Not feeling like marrying here, what to do when family pressure comes?

[Serinity]

I mean, I don't want children or a family here. I just feel like the political and social atmosphere to be too toxic. Or I am just over reacting.

But I geniunely do not want any of my off spring to live here. I already hate the poltical atmosphere and direction.

An attack on any value on Islam, is an attack on the whole religion and Allah. Be it Hijab, Niqab, etc. So I feel that the moment the kuffar try to use the laws to ban any part of Islam, that they are attacking Islam. Say the adhaan. Where is the Adhaan??

I just dont feel like risking my off spring to become Kuffar. What kind of burden would that be on The Day of Judgment?

Banning 1 thing leads to another. and in translation, what they are saying is "we dont want you to show your Islam!" What a disaster! Wallah. Because, if not by Hijab, Masjids, and Adhaan, how will our children's life be?

How will they show their Islam?

Our children will be left with the decision of choosing the Western culture and adopt kufr, or the Islamic one. If the government makes it hard for us to show our deen. Then it will make it harder for our children to do that. Making them choose the easier one, because of the setup.

Allahu alam.

 

[anatolian]

You are free. All is up to you. You can decide where to live. There is a rising anti-Islamic sentiment in Europe but know that there is also everywhere. Muslims persecute muslims in muslim lands. You must just know that even if all the world is against you, you still need to remain muslim, where ever you live. It is a struggle between you and them.

 

[Supernova]

Asalaamualaykum,

A comprehensive read on the life of All the Ambiyah, Rasool [SAW] & the illustrious companions will be proof that they themselves went through the same issues. In many cases it was actually worse. Going on your logic - should everyone think like that it will halt the growth of muslim population in western countries or countries with western values.

The Sahaba had the makkan tribes (and other tribes too), Persians and romans on their back but still moved forward with patience.

I do see your point, however your logic is flawed in this case.

 

[sister herb]

Our children will be left with the decision of choosing the Western culture and adopt kufr, or the Islamic one. If the government makes it hard for us to show our deen. Then it will make it harder for our children to do that. Making them choose the easier one, because of the setup.

We all have to make this decision and if the government makes it hard or harder than it´s today, the only way is that we (and our children) have to fight back. It wouldn´t be the first battle in this world.

I have seen similar pondering about this matter also among then westeners; they are wondering is it ok to make children for this world as here is so many problems with wars, in society, economy, pollution etc. Maybe also our parents were thinking same - but lucky to us, they decided to be strong and make us (their children) strong too. You can make same with your kids in the future. Give them a good education what increases their deen and their understanding about this world, life and Islam. At the end, it´s their own decision how they will choose - like it has been same with all of us.

 

[Serinity]

So, I guess, we just have to fight back if the need arises.

If all Muslims did this, we'd basically "kill" ourselves. Not good. Counter productive. So basically, what I should do is make dua that any off spring I get, that Allah guides them, and protects them? Perhaps, my children may be the "revolutionaries" and change society for the better.

But we do not know that. But yeah, again, even if the whole world went against me, I should still remain Muslim, and fight back if need be.

Or I could just migrate, but that'd be hard. Ps. I know none outside my family, except a very few. I have almost 0 genuine friends lol. XD Only 1 I can think of lol.

But what if my children become careless of Islam, and don't care? Of course I will answer their questions etc. And all that. I just dont want the burden on the DOJ.

Allahu alam.

 

[sister herb]

What I meant about fighting back wasn´t meant any armed battle. Just refuse to follow different kind of hijab or prayer bans, refuse to stop showing their religion, speak openly about the faith. Speak with people and teach them to see what Islam really is. It is same what several Muslims are doing every day already.

We can´t know what and how our children will live or what kind of decisions they will make. Don´t ask those "what if"- questions. If you do so, you may always think only the worst answers.

If you decide to migrate and rise your children in some Muslim society, remember that it´s same where ever they grow up and live, they still at one day have to make their own decision about what kind of life style they will follow. The western influence has spreaded to all over the world - also to the Islamic societies. In Islamic countries may have mosques at every corners and you can keep adhan as your alarm clock but if people don´t keep Allah in their hearts, the mosques are only the buildings.

 

[Serinity]

What I meant about fighting back wasn´t meant any armed battle. Just refuse to follow different kind of hijab or prayer bans, refuse to stop showing their religion, speak openly about the faith. Speak with people and teach them to see what Islam really is. It is same what several Muslims are doing every day already.

We can´t know what and how our children will live or what kind of decisions they will make. Don´t ask those "what if"- questions. If you do so, you may always think only the worst answers.

If you decide to migrate and rise your children in some Muslim society, remember that it´s same where ever they grow up and live, they still at one day have to make their own decision about what kind of life style they will follow. The western influence has spreaded to all over the world - also to the Islamic societies. In Islamic countries may have mosques at every corners and you can keep adhan as your alarm clock but if people don´t keep Allah in their hearts, the mosques are only the buildings.

By fighting back, I meant "fight back with whatever means neccessary".

Yeah, I understand that I can't control my children or choose for them. I do my best, and no more. Allahu alam.

 

[Shamnadanu]

in here we have lot of masjids etc...a lot of true muslims in the land of india...likewise you said a large portion of muslims are following western...Thats why i desperately spoken in my old posts.

 

[noraina]

Wa alaykum assalam,

I sometimes think about this, there is definitely a rising anti-Islamic sentiment across Europe - just today I had a rather frightening experience when I was outside.

But, I think sometimes as Muslims we can have an idealistic view of the Muslim countries, as spiritual havens and 'bubbles' entirely separate from the negative influences of everything around them. The truth is far from that, the last time I went to a Muslim country, I had massive expectations and experienced a bit of a culture shock at the state of things around me, but that was my own fault.

Don't get me wrong, the idea of moving to a Muslim country where you could hear the adhaan everyday (subhanAllah!), not fear wearing the hijab outside, ect is very attractive, but I don't believe that where you live has much effect on your piety or righteousness.

As far as children is concerned, proper upbringing and tarbiyah is what it important. And that is hard. From when they are toddlers, guiding them and protecting them from haraam and bad influences, and when they are young adults steering them away from the bad decisions, keeping them first upon the deen and yet not being so overbearing you push them away from the religion. I honestly, honestly believe that if you invest in your children, that does not go to waste. 95% of the time, if you strive to teach and guide them, they will remain firm upon their religion. I'm almost sure of that.

I have cousins from Muslim countries who are so distant from the deen.

External surroundings or circumstances shouldn't affect what's inside one's heart - it is much harder in a non-Muslim country, I know that, but it isn't impossible to raise pious children here.

 

[aaj]

A Muslim's belief is to never lose hope. Prophet :saws1: said if you knew tomorrow the world will end, plant a tree today. That is looking at the world and life optimistically.

At the same time, Allah has promised hellfire to those who stay in oppressed lands and did not travel when they could.

Indeed, those whom the angels take [in death] while wronging themselves - [the angels] will say, "In what [condition] were you?" They will say, "We were oppressed in the land." The angels will say, "Was not the earth of Allah spacious [enough] for you to emigrate therein?" For those, their refuge is Hell - and evil it is as a destination. 4:97

We are living in the last days and it's only a matter of time before the western nations kick muslims out of their lands. Rather then clinging to the west, isn't it time Muslims start thinking about making a home in a Muslim land. It's not utopia but millions of Muslims live there and managed to live there just fine, is that not better than live in the land of kufr and to wear mini skirts with hijab as part of school "policy" in the west. .

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/w...-countries-syria-iran-iraq-poll-a7567301.html

 

[sister herb]

But, I think sometimes as Muslims we can have an idealistic view of the Muslim countries, as spiritual havens and 'bubbles' entirely separate from the negative influences of everything around them.

I was thinking same. Also for someones it may be even easier be a practicing Muslim in anti-Islamic west as you have to struggling for your rights to follow your own religion, it then keeps your faith "fresh" and reminds you how important it is to follow your daily routines like praying or wearing hijab. In more positive environment you may become lazy with religion as it´s so easy to follow it.

Just my thoughts.

 

[noraina]

I was thinking same. Also for someones it may be even easier be a practicing Muslim in anti-Islamic west as you have to struggling for your rights to follow your own religion, it then keeps your faith "fresh" and reminds you how important it is to follow your daily routines like praying or wearing hijab. In more positive environment you may become lazy with religion as it´s so easy to follow it.

Just my thoughts.

That's also true.

Maybe in a Muslim country it is easier as you are, in that sense, further away from haram influences and surrounded by a fairly Islamic environment.

But in a non-Muslim country, your struggle for your faith just highlights even more how valuable your religion is. And I think being surrounded by people who are not Muslims makes you very conscious of your own faith, and your duty to represent it well.

 

[Simple_Person]

Brother, i was HONESTLY planning to make hijra. My intention was ONLY for my deen. Back in my own home country, i saw a life of ease..less stress, masjid on every corner, hearing adhaan every time, eating meat and no stress if it is halal or not. Better weather, majority of my family living there. You could say everything that you could seek. The second year i went on the vacation, i looked beyond those "eases". The way people talked, the way people behaved..i was disgusted. There was NO imaan.

By mouth all "alhamdullilah ..this and alhamdulillah that"..when the word alhamdulillah was spoken..the whole story of them complaining. Or gossiping. Or using each other, because if you helped somebody..so he can help you in the future mentality which is prohibited in Islam. Those people know ma'sha'Allah a lot about Islam, but they have little to no understanding of it. Looking from Dunya perspective, making hijra was the PERFECT thing to do, but my intention was for the deen. I decided to not make hijra anymore. If i went there, i would have become like them. They do not leave you alone. What they do, they want you to also be part of it.

Sub'han'Allah, when i shortly made the decision to not go, Allah(swt) showed me the eye of the tornado. The west is a tornado, but it has also a eye. There are so to say cracks in this society, that gives you the ability to live a Islamic way of Life. To give you an example. In the west because of individualism, people leave you alone. You can practice your deen, go to the masjid, weak up for nightprayer. It is a calm life, while back home..people will bother you every day. They come to visit you when it is way past isha prayer for example. Or their talk is all about money and materialism. Macho behavior, their women are their slaves, or in my case they even defended the people in power, while knowing those guys were not oke. There are a lot of towns with a lot of different neighborhoods. Choose one which is mixed or majority foreigners. If that is the case, people respect each other, despite some not being Muslim. My own neighbors on one side are not Muslims, i have alhamdulillah very good contact with them. or my other neighbors (under), also not Muslim. Also i have very good contact with them.

If i were to go to my own country, it would have been a tsunami. There is no center in tsunami. It is all destruction.

 

[sister herb]

I think that at nowadays there are same haram influencies in the Muslim countries like they are everywhere. People have some nasty vices and they find the ways to fulfill them where ever they are. It might not be so visible like in the west but sometimes it also may be surprisingly visible.

 

[Simple_Person]

I think that at nowadays there are same haram influencies in the Muslim countries like they are everywhere. People have some nasty vices and they find the ways to fulfill them where ever they are. It might not be so visible like in the west but sometimes it also may be surprisingly visible.

Sister, i think we can safely say that it is better living in the west then back "home". In the west, you there is less of this "pretending". People are what they are, nobody is hiding it. When you know that, you can adapt to it. When people are trying to hide who they are, that becomes a bit more difficult. Do you say somebody is a Muslim (if he is hiding his true nature) or he is not a Muslim? Do you treat them as a Muslim or not? Do you say something, that they might use it against you (if they are hypocrites)? Back home things are way more complicated. I HATE the way people back home speak. A LOT of their talk is "dipped" in sarcasm. People have a lot of envy. They treat you as how they see themselves. For example, if somebody always talks with sarcasm they also treat your speech as if it is sarcasm. If you come in honesty, they think you are lying, because they themselves are like that. If you even swear on Allah's name as i don't like to do that, they still don't believe you as i suspect they also swear on Allah's name while lying..so think you are doing the same.

 

[sister herb]

Hmm... People are basicly same in everywhere. To some it´s easier to live and follow their religion in one kind of environment and to other it´s easier in somewhere else.

 

[Serinity]

Honestly, Idk. I have to reassess.

 

[Mustafa16]

Honestly, Idk. I have to reassess.

brother, I heard the Sharjah emirate in UAE is good to move to.....people are very pious, and many (if not most, I'm not sure) practice the salafi methodology, and it is better than moving to places like abu dhabi (within UAE) where things have become westernized and expats coming for hijrah have become disillusioned.....

 

[Simple_Person]

brother, I heard the Sharjah emirate in UAE is good to move to.....people are very pious, and many (if not most, I'm not sure) practice the salafi methodology, and it is better than moving to places like abu dhabi (within UAE) where things have become westernized and expats coming for hijrah have become disillusioned.....

The GULF-countries that are full of foreigners (western people ..), are being poisoned by alcohol and prostitution. Many women from eastern Europe and Asia are going to there to earn a lot of money by prostitution.

Documentary: https://youtu.be/rAWzUOkK2hw

 

[Serinity]

Brother, i was HONESTLY planning to make hijra. My intention was ONLY for my deen. Back in my own home country, i saw a life of ease..less stress, masjid on every corner, hearing adhaan every time, eating meat and no stress if it is halal or not. Better weather, majority of my family living there. You could say everything that you could seek. The second year i went on the vacation, i looked beyond those "eases". The way people talked, the way people behaved..i was disgusted. There was NO imaan.

By mouth all "alhamdullilah ..this and alhamdulillah that"..when the word alhamdulillah was spoken..the whole story of them complaining. Or gossiping. Or using each other, because if you helped somebody..so he can help you in the future mentality which is prohibited in Islam. Those people know ma'sha'Allah a lot about Islam, but they have little to no understanding of it. Looking from Dunya perspective, making hijra was the PERFECT thing to do, but my intention was for the deen. I decided to not make hijra anymore. If i went there, i would have become like them. They do not leave you alone. What they do, they want you to also be part of it.

Sub'han'Allah, when i shortly made the decision to not go, Allah(swt) showed me the eye of the tornado. The west is a tornado, but it has also a eye. There are so to say cracks in this society, that gives you the ability to live a Islamic way of Life. To give you an example. In the west because of individualism, people leave you alone. You can practice your deen, go to the masjid, weak up for nightprayer. It is a calm life, while back home..people will bother you every day. They come to visit you when it is way past isha prayer for example. Or their talk is all about money and materialism. Macho behavior, their women are their slaves, or in my case they even defended the people in power, while knowing those guys were not oke. There are a lot of towns with a lot of different neighborhoods. Choose one which is mixed or majority foreigners. If that is the case, people respect each other, despite some not being Muslim. My own neighbors on one side are not Muslims, i have alhamdulillah very good contact with them. or my other neighbors (under), also not Muslim. Also i have very good contact with them.

If i were to go to my own country, it would have been a tsunami. There is no center in tsunami. It is all destruction.

Yes, I know it is hard, and may not even be able to do it myself. Allah :swt: knows best.

I honestly know NONE in the Middle East. I know only those in my home country (Kosovo) and here in the west.

The only good thing about Kosovo is the Masjids. Other than that, I don't like it at all. Lazy people, corrupt government, no revolution in infrastructure, etc. If you say "LETS CHANGE THIS COUNTRY!" they will laugh at you, if you are serious about something, they will laugh too.

I'll, honestly, hardly find any people there who wants to change society. You are better off doing everything yourself. but that is also unrealistic. Or I could just stand by ground and spread Islam here. Alhamdulillah, I am not giving up.

Kosovo is so corrupt you can barely earn 10$ a day. Teachers earn MAX around 400$ . How are they expecting revolution when greed is all they know??