Shaking Hands!

[Paprika]

My cousin studied in another city. He joint a campus Muslim organization where he meet a hijabi sister. They attracted to each other. So, they told the sister wali, told their murabbi ("guide Islamic teacher"), and got married although they were still studied in university. Later, when his wife got pregnant, he back to his city and told his parents that he had been married. ;D

That's happened in middle of 90's. Now they have two daughters, and he become area manager in a big company.

Attraction isn't love, but anyway I am happy for them, I really am.

 

[Asiyah3]

If you wanna go work, just go and do it don't justify it by whatever means possible, that is my message, thats all.

Brother seriously. You make it sound like I'd be doing something haraam. I have never heard any reputed scholar say women working is haraam, are you BETTER THAN THEM TO MAKE FATWAH?? Have you studied Islam more to make up your own rules?! I have heard scholars encourage women to stay home and take care of their children. I have also heard scholars talk against women working in certain jobs, like modelling. That is true. But that is completely different to what you are saying. There is nothing to justify, as there is absolutely nothing wrong if she wants to work, as long as her job is halal.

If you want, you may speak against mixed environments, male and female workers staying alone etc. and I will understand you better. But you can't say that working itself, such as me fixing a child's tooth is haram!

A wife of a sahabi used to go out helping her husband, women were helping at the times of war, Khadeejah was a business woman (she was working!), a woman used to clean the mosque at the time of the Prophet (SAAS)...

Muslims today have an inferiority complex, chasing after the kufaar and trying to equal them in their worldly pursuits. We often hear kids saying they wanna be like this soccer player or that kaffir sports star,

Let's not bring other topics into this.

women who want to become doctors, lawyers, engineers, brothers want to become millionaires, have multiple businesses etc. but how often do you hear a muslim person wants to become pious like the Sahaba RA????

What's wrong with wanting to become a doctor, lawyer or engineer as long as the job doesn't entail haram things? Men can become doctors, but not women?

We often just give it lip service thats as far as we will go. We are very easily content with our spirituality but never content with our materiality. What annoys me most is that we belittle the sunnah and totally disregard that which Rasool Sallalahu Allaihi Wassalam has said is better for us. Like it is better for women to stay at home, but who needs what's better????

It is BETTER, and you may encourage that, but it's a different matter when you talk of it as something HARAM?

I am equally guilty and I don't think I am better than anyone else, but for the most part I just wish we could accept it and not try to justify it and accept it as our own weakness. If I am a woman and I go to work then I should accept that I have given up what is better for me due to my own human weakness and understanding and not look for every fatwa in the book to make myself feel better than no I am not wrong even though I am doing that which is contrary to the hadith of Rasool Sallalahu Allaihi Wassalam.

Is that woman disobeying Allah (swt) or the Prophet (SAAS)? No. But is it better for her to stay home? Yes.

It is better for a brother to get married when he is young. But is he disobeying Allah (swt) or the Prophet (SAAS) if there is no fear in him falling into zina, and he delays it without a need (and that is contrary to the hadith of the Prophet SAAS)?

What I'm trying to point here is that a recommendation(such as women staying home, or men marrying early) and a prohibition are two different things.

May Allah Swt guide us. Ameen.

Ameen.

 

[ardianto]

Sometime I helped old women to cross the street or up/down the stair. And I always gave my hand, so they could hold my hand if they need. When a young woman got motorcycle accident I hugged her to help her up.

I know which permissible, which impermissible.

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Sometime I helped old women to cross the street or up/down the stair. And I always gave my hand, so they could hold my hand if they need. When a young woman got motorcycle accident I hugged her to help her up.

I know which permissible, which impermissible.

In times of calamities rules do change

 

[ardianto]

In times of calamities rules do change

In the case of emergency, haram can be halal.

But unfortunately, there are Muslims who easy to declare a situation as "case of emergency".

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

^ lol also too true, we must be careful not to do anything apart from when forced by situation

 

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

So you are telling me you can go to uni, see a woman in full niqaab and just fall in love??? with what?? how?? bring your proof.....

Yup. That's exactly what I'm telling you.

I don't think you get the concept of emotions vs rationale. You can't prove emotions, they're not rational. It's not hard to fall in love. That's why the Prophet (saw) said in the authentic hadeeth that the best thing for two people who love each other is marriage. Do you understand? If he's telling two lovers to get married, than means he's not forbidding love before marriage because he (saw) knows that it's not something you can control.

Now, I'm still waiting for you to prove to me that the Book and the Sunnah have prohibited falling in love before marriage

 

[Paprika]

Brother seriously. You make it sound like I'd be doing something haraam. I have never heard any reputed scholar say women working is haraam, are you BETTER THAN THEM TO MAKE FATWAH?? Have you studied Islam more to make up your own rules?! I have heard scholars encourage women to stay home and take care of their children. I have also heard scholars talk against women working in certain jobs, like modelling. That is true. But that is completely different to what you are saying. There is nothing to justify, as there is absolutely nothing wrong if she wants to work, as long as her job is halal.

If you want, you may speak against mixed environments, male and female workers staying alone etc. and I will understand you better. But you can't say that working itself, such as me fixing a child's tooth is haram!

A wife of a sahabi used to go out helping her husband, women were helping at the times of war, Khadeejah was a business woman (she was working!), a woman used to clean the mosque at the time of the Prophet (SAAS)...


Let's not bring other topics into this.


What's wrong with wanting to become a doctor, lawyer or engineer as long as the job doesn't entail haram things? Men can become doctors, but not women?


It is BETTER, and you may encourage that, but it's a different matter when you talk of it as something HARAM?


Is that woman disobeying Allah (swt) or the Prophet (SAAS)? No. But is it better for her to stay home? Yes.

It is better for a brother to get married when he is young. But is he disobeying Allah (swt) or the Prophet (SAAS) if there is no fear in him falling into zina, and he delays it without a need (and that is contrary to the hadith of the Prophet SAAS)?

What I'm trying to point here is that a recommendation(such as women staying home, or men marrying early) and a prohibition are two different things.


Ameen.

1400 years of Islam and only in the last 20 - 30 yrs have muslim women ventured in the workplace. Are you telling me in the 1400 yrs since the beginning of Islam people were stupid or didn't understand Islam?? Hayaa and morality was much stronger back then than it is today, so if any woman wanted to work it would have been better back then, but they chose not to, why??

It was obvious, they new the seriousness of the issue and decided to remain at home because a woman is closer to Allah in her own home and not even in the haramain. (Heard in a lecture by Sheikh Sulaiman Moola). So why would she still choose to work if there is no need??

Anyway I think I am done here. Every person shall face the consequences of their own actions in this world and the next. I wish career women well I just hope they don't end up old, grey and bent in some old age home crying to Allah Swt asking where they went wrong. As far as I can help it no woman in my family will venture into the kafir working world, Insha Allah.

 

[Paprika]

Yup. That's exactly what I'm telling you.

I don't think you get the concept of emotions vs rationale. You can't prove emotions, they're not rational. It's not hard to fall in love. That's why the Prophet (saw) said in the authentic hadeeth that the best thing for two people who love each other is marriage. Do you understand? If he's telling two lovers to get married, than means he's not forbidding love before marriage because he (saw) knows that it's not something you can control.

Now, I'm still waiting for you to prove to me that the Book and the Sunnah have prohibited falling in love before marriage

Nauzibillah, if that is what you think of the Nabi of Allah :saws1: then I do not wish to engage in any further discussion with you. I do not wish to harbour ill feelings towards another muslim. May Allah Swt guide us. Ameen.

 

[Paprika]

Yup. That's exactly what I'm telling you.

I don't think you get the concept of emotions vs rationale. You can't prove emotions, they're not rational. It's not hard to fall in love. That's why the Prophet (saw) said in the authentic hadeeth that the best thing for two people who love each other is marriage. Do you understand? If he's telling two lovers to get married, than means he's not forbidding love before marriage because he (saw) knows that it's not something you can control.

Now, I'm still waiting for you to prove to me that the Book and the Sunnah have prohibited falling in love before marriage

In today’s world, a lot of young people are afflicted by a serious illness that is even more deadly than any virus or bacteria. It is an illness that affects the heart and will cause its death, if not treated. This illness is none other than love before marriage, and it is with great sadness that a lot of youth fail to realize that in reality there is no such thing as “true” love before marriage, yes, there might be crushes, infatuations and the likes, but true love? No.

Some people might argue and say, how can you make such a bold statement? To that I reply, love is what creates happiness not sorrow, love is what gives you a peace of mind not worry and anguish but most importantly, love is that which brings you closer to Allaah the Most High, not that which will push you further away from Him and acquire His wrath. Yet there are a few brothers and sisters, who truly love Allaah, only to find their hearts crippled by this disease, they have apparently fallen in “love” with the opposite gender (before marriage) and can’t seem to stop thinking about them, they lose their appetite, their sleep and become neglectful of life as a whole.These individuals sometimes regret falling in love and want a way out, they want a cure for this illness, but is there really a cure?

Listen to what Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim has to say:

“And the cure for this deadly illness (i.e. love before marriage) is for the person that is afflicted to realize that this love is only due to his/her own delusions and ignorance.

So upon such a person is to first and foremost strengthen their Tawheed and reliance upon Allaah, and secondly to increase in worship and busy themselves with it, so much so that they do not have any spare time letting their minds wander and think about their beloved.

And they should call upon Allaah to protect them and save them from this evil, just as Prophet Yusuf called upon Allaah and he was saved. And they should do as he did, be as he was, in terms of ikhlaas (sincerity) and remembering Allaah in abundance.

This is because if the heart is filled with ikhlaas for the sake of Allaah, there will be no space left for any unlawful love to be present, rather this only happens to a heart that is empty and has no ikhlaas whatsoever.

And let such people remind themselves that whatever Allaah has decreed for them is only in their own best interests, and when Allaah commands something it is never to cause harm or misery to His slaves.

And let them also remind themselves that their unlawful love does not benefit them, neither in this world or the hereafter! As for this world then they will be so preoccupied with their love that it will cripple them and will cause them to live in a fantasy world. And as for the hereafter then it will cause them to be preoccupied with the love of the creation instead of love for the Creator!

These people need to be reminded, that the one who is emerged in something will never see its ill effects, neither will the person who has never experienced such things. The only people who will be able to relate to them are those who have experienced the same thing but have been saved. Such people can look back and realize how evil it is.”

[ad-Daa' wa ad-Dawaa p. 300]

(Via. Bro. Aboo Thabbit, Student at Madeenah Islamic University)

 

[Asiyah3]

Anyway I think I am done here.

Same.

:wa:

 

[White Rose]

Please, every one is entitled to their opinion. If someone doesn't agree with your opinion, then the best thing to is to not answer them. Also, some brothers on here express too much of their opinions so no wonder, sisters get involved. What I don't like is why do some men think they can play the God? You can tell what is good for a woman, but you cannot force her to follow your opinion. Let Allah SWT do that, don't take His place and start telling women what they should or should not do.

 

[~Zaria~]

12	:	23	:	18
Day		Hr		Min

........before Ramadaan.


And we are now in the blessed month of Shabaan......



ن كان يؤمن بالله واليوم الآخر فليقل خيرا أو ليصمت

“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day let him speak good or remain silent.” [Bukhari and Muslim]


:wa:

 

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

Nauzibillah, if that is what you think of the Nabi of Allah :saws1: then I do not wish to engage in any further discussion with you. I do not wish to harbour ill feelings towards another muslim. May Allah Swt guide us. Ameen.

Lol - let's not be emotional here bro. There are other ahadeeth where the Prophet (saw) spoke about love - look into the story of Mugheeth and Bareerah. That is what the scholars extracted from the hadeeth and wrote books on love themselves.

As for your second post, I don't reply to copy and paste jobs. It's a good read but still doesn't negate the fact that people can fall in love before marriage.

 

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

Sorry didn't realize this thread was closed.