My thanks, to all of you.

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The cultural pressure must seem very strong italianguy.
its hard for me to understand what that feels like, but you have my sympathy with it.

Best advice then that I can give is the old proverb that if you give someone a loaf they have bread for a day, Give them seeds and they can have bread for a lifetime. in other words, by letting go of the need to act as a decision maker and letting the family choose what to Major in themselves,what to buy what to do you will empower them. They will make mistakes and thats how we all learn. The stronger the crutch the harder the person leans. Those who lean against straws learn to walk alone.

Oh and as an aside, one of my fave proverbs is:
"Make a man a fire, he will be warm for a day- set that man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life!" :D
 
barney said:
The cultural pressure must seem very strong italianguy.
its hard for me to understand what that feels like, but you have my sympathy with it.

Best advice then that I can give is the old proverb that if you give someone a loaf they have bread for a day, Give them seeds and they can have bread for a lifetime. in other words, by letting go of the need to act as a decision maker and letting the family choose what to Major in themselves,what to buy what to do you will empower them. They will make mistakes and thats how we all learn. The stronger the crutch the harder the person leans. Those who lean against straws learn to walk alone.

Oh and as an aside, one of my fave proverbs is:
"Make a man a fire, he will be warm for a day- set that man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life!" :D
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Thanks Barney, dude my son would cry if he saw what you did to barney's mouth;D

I have heard analogies like that before, like "give a man a fish, he eats for a day." "teach a man to fish, he feeds himself for a lifetime":D

I wish it were that easy my friend. As much as these cultral issues can be a major burden...I do love my family and my culture. There is absolutely no way that could happen, it has been this way for .....a longgggggggg time! But it's fun to have wishfull thinking:D even if only temporary..
 
Italianguy said:
Thanks Barney, dude my son would cry if he saw what you did to barney's mouth;D

I have heard analogies like that before, like "give a man a fish, he eats for a day." "teach a man to fish, he feeds himself for a lifetime":D

I wish it were that easy my friend. As much as these cultral issues can be a major burden...I do love my family and my culture. There is absolutely no way that could happen, it has been this way for .....a longgggggggg time! But it's fun to have wishfull thinking:D even if only temporary..
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Hey, the avatar was Sky Persephone/Purest Ambrosia/Eve's doing. Me i think Barney the dino's message is as good as the sermon on the mount,peace hugs and sharing along with education to make things better.

I love my family too, but within my culture, which is pretty much supportive of family, but allowing them to take responsibilitys as adults.
I cant understand from my position wanting it different. Sure with my Kids , at their age, I'll let them run with ideas, but if i see them really getting into hot water, I will step in.
With the Adult members, i'll offer my advice if asked, but for example, my Brother is a guy with personality disorder. He wants to dump everything on my mum. all responsibilitys , all decisions. He's 44 years old and has the responsibility of a teenager.
If he approaches me for emotional support, i'll invariably say, "Thats really bad brother, sorry to hear it, so what are YOU going to do about it. What do YOU think YOU should do?"

Trouble is , he's had 44 years of shunning responsibility. when my Mum passes away, he's going to be absolutly stumped.

Hope you find the strength to carry you through. Try talking with your wife about it perhaps? Women love to talk about such things in my experience.:omg:
 
ra101_2-186.ram


"When My servants ask thee concerning Me, I am indeed close (to them): I listen to the prayer of every suppliant when he calleth on Me: Let them also, with a will, Listen to My call, and believe in Me: That they may walk in the right way" (2:186)

It was said to Imam al-Shafi’ie (may Allah have mercy on him): Which is better, patience or tests or prevailing? He said: Prevailing is the level attained by the Prophets, and there can be no prevailing except after trials. If a person is tried he will become patient, and if he remains patient he will prevail.

“When Allah wills good for His slave, He hastens the punishment for him in this world, and when Allah wills ill for His slave, he withholds the punishment for his sins from him his sin until he comes with all his sins on the Day of Resurrection.” [Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2396); classified as sahih by al-Albani in al-Silsilah al-Sahihah (1220)].

Ibn al-Qayyim said in Zaad al-Ma’ad (3/477):

In His wisdom, Allah decreed that the Muslims should first taste the bitterness of defeat, despite their great numbers and adequate equipment and strength, so as to humble some people who felt proud as a result of the conquest of Makkah and who had not entered His land and His sanctuary as the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) had entered it, bending his head whilst riding his horse to the extent that his chin almost touched the saddle, out of humbleness before his Lord.
 
Peace Italianguy,

Quite a post and thread. A strongman has no fear of showing his soft side.


family ties are the most important human bonds formed. The heritage and link to family is a link that all steps need to be taken to keep it from being broken. One difficulty is most if not all families will have ancestral backgrounds that differ from the immediate family. Going back far enough we soon discover that each of us has ancestors that differ from the current family values.

It is good you are finding your Palestinian roots and want to embrace them as a valued part of your family tree and heritage. You have a very valid reason for your empathy towards the prisoners in Gaza. Far better you can feel their pain, than being hardened and have no feeling for them. Often times this sadness towards others is our greatest strength, A weak man would take the easy road and find justification to ignore their existence.
 
Beautiful post, ItalianGuy.

It made me shed a tear on a beautiful afternoon in the office. I think I should excuse myself and go make myself a cup of coffee.

InsyaAllah, you will find the path you were meant to be on.
 
1376. Mu`awiyah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah said, "When Allah wishes good for someone, He bestows upon him the understanding of Deen.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: Knowledge and understanding of Deen (religion) here stands for the understanding of the Qur'an and Hadith, religious injunctions, and knowledge of the lawful and the unlawful. This Hadith highlights the excellence of knowledge and the fact that it is a sign of Allah's Help to the person who possesses it and acts upon it.

May Allah guide you to the straight path Italianguy and nice post btw :)
 
Italianguy, regardless of any conflict of interest you think you have. Know this: Suffering concerns of others ought to concern us all nevermind the metaphysics of those involved or of those committing them.

Keep that in mind always. Your post in this thread showed a great deal of sincerity, but it ought not be viewed as a choice between Islam or Christianity to condemn suffering. I suspect your dissonance displayed lies in this contradiction you've built yourself into.
 
wow we have a poet on the forum.

That post was really sweet, heart touching :D
 
You are a revert right?
We will be here to share opinions and things with you.Don't hesitate to ask anything.
And if you are afraid, ask Allah for peace of heart and mind in your prayers(Really really works lol it has to work).You will feel that peace in you and He is the one who can guide you.
 
Italianguy said:
I want to thank you all in a way that is me, but I cannot find the words, they escape me. I have been on this forum not knowing why I am here, I have been reading every word you post, i hear it in my ear.

I appreciate all of you in a way you will never know. I appreciate even the mods, as they delete my posts. I can respect their job, they has to stop sensless chatter, i never mean insult, not ever, in any matter.

I read through these posts sometimes feeling lonelyimsad. I am stuck between my faith and your faith, just these only. I have been feeling down as sometimes I doubt my own faith, I have been feeling down as doubting seals your fate.

I can never express my appreciation for your help in other words i thought I was here to help. My study of Islam has led me here, with all of you listening to my posts in your ear. I know I can be a bore and I have no bad intentions, I do listen to you though, with all of your men tions.

I ask my self again, why am I here? I am not sure, maybe you can tell me. I like making friends and chatting....it's just me. I try to be friendly, respectfull, and full of answers, but somtimes I find myself seeking your answers. I have lots of questions, sometimes they seem pointless, but i have good intentions. So I ask you to be patient.

I feel a connection to Islam you see....it's in my blood..... a little bit..Maybe It's the Palestinian in me. I am affriad sometimes why I feel such sorrowimsad, I don't know what the future holds for me tomorrow. I search and search, it's the truth i seek, but sometimes i ponder the future....it looks bleekimsad With so much tension around the world, In Palestine I see what happensimsad i almost hurled+o( I have been studying and seeing what is happening there.....and sometimes I just want to pull out my hair:heated:

Am I supposed to as a Christian, support the other side?.....When i see what happens to Palestine....it makes me want to cry:cry: I asked a family member just the other day, where is our Palestinian family, so i can say hey! From what I am told they are still there, just the same as me...pulling out their hairimsad I cannot speak to them, it has been to long, we havent known them in generations, but I carry the name! I didn't know this...oh well, all the same.

Again I want to thank you, I am still lostimsad I will keep seeking answers, you have all been great hosts. I will try not to be a bother, I understand, I can be, but maybe...just maybe it's that little bit of...... Islam in me:nervous:

I would love to meet all of you in person one day, some say it won't happen, my sins, I must pay. I would love to greet all of you in person but it cannot happen, so I will settle for the forum, but hey...it could happen:D

It may sound stupid, some of the things I write. I have no other way to communicate my feelings, I am losing sight.imsad I have no other way but a pen to show my might. I felt as if I was strong in my faith, but now I am breaking down..I am losing my faithimsad I am not sure was is to become of me, but Insha Allah ...someday I will see.

It is God whom I worship, He is all i have. He is my creator and as well, you my brothers, seek Him and you shall have.

I affraid, I am scared, as a man, are these feelings I am allowed to have?imsad I am supossed to be strong, but i feel weak nowimsad I put on a smile, as fake as it may be, i am affraid what is going to happen to me.

Again I thank you for all of your knowledge. You have all taught me allot, as I will keep seeking the truth.

God be with each and every one of you. May Allah bless you all with perfect health, wealth, and strength in faith. May He bring upon you peace. May He bless your families, and those who may suffer.

All the best,

Italianguy
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hi italianguy, are u resigning from IB?
 
So i take it, you'll be sticking around IB a little while longer. Hope you find what you're looking for. Insh'Allah.
 
Hope you become Muslim!

R u palestinian or italian? if a bit of both how palestinian are u ?

Islam is the only true religion, so go to your nearest mosque and ask for more information about Islam.

Also nice topic!:shade:
 
Aslaamu`alaaykum ItalianGuy..

I loved your post, how you expressed your feelings from within your Heart and put into a Poem.
Almost made me cry, was really beautiful.
I really appreciated it, you sharing your feelings, you are not a bother.
Keep asking questions ,all your questions are questions from an individual who is searching and researching about the other faith..
Indeed May Allaah guide you , Make Dua (prayer), with your hands in the air, and call out to Allaah, Supplicate and ask him to guide you, with sincerety and truthfulness, Indeed Jesus/Isaa(as) raised his hands in the air and prayed to his Lord Allmighty ,The Most Mercyful, The Most Generous!..

Everything he has taught us through his Prophets, is indeed Benefit for us indeed, and no Harm.. Subhana`Allaah (Glory be to the ALmighty Allaah)

God is with you always, Peace be to you ItalianGuy...

Wa`alaaykum Salaaam
 
Yes, keep asking questions. When we are looking for answers to them, we too have to think same matters and when we answer or read answers of others, we too learn at the same time.

:statisfie
 
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