Marriages not being approved

[Muslimeen]

*Ehem..* I am not against reminders, we should definitely prepare ourselves, think of the Aakhirah and take heed of the small signs of day of Judgement insha'Allah. Nevertheless, Allah alone knows when the Hour will be.

p.s. Didn't I tell you to stop using colours? <_<

True, I once heard qiyamah starts for a person as soon as he enters the grave. How prepared are we for this? it could happen to anyone at anytime.

Seems like someone is really getting under you skin, I hope you're not turning red or blue.:grumbling
You know what they say, if you can't beat them, join them.
If warnings don't work, resort to threats. :Evil:

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

Why don't you read the Quran all over again, the Day of Judgement comes first, and then everything falls into place when you remember this Day, which is were people decide on the choices that they make, and not be lead by unIslamic things.

1. the sunnah is also relevant. laa ilaha illah muhammad rasoolullah. ring a bell? if you are a Muslim and believe that this is the first pillar of islam then you have confirmed that the sunnah is also necessary and relevant.

2. i ask again, how is one supposed to prepare for the day of judgment if they dont uphold the Islamic rulings. you cant just "rock up" on the last day with zero in your account. this life is to prepare for that day...why should we expect to have a good aakhira if we dont even put in the effort to strive for it. and likewise why should we expect to have a good akhira if we dont worship Allah according to his prophet, sallahu alaeyhi wa sallam bought with.

if we truly believe in these 2 words and believe in the first pillar of islam...if we believe in the Prophet sallahau aleyhi wa sallam, then it wouldn't be hard to acknowledge his sunnah either.

3. wow, involving the wali is UnIslamic! woo hoo, lets announce this across the world it turns out that people have been practicing the wrong thing. [/end sarcasm]



im going to await your reply and if its anything of the same repetitive nature you keep dishing up, i'll say goodbye.

 

[Muslimeen]

shizzle i need to get some popcorn! are sisters harsh to each other like this bomboclat!

They really get under each others skin don't they? Knives are out!! I'm getting outta here, before it turns really ugly.:hiding:

Enjoy the show, and the popcorn.opcorn:

 

[syed_z]

Salaam Brother... hope you and yours are doing fine .. the only reason i joined this conversation was to let the Person know that Parents are to be part of each and every one of their child's life matters, specially which involve major decisions.... and Parents cannot be kept outside or be told to stay way ....


about what you said... many parents marry their child for money and duniya, i agree there are parents... that do and if they do then they are responsible for their actions...

and if u take it in another way parents forcing thier child for thier better future................., do they know the future?

I know that parents have experience more than the child has, and that can make them see things which child may not.... in that case if they see future going to be not good for their daughter, then they have the right to tell them and help them... .. you may disagree, up to you bro ...

almost all of them would refuse due job (lessness) or either he does not have his own house/car
these so called parents see only dunya.

a proper marriage is when u marry someone just for allah azzawajal and that ur partner should show u they way to jannah, whats the use of that partner who has house/car and has huge salary but doesnt pray and not is islamic? would he leave u to jannah or jahannum?

but i guess such type of marriages would be so rare in our ummah right now

I think your from Pakistan, forgive if i am wrong.... i say so because i am from pakistan and that is Typical attitude of Pakistanis living abroad in UK, Canada, US, ...also in Pakistan its the Upper class specially, and upper and lower Middle class.... i see that such attitude mostly comes from Pakistani parents such as mentioned... However, its not always like that.... i know the World has become materialistic and keeps heading that way as we move ahead in to the future.... but there are many parents who stop their children because of good reasons as well or marry them not because of their own benefit but the benefit of their daughters....

brother remember there are two extremes in everything islam shows us a a middle and best path, if u keep women only inside the house and tell her NOT NOT NOT to everything its not good niether she should be allowed to mix with men freely. there is a middle path, im sure i dont need to elaborate on that u can certaily understand what it is.

i completely agree.. yes there is a middle path and may Allah guide our parents and us, as we are moving towards becoming parents.... inshA Allah we will adopt the Middle Path....


Now just to let you know... the purpose of me to reply to the Person (H-N) who posted the 1st few posts telling us how to deal with parents.... was COMPLETELY disrespectful, and it wasn't even Islamic! ... i was posting to reply to tell what Islam (Quran and Sunnah) says about the Parents issue... since parents come 1st, After Allah (swt)... we need to understand the Subject of parents and their Rights upon us... and only under the light of that understanding do we move forward in our lives and shape our lives, because if we do not draw the line between our Rights given by Islam and the Rights of Parents over us in Islam, then we could be making serious error by overriding some of their Rights in the name of our Own rights, which would be disobedience to Allah (swt)..... and i clearly saw that happening in this thread....hope you understand...

Muhammad (Saw) was once asked "what is the rights of parents over their children ?" to which Messenger of Allah (Saw) replied...

"They are Your Heaven and Hell." (Ibn Majah, Hadith 3652)

 

[h-n]

1. the sunnah is also relevant. laa ilaha illah muhammad rasoolullah. ring a bell? if you are a Muslim and believe that this is the first pillar of islam then you have confirmed that the sunnah is also necessary and relevant.

2. i ask again, how is one supposed to prepare for the day of judgment if they dont uphold the Islamic rulings. you cant just "rock up" on the last day with zero in your account. this life is to prepare for that day...why should we expect to have a good aakhira if we dont even put in the effort to strive for it. and likewise why should we expect to have a good akhira if we dont worship Allah according to his prophet, sallahu alaeyhi wa sallam bought with.

if we truly believe in these 2 words and believe in the first pillar of islam...if we believe in the Prophet sallahau aleyhi wa sallam, then it wouldn't be hard to acknowledge his sunnah either.

3. wow, involving the wali is UnIslamic! woo hoo, lets announce this across the world it turns out that people have been practicing the wrong thing. [/end sarcasm]



im going to await your reply and if its anything of the same repetitive nature you keep dishing up, i'll say goodbye.

Proving how stupid you really are,

1. When this thread involves marriages NOT being approved by their Guardians -therefore they already sought it!!! Who said then never did?????

2. Your the one who is clearly forgetting about the Day of Judgement in actually involving it in your life, that is why on post 1, I have mentioned that you should remember that people not approving marriage is unIslamic, and they can't stand by their decision in the next world. So you shouldn't run your life according to their opinions, because it isn't worth it Islamically!

3. You and others treat religion like its a ceremony, do this, do that, and use and and abuse it more, as you are using good things. We have to remember the Day of Judgement FIRST. You are looking at what good things you have to do first. But remembering the Day of Judgement FIRST, then dictates your decision making. THUS on post 1, I said IF your marriage is not approved, remain firm and strong as you know that you are right, because in the next world your parents won't be able to repeat themselves!!!

4. The fact that people like you have felt threatened so easily of children standing up for themselves speaks volumes!!!!!!!! As there are people who want others to do the same as them to make them life have meaning. For example if a Man with a computer system, that is no longer upto date, and people are using a new program, he has spent years living and doing that, he feels less valued.

5. You clearly don't think and incorporate the Day of Judgement as you should just remember it as a seperate time, and the fact that you have not thought about the absolute relevant points on post 1. Shows that you are acting as a wordly person, look this is what happened to the Jews they use religion to get married too etc!!! They don't think of the next world or death or even Hell now. They talk about how to be relgiously in this world, do all the right things, but they only care about the life of this world.


I would never follow someone who looks less towards the Day of Judgement then I do! Which includes you!!!

 

[AhmadibnNasroon]

so how is everyone doing today

*sprays peaceful air freshener*

 

[Muslimeen]

Come on ladies stop ridiculing each other. I hate it when they do that, what's with all this name calling??
Is this the example we want to set? You can be polite in disagreement too you know.

 

[Salahudeen]

Come on ladies stop ridiculing each other. I hate it when they do that, what's with all this name calling??
Is this the example we want to set? You can be polite in disagreement too you know.

This is women akhi, they get very emotional trust me lol. Any dig they can get will do.

 

[Sawdah]

Guys, this is not how we should talk to each other. We should do it with the right intention and expect best for one another. It doesn't seem like I'm seeing that right now. Remember when we discuss, we're not trying to show the people that we have more knowledge, nor are we showing we are better, we do it so the message can go through. We start threads like this only for the sake of our brothers and sisters of Islam, so they may benefit from them. If someone disagrees, be not rude but show your position respectfully without offending the person and answer back in a polite manner. I'm not pointing fingers, but I'm just reminding everyone. I hate it when I see brothers and sisters call each other horrible words, it's not a beautiful sight at all. Where's the love for the sake of Allah?

I ask everyone to take the time to read this inshaAllah: link. It's the manners of dialogue in Islam.

And Allah azawajjal knows best.

:wa:

 

[Asiyah3]

1. Parents shouldn't refuse a righteous man for the sake of race or nationality etc.

2. Forced marriages are forbidden in Islam.

3. Children should respect and be kind to their parents.

Just my two cents. Feel free to add to the list.

They really get under each others skin don't they? Knives are out!! I'm getting outta here, before it turns really ugly.:hiding:

Enjoy the show, and the popcorn.opcorn:

Trust me, you don't want to know what happens in the Sisters section. :X

 

['Abd-al Latif]

:salamext:

Marriage is not a the goal of life. Our goal is Allah.

Here is some practical advice to everyone.

1) Righteousness is not inherited. If you think that somehow you will conquer the world with your spouse after marriage then you are living in a dream land. Reality will slap you in the face when you wake up and learn that your perception of marriage was seen through rose tinted glasses. If you can't have that inner drive to make Allah your ultimate goal, to make Him your only source of happiness and have that will to strive day and night for His pleasure, being certain that true happiness lies only in sincerity towards Him, then you have mislead yourself to think that your spouse will be able to make you see this! A righteous spouse, no matter how righteous, will never be able to pass on his righteousness unless it be that Allah guides you towards Him. True righteousness is sincerity in the heart towards Allah while insincerity is superficial worship; Islam is more then hijabs and beards.

O you who believe! let not your wealth, or your children, divert you from the remembrance of Allah; and whoever does that, these are the losers. [Muniqoon, 9]

Those who divert you from the remembrance of Allah could even be your own spouse. If you sincerely looked for a spouse for the sake of Allah then adjust your attitude in accordance to the pleasure of Allah while looking for a spouse. If you are facing obstacles by feeling an overwhelming sexual desire that you cannot control, you lose patience and hope, you curse and insult your parents and the Qadr (decree) of Allah that is meant for you (i.e. that it is not yet time for you to get married - yet), then check your iman because your sincerity to get married for the sake of Allah is questionable!

2) Patience to Iman/belief, is like head to the body. If you have the head is cut the body is dead. If you cannot get married, your dua's are not being answered, you face difficulty where ever you go and you feel like your life is at a dead end then know that the problem is not with Allah, the problem is with you.

Are you fulfilling Allah's write upon you? Are you praying your prayers on time? Are there any shortcomings in your prayer? Are you discontent with what Allah has decreed for you (i.e. you feel an urge for sexual satisfaction yet no one understands your sexual needs need fulfilment because your parents are delaying your marriage) and you show anger and discontentment because of this? Do you feel like Allah is punishing you?

One who thinks these thoughts or something similar to this is an ungrateful slave of Allah who has no understanding of iman.

The Prophet (saws) said, "If Allaah loves a people, He tries them, and whoever has patience will have patience, and whoever is anxious will be anxious." (Reported by Imaam Ahmad; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1706).

Then there are among men such as say, "We believe in Allah"; but when they suffer affliction in (the cause of) Allah, they treat men's oppression as if it were the Wrath of Allah!... [29:09]

3) You as an individual should be striving to become a good Muslim and not be dependant on another (i.e. your spouse) to mould you into something good. A spouse at most can only fulfil your desires, not solve your problems. If you are unmarried and Allah wants to increase you in patience then what virtue is better than this!?

Nooh (a.s) was patient with his people for 950 years for rejecting the religion of Allah until finally Allah drowned the disbelievers off the face of the earth. And in return for Nooh (a.s)'s efforts, Allah made the whole world become populated with the offspring of Nooh.

Yusuf, the symbol of patience, was forced to live life away from his family and was separated by his own brothers. He grew up without his family, was called to fornication by the beautiful wife of al-azeez, framed to make it seem as though Yusuf was the one in the wrong, locked up in prison without a family or friend for years. Who could be more isolated and rejected than this? Who could be in more grief and loneliness then Yusuf? Yet he never showed signs of impatience. And, as gratitude from Allah for his righteousness, Yusuf was rewarded with a high position, status and lots of wealth. He was reunited with his family as a leader for the righteous and is a shining example for the people today as we recite his story in Qur'an. And in the hereafter he will be among those who will be under the shade of the throne of Allah, on a day where there will be no shade. And this is a reward for him and whomsoever follows in his footsteps.

Muhammad (saaws), Ibraheem (a.s), Moosa (a.s) reached the pinnacle of success in this world and the next with their patience and faith (in Allah).

Be patient with parents and do not rant on forums because this is not a solution to a problem.

:threadclo