Opposite Gender Concerns

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Re: okay..um I'm nt sure what 2 name this thread

Muslimah_Sis said:
I'm not judging you but ^that^ means you told both men you love them? How would they feel if they knew? Cheated perhaps? I'm sorry but it's not on sis. Stop playing with their feelings. Choose one who's stronger in his deen and let the other poor guy off the hook. I don't mean to be horrible but imagine someone did that to you.
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Sorry I don't mean to offend......but i totally agree with Muslimah_sis.
 
what about family?

i am a converted muslim (hispanic) and i am engaged with a born raise muslim. (palestinian) well see when he told his family about me, he didnt much agree on him marrying a hispanic muslim. as time went on, they got to know me better and thought i was a strong hearted muslim and also a great person. however, they feel that marrying an arabic girl (mainly from his country) would be better off because she has more to offer. so basicaully here is my concern, his family doesnt hate me but doesnt like me either. she dont agree in marrying an hispanic girl but just accepted it because they saw how much we really do love each other and dedciate our lives to islam. however, they arent happy with the engagement. so here is my question, do you think its worth marrying someone you love but his family doesnt like or approve of you?
 
is it worth it?

i am a converted muslim (hispanic) and i am engaged with a born raise muslim. (palestinian) well see when he told his family about me, he didnt much agree on him marrying a hispanic muslim. as time went on, they got to know me better and thought i was a strong hearted muslim and also a great person. however, they feel that marrying an arabic girl (mainly from his country) would be better off because she has more to offer. so basicaully here is my concern, his family doesnt hate me but doesnt like me either. she dont agree in marrying an hispanic girl but just accepted it because they saw how much we really do love each other and dedciate our lives to islam. however, they arent happy with the engagement. so here is my question, do you think its worth marrying someone you love but his family doesnt like or approve of you?
 
Re: what about family?

:sl:

Threads Merged. Just make one thread on the same topic, you'll get more replies that way :)
 
Re: what about family?

Asalaamu 'alykum (peace be upon you.)


Sister, how about doing istikharah?

http://www.islamicboard.com/cyber-c...ing-allaah-subhaanahu-wa-taaala-guidance.html


I think that would be more accurate, and i think people will have a difference of opinion. Istikharah is better because you get your guidance from Allaah, and if anything comes up - then you know that Allaah will answer your prayer and guide you to what He knows is best.


May Allaah make this life and the hereafter easy for you, ameen.
 
Re: what about family?

Assalamu alaikum Habbiti
With well over 70,000 latino muslims in the USA your future mother in law really has to learn about this new phenomenon. We are getting daily re-converts who are Latino and they are extremely pious because thier latino roots were engraved early into similar ideals. Islam is a vehicle to morality and a lifestyle- religion for mankind. Latinos find many similarities among family , economics, spirituality , morality etc which we agree wholeheartedly. Coming to Islam is only a journey that we take in life to evolve as human beings.
Your mother in law should be proud that her son saw this inner beauty of yours. Inshallah she should learn more about us and the love that we share with all Muslims. I will make dua that if this family is for you they should awaken from their sleep and love islam and the Muslims as the Prophet would. Ameen. Wasalam , khadijah rivera of PIEDAD
 
Re: what about family?

ya_Giney said:
whats a hispanic muslim?
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:salamext:


Spanish, i think. Alot of the hispanics' forefathers were muslims themselves in Muslim Spain aka Al-Andalus. But theres been a rough history since there was continous Ji-haad between the muslims and christians in spain.
 
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Re: Religious and 'Hot' at the same time?

Anonymous Tester said:
Salam all
For so many years, living and being brought up the Islamic way, alhamdulillah. But I realise that it has made me very conservative - very conservative values. To the point where it is so hard for me to be 'lovey dovey' or intimate with him. I just feel like I can't! I dread to think what i would be like after moving in with him.

I feel like i cant bring together being 'religious' and myself as a seductress or a temptation for my husband. How can i bring the two together? It feels like it just wouldnt work!
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I understand fully where you're coming from sis. All throughout our childhood and adolescence we're told to behave modestly with the opposite gender. That's from an islamic as well as cultural perspective. Women who lack haya & shyness are looked down upon - again reinforcing the message that 'lewd or free' behavior is unacceptable.

While all that's good, we can't help carrying those beliefs into our marriage. We might be feeling wild inside but are scared to show it in case we're judged. But you're husband genuinely wants you to open up to him and not be shy in such matters. He just wants to know that you want him as he does you. And when he feels you're holding back, he feels rejected.

That doesn't mean he wants you be crude or vulgar. Just 'loving' and 'romantic'. Obviously even that isn't easy. But it's a lot easier than saying something more provocative. Think of what kind of response your husband would like then keep repeating it to yourself until you don't feel shy saying it out loud. Then when he phones just say it. Even if it's in a whisper lol :X

But remember never say anything you don't feel. It's so obvious!

P.S if this thread was moved to the sisters section, we could discuss the problem in more detail inshaAllah.
 
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Re: Religious and 'Hot' at the same time?

hmm...sis...why is it you cnt move in with him while studying? i mean that'll solve the problem. how long is your course. i personally would have delayed the nikah, if the course was very very long. anyway, do u not meet him now & then? i mean his your husband, your allowed now.
 
Re: Religious and 'Hot' at the same time?

Thanks so much for your support and answers.
I cant see him because he is in a different country.

May Allah reward you all tremendously.
 
Re: Religious and 'Hot' at the same time?

did the advice help sis? :? :-[
 
Re: Religious and 'Hot' at the same time?

after reading what u just wrote
i believe it is not an issue of being religious and hot at the same time but rather the way you feel for your husband.

sexuality is something that is a natural part of human beings. It would come naturally for a person who finds their spouce attractive

I dont want to get into this all but I just wantad to add this point.
 
Re: okay..um I'm nt sure what 2 name this thread

:sl:

Inshallah Allah swt will guide you to make the right decissions but the sisters above are correct
Allah kows best
 
Re: Religious and 'Hot' at the same time?

akulion said:
after reading what u just wrote
i believe it is not an issue of being religious and hot at the same time but rather the way you feel for your husband.

sexuality is something that is a natural part of human beings. It would come naturally for a person who finds their spouce attractive

I dont want to get into this all but I just wantad to add this point.
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I think this is true and false at the same time. i see mostly people are saying its because its over the phone or because she grew up modest. In my humble opinon i dont think that "has" to be the case, sometimes some people are just not able to express sexuality" in words, and they are more hands on sort of speak. Even people who arent as modest or who are very attracted to their spouses, some people are just unable to express certain things into words.Even if in the inside they are doing backflips and overjoyed.

And Allah knows best. But i think you should try your best to sit and ponder over yourself and see what kind of person you are, meaning how you best express yourself and why is it that you are truly so uncomfortable. Because i think if youre that uncomfortable on the phone you'll definatly go into shock in person.

But may Allah make it easy for you InshaAllah. Ameen
 
bad touch

salaam, wat r u meant 2 do if ur hand touchz the hand of a person of da opposite gender n u didnt feel guilt abut it wen it happend, n u liked it?:cry:
 
Re: bad touch

repent and avoid it! and remember the hadith "its better to get stabbed in the head with a needle than touch a non mahram..."

all the best..
salams
 

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