Rethinking Sex Education...Should parents teach this

[Sakina'141]

Sex is not the pinnacle of life, yes it is important inside of marriage. But we have the Hereafter ahead of us.

Putting too much importance is not good either, or am I wrong on this?

Allahu alam.

Exactly. There is no need to talk further.
I think everything that could possibly be discussed on this thread has probably already been said.
Its been interesting discussion and we all have things to learn in life and about our religion in general. Personal growth is ongoing continuous process...everyone is on their own journey with their Lord and religious insight and knowledge.

May Allah forgive us if we said anything wrong/unislamic/sinful, Ameen. Please forgive me if I have offended/hurt anyone with view points. It was never my intention. JazakAllah khair to everyone here! Peace & Take care my brothers and sisters!

 

[Umm♥Layth]

I disagree, everything that needs to be discussed HAS NOT been discussed. In all fairness, most participants here are youth and this thread appears to be aiming for parents. This is parenting problem that needs to be addressed, the thread isn't actually about sex. You young ones may be seeing it like that because your thinking is a bit linear at this stage of life, especially about a subject t hat is not of much interest due to you not being married or having kids, and that's fine. Just sit back and learn, no need to participate if you are done airing your opinion :statisfie

I have some responses to make here, but won't have time until tonight or tomorrow evening insha'Allah.

 

[noraina]

Just my two pennies...

I consider myself as having a close relationship with my mother alhamdulillah, and I asked her about these 'sensitive' questions quite a while back. She found it extremely funny and awkward, lol, but she explained it to me in an age-appropriate way and I appreciate that, rather than me taking is that information from friends or the internet. Kids make up strange fantasies.

In my community, and in many Muslim countries, there is something of a culture among parents underestimating just how aware children are from a very young age about a lot of thing. I knew a lot more than my mother thought I did when I was 10 and, despite being 18, my father probably assumes I don't know anything still.

There is nothing wrong with discussing this if it is done in a sensitive and age-appropriate manner, and maybe going into more detail when you're nearing the time of getting married. Of course there should be modesty in our speech, but all too often we immediately say 'astaghfirullah' and treat these subjects as a taboo when they're not.

You know, when I read some hadiths a couple of years ago I was *shocked* how straightforward the female Sahabah and the Sahabah in general were with their questions about 'intimacy' and all of that, it was never done indecently of course, but it was still bold for me and I thought this wasn't allowed in Islam.

A middle approach is important. We need to be careful of falling into either extreme of being too 'forward' about this topic and then the other extreme of not talking about it at all.

 

[Sakina'141]

I disagree, everything that needs to be discussed HAS NOT been discussed. In all fairness, most participants here are youth and this thread appears to be aiming for parents. This is parenting problem that needs to be addressed, the thread isn't actually about sex. You young ones may be seeing it like that because your thinking is a bit linear at this stage of life, especially about a subject t hat is not of much interest due to you not being married or having kids, and that's fine. Just sit back and learn, no need to participate if you are done airing your opinion :statisfie

I have some responses to make here, but won't have time until tonight or tomorrow evening insha'Allah.

Yup Im done airing my opinion...nothing more to say!
I'll leave it with you big sister! ...leave it in the hands of The Experienced.

Goodbye! & Peace out sis!
May be see you in another debate..but Im staying from it all for now!
:jz:

Just my two pennies...

I consider myself as having a close relationship with my mother alhamdulillah, and I asked her about these 'sensitive' questions quite a while back. She found it extremely funny and awkward, lol, but she explained it to me in an age-appropriate way and I appreciate that, rather than me taking is that information from friends or the internet. Kids make up strange fantasies.

In my community, and in many Muslim countries, there is something of a culture among parents underestimating just how aware children are from a very young age about a lot of thing. I knew a lot more than my mother thought I did when I was 10 and, despite being 18, my father probably assumes I don't know anything still.

There is nothing wrong with discussing this if it is done in a sensitive and age-appropriate manner, and maybe going into more detail when you're nearing the time of getting married. Of course there should be modesty in our speech, but all too often we immediately say 'astaghfirullah' and treat these subjects as a taboo when they're not.

You know, when I read some hadiths a couple of years ago I was *shocked* how straightforward the female Sahabah and the Sahabah in general were with their questions about 'intimacy' and all of that, it was never done indecently of course, but it was still bold for me and I thought this wasn't allowed in Islam.

A middle approach is important. We need to be careful of falling into either extreme of being too 'forward' about this topic and then the other extreme of not talking about it at all.

Agree, its about finding the middle path...not the two extremes but balance between the two.

Some people are too forward and some people are completely closed. No need to talk too much or completely dismiss the subject like its not important/taboo. It can't be an easy task for our parents...may Allah bless them and grant them jannatul firdos for all they have done for us, Ameen.



eace:

 

[muslim brother]

most of the problems of the ummah result from mainly a few things

lack of knowledge and understanding of islam indepth..it really is necessary
therefore bad parenting and low standards overall in the community

thus ignorance and frustration lead to what we see today

a community degraded by their own failures but experts in blaming others

 

[Serinity]

There certainly is a huge problem in our Muslim socities, otherwise there wouldn't be such huge numbers of pornography.. but this might also be forked numbers to make us Muslims look bad.

But if they are true, there must be some deep problems.

Allahu alam.

 

[trueteach]

There certainly is a huge problem in our Muslim socities, otherwise there wouldn't be such huge numbers of pornography.. but this might also be forked numbers to make us Muslims look bad.

But if they are true, there must be some deep problems.

Allahu alam.

As the saying goes

Plan for the worst, hope for the best.

Even if the stats are inflated for Muslims, we still have a duty as parents to prepare a new generation of Muslims growing up in a highly sexualised world.

 

[muslim brother]

the voldemort effect is our "favourite solution"


these cultural practices are accepted not inflated

just research "bacha bazi" in pakistan and afghanistan

and ask yourself ,why?

its time we stopped constantly playing victims and wonder why allah taalas help does not come

 

[Sakina'141]

As the saying goes

Plan for the worst, hope for the best.

Even if the stats are inflated for Muslims, we still have a duty as parents to prepare a new generation of Muslims growing up in a highly sexualised world.

I don't have the solutions to this major problem in our WORLD...highly sexualised material are available whether ur living in the West or whether ur living in Pakistan/Dubai.

But Alhamdulillah there are lectures like this avialable for youth and there should be more in every masjid in the globe as so relevant to muslim youth of today :

These talks should be going viral on the internet & phones rather than haram things. But obviously, that's not how the world works. I can only dream.

Basically, if we want to protect our children from all the filth exist outside and in privacy, we have to preach like Nouman Ali Khan or Mufti Menk in our households on daily basis (not on same topic obviously)...we have to address these issues & teachings in the best Islamic manner so it enters our childrens hearts. We have to have such good character that our children will respect and hold on to what we teach & advise.

Its a huge thing to achieve for those who are not formally learned in Islamic sciences but its not impossible. Nothing is impossible, we don't have to become a scholar...we just need to be open minded and learn from them, be around good & inspiring brothers/sisters who we can look up to and keep Islam alive in our households. Its not easy in our unislamic enviroment and surrounding but not impossible either...the more difficult the struggle/task, the higher the rewards, forgiveness and goodness if done with good&right intentions (pleasing Allah alone). May Allah swt accept out good deeds and make us sincere believers always, Ameen.

 

[Serinity]

If not under control (sexual desires) it can destroy your dignity and honour. Never ever entertain it. Suppress it and do something else.. it is usually when we don't do anything, that sexual desires get to us.

Crushes and infatuations are mere uncontrolled desires / hormones where the one who succumbs loses himself to his desires, while the one who succeeds, wins.

Either you enslave yourself to your desires, or you enslave yourself to Allah :swt:

Allahu alam.

 

[Sakina'141]

If not under control (sexual desires) it can destroy your dignity and honour. Never ever entertain it. Suppress it and do something else.. it is usually when we don't do anything, that sexual desires get to us.

Crushes and infatuations are mere uncontrolled desires / hormones where the one who succumbs loses himself to his desires, while the one who succeeds, wins.

Either you enslave yourself to your desires, or you enslave yourself to Allah :swt:

Allahu alam.

Very True but not every Muslim sees it like that though. We all have to build our character and relationship with our Creator. Some people need to acknowledge this fact first rather than become defensive...some muslims are very defensive about what they already know and not open to changing their perspective/thinking. They are settled in their ways.

 

[Serinity]

Idk about others but I feel disgusted whenever I have desires in me. I feel it is a duty to combat everything that is against Islam, be it one's own desires, because anything else will leave one empty.

They need to become more Allah-conscious - have taqwa. Not like Islam didn't give us a solution towards these desires - either marry, and if you can't - fast.

What helped me snap out of it, was, first of all, Allah :swt: guided me, and I started reflecting, I started feeling the emptiness of desires and the sweetness of Imaan.

I love Imaan and hate the emptiness of desires.

We need to stop treating our kids who are 13+ as kids, but as adults!

Allahu alam.

 

[fromelsewhere]

Idk about others but I feel disgusted whenever I have desires in me. I feel it is a duty to combat everything that is against Islam, be it one's own desires, because anything else will leave one empty.

We all have normal primitive drives within ourselves. We just need to learn to control these drives, such as when people abstain from eating, drinking, smoking and engaging in sexual activity during Ramadan.

 

[Serinity]

We all have normal primitive drives within ourselves. We just need to learn to control these drives, such as when people abstain from eating, drinking, smoking and engaging in sexual activity during Ramadan.

It is a matter of discipline. Leaving a haram thing for the sake of Allah :swt: and abstaining from eating in Ramadhan is a way of purifying one's heart and freeing one's heart and submitting to Allah :swt: .

Let your mind be enslaved to Allah :swt:. If the Heart becomes good, the limbs will follow.

 

[Sakina'141]

Lol this thread made me go and search for some really funny videos on youtube...this is sooo funny...

 

[Sakina'141]

This is also a really good illustrated reminder...

Love these illustrated reminders...really effective I think! There are so many talks and reminders on these subjects on youtube..