My wife don't want to wear the hijab. Divorce?

[tia]

Yes. Please do. Trust me, from the point view of a woman, it'll do both of you good if you divorce her. Don't torture her and yourself like this. You're too dumb, too shallow and she's innocent. You don't belong together. You need to find a partner who is as obsessed about islamic fashion as you are. Please let her go. Astaghfirullah. She deserves better. May Allah grant her sabr.

 

[Bobbyflay23]

Yes. Please do. Trust me, from the point view of a woman, it'll do both of you good if you divorce her. Don't torture her and yourself like this. You're too dumb, too shallow and she's innocent. You don't belong together. You need to find a partner who is as obsessed about islamic fashion as you are. Please let her go. Astaghfirullah. She deserves better. May Allah grant her sabr.

That's bad advice she's a Muslim and she's praying her 5 daily prayers and fasting she's still a Muslim as long as she doesn't cheat on him it's ok you want them to end the relationship when it's possible that any time from now she'll start wearing the hijab by herself he just needs to be patient with her and not push it on her and show a good example of a practicing Muslim maybe she doesn't have allot of faith too he could show her some of the scientfic evidences of why Islam is the truth and all that stuff

 

[tia]

But he's bad for her. What sort of guy wants to divorce his wife for not wearing a headscarf? That is insane! Does he even love her in the first place. Astaghfirullah

 

[Bobbyflay23]

But he's bad for her. What sort of guy wants to divorce his wife for not wearing a headscarf? That is insane! Does he even love her in the first place. Astaghfirullah

Oh I see what you mean I was thinking that he shouldn't be thinking like that but to actually do it is another thing he never said to her face I'm going to divorce you or anything I just think both he and her need to work on their relationship and also when I said he needs to hangout with her all the time and that he needs to act like a good Muslim that itself will restore the love of both of them are separate from each over and him hanging out with his friends and her hanging out with her friends all the time instead of hanging out with each over do u think they're going to love each over it's somthing that can be restored they just need to try to restore it no need to abandon the marriage

 

[Umm♥Layth]

Another thing what bother me is the feeling that i had for her is gone. This is all because of the fights that we have had. What can i do about this.

This is why in Islam, we don't marry for love. Love fluctuates and it is not a safe or stable foundation for a marriage. Most couple go through periods where they are just annoyed by each other's presence and in love relationships, that's when people break up, not realizing it is only part of the journey

You will have to sit down and remember/write down all the reasons you chose to be with her in the first place without the emotional strings. What was it about her personality that you found attractive?

I suggest you two enroll in Islamic classes together both for knowledge and for the experience. It will help you build a new foundation based on Islam and THAT will make your marriage strong.

Whatever it is you want from her, you will have to give her first. Marriage is about what the other person needs and fulfilling their rights, not about you or your rights. If you can learn to see it this way, your marriage will be more harmonious. This is a reminder for myself also, as we tend to forget this easily. :statisfie

 

[Search]

:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

(Peace be upon you)

Thank you for the video. I will check this first and then share it with my wife. Is there any strong video or powerfull message about hijab that I can share it with my wife.

Yes, I had watched a very inspiring lecture on hijab, and I'm now linking that lecture for you to give your wife to watch at her leisure without any external pressure from you InshaAllah: To Veil or Not to Veil.

And I sincerely apologize for my stringent tone earlier in your thread. I do wish you and the sister the best, and I do wish that both of you succeed in this path to Paradise, but the path to Paradise is paved sometimes with thorns. And if we yearn for Paradise, we must learn to love the thorns as well and consider them not as obstacles but as a means to enable our own character development so that we can be the conquerors of our own selves for then surely it is easier to conquer hearts when a person has conquered himself/herself first. Conquer your own flaws and gently remind her of Allah (without mentioning hijab) so that your wife will be drawn towards changing her outlook and herself feel compelled by her own heart to give the best of her own self as a slave to Allah.

And as far as feeling the current lack of love towards her is a matter of a concern, make the foundation of your home the love of Allah.

Love her for now for the sake of Allah, and the moment you learn to do so and sincerely practice this business of loving for the sake of Allah, you will InshaAllah find in your heart the love that you've always had for her though earlier shadowed by marital disharmony and personal resentment.

Again, I humbly apologize for my earlier post. However, I do wish you and your wife the best.

Sincere Regards,

:wa: (And peace be upon you)

 

[Bobbyflay23]

Thank you for the video. I will check this first and then share it with my wife. Is there any strong video or powerfull message about hijab that I can share it with my wife.

You don't want her to wear a hijab for your sake you want her to wear it for allahs sake chill out on her and just try to focus on getting her to do more acts of worship for allah and good deeds

 

[*charisma*]

Yes. Please do. Trust me, from the point view of a woman, it'll do both of you good if you divorce her. Don't torture her and yourself like this. You're too dumb, too shallow and she's innocent. You don't belong together. You need to find a partner who is as obsessed about islamic fashion as you are. Please let her go. Astaghfirullah. She deserves better. May Allah grant her sabr.

There's no reason to be insulting towards anyone. If you can't speak kindly, don't speak at all. Suggesting divorce when you only know half of the story is ridiculous. Please keep such opinions to yourself.

But he's bad for her. What sort of guy wants to divorce his wife for not wearing a headscarf? That is insane! Does he even love her in the first place. Astaghfirullah

The brother is speaking out of frustration because he loves his wife and has been patient with her. He wants to see his family in the best of affairs obeying ALlah subhanahu wa ta'ala, and he is seeking advice because he doesn't know what else to do. He may also have some jealousy and protectiveness over her which is an admirable trait. I can pardon him in this respect, and you should as well.

 

[*charisma*]

Hamdolilah, thank you for the advice i am getting more relaxed. The only thing that really bother me is that i dont want to enter the hell fire because of her, let me make that clear. I believe if i divorce her she will remain muslim. She understand that hijab is really important in the islam, but its still difficult for her, cultural thing. I guess i will seek and invite a imam to talk to her.

Another thing what bother me is the feeling that i had for her is gone. This is all because of the fights that we have had. What can i do about this.

Brother, you won't enter hellfire because of her. She is responsible for her own actions and you are not allowed to force her to do anything that she does not want to do. SHe isn't a child. Allah guides and may allah guide her on the straight path. Make sincere du'a to Allah because it's in His hands. Don't add so much stress on to yourself and wife. I understand that it's frustrating because you want your wife to be the best and you want her to look like a muslimah, but at the same time, you have to focus on making it easy for her to do that without pressuring her. The more fights you have the more negativity you're going to be bringing into the relationship. Take it a step at a time. If you see her wearing something too revealing, tell her to cover up more. Eventually it will be easy for her to wear the hijaab. Maybe you should visit an islamic country and go to different masjids so she can feel a part of the ummah. There is a lot you can do without arguing or fighting. Mashallah it's amazing that she has become a muslimah and prays 5 times a day. Many brothers who marry nonMuslims are praying that their wives become muslims. So you should feel very blessed that she is moving in the right direction.

As for having feelings for her again, I don't know what your home life is like, but I'm sure if you began doing some nice things for her, she will be so happy and you will be happy making her happy. Patience is part of iman, so you really need to be more patient and kind.

 

[*charisma*]

Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.”

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813

Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim

عَنْ جَابِرٍ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِنَّ إِبْلِيسَ يَضَعُ عَرْشَهُ عَلَى الْمَاءِ ثُمَّ يَبْعَثُ سَرَايَاهُ فَأَدْنَاهُمْ مِنْهُ مَنْزِلَةً أَعْظَمُهُمْ فِتْنَةً يَجِيءُ أَحَدُهُمْ فَيَقُولُ فَعَلْتُ كَذَا وَكَذَا فَيَقُولُ مَا صَنَعْتَ شَيْئًا قَالَ ثُمَّ يَجِيءُ أَحَدُهُمْ فَيَقُولُ مَا تَرَكْتُهُ حَتَّى فَرَّقْتُ بَيْنَهُ وَبَيْنَ امْرَأَتِهِ قَالَ فَيُدْنِيهِ مِنْهُ وَيَقُولُ نِعْمَ أَنْتَ

2813 صحيح مسلم كتاب صفة القيامة والجنة والنار باب تحريش الشيطان وبعثه سراياه لفتنة الناس وأن مع كل إنسان قرينا​

 

[Sakina'141]

She should wear the Scarf over her hair for the Sake of Pleasing Allah alone at her own will.

She shouldn't and probably wouldn't do it just because you keep asking her to do so...it feels Forced and insincere to Allah if she just wears it because of you. She is most probably waiting to wear with her own will sometime in the future without being forced by you then it would feel sincere (for Allah) to her and she will be very happy and content in wearing it out of her own free wil. Its an act of worship that won't be accepted without sincereity just like prayer and fasting - she can't fast and pray for you nor can she wear the scarf just to please you.

Say Alhamdulillah that she is weaing Loose clothes that covers her back and chest and that she does not interact with opposite gender unnecessarily as you stated. That is big part of modeasty in itself, she is practising a lot of hijab with rest of her clothing and modest behaviour. You should be very pleased, not complaining. Say Alhamdulillah that she prays 5 times a day - that is a Huge achievement in this day and age. MashaAllah, she should be Congratulated.

I don't know your wife personally but from what you said, I can see many good qualities in her and I don't know why you want to divorce her just because she doesn't cover her head or you had few arguments, you say she is stubborn but you need acknowledge you have also been stubborn yourself, no marriage is ever fairytale happily ever after...there will be arguments/disagreements and clashes, its about constantly forgiving, over-looking and letting go of the past just like you do with your family. Talk to your wife about the way you are feeling, don't even consider divorce without even talking to try resolve things and address the communication issues, you should seeking marriage counselling with third party (Imam) and marraige reconcilation if necessary. If all of these things does not work thing out, may be seperation for short period may help to think things through. Divorce should be the last resort. There are many other options to try before you consider that.

Also I have to tell you this...please remember this:

* Please don't assume that every hijabi muslima that you see walking around the street/posing on intagram actually prays 5X times a day & fasts like your wife does or that they are "pure" just because of wearing hijab/niqab. Please don't assume that they are not in some secret haram relationships & interactions with the opposite sex or that pray 5X day/fasts etc. Beecause I am telling you that your non-hijab wearing Peruvian wife is more pure than the hypocritical muslims commiting zina wearing hijabs/abayas/niqab/beards and some don't even pray daily/fast etc. Nevertheless, Please do think well of all fellow muslims whether they look religious or doesn't appear very religious...think well of everyone but don't be suprised if you see/find out/end up marrying seemingly religious muslims doing some dodgy things behind parents/others backs.

Sorry I don't mean to be negative about certain muslims wearing religious attires but are not as religious as they protray themselves to be. I have had several very bad cases of my own friends who I thought was very "religious" only to find out they've been in secret haram relationships behind everyone's back pretending to be Pure outwardly. I am just telling you this becuase YOU really don't realise how good your wife actually is even without hijab, at least she is modest in rest of dressing and acts modesty outside with opposite gender and you can TRUST her. She is actually a good muslim in my humble opinion. At least she's not a hyporcite like some muslims.

 

[Sakina'141]

^ Ok Sorry about the essay...but I have major issues with fake superficial people. People shouldn't focus so much on external appearances and how they appear to mortal beings...only leads to fakeness. People should only care about what Allah thinks of them...He only looks at our hearts and intentions with everything we do. Can't fool Allah like we fool people.

 

[Shireen93]

My husband has given me freedom whether to wear hijab, niqab or not. Most of time I dont wear, only when relatives or my in laws visit I wear.

 

[talibilm]

Even if she slips into those things they are valid reasons for divorce but that's like only if he wants a divorce if he still loves her and she slips into kuffar or shirk he could just stay married to her because as I said even Noah (as) was married to a kuffar but like if he doesn't like his wife and she's doing major things like riba or stealing than he should divorce her so like I mean don't base is by her sins and don't base it by your feelings for her combine it if she's a awful Muslim with a horrible character that hasn't been willing to change and you can't bear her then sure divorce is fine but if it's purley because she sins or it's purley because you don't like her personality you shouldn't divorce her because both of those are things that can change

Do You mean Luth :AS:'s wife ? who was left behind in the azaab of Allah. If there is Noah's wife a kafir , No. His son was . kindly give me a ref

Ibrahim AS just left a sign to his Son to divorce his wife he divorced and Umar :RA: 's son loved ......(below hadith) .


Dawud :: Book 41 : Hadith 5119
Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar: A woman was my wife and I loved her, but Umar hated her. He said to me: Divorce her, but I refused. Umar then went to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and mentioned that to him. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Divorce her.

are some few proofs i had come across. But we know more than theft Shirk , kuffar are more bigger sins and we are not supposed to marry kafirs, mushriks.


But though divorce is a last resort its a halal option Allah has given to both Muslim & muslima but its a halal thing which Allah hates too . If a marriage will end up killings or make you leave and make you far from Islam its better to divorce.


BRO, SIS @mods @AabiruSabeel

Has the background colour has been changed to black ? even :saws: does not appear clear. The earlier one was better

 

[fromelsewhere]

Dear brothers and sisters,

My wife converted to the Islam 2 years ago and is originally from Peru. Lately I am facing some serious problems with my wife. My wife refuse to wear a hijab, is temperament and is sometimes really stubborn with me. I explained her that wearing hijab is really important in the Islam, she know this also. But she told me that for her is difficult and she will never wear a scarf or hijab. I told her that I want to see her in the paradise and we have to work together to achieve it. But, I cannot do this by myself. Also I told her that I am responsible for her and she need to obey me instead to be stubborn.

My wife she pray her 5 daily prayers and she also doing the Ramadan.

I cannot force my wife to wear the hijab, but I am also tired to repeat and to fight for this. I think my wife will not change her mind set. We still don’t have children, is it for me acceptable to stay in this relationship or do I need to divorce her? Or follow and do this for Allah?

Thank you for advising.

You are right, you cannot force your wife to wear the hijab. If you wanted a wife who wears hijab, you should have married one who wore it. You can't just marry a woman and expect that all of a sudden, she'll change her habits just to please you.

Another thing what bother me is the feeling that i had for her is gone. This is all because of the fights that we have had. What can i do about this.

You need to stop fighting with her. If you guys can't get along and are always fighting, there is a point at which you might have to call it quits.

 

[Bobbyflay23]

Do You mean Luth :AS:'s wife ? who was left behind in the azaab of Allah. If there is Noah's wife a kafir , No. His son was . kindly give me a ref

Ibrahim AS just left a sign to his Son to divorce his wife he divorced and Umar :RA: 's son loved ......(below hadith) .


Dawud :: Book 41 : Hadith 5119
Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar: A woman was my wife and I loved her, but Umar hated her. He said to me: Divorce her, but I refused. Umar then went to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and mentioned that to him. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Divorce her.

are some few proofs i had come across. But we know more than theft Shirk , kuffar are more bigger sins and we are not supposed to marry kafirs, mushriks.


But though divorce is a last resort its a halal option Allah has given to both Muslim & muslima but its a halal thing which Allah hates too . If a marriage will end up killings or make you leave and make you far from Islam its better to divorce.


BRO, SIS @mods @AabiruSabeel

Has the background colour has been changed to black ? even :saws: does not appear clear. The earlier one was better

I've read fatwas on this we should marry a Muslim over a kafir if we have the option but we are allowed but men are allowed to marry kafirs I would just consider it mukrooh and also a sheikh I was listening to on a podcast and also I just looked it up and according to this website https://www.thoughtco.com/prophet-nuh-noah-in-islam-2004537 his wife was also a disbeliever and also most prophets had wives many of them will come to allah with no followers so that means there wife if they had one was a desbliever

 

[Abz2000]

 

[tia]

okay. i apologize to everyone.

 

[Bobbyflay23]

okay. i apologize to everyone.

No need to apologize it's true about that he should never try to divorce her over the head scarf but you suggesting him to divorce her over it is not good advice but alhudillah you realized this divorce isn't somthing to be played with the only person you should apologize to is the person asking the question because you used words like dumb just edit the comment you made and edit out the offensive things you could private message him the apology if you want to make sure he reads it

 

[sister herb]

This is why in Islam, we don't marry for love.

I could say that some Muslims do so. Or do you think that it´s not allowed in Islam to marry with person you love (have feeling of love before marriage, no physical contacts of course)?