SAYING NO to marriage

[Trumble]

thanks for the good responces, if only people in real life were this supportivewhere i am from if choose not to marry they will think you are a horrible person or not a decent girl.
Well i am not a man hater but when i was younger many men tried it with me, i was 12,13 while they were 30+. I just dont feel comfortable and dont think i would ever be, i hope Allah swt understands, for me wanting to be alone.

If you'll accept it from a non-muslim, the very best luck to you. Some people want to get married, and are suited for marriage, and others are not. From your experiences it is easy to understand your own perspective, and its what you think you should do that counts not what others think you should do. As far as I am aware Islam does not require marriage. The hadeeth just quoted is clearly the product of a time when it simply wasn't safe for women to live and travel alone... no longer true today in most places. IMVHO there are far to many people who use the Qur'an and Hadeeth to justify what they think somebody should do, without interpreting in the light of what God's will might be regarding you. That's between you and God.

And who knows, you might just meet the one guy, one day, who will make you think differently.

 

[AnonymousPoster]

thanks for the good responces, if only people in real life were this supportivewhere i am from if choose not to marry they will think you are a horrible person or not a decent girl.

lol i dont think many people here where supportive of the idea of deciding not to marry for the sake of it. well.. not those who used quran n sunnah as evidence atleast.

not to say that it means ur horrible or not decent... it just means ur putting urself in harms way.

Well i am not a man hater but when i was younger many men tried it with me, i was 12,13 while they were 30+. I just dont feel comfortable and dont think i would ever be, i hope Allah swt understands, for me wanting to be alone.

easy. you've cried a river, now build a bridge.. and get over it. many men are mongrels, equally many aren't... so what's teh fuss?

 

[Mezier]

Well....your first post reminded me of myself about this time 2 years ago (im 19 right now btw). Live on my own, have no one to take care of, buy my own house and drive around in my own car and share it with no one, i'd say that the only noticeable difference between me and you at that time would be that im a male.

Guess what? I'm engaged to what i believe to be the most perfect girl ever. I always thought that ladies my age would be using and after some aspect of me, instead of actually caring for me but i was wrong. I found someone who genuinely cares for my well being and loves me.
And you know how fast it happened??? less than 2 months during the summer of 2005.

And if I had never met my fiancee, or had never asked for her hand in marriage....it would of been the biggest regret of my life with nothing else ever coming close to it!

I'm not saying this to change your mind or watever....im saying this because i was LIKE YOU, and my advice to you would be:
There is nothing wrong with no desire to get married as long as you keep away from sin, but I have a feeling you will one day change your mind just as i did. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next year, but i think we all get to the point of needing someone, especially once we see that there are better spouses out there.

Hope this helps!. inshallah

 

[limitless]

I am really annoyed at my friends and family we had a big discussion on marriage and i told them that i personally dont want to get married.
My mum had a heart attack, some dont even believe me. Whats the big deal?

i am looking to finish Uni get my own house and live happy ever after ON MY OWN.
Why is that so hard to understand? Before u all think i am crazy girl i been practising for years and i dont interact with men.

Had to let it all out i feel better now wasalam

Not to be un-religious or anything. I agree with her! Marriage has so many complications, issues, its just better off living alone and yes, it is not a must,a sunnah. Don't worry sis, your not the only one whose having this or going through this. Marriage is not what it seemed to be, it's more like a game now adays taken lightly, not seriously. Many girls lie these days, they cheat, same for men, they do the same thing! I know not everyone is like that, but if you think about it and see it (like me) most of them are.

 

[united]

just do your own thing sis.
when and if you are ready to get married you will, inshallah.
you are old enough to make your own decisions in life. yes there are reasons not to leave marriage till too late but its up to you. weigh up the pros and cons, make istikhra, and do what you have to.
each one of us is different and thats what makes life so interesting.
i wish you all the best and if Allah has written for you to get married, than i pray that He blesses you with the best of husbands and if He has not written you to get married than i also pray that you have the best of this world and that of the hereafter.

 

[Al-Hanbali]

Ameen

 

[Dhulqarnaeen]

I am really annoyed at my friends and family we had a big discussion on marriage and i told them that i personally dont want to get married.
My mum had a heart attack, some dont even believe me. Whats the big deal?

i am looking to finish Uni get my own house and live happy ever after ON MY OWN.
Why is that so hard to understand? Before u all think i am crazy girl i been practising for years and i dont interact with men.

Had to let it all out i feel better now wasalam

I read the sadness and depression of women who have the same thinking with you sis. Yes, maybe youre right, you can life by your own. And then one day, when you get weaker, and maybe your parents already passed away, and some of your family too. And then you just life in your house...alone. No body wanna take care of you. No husband who will take care of you when you feel down and sick, and no children who can make your heart happy and light. And in the end you will end up like a woman that I read in newspaper. She dead a lone in her small house.
And no one goarantee you will be rich in the future, if youre rich then you will die in a gold cage and pool of money, and if youre poor then you will die in a small house like a goat cage. Its just the same, you will die in the end. And die in denying sunnah, is the worse and we are worry someone who deny sunnah then their death not in husnul khatimah. Dont you try to deny or avoid sunnah. Cause sunnah is for our own good. Allah dont need help from you, dont need you to do this and that. Is all by your own choice. He just show us the way by His messenger, Rasulullah shalalahu alaihi wasallam, and then the rest is up to us. Rasulullah said "Everymuslim will enter heaven, except someone who feel reluctant", and he was asked "who are they who feel reluctant yaa Rasulullah?", and Rasulullah explained that everymuslim who disobey his sunnah then theyre dont wanna enter heaven.
May Allah make us die while practising sunnah, amin.