Not being able to marry the one i truly love

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amani said:
oh my intention was not to judge about ur age difference sister, but rather to ask if it really IS a difference that cant be over looked. Remember the age difference between Khadija radhiallahu anha and Muhammed :arabic5: and also Muhammed :arabic5: and Aisha radhiallahu anha...im not gonna pretend age doesnt matter in this society because it does BUT if its age and that is the only issue then that is something minor inshaAllah
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If it was just the age, then no it wouldn't be such a huge problem, it would still be a problem but not so much that i would be willing to give him up.
The age gap at this stage in our lives means that we have very different lives, but in a few years it wouldn't matter really, not to us anyway. We've never even felt there is an age gap between us, he has enough maturity when it is needed to actually act like a husband and advice me and tell me what i should and shouldn't do with enough sincerity and wisdom, and i would listen to him.
 
Abu Sukkar, i guess that means you would only ever be with your husband..
 
Dear Sister

You seem intent to want him in this life or the next.

If you have given this up for Allah then InshAllah it will be replaced with something far far better

We truly don't understand the wisdom behind certain decisions and we have no idea about the fitnah we have been saved from.


I can tell you about couples that i know who married out of love and disregarded everything their families said and now they living a nightmare.

My advice is try to put this behind you, make dua and work for Allah.

If we reach Jannah Allah will give us the best of companions.
 
Abu Sukkar said:
Have you ever watched horse racing? Mum loves horses so i like watching it with her. Horses wear blinkers to stop them looking at the sides they look right ahead. This is like us. We see a thing and we want it soooooooooooooooooooo bad we will move mountains to get it. We will make excuses like 'So and so don't know what they talking about', 'My parents they holding me back' etc but there are sooo many factors to consider.

QUOTE]

very nice analogy and very true, i should take this to heart too i'm told that i'm very hard headed.

and to the sister inshaallah everything will work out.

On the authority of Abdullah bin Abbas, who said : One day I was behind the prophet and he said to me: “Young man, I shall teach you some words [of advice] : Be mindful of Allah, and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah, and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, ask of Allah; if you seek help, seek help of Allah. Know that if the Nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, it would benefit you only with something that Allah had already prescribed for you, and that if they gather together to harm you with anything, they would harm you only with something Allah had already prescribed for you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.”

narrated by Tirmithi,

salaam
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Thankyou for everyone's advice.

We are now no longer together.

We are both hurting inside, and he didn't want it to end, but i feel it is the right thing to do in the long term and for everyone's happiness, i cannot imagine it would ever lead to anything except bad times for so many people, if we tried to stay together and create happiness for just ourselves.

He had an accident the other day from being so distracted and upset. He wasn't seriously hurt, but was hurt quite badly.
 
May Allah give you both peace, ameen

try and recite Inna Lillahi wa ilaihi rajaoon,

it means to Allah we belong and to Him we will return,

if soeone loses someone to death, it is also advised then or any other loss, it soothes the heart, because the person gets distracted by thinking of his own fate and How everything will be eventually lost...

hope that it helps you..
 
Ukhti, I hope there is khair in this for both of you, and I know there will be inshaAllah, because Allah is the most wise and most merciful, he knows what is best for us even when we ourselves are lost confused. Even if you feel horrible right now, just smile, for the sake of smiling. It helps. :)
 

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