Private Messaging!

[Woodrow]

I think wat 2 grown up individuals do in pms is their business n none of ours to be frank.

That is true, but at the same time the forum admins and mods have a responsibility to take action if it is misused. The purpose of the PMs should be primarily for the purposes of clarifying posts, encourage same gender friendships and to help spread Islam and strengthen each others Iman.

We shudnt be soo suspicious. We should only worry about our own deeds.

True. It is not the desire of any of us to spread suspicision. However, on a personal note I do have the responsibility to act upon any complaints about any misuse of PMs.

Fortunatly, this is not a problem that affects the large majority of the members. Although I and probably some other staff members have recieved complaints about some misuse, it does seem most members have been using it as intended.

The bottom line. those who use the PM system properly have no problems. If you or anybody else gets an inappropriate PM, please foreward it to a mod or admin.

 

[Re.TiReD]

:salamext:

Lol subhanAllah what a hoo-haa eh?

Yup tiz true that we should look to ourselves and our own deeds first, but where is giving naseehah forbidden?

Also, yeah maybe its none of our business what others do, but just like we are rewarded for enjoining what is good, we are also rewarded for forbidding what is evil. We will be asked about the good that we did, and the ones in a position of power (the mods and admins) will also be asked about what they did and bi'ithnillahu ta'aala they'll be able to say that they stopped free-mixing between the genders.

And @ some of the comments, no there may not be an epidemic of 'intimate PM's' going on, but we take precautions just before the illness right? we protect ourselves from the virus and take all neccassary measures to keep away from it, same way...this is just a reminder, JUST INCASE anything does happen (Allah forbid)....wallahu A'lam.

Oh and btw, those who commented on the bolded part...Brothers - For the sake of Allah (swt) please do not PM sisters without reason....

^^ well I dont see what seems to be the problem? Its a simple request. Case closed

:wasalamex

 

[Na7lah]

i see wat u mean sis

i personally havent experianced anythin like that and i'm sure we have a loot of good hearted brothers here as well as those with bad intentions,

I ask Allah to guide us all and make our hearts firm on his religion

 

[Re.TiReD]

i see wat u mean sis

i personally havent experianced anythin like that and i'm sure we have a loot of good hearted brothers here as well as those with bad intentions,

I ask Allah to guide us all and make our hearts firm on his religion

Ameen, thumma Ameen.

And yeah...I'm sure...actually I'm POSITIVE there are sincere brothers out there, I'm just warning against those not so sincere....No need for any of the brothers to get offended and if they do then I apologise.

:wasalamex

 

[glo]

True there are times that a PM exchange between genders is not only justified, but valued and needed. But, things that may seem to be prying or flirtatious are often not appreciated, in either direction.

I agree.
I've had some of the most valuable PM exchanges with male forum members here in LI.
I have valued them, and never have I thought they were inappropriate.

Besides, men have a way of putting things into perspective, and balancing my views as a woman.

 

[DaNgErOuS MiNdS]

First of all I want to say thanx for the reminder but you dont have to rub it in that much I mean im sure its a small few people that have done this, some of the posts seem as if all brothers are in the middle of writing poems to all sisters.

One thing I want to ask is do the mods act upon complaints and check PM's or do they just go into random bros Pm's to see?

And last but not least my advice to the sisters is that if they get such an email, they should point it out to the bro that what he is doing is wrong, or how he is coming across is not acceptable, because maybe some brother may not even realise it.

 

[Re.TiReD]

:salamext:

SubhanAllah! I aint rubbing anything at all in akhee.

You know what, I'll just leave you with a hadeeth that comes to mind when people say what you just did, when people say that we make it seem as though the sin was actually far worse than it is.

You do things which in your eyes are less significant than a hair, but at the time of the Messenger of Allah, we used to count them as things that could destroy a man. (Bukhaari)

:wasalamex

 

[Woodrow]

First of all I want to say thanx for the reminder but you dont have to rub it in that much I mean im sure its a small few people that have done this, some of the posts seem as if all brothers are in the middle of writing poems to all sisters.

That is true, it does seem to be a very small number. It is not all brothers there although it seems that sisters are more apt to report it to us.

One thing I want to ask is do the mods act upon complaints and check PM's or do they just go into random bros Pm's to see?

It is acting upon PMs that get forwarded to us as being inappropriate. The privacy of members is highly respected and protected as much as is possible.

And last but not least my advice to the sisters is that if they get such an email, they should point it out to the bro that what he is doing is wrong, or how he is coming across is not acceptable, because maybe some brother may not even realise it.

Good point, however to keep things fair, it is best for each member male or female to not reply to a questionable PM and simply report it to us. This will help get another opinion as to if it was an intentional or accidental thing. We are aware that often because of language differences something harmless may be seen in a wrong light.

 

[al.Ghurabaa']

JazakAllahukhairan Jolie for this great thread!

The hadeeth that you just gave - deep...but very true.

Satan won't attack a muslim at once, he's too clever, he'll do it bit by bit...which is why Jolie is just reminding that we should think twice before sending a PM to the opposite gender. I'm sure,that you could PM someone of your own gender who would IA be more that happy to help. There will always be people to help...if not, the mods and admins are here too!!

 

[Re.TiReD]

:salamext:

Wa Iyaak Akhee al.Ghurabaa'

:wasalamex

 

[al.Ghurabaa']

Erm, ana ukht...

Baraka Allahu Feeki...

 

[Re.TiReD]

Erm, ana ukht...

Baraka Allahu Feeki...

:salamext:

Ahh :-[ ana asifa ukht :-[

But another hadeeth: The believer regards his sins as if he were sitting beneath mountain which he fears may fall on him. Whereas the sinner regards his sin as if a fly lands on his nose and he wipes it away

:wasalamex

 

[al.Ghurabaa']

No Probs ukhty! It's my fault...I thought I'd filled the gender in, but I must have been dreaming...I'll go do it now inshAllah

JazakAllahukhairan for the hadith. It really is saddening to see this happen! May Allah forgive our sins, and shower His blessing and mercy on us...Ameen...

 

[Re.TiReD]

No Probs ukhty! It's my fault...I thought I'd filled the gender in, but I must have been dreaming...I'll go do it now inshAllah

JazakAllahukhairan for the hadith. It really is saddening to see this happen! May Allah forgive our sins, and shower His blessing and mercy on us...Ameen...

Thumma Ameen sis!

:wasalamex

 

[ayan333]

wow...the hadeeth was deep sister..SubhanALLAH we treat things so lightly when in reality its killer


anyway i came across this lecture and it reminded me about this board and this thread


its really good and beneficial

Must listen!!!!!

if you dont have time,atleast listen to a bit Insh ALLAH

http://islambase.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1084&Itemid=181


its called "free-mixing" buy sheik Feiz Muhammed


hope its beneficial

 

[ayan333]

SubhanALLAH im listening to the lecture and everything he is saying is so true!!!!!!!


actually he's refraining to some of us,including me,about giving advise and giving fatwas...how we might be might be unknowingly leading someone astray.SubhanALLAH its so true!!!!!

Sister JσℓιєFℓєυя made some of the same points

 

[Muslim Woman]

.... We should only worry about our own deeds.

..

it's a must for us to prevent others from wrong doing. Prophet Muhammed (p) said ( not the exact words ) If we can't stop them physically , then must do it orally , if can't do that either then must hate that & that's the weakest faith.

 

[Muslim Woman]

lol agreed... how else are we gonna have LI weddings! lolllllllllllll!

btw , I am not against marriage / matmonial sites. I gave ad there for my relative & MashaAllah she got married & happy now

anyone feels shy to give ad for him/herself may send ur biodata & InshaAllah I will post that :statisfie

 

[DaNgErOuS MiNdS]

:salamext:

SubhanAllah! I aint rubbing anything at all in akhee.

You know what, I'll just leave you with a hadeeth that comes to mind when people say what you just did, when people say that we make it seem as though the sin was actually far worse than it is.

You do things which in your eyes are less significant than a hair, but at the time of the Messenger of Allah, we used to count them as things that could destroy a man. (Bukhaari)

:wasalamex

Maybe you've not understood me but I didnt say the sin is lighter then everyone thinks at all, but rather its the impression I was getting from this thread (generally, not pointing you out) that its alot of bros on this forum when its only a very small number, as bro woodrow also pointed out.

Nice hadith and thanx for the reminder again.

 

[DaNgErOuS MiNdS]

*Cough*brotherswherehaveyougone?*cough*