dozen fake payslips for me later. Both of our children that have been born were both asked for by my wife. She did not listen to me as i told her i was not willing to have children yet. It got to a point where she cried and begged me for them. I gave in.

Fast forward to 2008 and just 1 month ago i have lost my daughter (at birth). It was expected but came about in the wrong way. This was done by our mistake as i was asleep on the last day of ramadan and stated i was fasting and did not want her to come near me. So she did, when i was asleep. It was stupid for me to break my fast how i did and regret it dearly. I did not want to have another child but my wife did not abort when we first found out (at 3 weeks) as she wanted to prove her point. It supposedly is the easy way to obtain a coucil house!

The situation now that arises is that i want to get married again to this other woman. However, if i just divorce my current wife from english law and keep the nikah, would this be valid as i do not wish to sleep with my current wife and have any responsibility over her. Reason being is because we both know that we are together for the children and the children only. The only reason i ask this is because of the pakistani community and family situations and perceptions dont seem to be right. I know the right thing to do would be to divorce but we have 2 children together and i would like to get out of this hastle free. I do not want this marriage to interfere with my next. I also accept that i will never be able to treat both wives fairly. I am very confused in my next steps in life and am not getting any straight answers from anyone regarding this issue.

I am sorry for the long message, but feel that you should know everything before you can comment fairly. Thank you for your time and patience regarding my issue.

errm...wow. i don't know what to say.
but good luck with whatever you choose to do!

 

[nilufer]

Asalaamu alakum.

In response to nulifier, apologies for not stating things better. I should have stated that the fake payslip issue is that of my Iman. I was doing jobs for someone else without knowledge of being paid. I.E. I was sent to do thiese jobs but did not understand at the time that my family wanted this done for me to receive payslips statings I am in work. To me, there is no acceptance of this as I did the job free of charge. The reasoning behind the payslips is somewhat immoral for me to accept as it was not 'paid work'. I understand the term is quite loose and can be misinterpreted very easily.

Also, as far as I understand, an unhappy distant family is a broken family anyway. The effects of which are a lot worse 'just for the name' of keeping and coinhabiting together. So if the rules set out by a Nikah cannot be obided by, then it is effectively a broken marriage and a voided Nikah. Please correct me if I am wrong though.

Family support was lost a long time ago. The ammount of apologies received can't really rectify an obvious issue. A father will do as much possible for his children to be secure. I understand that. But restrictions on being able to see children when the father is in a fit state of mind makes no sense. Islamicly or even under common sense.

Family has a lot of the blame on their shoulders. But responsibilty has to be taken where neccessary. If a fault has been made, then accept. Such is the beauty of life, you live and you learn. I am beyond perfect, as perfection is only with Allah (swt) himself.

Life is not just about love. It is about doing the right things. Love cannot be forced brother. Nor can a responsibilty you don't wish to take. You can only take on a responsibilty if you yourself are ready for it. Unfortunately, I am a little too late for this realisation. And believe me, there is a difference between women. Hence for the choices and psychoanalysis that goes on beforeand during a marriage. If you have a clash of personalities, do you think it will work with force? I give you the example of what I said in my previous post of my mife saying she hold 'novalue' to our Nikah papers and only to those that are under civil agreement. Do you morally think I should accept this? For her to see that there is no future regardless of how hard I have worked, do you think this is an acceptable procedure that has been written for us to manipulate within our lives under Islam? Astakhfirullah. I would not want to do anything that would now bite me on the day of judgement.

Miss perfect? There is no such thing. Every living creature has its flaw. These flaws exist due to the nature of the way Allah (swt) wanted them to be.

To sister cat eyes. Thank you for your response also. I have indeed spoken to a few people who have concluded that it is best for me to finalise what it is she wants. Please do not get me wrong. I can only lay down the hard facts with these people. I'm a man of faith now, not a barbarian of culture. I have tried to talk with her regarding volatile issues also. Ijust do not understand the catalyst behind such decisions.

After all, Allah (swt) knows best. I am just a pawn on the chess piece.

I do wish to include that Anything stated here is true. I do not want to come across as a 'keyboard warrior'. he past 2 years of my life have really and truly been an eye opener for me. I just wish to concentrate on the correct implications of Islam, hence why I am here.

Thank you all for your replies so far.

Wasalaam.

Brother i understand your feelings and what you suffered in the past but believe me even if you divorce your wife and get marry with the new fella you will still regret in the future especially when your children growing up full of hate to you also your family shame of you and you will discover that your new fella is the same normal wife like any wife even if shes physcally beautiful than your wife still there is other things to consider which makes you really hate her as well but it will be only too late do a favvor to your self delete your full name because as you said some people can missunderstand the fake payslips and they can take action and ALLAH SWT knows best

 

[cat eyes]

Brother i understand your feelings and what you suffered in the past but believe me even if you divorce your wife and get marry with the new fella you will still regret in the future especially when your children growing up full of hate to you also your family shame of you and you will discover that your new fella is the same normal wife like any wife even if shes physcally beautiful than your wife still there is other things to consider which makes you really hate her as well but it will be only too late do a favvor to your self delete your full name because as you said some people can missunderstand the fake payslips and they can take action and ALLAH SWT knows best

i don't think he has nothing to feel ashamed about!! he was forced in to a marriage at the age of only 15years old and pressured into having children. he was clearly not ready for marriage and a family. thats not a life for anybody to live. Allah gives rights to a human do you know that sister? to live a happy life with somebody who is compatible and attractive in there eyes. nobody should be forced into anything and my brother your children will NOT HATE you when you will tell them what happened to you and what you have been through if you teach them about islam and what is right and what is wrong they will never judge you and they will understand and sister be careful what you advise to others. this is a big issue which is not easy to understand unless you have been put into that position yourself

 

[nilufer]

i don't think he has nothing to feel ashamed about!! he was forced in to a marriage at the age of only 15years old and pressured into having children. he was clearly not ready for marriage and a family. thats not a life for anybody to live. Allah gives rights to a human do you know that sister? to live a happy life with somebody who is compatible and attractive in there eyes. nobody should be forced into anything and my brother your children will NOT HATE you when you will tell them what happened to you and what you have been through if you teach them about islam and what is right and what is wrong they will never judge you and they will understand and sister be careful what you advise to others. this is a big issue which is not easy to understand unless you have been put into that position yourself

Listen to be forced for a marriage is not also his wifes fault she was forced as well and the children will be in the custody of the mother if he divorce her as he will get marry an other women and thats the law if you have some information about the international law of children custody when a man or woman decide to get marry , the custody always goes to the single parents and he will not have the chance to teach them to love him only the mother she will teach them how to hate the father and i know what iam saying and stop your criticise it does not help you at all

 

[cat eyes]

Listen to be forced for a marriage is not also his wifes fault she was forced as well and the children will be in the custody of the mother if he divorce her as he will get marry an other women and thats the law if you have some information about the international law of children custody when a man or woman decide to get marry , the custody always goes to the single parents and he will not have the chance to teach them to love him only the mother she will teach them how to hate the father and i know what iam saying and stop your criticise it does not help you at all

i can assure you it dose help me! to tell another muslim that he should feel ashamed for the position that hes in is down right spiteful and evil and he should be made to live in an unhappy situation hes whole life?? and i wont stand back and watch a person being criticised like that for something thats not his fault. so ''little miss know it all'' get down of your high horse and WAKE UP and learn a few things how to treat others. the custody dose not always go to the single parents. the father has as much rights as the mother. it might be that they will get shared custody. what evidence has she got against him that hes a bad father?? its nearly 2010 now not 1960's once the judge hears his side of the story and what hes been through. the judge will make his decision and not you

 

[nilufer]

i can assure you it dose help me! to tell another muslim that he should feel ashamed for the position that hes in is down right spiteful and evil and he should be made to live in an unhappy situation hes whole life?? and i wont stand back and watch a person being criticised like that for something thats not his fault. so ''little miss know it all'' get down of your high horse and WAKE UP and learn a few things how to treat others. the custody dose not always go to the single parents. the father has as much rights as the mother. it might be that they will get shared custody. what evidence has she got against him that hes a bad father?? its nearly 2010 now not 1960's once the judge hears his side of the story and what hes been through. the judge will make his decision and not you

They are living in a european country a modern country and a country who gave more rights to the women than the men and even in the islam ALLAH SWT gave us more rights , I can see that you dont have any idea about the law anyway the mother will have the custody as he will be the only one who wants to divorce her and she does not want to divorce him which the law will reward her with children custody , he may see his children only once a week but the rest days will be with the mother , I know about the law and i cannot tell you my position and stop insulting the people you dont know anything about them plus as i told you before you are a negative person and you need to see a psychologue believe me ALLAH SWT knows best

 

[Rabi'ya]

when my parents got divorced the choice was given to the child as to who they stayed with(this depends on the age of the kids mind). Also, who says that they will only have visitation once a week. if the parents can amicably settle out of the court it may be just as easy. my dad used to see my brother almost every day and after he left school they worked together too. my dad STILL visits my mum now and then for a coffee. i know this isnt the muslim way of life, but im just saying that even though things were bad enough for them to get divorced it doesnt mean that they have to be enemies. they can be civil for the sake of the kids!

 

[LaRocque]

I just want to assure you that it is indeed very harmful for children to grow up in a household full of tension and resentment. My parents stayed together because of me and they were miserable. It escalated into violence and because of the things I saw and heard I have a very hard time trusting others, especially men. I cannot imagine the way you must be feeling right now, and I am very sorry that things have gotten to this point for you. It is wrong of her to use the children against you. They are very young and will not understand the situation for several years to come, but when they get a bit older and are able to understand they will NOT hate you. No child wants their parents to be unhappy, and if you explain to them the situation and your unhappiness they will not resent you. It may take some time, but they WILL eventually understand.

 

[cat eyes]

They are living in a european country a modern country and a country who gave more rights to the women than the men and even in the islam ALLAH SWT gave us more rights , I can see that you dont have any idea about the law anyway the mother will have the custody as he will be the only one who wants to divorce her and she does not want to divorce him which the law will reward her with children custody , he may see his children only once a week but the rest days will be with the mother , I know about the law and i cannot tell you my position and stop insulting the people you dont know anything about them plus as i told you before you are a negative person and you need to see a psychologue believe me ALLAH SWT knows best

you don't know what you are even talking about, you are the one throwing the insults and telling the oppressed that they should feel ashamed. what a horrible situation he ended up in and here you are telling him to feel ashamed your the one that needs to learn knowledge about islam its so clear from your every post that you have wrote on IB. I Mean if i am not going to tell you, nobody will!! you need to be corrected and put in your place. i suppose next you are going to make the lie of being a lawyer now lol i also live in Europe i have my own solicitor i can assure you i am aware of my rights and the rights of others now i am sincerely telling the OP to seek advice from a scholar and at the same time his duas will help you in your fight to see your children and so will mine inshaAllah.

 

[cat eyes]

I just want to assure you that it is indeed very harmful for children to grow up in a household full of tension and resentment. My parents stayed together because of me and they were miserable. It escalated into violence and because of the things I saw and heard I have a very hard time trusting others, especially men. I cannot imagine the way you must be feeling right now, and I am very sorry that things have gotten to this point for you. It is wrong of her to use the children against you. They are very young and will not understand the situation for several years to come, but when they get a bit older and are able to understand they will NOT hate you. No child wants their parents to be unhappy, and if you explain to them the situation and your unhappiness they will not resent you. It may take some time, but they WILL eventually understand.

exactly your kids will never hate you when they will be older they will understand and explain to them what you have been through. i know, i have seen it many times. what a sensible piece of advice.

 

[nilufer]

you don't know what you are even talking about, you are the one throwing the insults and telling the oppressed that they should feel ashamed. what a horrible situation he ended up in and here you are telling him to feel ashamed your the one that needs to learn knowledge about islam its so clear from your every post that you have wrote on IB. I Mean if i am not going to tell you, nobody will!! you need to be corrected and put in your place. i suppose next you are going to make the lie of being a lawyer now lol i also live in Europe i have my own solicitor i can assure you i am aware of my rights and the rights of others now i am sincerely telling the OP to seek advice from a scholar and at the same time his duas will help you in your fight to see your children and so will mine inshaAllah.

If you are a muslim person and really good muslin person you will not push this man to divorce his wife because in the islam there is something we call it esslah between the husband and wife but you want it as a fitna , I wonder if your husband wants to divorce you and get marry an other women how will you feel then you will understand what iam talking about so think before you talk and dont make comments on my posts otherwise you will not like what you will hear

 

[nilufer]

If you are a muslim person and really good muslin person you will not push this man to divorce his wife because in the islam there is something we call it esslah between the husband and wife but you want it as a fitna , I wonder if your husband wants to divorce you and get marry an other women how will you feel then you will understand what iam talking about so think before you talk and dont make comments on my posts otherwise you will not like what you will hear and the one who need to be corrected is you and not me be carefull what you are saying

 

[cat eyes]

If you are a muslim person and really good muslin person you will not push this man to divorce his wife because in the islam there is something we call it esslah between the husband and wife but you want it as a fitna , I wonder if your husband wants to divorce you and get marry an other women how will you feel then you will understand what iam talking about so think before you talk and dont make comments on my posts otherwise you will not like what you will hear

how on earth do you know whether he is entilted to divorce or not?? are u a scholar? do you know his wife?? are you in his position?? did you read that she is giving him threats and insulting his imaan and on top of all of this he was forced into this marriage from a very early age. imagine what the atmosphere is like for there kids.. constantly fighting, have you any idea?? you clearly have not read none of his posts at all you are just throwing out whatever silly thing that comes into your brain. now i wonder what you are going to say next ha maybe that you are knower of all holy Qur'an and you know every single hadith also. if were ruler of the world and making the decisions everybody would be miserable