my boyfriend has an arranged marriage

assaallaamu alaykum

I have no excuse for him in anyway whatsoever.

And I do not aprove of those who judged you in how you conducted yourselves in the past.

I would strongly advise you to associate with people who has substance and forget about him.
If he was a Muslim, and he had feelings and respect for you as well as fear for Allah, he wouldn't have gone through with the marriage.

Yes, I was Christian before and reverted on my own.

And yes, we'd all like to not have these girl-friend boy-friend relationships but, frankly, the culturalists do not leave many alternatives for those who are young.

I do not judge those people; I embrace them, help them, try to understand them but, I never judge them.

****
All the best for you and don't feel saddened by your ordeal:
Be thankful that you have a heart and that you are able to feel;
Be greatful to Allah that he didn't put such a weak-spirited person by your side.
At-least you have the ability to love, appreciate and hurt.

Alot of culturalists don't have hearts.
They are robots and prisoners of their own families.

***
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.
Hellen Keller

Take care.
Assallaamu alaykum
 
The way I take it, is he has no obligation to follow his parents wishes in choosing his wife, but the fact he has chosen it, than he made the choice, and he should be honest with you. If he already has consumated the marriage than he had no right to do what he done to you, let alone of having casual relation when he knew, but you should not hold any grudge even though he hurt you but make dua for him and wish him the best. The best thing is to cut contact with him.

Peace. and I will make Duah for you and the other person.
 
I don't think it was wise for you to convert just because you wanted to maintain a relationship with Asim. Did you convert because you sincerely wanted to be Muslim?
 
primitivefuture said:
I don't think it was wise for you to convert just because you wanted to maintain a relationship with Asim. Did you convert because you sincerely wanted to be Muslim?
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If she sincerely did not believe in ISLAM now, than the logical thing would been of her to leave ISLAM, since she supposedly (not a factual) entered for him only without any intention than she would leave logically when she lost him.

We should not question her faith, but we should help he and support her in everyway and even learning more about our deen (ISLAM), that's our JOB.

MAke Duah for her.
 
Follow-Up:
So Anis wrote me an e-mail from the beginning of his honeymoon.
Then returned a few days ago. he called me immediately. I was polite and told him i could not continue talking or seeing him and hung up. he called imediately and left a long message. His message said that he told his wife all about me, and that she has given him permission to take me as a second wife. Now what do you all have to say about that???
 
artichokeforest said:
Follow-Up:
So Anis wrote me an e-mail from the beginning of his honeymoon.
Then returned a few days ago. he called me immediately. I was polite and told him i could not continue talking or seeing him and hung up. he called imediately and left a long message. His message said that he told his wife all about me, and that she has given him permission to take me as a second wife. Now what do you all have to say about that???
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BAD idea, IMO. You will spend the rest of your life with a woman whom you dont know at all to begin with.
 
artichokeforest said:
Follow-Up:
So Anis wrote me an e-mail from the beginning of his honeymoon.
Then returned a few days ago. he called me immediately. I was polite and told him i could not continue talking or seeing him and hung up. he called imediately and left a long message. His message said that he told his wife all about me, and that she has given him permission to take me as a second wife. Now what do you all have to say about that???
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Well the choice is still your's, but I will advice you to check up the validity of the statement, did she really say it. Or if you think his being truthfull.

The underlining choice is yours and don't feel pressured into thinking you have any obligation to accept. Plus can he provide for you and her, you have to look at that. Think wisely.
 
artichokeforest said:
So exactly how does that work in Canada?
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I have no Idea, but me preferably won't but that's my choice (if I was a girl) but I am not a girl, and I am not in your situation. Just don't be to hasty in jumping in. Take your time thinking about it, and ask allah(s.w.t) to guide you.
 
artichokeforest said:
Follow-Up:
So Anis wrote me an e-mail from the beginning of his honeymoon.
Then returned a few days ago. he called me immediately. I was polite and told him i could not continue talking or seeing him and hung up. he called imediately and left a long message. His message said that he told his wife all about me, and that she has given him permission to take me as a second wife. Now what do you all have to say about that???
Click to expand...



sis this is very simple, do you want to marry him or not?
if you do well then I wish all three of you the best..

if you dont then be curt, tell him and move on. Plenty of fish in the sea..
 
Hawa said:
sis this is very simple, do you want to marry him or not?
if you do well then I wish all three of you the best..

if you dont then be curt, tell him and move on. Plenty of fish in the sea..
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Plenty of fish but the plenty of wrong bait around too!
 
Skillganon said:
Plenty of fish but the plenty of wrong bait around too!
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true, however one must go around these things in a certain way.. if you do it the haram way then your just asking for trouble. Go through the proper channels and inshallah you'll get a God-fearing brother..
 
Gosh this is funny.
I would never , ever, ever , ever (not even for a trillion dollars) consider becoming a second wife. So I am definitly moving on. Polygamy is one of the the things in Islam that I cannot really get my head around.
Probably none of you born and raised in Islam can see how bizarre and unbelievable this scenario is. But for me, being raised here in Canada it is quite incomprehensible!

Damsel in distress?? I am sorry I came across that way. God-fearing? Gosh I don't even care that much about that. I just want someone who treats me right and respects me. Are there many brothers out there who know about that?

I think polygamy really ends up cheating all parties involved. the man and women never get the chance to develop a deep intimacy. Emotional needs are spread between too many parties.
 
SoldiereSS_1 said:
First Of All.......... Is Havin A Boyfriend Allowed In Islam???........... Erm I Dont Think So Honeys
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Can a Muslim explain this to me? I am a Christian married to Muslim, so we were allowed to date. Why do some Muslims think that it's okay to date while others (I think most on this forum) do not think that it is okay?

I posted earlier that one of my girlfriends married an Imam and they dated prior to marriage. This is confusing me.
 
It is haram (forbidden) to have relations outside of marriage in Islam, including prior to marriage, those who do, are deviating from Islam.
 
Goku said:
It is haram (forbidden) to have relations outside of marriage in Islam, including prior to marriage, those who do, are deviating from Islam.
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Yep so true. Ur not allowed to be alone with a man at all and u should speak to them in a serious tone.
:peace: :)
 

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