my heart is breaking apart

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halloula

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imsadi dont know if that's the right place to write my story but i have to let someone know and get some advise i'm feeling that my heart is broken and my life is finishing.

after a big love between me and my husband we are apart ( see thread mariage crisis seeking urgent help). i got the ticket to go overseas last sunday my dad stopped me took my passport and didnt let me go to my husband. My husband changed a lot with me since that day he doesnt let me talk he's critisising me about everything i dont feel like we one like before it's the first time we feel we apart. he went and he changed all his internet password that i use to know and he done a facebook he add a lot of girls in there its like his trying to make me jealous. Everytime i tell him i'm coming wait for me he just tell me you choosed your dad stay there i dont want you anymore. i tried not to talk to him for these days and i thought i just change the ticket date and try to go but now it's come to the point where i am missing him so much, and i realize now how much he meant to me, i've lost my husband, my soulmate , someone whouse to be on my side giving me hope whenever i was feeling down, somebody who cared for me so much and i couldn't see it nor be grateful of it. i dont know what to do now should i just go to him nock his door and tell him i'm your wife i'm here for you do with me what you want or just be depressed and wait for my divorce paper to arrive at anytime.

please advice me. But i feel so bad.I feel guilty for not standing by him for the first time . I wish he would just talk to me again like before, at least give me chance to be with him and try to stand by him this time. I don't know how i'll move without him i probably die i already lost 12 kilos in 2 weeks Please pray for us.
 
Re: my heart is breaking apart its sooooo urgent

Please help me i'm so depressed and sick i cant think of anything my whole life stopped :cry::cry:
 
halloula said:
imsadi dont know if that's the right place to write my story but i have to let someone know and get some advise i'm feeling that my heart is broken and my life is finishing.

after a big love between me and my husband we are apart ( see thread mariage crisis seeking urgent help). i got the ticket to go overseas last sunday my dad stopped me took my passport and didnt let me go to my husband. My husband changed a lot with me since that day he doesnt let me talk he's critisising me about everything i dont feel like we one like before it's the first time we feel we apart. he went and he changed all his internet password that i use to know and he done a facebook he add a lot of girls in there its like his trying to make me jealous. Everytime i tell him i'm coming wait for me he just tell me you choosed your dad stay there i dont want you anymore. i tried not to talk to him for these days and i thought i just change the ticket date and try to go but now it's come to the point where i am missing him so much, and i realize now how much he meant to me, i've lost my husband, my soulmate , someone whouse to be on my side giving me hope whenever i was feeling down, somebody who cared for me so much and i couldn't see it nor be grateful of it. i dont know what to do now should i just go to him nock his door and tell him i'm your wife i'm here for you do with me what you want or just be depressed and wait for my divorce paper to arrive at anytime.

please advice me. But i feel so bad.I feel guilty for not standing by him for the first time . I wish he would just talk to me again like before, at least give me chance to be with him and try to stand by him this time. I don't know how i'll move without him i probably die i already lost 12 kilos in 2 weeks Please pray for us.
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sis, ive got nothing to say to you, except be paitent and make dua...

also, r u 2 islamically married?
 
i am islamically married. And i want help on what i should do i'm so lost i feeling alone in this life :cry::cry::cry:
 
sis you should try talking to him or if he wont listen what about writing him a letter you need to know where you stand with him becouse other wise you are prolonging the hurt and pain you feel tell him that you have made up your mind its him you want and that you really want it to work tell him you are sorry for causing him any upset inshaallah he will listen to reason but make du'a and ask Allah swt to put every thing right for you and make it easy for you inshaallah
 
You should seek guidance first from Allah, via istikhara and lots of duas
Then help yourself, approach your husband. clear up any misconceptions between the relatoinship you and your father share and state that he ( your husband) has a special place in your heart and that you love him alot.

Tell him how you feel and ask how he feels, then try to solve the situation, if all fails ask of him where to from here.

All the best...
:w:
 
thanks brother idrisadam i already tried talking to my dad and explain how much i love my husband but nothing change all he has in his mind that's not the man he dreamt of for me. my husband still love me and i'm sure of he's feeling but he so angry and upset with me and that need a long time to make him go back to how he was that if i be with him not over letter and phone calls. And the hardest step is leaving my family for him because i dont want to loose them too and that's my pain
 
halloula said:
thanks brother idrisadam i already tried talking to my dad and explain how much i love my husband but nothing change all he has in his mind that's not the man he dreamt of for me. my husband still love me and i'm sure of he's feeling but he so angry and upset with me and that need a long time to make him go back to how he was that if i be with him not over letter and phone calls. And the hardest step is leaving my family for him because i dont want to loose them too and that's my pain
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Asalam alaikum Halloula,
I read your other posts before and can't imagine the heartache your feeling.
I would say the same as some of the other posters, continue to pray for Allah's guideance in this matter. I don't know if its Islamically correct, but if you love him, just go to him and talk to him face to face. It is so much easier for him to stay mad seeing your so far away and not there with him. InshaAllah you will find a way to get to him and work it out. Don't give up on such a strong love! Your family will be very hurt I'm sure but inshaAllah your Dad will come around eventually maybe not right away but pray him.
Take Care Sis !
 
i prayed istikhara more than once but i couldnt see anything what's that mean i'm so confused .i also sended an email to my husband trying to remind him of our good days and ask him for forgivness of any husrt i caused and i ask for a chance to start from the beginning slowly to fix everything because i cant talk to him even in the phone but he replied to me saying if you have something to say call me and i'm so scared of this phone call because his so upset. what should i do advice me i'm really getting lost
 
send some one to him.. some one you trust and he like.. his sister, his mother, his friend.. any one you know that he/she is Muslim and want good things for you both

let that one tell him some thing about the rights of the wives.. we are not children and the marriage is not a game

let that one tell him that if is real man he must be real husband

let that one tell him that the prophet said that when we hate some thing in our wives, so there are more than one thing are good in them

let that one say to you husband that the prophet said that women are human also, and they make mistakes.. isn't he make mistakes?

after all these, if your husband didn't return to you.. ask him the divorce.. a man like this is not good for you to be a husband, and don't cry for him

the one who buy you, buy him.. especially if he is not good

the life is full of good husband, and they has heart to feel by
 
I'm sorry if my words hart you
but the real life always harts us, so we must be patient, and be stronger.. and logical also
 
i understand you brother abu abdulrahman and i know where you come from aand thanks for your advice but sometimes it's too hard when you really love that person and all your life was based on him
 
Dear sister, I was very touch by what you've written and I truly hope that things will change to the better for you. I believe that you should tell him all of what you mentioned above in your post, tell him the plain truth, if you can't talk then write to him, nothing is better than discussing things openly.
 
i feel deeply touched talking to him because his hurt and he hurts me with what he says. i can tell that he still want me and he's doing that to push me to act and go but i cant be against my dad i want to work things out and leave with everyone happy but i dont think so he will wait for me. it's really sad to see my life ruined and the cause is my closest 2 my husband and my father.
 
halloula said:
i feel deeply touched talking to him because his hurt and he hurts me with what he says. i can tell that he still want me and he's doing that to push me to act and go but i cant be against my dad i want to work things out and leave with everyone happy but i dont think so he will wait for me. it's really sad to see my life ruined and the cause is my closest 2 my husband and my father.
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Then you probably should have a long discussion with your father, maybe with some aid from family friends or those who your father would usually listen to. Discuss things openly and state your needs,requests and how you see things and listen to his point of view and what he thinks of the whole thing then try to come to an intermediate solution that fits both, you and him.
 
i tried everything with my dad and it doeasnt work he' just stuck on his opinion doesnt wanna change it. its my big dillema and dont know how to get out of it i have to loose one of them and sacrifice or loose my self
 

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