I was just talking with my brother about what [MENTION=46536]kingfisher1[/MENTION] just said and he agrees 100% with him. I am not married, my older brother is not married and my twin brother is not married. We are all in our 40's and single. Marriage is too complicated and too dangerous for a man if it fails. Marriage is ultra complicated and the interference of mother and father in-law and how society dictate how a father should raise his children and he cannot be a husband anymore, he have literally have to be submissive and obedient to his wife makes current marriage a dead institution. The current dajjal marriage is a failed marriage system. So the alternative now is Zina and sexual revolution. The system that feminist applied to non-Muslim world may become the reality to Muslim world. Expect as years pass by, homosexuality and lesbianism, child prostitution, prostitution, beastailty and zina will be the norm if not already the norm in Muslim world. It doesn't help, like my brother said, that traditional marriage is a failed marriage system. We no longer follow the prophet and his sahaba in how we get married. We need the person to be smart, book smart, have high education, having chink chank worth of dime in his pocket, power and fame and beauty is the hallmark. Having a falaah (a farmer) to want to get married to a non-farmer woman who is educated with high standard is unheard of. NO WAY! Yet, in sight of Allah there is nothing wrong and perhaps you don't know...Allah would have put great barakaah in such marriage. Allah does not look in IQ and education to determine your worth in afterlife. But we do here. What if a boy is born slow or not smart. He had no choice, Allah created his brain this way. You want that boy to feel resentment and hate Allah (Authobillah) or question Allah (Authobillah) why he created him like that. What sort of evil and dark energy you guys are going to produce this way. Even if he didn't or she didn't. They will believe in this new world that only poor marries poor and rich marries rich. High standard marries high standard. Low standard marries low standard. Alright. Let us separate society more into even more sectors. Let the white marry only white and black marry only black. Asian marry only Asian. Let us even go further. Only Arabs who are black marry Arabs who are black and only Arabs who are brown marry only Arabs who are brown. Ok, let us go even further. Only blue eye people marry blue eye people. No, I want red haired people only to marry red haired people. Alright, let us go even further. Only tall people who are only Arabs who are only white and who only have blue eyes and only have red hairs who have fine hairs and only have soft voice and only smooth skin marry that same type of people. Want me to go on? And even if you did that, is that Islam? No, that seems Jewish to me more than Islam. So you call yourself practicing Muslim when you practice everything against Islam? Who are you lying too?
Well, as funny as the above sentence is...THIS IS EXACTLY HOW COMPLICATED MARRIAGE have reached. So...I am guessing that in the future if this keeps going on this is what will happen to Muslim society worldwide:
A) Marriage and practicing marriage is extinct.
B) It seems majority of people find women getting married requiring the consent of Walli is oppressive to her. When marriage become extinct, so is walli become extinct. Women can pick and choose whoever she wishes. What end up happening is domestic violence, rape, child out of wedlock and women failing in relationship will become the hallmark. She will become the non-stop attack on men, saying men are immature, they cannot handle responsibilities, where are all the good men, articles and blogs and TV shows bashing men will become the norm. We are moving toward the same society that we have in America. Which in the end, it will become rare for any women to get married. Single mothers will become the norm.
C) When single mothers become norm, lineage is destroyed. When lineage is destroyed so is spreading Islam is destroyed with it. New generation of children will not take Islam seriously, half wouldn't even know how to pray correctly, other half wouldn't know how to recite Qura'an correctly and the other half wouldn't even know the meaning of shahada.
D) Newer generation will just become worse than others and Jahhillya will return full force in Muslim society.
E) Violence, suicide rate, guns and shootings and drug usage, dancing women, songs and sexual revolution in Muslim world WILL become the norm.
May I ask, how far the above is from the current reality we are now? Just curious. Well, that being said this is the direction we are going when marriage and it's current stage become impossible to achieve. You can try to change the nature of human male as much as you want, it will not work. Had it worked, Allah (Subhanu Wa Talaa) would have enforced that a man is ONLY allowed to marry one wife. Allah (Subhanu Wa Talaa) would have not pushed for marriage, as he did. In fact, if the nature of man is equal to a woman, inheritance of a man and woman would be the same. NO WAY would Allah (Subhanu Wa Talaa) put the shoulder of maintenance and protection on a man at all. in fact, Allah (Subhanu Wa Talaa) would have given men the same sexual private part as women so that men enjoy the pleasure of birth and not feel resentful that women can have it when he have the same brain as her and same hormone. That would be oppressive to men if he couldn't conceive like women and Allah (Subhanu Wa Talaa) swore on himself that he will not oppress any of his creations. IN fact, if men and women are the same...homosexuality is the norm not heterosexuality's. All prophets would have been female. Wouldn't you all agree? But all that didn't happen. Men are created different than women. It is seems we cannot understand this, but I will repeat it again. Men and women are different. They have different hormones. Different chromosomes. Different desires. Different needs. Different brain patterns. Women have two sides light up, a man have one side light up. Women excel in education better than men do. Men are stronger than women. Women have higher voice pitch than men do. I mean...are these not so duh obvious that I have to teach you guys something that is....uuuh....duuh? So why I am here? I am here, because when we complicate marriage so much so...we are oppressing both sexes and we are trying to make it hard for a man to fulfill his desires in halaal way. When you do that, HE WILL SEEK TO FULFILL HIS DESIRES NO MATTER WHAT. To him....sex is like consuming food. He needs it. He will masturbate. He will watch pornography to fulfill it. In the end he fulfilled his desires. Or, he may see haraam relationship (Zina), girlfriend...and he will have sexual conquest that way. The girl gets pregnant and the above scenario is open for you. Now multiply that disaster by millons and thousands and society collapsed. Is that what Muslim community wants. Wil you can have what you sowed for. Just don't weep when hellfire is in front of you, ok?
That being said, for the OP. Brother before you go ahead and seek out marriage look for brother Imraan's post when his marriage went into disaster. You will find his post here easily, read everything from page 1 to last page. Don't miss any of the details. There are great resources of essential advices about how to seek for a partner and what happens if you picked out the wrong one. Take all the advices in that post to heart and apply them. After you read Imraan's post and his failed marriage from page to 1 to last and got all the advices you need then continue on with paragraph two of this reply.
