Not marrying, is it a big sin?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Argamemnon
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ur just gonna end up scaring urself and you can't condemn urself to hell so there. That's Allah's decision.

If u have a real problem and u want to please Allah them ask Him sincerely and He will open a path for u Insha'Allah
 
alot is not all. and everyone is not right. stick to the qur'an and sunnah and don't let people lead u aside. if they threaten u it's probably because they care for u. Allah knows.
 
Argamemnon said:
A lot of other Muslims scare me with their hell threats :cry:
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i cant help but find that funny,


you mean they say "you will go to helL!"


hmm, i think its kinda good, its a reminder right? bro take heed! we should all be prepared for the day of judgement (to avoid hell).

be careful of the "NO YOU WILL GO TO HELL INSTEAD D.A.M.N YOU" attitude, stay humble inshAllah
 
Well, since I'm not a young person anymore it has become much easier to lower my gaze, lol.
 
Argamemnon said:
Well, since I'm not a young person anymore it has become much easier to lower my gaze, lol.
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but i know so many men your age who commit zina...

you are not 60 brother (and i even know people at that age who are active)

brother, you know what is best for your islaam, if you can get yourself to care only about the here-after, marriage shouldnt be a problem inshAllah.
 
Thank you for your replies dear brothers and sisters. English is not my first language, I live in the Netherlands.
 
The prophet was much older when he married most of his wives. and he's our example. Anyway Alahu a'lam
 
Why would a Muslim single man not want to get married? My dad told all of my family that we have to wait till we are 27 or 30 to get married. The next year my sister went out and got married. lol I dont know why my parents compare muslim youth to Non muslim Youth?
 
I have chronic mental health problems and don't think I could handle having a family and raise children. It's my fate to live a lonely life, but I will do everything I can to become a good Muslim.
 
lots of people don't get married.. my dad's friend is fifty something and unmarried.. he never had a desire to....
I don't think anyone knows for sure where anyone is going in the here after.. seems silly to ask such a question do forgive me.. but how can anyone here know you better than you?-- or give you a guarantee on that matter in one form or the other?

all the best

:w:
 
Arga.. try to relax dear brother.. you are not trying to catch a train or are behind schedule.. if you don't catch this one, you may catch the next one, and if you don't like trains you can simply go walking.. we all get what is meant for us.. I think it is concerned parents that need to see their kids married by 23 or else.. I have written several stories to that extent on this forum, of meddling folks who have let to the demise of others...

someday maybe now, maybe ten yrs from now, if you are able and desirous, you'll find someone.. I don't think it is the sort of thing you really should stress about under any circumstance... trust me you are not the first person in his thirties unmarried.. in fact I believe one of the religious obligations of marriage amongst other things is that you are financially and psychologically ready to handle the burden.. that may happen at 17 or 37.. so pls just relax, and let Allah swt in your heart and as your guide..


Allah SWT knows best

:w:
 
Skye Ephémérine said:
lots of people don't get married.. my dad's friend is fifty something and unmarried.. he never had a desire to....
I don't think anyone knows for sure where anyone is going in the here after.. seems silly to ask such a question do forgive me.. but how can anyone here know you better than you?-- or give you a guarantee on that matter in one form or the other?

all the best

:w:
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I fear God and I fear punishment. I want to be sure that I'm not committing a big sin. God knows best, I know that nobody can give me a guarantee on anything.
 
:sl:

Brother lets get one thing VERY clear.

To choose to remain single is NOT a sin. Let me repeat that:

IT IS HALAL TO NOT WANT TO MARRY. You will not go to hell just for remaining single.

In fact if you fear that you can not do your family justice or treat your wife/kids well (a genuine fear, as you seem to have because of your condition) then it recommended that you do not marry. Of course I am not saying thsi applies to you! I'm not in any position to judge your situation.

However I just want to make it clear that you are not sinning.

On the flip side marriage becomes obligatory on a person who is very likely to commit zina.
 
Argamemnon said:
I fear God and I fear punishment. I want to be sure that I'm not committing a big sin. God knows best, I know that nobody can give me a guarantee on anything.
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:sl:

I don't understand?
there are requirements for a marriage.. you feel you are unable to meet them, hence I ask, why or how is it a sin?

I think those giving you advise, are more under the impression that marriage will be good for you, and for the most part it is, if you can find the right partner.. marriage isn't merely about reproducing or engaging in sexual activity... it is about caring, and friendship, and compassion and companionship.. it is about being responsible, and wanting to do the best not just for your person but for both as a unit and if any children should come along.. I think it would be a sin to lead someone on and then deny them their rights because you are unable to fulfill them on any level... that isn't to say you shouldn't get married if you can't have children or are poor, I am saying you need to be forth coming and accepting of your own faults and those of others...

akhi.. I sense a vacillation in you, and I really think you should just take it easy.. insha'Allah things will work out..

:w:
 
Skye Ephémérine said:
Arga.. try to relax dear brother.. you are not trying to catch a train or are behind schedule.. if you don't catch this one, you may catch the next one, and if you don't like trains you can simply go walking.. we all get what is meant for us.. I think it is concerned parents that need to see their kids married by 23 or else.. I have written several stories to that extent on this forum, of meddling folks who have let to the demise of others...

someday maybe now, maybe ten yrs from now, if you are able and desirous, you'll find someone.. I don't think it is the sort of thing you really should stress about under any circumstance... trust me you are not the first person in his thirties unmarried.. in fact I believe one of the religious obligations of marriage amongst other things is that you are financially and psychologically ready to handle the burden.. that may happen at 17 or 37.. so pls just relax, and let Allah swt in your heart and as your guide..


Allah SWT knows best

:w:
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Thank you very much for your kind words dear sister. I feel I have wasted my youth. It's very painful. But it wasn't meant to be (when you are severely depresed you can't enjoy anything in life, and you have no hopes at all). I strongly feel like giving up altogether, but it's best to let Allah (swt) in my heart and as my guide, as you said.
 
Malaikah said:
:sl:

Brother lets get one thing VERY clear.

To choose to remain single is NOT a sin. Let me repeat that:

IT IS HALAL TO NOT WANT TO MARRY. You will not go to hell just for remaining single.

In fact if you fear that you can not do your family justice or treat your wife/kids well (a genuine fear, as you seem to have because of your condition) then it recommended that you do not marry. Of course I am not saying thsi applies to you! I'm not in any position to judge your situation.

However I just want to make it clear that you are not sinning.
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Thank you, that's very clear sister.

On the flip side marriage becomes obligatory on a person who is very likely to commit zina.
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well, no such problem for me, I'm a sad and depressed man.
 
I feel as though this whole umma is sad and depressed sob7an Allah.. we've been let down and letting ourselves down.. I think it is time we all got back up from this position.. but before that happens we have to fix ourselves..

Arga.. I hope insha'Allah you find the help you deserve and need and that you come out from under this dark cloud that seems to have captured your being... May Allah swt grant you a fast recovery from whatever it is that is afflicting you...

I hope you find a sense of kinship on this forum..

The Prophet said: 'The religion (of Islam) is easy. No one ever made it difficult without it becoming too much for him. So avoid extremes and strike a balance, do the best you can and be cheerful, and seek Allah's help (through prayer) in the morning, and evening, and part of the night.' (Sahîh Bukhârî)

:w:
 
Argamemnon said:
Thank you very much for your kind words dear sister. I feel I have wasted my youth. It's very painful. But it wasn't meant to be (when you are severely depresed you can't enjoy anything in life, and you have no hopes at all). I strongly feel like giving up altogether, but it's best to let Allah (swt) in my heart and as my guide, as you said.
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:sl:

you feel alone, but you aren't... browse the forum, you'll see many others share in your condition.. in fact, I think those who don't go through this are the aberration not the other way around.. there isn't a day that goes by that I don't reflect on what I have lost (loved ones) my wasted yrs, and if it makes you feel any better know that I too was treated for depression and have had major really bad lapses.. it doesn't make you a lesser person you know.. anymore than being afflicted with a headache or heart disease makes you a lesser person...

you are not well, and you should seek help as well ask Allah swt to remove this affliction from you, so that you can embrace life once more...

May Allah swt grant you recovery akhi, and insha'Allah when the time is right, a great companion who will be a loving caring spouse to you and shoulders these burdens with you...

I'll keep you in my du3a insha'Allah

:w:
 

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