Marriages not being approved

[h-n]

The problem lies with people not reading the Quran and remembering Allah and the Day of Judgement.

If you want to get married to another Muslim, then certainly remain strong, and get married. As no other Muslim should be preventing another Muslim from marrying another, that is unIslamic. Did not the companions of the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him also get married to who they wanted? Yes people say talk about Guardian, but you can't blindly listen to him, when clearly the Guardian is not following Islam. For if he feared Allah, he would certainly not be opposing people wanting to get married. You test is paramount (your duty lies with yourself passing your own test ( to do what it takes to pass), not duty to other who frankly will not care about you on the Day of Judgement, you worshipping Allah and being his servant comes first. Marriages are accepted by Allah, even if your Guardian does not approve. As Allah is Merciful and Compassionate. I have provided reasons below.

Getting married to someone you don't like

If you get married to someone you don't like, you are the one who will be living with him, sleeping with him (so of course no one should tell you who to get married to). If you die, you potentially stay married to that person forever in the next world-so certainly you have to remain strong, and no matter the oppostion as I see it, your not only fighting what you want in this world but also what you want in the next world!

Even there was a case that I heard where a Mother forced her daughter to get married, she spat on the photo that she was shown of her future husband, and she was beaten up, now years down the line they have four children, and still together. The Mother is very pleased with this arrangement. Absolutely the end does NOT justify the means. This is on her bad record that she forced her daughter to get married.

Treat daughters like princesses, afterall even the women in Paradise aren't forced to get married!!

In Paradise

What about if your parents met the person that you wished to get married in this world. If you asked your parents if they would have had any objections if you married in Paradise the answer is No!! So it is your parents and others forgetting the life of the next world.

If your parents had more children, they would not be oppressing their children and saying they can't get married to who they want in Paradise, so why be constrained on Earth? When you are marrying another Muslim.

Of course if you both made it to Paradise, your parents will certainly not be complaining of your choice of husband/wife.

Sexual relationships

Your parents are being selfish. They already should be aware, of course about people's sexual desires (having already had a sexual relationship themselves), so they should not be preventing another from having sex without commiting a sin.

I am not impressed that parents ask for some to marry someone from another country and they have to wait to get a VISA, and wait to actually be with their husband/wife. To me its a joke.

Test

This is your life, its your test, if your ready to get married and you fear committing a sin, then be strong and go for getting married. Your parents cannot say that you have to wait for years to have a sexual relationship with someone and make your life a misery. You are responsible for how you are and what you do.

Allah is testing you and seeing what you can do. We respect parents, but that does not mean that we do everything they ask us to do. Then what is the point of having our own minds and bodies?? If you can't even say who you want to have sex with, then what they hell is the point of being an individual?

You don't want to just say on the Day of Judgement, that I did this, and this, and this and never anything else because that is what my parents wanted. As people wished they pushed on, and remained strong and steadfast and fought off any criticism.

Your parents are not going to care about it on the Day of Judgement. They are not going to complain that you got married to so and so. This is a joke, even a women approached the Prophet asking him to marry her, people did not say she had to go through a Wali. Even Prophets chose who to get married to.

Be strong as you don't have to go through anyone to become a Muslim, to be accepted by Allah. You shouldn't have to be forced to defend what you need and want to do in Islam that is right!! If they force you to, then be strong and push on to get married, You will regret not doing this in the next world and listening to society rubbish!! All your parents opposition will look stupid on the Day of Judgement.

To stand up strong as Men and Women, being mature and responsible and seeking marriages and not being forced to whine and act as children to your parents, to seek what is right and lawful!! Stand up strong, you will not regret doing this, what you will regret is not doing it!!!

Follow up from the "Society Evils" thread

 

[Rhubarb Tart]

Mashallah!!! I like what you have written!!! great advise!

But one thing though, most scholar if not all say that a muslim woman (a virgin in particular) has to have Wali (usually the father) permission. what do you have to say that?

 

[h-n]

Mashallah!!! I like what you have written!!! great advise!

But one thing though, most scholar if not all say that a muslim woman (a virgin in particular) has to have Wali (usually the father) permission. what do you have to say that?

1. The same the virgin's first duty is to herself passing her test. So she should recognise that her Guardian is breaking the rules of not allowing her to get married to another Muslims. She certainly does not need to listen to people who are not being religious, because if she listened to him, she is following something unIslamic.

2. If she cannot get approval to marry another Muslim, she can still get married as it was unIslamic to stop her, should she follow rules which are not Islamic? No. The marriage is still recognised by Allah, as he is Merciful and Compassionate.

3. So the fact is, is she listening to the Wali first or to Islamic rules? If the Wali was being Islamic he would never have refused, so if he refuses she can still get married and she is still following what is Islamic, and the marriage is valid!! The is no difference being don't bother thinking do that other Islamic thing, as I forbid it to you. You wouldn't listen to Satan telling you not to pray first before eating. How can someone forbid you something that is lawful? They cannot and you wouldn't be doing an Islamic thing by following them. Do not, and never listen to people first, listen to Islam first!!

To go through a Wali, was to protect the women, but there is nothing to say they have the right to make something unlawful which is lawful, they do not have the right to decline what clearly is the right for her to get married to another Muslim.

No Muslim who fears Allah and the Last Day would ever refuse. So don't listen to people who don't fear Allah and the Last Day, as you will be regretting it.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

good thread.

i do disagree however with the way you have spoken about parents by using such terms as "Your parents are being selfish."

and this:

If you die, you potentially stay married to that person forever in the next world-so certainly you have to remain strong, and no matter the oppostion as I see it, your not only fighting what you want in this world but also what you want in the next world!

i want some strong solid evidences as to why you will stay married to your partner of this life, in the hereafter if you don't want them.

Treat daughters like princesses, afterall even the women in Paradise aren't forced to get married!!

ditto that. but not to the extreme, because then they become spoilt-like princesses.

 

[h-n]

good thread.

i do disagree however with the way you have spoken about parents by using such terms as "Your parents are being selfish."

and this:

i want some strong solid evidences as to why you will stay married to your partner of this life, in the hereafter if you don't want them.



ditto that. but not to the extreme, because then they become spoilt-like princesses.

1. I wouldn't change a thing about what I said about parents, frankly they listen to society rather then Islam, they are being selfish and not looking out for the interests of who their children want to marry. Its absolutely disrespectful and has tough repercussions on the individuals involved etc. They are being selfish, they were young, they know that people want to get married etc.

I will never take it back. I already discussed this a bit more in "Society evils" threads. Of course they are selfish, they rather consider what they want rather what their children want, even some parents resorting to emotional blackmail, by telling their children that they are the source of their anguish etc. So they are happy to talk about how they feel, but dismiss how their children feel. Happy to push on and talk about what they want, but dismiss what their children want. So that by definition is being selfish, to not consider other people, but your own wants. I don't care for excuses about looking after the child's best interest, frankly you don't do anything to get your child to marry and potentially have sex with someone they don't want to be with, that is also abusive.

They want to be respected as parents, then they should act as parents, just as people who want to be treated with respect then respect others. I am not endorsing disrepect but honesty, and I am sure that if they are capable of forcing someone to get married then they are not "innocent", sure they can handle being told the truth, after all their daughters for example would have gone through a lot worse, ie by being raped.

Being a parent does not suddenly make you immune from any criticism.

So NEVER, I will take it back. For all those people who suffered, I will never back down from my stance.

2. Also I said potentially, because of course people who do get married with their parent's persuasion may end up liking their husband/wife.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

1. I wouldn't change a thing about what I said about parents, frankly they listen to society rather then Islam, they are being selfish and not looking out for the interests of who their children want to marry. Its absolutely disrespectful and has tough repercussions on the individuals involved etc. They are being selfish, they were young, they know that people want to get married etc.

that's enough lady. you don't have to agree with what they do, but mind your tongue. are you looking out for their interests when you speak about them like this?

They want to be respected as parents, then they should act as parents, just as people who want to be treated with respect then respect others. I am not endorsing disrepect but honesty, and I am sure that if they are capable of forcing someone to get married then they are not "innocent", sure they can handle being told the truth, after all their daughters for example would have gone through a lot worse, ie by being raped.

and this is the ideal model of a child is it? its this reason exactly that they may disregard our opinions, because we disregard theirs.
i take it you would speak to your own parents like this?

Being a parent does not suddenly make you immune from any criticism.

when you become a parent, i look forward to your posts.

 

[h-n]

that's enough lady. you don't have to agree with what they do, but mind your tongue. are you looking out for their interests when you speak about them like this?
and this is the ideal model of a child is it? its this reason exactly that they may disregard our opinions, because we disregard theirs.
i take it you would speak to your own parents like this?
when you become a parent, i look forward to your posts.

Don't have to agree with?? What do you mean mind my tongue? Have a been swearing?? They are being abusive and selfish, which cannot be denied.

This thread is for the children placed in difficult situations by the parents, of course I'm not thinking of the parent's interest in this thread.

Again, just because one is a parent, that does not meant that you can never have any critical comments. I am not advocating being rude, I am advocating people be strong and stand up for themselves.

I am strong, that does not make me rude, its about time we had some balance anyway, instead of it all being one sided. Why don't you tell that to the daughters who have been raped???

I am not going to be a parent in this world, I am no longer married and look forward to the next world. I will NEVER be making a life as people call it in this world.

If I was a parent, I wouldn't be abusive to my daughter and force her to get married.

Speak to my Mother honestly (father's already passed away), she does not have an issue with me and does not call me rude. Also there is still nothing wrong with what I said and how I said it.

Its is stupid that people sometimes resort to asking well you would not like it if you were the parent-what has that got to do with anything? Would you tell me not to be critical of an abuser, because I might become one??

There is no need to ask stupid questions about how to treat parents, and frankly people are already aware about treating others with kindness, even I don't go into talking about that, as I don't treat people like if they are stupid, hence my threads are the way they are. So instead of trying to talk down to me, when I am not immature, I would quit commenting on things which everyone already knows about!!!

I will NEVER take it back, I can safely repeat it all on the Day of Judgement, whilst the parents are embarrassed.

If they can force people to get married, then they can absolutely take criticism, and be told the truth, its not more then what their daughter is putting up with. Is she supposed to ask nicely instead of the fact that maybe she can't help screaming, being placed in an abusive situation??

Instead of derailing this thread you can create another one.

I will absolutely NEVER take anything back and will NEVER apologise, and to be told not to mention so and so, when this is what a forum is for, I am not here to be quiet about issues, but to talk about them. If you can't handle it there is no need to comment about it.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

Don't have to agree with?? What do you mean mind my tongue? Have a been swearing?? They are being abusive and selfish.

you don't have to be swearing to be rude. being sarcastic can sometimes be rude...just giving an example.

This thread is for the children placed in difficult situations by the parents, of course I'm not thinking of the parent's interest in this thread.

why dont you encourage people to stand for their rights whilst at the same time being respectful to parents. you will get your point across better that way imo.

Again, just because one is a parent, that does not meant that you can never have any critical comments.

i don't recall stating otherwise. there is such thing to get your point across with out "shooting down" others.

I am not advocating being rude, I am advocating people be strong and stand up for themselves.

that is also important

I am strong, that does not make me rude, its about time we had some balance anyway, instead of it all being one sided. Why don't you tell that to the daughters who have been raped???

if you are at all suggesting that i advocate for women being raped, then it really is time you bite your tongue.

I am not going to be a parent in this world,

thats quite sad =)

I am no longer married and look forward to the next world. I will NEVER be making a life as people call it in this world.

all the best=)

If I was a parent, I wouldn't be abusive to my daughter and force her to get married.

good for you. that's the correct attitude to adopt.

Its is stupid that people sometimes resort to asking well you would not like it if you were the parent-what has that got to do with anything? Would you tell me not to be critical of an abuser, because I might become one??

everything. you know the sacrifices and the heart ache and physical pain of sacrificing your days and nights for your child and so having someone come to you, pointing their finger saying "i am critical of you" well im sure you would want to punch them.

If they can force people to get married, then they can absolutely take criticism, and be told the truth, its not more then what their daughter is putting up with.

see reply to second quote.

Instead of derailing this thread you can create another one.

i dont feel it necessary.

There is no need to ask stupid questions about how to treat parents, and frankly people are already aware.

you could have fooled me. asking questions about how to treat parents is far from stupid. and the comment you made about me is also far fetched.

 

[h-n]

you don't have to be swearing to be rude. being sarcastic can sometimes be rude...just giving an example.

why dont you encourage people to stand for their rights whilst at the same time being respectful to parents. you will get your point across better that way imo.
i don't recall stating otherwise. there is such thing to get your point across with out "shooting down" others.
that is also important
if you are at all suggesting that i advocate for women being raped, then it really is time you bite your tongue.
thats quite sad =)
all the best=)good for you. that's the correct attitude to adopt.
everything. ou know the sacrifices and the heart ache and physical pain of sacrificing your days and nights for your child and so having someone come to you, pointing their finger saying "i am critical of you" well im sure you would want to punch them.
see reply to second quote.
i dont feel it necessary.
you could have fooled me. asking questions about how to treat parents is far from stupid. and the comment you made about me is also far fetched.

I will not be changing how I write, and frankly its fine, it give what I am saying in a clear, direct to the point way.

You quickly mentioned about being a parent, so quickly your thinking of yourself or being a parent when clearly this thread is for the children. So I suggest you stop making it about parents, you are free to open a new thread about parents. Its is also selfish to quickly make what is a serious issue to something else. As you are drawing attention away from the people that need it to people who frankly already have it, and are misusing it, as stated you don't have a no critical free card as soon as you become a parent.

You get your reward from Allah, not to remind your children so that they are going to do whatever you ask of them. Its your idea of having children, that does not mean that your children cannot mention anything that you don't like. If your parenting is so successful then you wouldn't feel threatened by children talking about such and such.

The children are entrusted to people by Allah, they belong to him. So you have to respect your children as well as children respecting their parents too.

I am happy and content with were I am in life and happy to leave this world too. It is very easy, as anyone who sees this world as a prison would be able to tell you.

 

[Salahudeen]

Mashallah!!! I like what you have written!!! great advise!

But one thing though, most scholar if not all say that a muslim woman (a virgin in particular) has to have Wali (usually the father) permission. what do you have to say that?

The wali is not allowed to refuse without a valid reason, if the person is pious and has good character then he has to say yes and its upto the girl if she wants to get married to the person or not. Of course this is not how it is in todays world, wali's refuse simply because of race, cast, tribe, nationality and this is not right. If the man is pious and has a good character then he can't refuse without a valid reason. If only this was praticed in todays world

Also I'm pretty sure only virgins/girls who are getting married for the first time need their wali's permission. Women who are divorced don't.

Also as brother Zafran said, Hanafi scholars say the girl does not need a wali to get married even if she is a virgin/getting married for the first time. However I don't know which is the correct opinion out of the 4 madhabs. Allah hu alam.

 

[cat eyes]

id go with the hanafi opinon on it. its seems fair. but the four imams are also correct but there also only humans too.

Sister h-n good thread mashallah

lets say ''NO'' to forced marriages

and be free to live our own life according to the Qur'an and sunnah.

 

[Zafran]

Also as brother Zafran said, Hanafi scholars say the girl does not need a wali to get married even if she is a virgin/getting married for the first time. However I don't know which is the correct opinion out of the 4 madhabs. Allah hu alam.

salaam

all 4 are correct as all 4 have proofs for there positions.

peace

 

[syed_z]

A Reply for H-N

You quickly mentioned about being a parent, so quickly your thinking of yourself or being a parent when clearly this thread is for the children. So I suggest you stop making it about parents, you are free to open a new thread about parents.

As you are drawing attention away from the people that need it to people who frankly already have it, and are misusing it, as stated you don't have a no critical free card as soon as you become a parent.

Okay and your Religion shows as Muslim....interesting... and you have no respect what so ever on HOW to speak 1st of all in Islamic Board... 2nd.. you don't know any thing about Subject of Parents...

i have a Hadith that is for you... Muhammad (saw) said... "Actions without Knowledge is Misguidance..." ...and so i clearly CAN see the effect of this Hadith in your speech , in your Posts...

1st of all lets see what the Quran has to say about Parents ? shall we..


(31:14) Show Gratitude to me and to your Parents.

(6:151) Join not anything with Him and be good to your Parents.


(17:23-24) Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be KIND to your parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in Your life, say not to them A Word of CONTEMPT, nor REPEL them, but address them in terms of Honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of Humility, and say "My Lord! Bestow on them mercy even as they cherish me in my childhood."


Parent Love is part of Divine Love, as Allah (Swt) chose them as Means of you to be in this World.... also do you see H-N as to why Allah (swt) mentions obeying and listening to His commands always occurs together with obeying the commands of the Parents ? It can be clearly seen as to How much Importance Does Allah (swt) give parents !! And those like You who do not give respect, as is evident from this Thread... are completely Ignorant or Blind i should say!!


As is also evident from many other places in the Quran, that Parents are to be Obeyed, even though they are NON BELIEVERS! The only place where Quran say don't obey them is , if they try to make you associate Partners in Worship... only then! Otherwise you respect and love them and pray for them even if they are non-Muslims...

The children are entrusted to people by Allah, they belong to him. So you have to respect your children as well as children respecting their parents too.

The way you said about Children being Respected by Parents 1st sounds like Parents need Parenting by children... .. you are so not right! Parents give brith to children and parents take care of Children as Parenting is done by parents and CHildren need to learn from parents and they need to learn how to respect parents so that they are trained according to Islam on Moral Level..... i feel sorry for your mother..... i think you probably "teach" her more than she teaches you even though You are completely ignorant and egoistic in your attitude..... Be Humble... learn how to be humble.....

Be strong as you don't have to go through anyone to become a Muslim, to be accepted by Allah. You shouldn't have to be forced to defend what you need and want to do in Islam that is right!! If they force you to, then be strong and push on to get married, You will regret not doing this in the next world and listening to society rubbish!! All your parents opposition will look stupid on the Day of Judgement.

Don't have to agree with?? What do you mean mind my tongue? Have a been swearing?? They are being abusive and selfish, which cannot be denied.

Clearly Rejecting the Verses of Quran... clearly... 1st of All talking about Parents and using words like "stupid"... May Allah guide you, and i doubt you probably even know any thing about Islam....

(6:151)....be good to your Parents.


and you use words like Stupid.... clearly going against What Allah (swt) says...

(17:23) ...Say NOT to them a Word of Contempt, nor repel them, but address them interms of Honor ......

This thread is for the children placed in difficult situations by the parents, of course I'm not thinking of the parent's interest in this thread.

Again, just because one is a parent, that does not meant that you can never have any critical comments. I am not advocating being rude, I am advocating people be strong and stand up for themselves.

I am strong, that does not make me rude, its about time we had some balance anyway, instead of it all being one sided. Why don't you tell that to the daughters who have been raped???

(31:14)...show gratitude to Me and to your Parents...


When Allah (swt) chooses Parents as MOST important to be for Muslims, after Him, then How dare you make Parents as some one to be ignored COMPLETELY in making of a Child's Future ... who gave you the authority ? I see what you trying to do...

You are not strong you are weak... because whisperings of Devils are making you think you are "right" and everyones wrong...and this will not cause balance, rather imbalance for your own self and others....

There is no need to ask stupid questions about how to treat parents, and frankly people are already aware about treating others with kindness, even I don't go into talking about that, as I don't treat people like if they are stupid, hence my threads are the way they are. So instead of trying to talk down to me, when I am not immature, I would quit commenting on things which everyone already knows about!!!

I will NEVER take it back, I can safely repeat it all on the Day of Judgement, whilst the parents are embarrassed.

i have a Verse for you...

(7:200) And if it happens that a prompting from Satan should stir you up (to anger), seek refuge with Allah. He is All-Hearing, All-Knowing.


Your way of talking, posting, giving opinions on Religious Issues totally against what Quran teaches us .... that is NOT the way to address Issues on Islam... and i very well remember that you are the same Person who had typed that ebing Friendly with Disbelievers, is Haraam, even though Quran mentions NOT to be befriend those who are not hostile towards the Muslims.....now once again you argue like you know everything!

2. If she cannot get approval to marry another Muslim, she can still get married as it was unIslamic to stop her, should she follow rules which are not Islamic? No. The marriage is still recognised by Allah, as he is Merciful and Compassionate.

3. So the fact is, is she listening to the Wali first or to Islamic rules? If the Wali was being Islamic he would never have refused, so if he refuses she can still get married and she is still following what is Islamic, and the marriage is valid!! The is no difference being don't bother thinking do that other Islamic thing, as I forbid it to you. You wouldn't listen to Satan telling you not to pray first before eating. How can someone forbid you something that is lawful? They cannot and you wouldn't be doing an Islamic thing by following them. Do not, and never listen to people first, listen to Islam first!!

To go through a Wali, was to protect the women, but there is nothing to say they have the right to make something unlawful which is lawful, they do not have the right to decline what clearly is the right for her to get married to another Muslim.

To go through a Wali, was to protect the women

.......it was not a WAS, it still is... Islam teachings are still to be followed, and yes women need protection from Walis (Guardians) , don't make it sound like it is Outdated!

1st of all many girls are young and inexperienced and they might be choosing some one for themselves, which parents might know not to be a good person, who might be good person according to their understanding.... so should the parents not stop them... ? Should the parents not stop their children from Jumping off the roof, just because the child does not know what shes doing.... ... or if they stopped them , then would that also be "forcing" according to you.....

Not ONE statement from Quran and Sunnah have you given to back up your Misguided claims... not a single... you expect every one to believe whatever you post just because your Status says "sister in Islam"...



(2:216)....and you dislike it; it may be that you dislike a thing and the same is good for you, and you love a thing and the same is bad for you: Allah knows but you do not.


There is also an example like you gave one, that a girl married a boy with her parents choice, and was not happy at 1st... but later he treated her Like princess, and she thanked Allah (swt) for giving Her such Husband and prayed for Mercy for her Parents because they Acted like the Best Guardians (Walis) for her...and made for her the best decision regarding her future.... while she also realized that if she would have made her decision , that could have ended her with the wrong type of person....

Children are NOT fully mature and experienced while parents are, thats why Allah gives you to their care, sometimes kids might not like something, which is actually good for them...

To stand up strong as Men and Women, being mature and responsible and seeking marriages and not being forced to whine and act as children to your parents, to seek what is right and lawful!! Stand up strong, you will not regret doing this, what you will regret is not doing it!!!

My Message to all Brothers/sister who read this Post please do not follow what ever she says... because she hasn't produced any references for all her Beliefs regarding how to deal with parents, neither has she produced any Tradition (sunnah) as evidence in favor of her Subject... shes making it sound more rebellious rather than deal with a Situation in an Islamic Humble manner.... please read careful what i write about Family Ties...


(13:25) And those who Break the Covenant of Allah, after its ratification, and sever that which Allah has commanded to be joined (i.e they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their parents, brothers,sisters), and work mischief in the land, on them is the curse, and for them is the unhappy home(i.e Hell)


A cursed person is deprived of the Mercy of Allah (swt). It is deprivation of the Mercy, which makes one live in an unhappy state in this World as well as the Hereafter. As i did mention all those Verses above , in which Allah has made it crystal clear, that without your parents being happy with you, you cannot gain Mercy of Allah and acceptance of Allah.Would we like to keep ourselves away from Mercy of Allah (Swt) ?!?


"There is no sin more deserving of having punishment, meted out by Allah to its perpetrator, in advance in this World along with what He stores up for him in the next world than oppression and severing family ties." (Tirmizi)


Since we are all against Injustice , and Muhammad (saw) mentioned that severing family ties is equivalent of that, then we should also think before we raise our voice with our parents, before we argue and behave rudely with them, before we tell them what is right and what is wrong in a way as if we know every thing and they don't know any thing, and in the end we leave those ones who cared for us all their lives, suffered pain for us.... just for the sake of a New Guy we met ???


I am not saying forced marriage is right, but the thread and all info posted here talking about "Rights of Children" is clearly rebelling against God and ones Parents, just for the sake of satisfying oneself....


Message for H-N.....


(49:1)... do not advance before Allah and His Messenger, and fear Allah. Verily Allah is All-Hearing, All-Knowing

(49:2) Believers, do not raise your voices above the voice of the Prophet and when speaking to him do not speak aloud as you speak aloud to one another, lest all your deeds are reduced to nothing without your even realising it.



do not argue against what Allah (swt) and His Messenger (saw) has already taught and ordered us to do, if we try changing the teachings as ordained by Allah (swt) and Muhammad (Saw), it might reduce our deeds to NOTHING.....when Allah (Swt) has given Parents a Status that is NEXT to Him, would we like to change it for a principle of Islam, which is less important in the eyes of Allah (swt)....



sorry for the long Post, but we are An Ummah which Should Enjoin What is right and FORBID what is wrong...

 

[Insecured soul]

1st of all lets see what the Quran has to say about Parents ? shall we..


(31:14) Show Gratitude to me and to your Parents.

(6:151) Join not anything with Him and be good to your Parents.


(17:23-24) Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be KIND to your parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in Your life, say not to them A Word of CONTEMPT, nor REPEL them, but address them in terms of Honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of Humility, and say "My Lord! Bestow on them mercy even as they cherish me in my childhood."

well i guess i dont get it right?... does this mean u should obey parents even if they are acting out of sharia?

i understand well parents should be respected the most, however marriage is an important thing the girl should be willing and happy to get married to the guy if she isnt then what is the point?

do u know the divorce rate was way too high at the time of sahabah becoz they wouldnt date and wait to see if the person is compatible, they would rather marry and understand the person and divorce if they are not happy, they saw marriage as a relationship of two souls.

now if a women divorce's, would u marry her? if ur answer happens to be yes then know that there are thousands of muslim men wouldnt marry a divorce women
and i guess prophet pbuh said dont force women into marriage let them choose??

i guess the root cause of this people are not following sharia... if they would, such things will not happen

and allah knows the best

 

[Cabdullahi]

sister h-n is not messing around....some good points and nice colour coding!

 

[cat eyes]

sister h-n is not messing around....some good points and nice colour coding!

LOL i just knew u were going to say that, u make humor out of every thread u post on

 

[h-n]

A Reply for H-N QUOTE]


I have the upmost respect, because if I did not, I certainly would not have learnt what I know today, which is certainly better then ending up as parents who force their children to marry against their will.

My Mother accepts me the way I am.

At least my Mother does not have a complete bore as a daughter. I certainly am not going to waste time talking about things that people already know. Which is what your doing!!!!

I will NEVER back down from my stance, when a daughter gets raped, you want me to say what about their parents that they are good and clever? Instead of being evil and stupid??

If I am so wrong, then go ahead and refute everything that I have written. You have nothing, as you clearly avoided even talking about children being ill treated by their parents. If you ill treat your child, it goes on your bad record, it is not ignored by Allah, which is what you like to have done!!!

Taking out on me on this thread, because you were wrong on another. Has already mentioned that we are not treating non-Muslims in an ill way, but that does not mean that we are friends. Also people are rejecting Islam. So it is not for me to be friends with the sinners when they are rejecting what Prophet Noah peace be upon him’s message.

Go ahead and make friends with the lewd, homosexual people. AS already mentioned if you read the Quran, there is no way that Allah is teaching us that we are friends with non-Muslims, why even the angels don’t care about them. Get your facts right, instead of derailing this thread go and open another one to talk about this. Which I am absolutely right in what I have said. You have failed to recognise its not just about people who fight physically against us, then why bother complaining about the cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him. Many people today have already rejected Islam, as people have done aforetime. They are no different to people in the past.

Well the Wali WAS there to protect, clearly that is no longer present with people today,

Everything in the Earths and Heavens belongth to Allah!! Including children.

Rights of children, are you saying they don’t have any?? Again if they treat children badly it goes on their bad record, Allah records everything. Just because people did not want to look at the whole picture as it benefited those has that is the only way they got married, by these stupid parents.

It was the parents choice to have children, the child cannot give what the parent has provided, you get your reward from Allah. We have separate bodies and minds. Allah has allowed us to be different, and to have different personalities. Allah has NEVER said that we have to do everything our parents ask us to do. Even if we did, we cannot blame our parents on the Day of Judgement, when we have not made it to Paradise. Allah is testing us individually.

If a child cannot at least be capable of choosing to get married to, then frankly they shouldn’t be told to get married to so and so. As the parents are already treating them like if they are immature. You get married as adults, because your responsible and mature!!
If you can’t choose who to marry, and frankly who to have sex with, then what is the point of having any other decisions in your life?? That takes a huge chunk out of your life, and frankly you would be staying married for that person for years. So of course it should be the child’s decision.

Also just thinking of using anything, as you have nothing. The verse that you quoted from the Quran;-

(2:216)....and you dislike it; it may be that you dislike a thing and the same is good for you, and you love a thing and the same is bad for you: Allah knows but you do not.

is referring to people WHO have already are married!!!

Severing family ties?? Forcing someone to get married is about keeping them? When its likely that they have forced the child to get married to someone, and their parents may die and no longer in this world, and the child is stuck with the life that the parents have chosen for her!! Also what family ties on the Day of Judgement??? No one is going to help you, so your first duty is to pass your test, no matter what it takes.

I am forbidding what is evil and enjoining what is good!! Which you are not doing, no wonder these problems have not actually subsided, because of people like you!

The parents have forced their child to get married-that is not a good act, but an evil one. That is also damaging to children.

Go and say that on the Day of Judgement, I find that people who stick up for these parents are people who are happy to have them, as they arrange marriages with them, maybe that’s they only way for you to get married is persuade and force someone to get married, and you don’t want someone to go against it as you benefit out of it directly. +o(

I can repeat what I have said on the Day of Judgement, I look forward to your criticism on that Day. I have already explained myself, thank Allah that countries are collapsing and the Major signs of the Day of Judgement are upon us, so we don’t have to live in a boring society with people like you. If you can't handle what how I am talking then frankly your going to be shocked then these countries collapse.

Your not in a position to advise, as clearly you don’t think about the rights of children. Willing to oppress others and make excuses that they don’t know any better. +o(

I fear Allah and remember the Day of Judgement. What I have said is sound in Islam. You have not disputed with what I have actually mentioned about the parents in the next world not talking as they were in this world, they were looking at society rather then Islam.
Glad that I am not part of your family etc I rather die then be a bore like you, again you probably only stick up for these parents as it give you what you want and you benefit, probably because that is they only way for you to get married. +o(

Typically you have NOT refuted anything that I have said, you are using one point for a situation when I am talking about another situation. With some Muslims I have noticed that they think to say things that they know that people won't dispute ie respecting parents. That is why you see some Muslims quoting on such and such, and they are happy as they won't have any opposition. That is why you brought this up, as frankly you have nothing else to say. But again your NOT thinking, your not talking of the situation at hand. That does not address this situation. I am not telling anyone to ill treat their parents I am telling them to be strong, to pass their tests in this world.

 

[h-n]

well i guess i dont get it right?... does this mean u should obey parents even if they are acting out of sharia?

i understand well parents should be respected the most, however marriage is an important thing the girl should be willing and happy to get married to the guy if she isnt then what is the point?

do u know the divorce rate was way too high at the time of sahabah becoz they wouldnt date and wait to see if the person is compatible, they would rather marry and understand the person and divorce if they are not happy, they saw marriage as a relationship of two souls.

now if a women divorce's, would u marry her? if ur answer happens to be yes then know that there are thousands of muslim men wouldnt marry a divorce women
and i guess prophet pbuh said dont force women into marriage let them choose??

i guess the root cause of this people are not following sharia... if they would, such things will not happen

and allah knows the best

A person's first duty is to themselves to pass their tests in this worldm which is the first duty of the virgin too before she even got married.

Your absolutely right the daughter has to be happy of who she gets married too, in the past they questioned how do you know if a virgins is consenting to having a relationship-and that is by her silence. Nowadays no matter the opposition from the virgin and the fact that there are plenty of cases were Virgins are being pushed to having sex with someone. So they are not treated very well.

So to listen to Islam first, not by people who are "society people". If you listen to someone who is dismissing the right of children, virgins etc, then you are not actually following Islam.

Your parents won't be able to help you on the Day of Judgement, people's souls are important, so don't place yourselves into something, that is traumatic, depressing this is your one in a lifetime opportunity to make it to Paradise. So be stong and remain firm.

 

[h-n]

id go with the hanafi opinon on it. its seems fair. but the four imams are also correct but there also only humans too.

Sister h-n good thread mashallah

lets say ''NO'' to forced marriages

and be free to live our own life according to the Qur'an and sunnah.

Thank-you, absolutely to say NO to forced marriages.

 

[h-n]

sister h-n is not messing around....some good points and nice colour coding!

Thank-you for taking the time to read it, and happy that you understand that I am being to the point. Nice colour coding LOL, thanks