Should one have a license to be a parent?

[Asiyah3]

In what way would an educational course help though? I think the OP had in mind the case where people are abusing their kids in the worst possible form due to being incapable. For example, say there's a couple that live in an atmosphere of drink, drugs and clubbing and constant arguing along with low income. Let's also make the man short tempered. Are these people suitable for parenthood in their present state? Obviously not and it is these kinds of parents that would be prevented due to failing to meet set criteria, if there were to be this hypothetical license test.

Do you really think an education in parenting would help these guys? They have far bigger problems to work out and I don't think 45 minute a week self help lessons would do much good for them.

Not that I'm supporting the license, I'm just saying, education alone really isn't that strong a tool to prevent parents from doing something unjust/stupid.

Just take the recent case with the woman murdering her babies. Said classes would not have helped one bit (it's not like they would have taught her something basic like 'killing is wrong' :hmm: ). I suppose a license would not have been any better in this regard either.

Those cases are utterly disgusting and sick, but also quite rare. Practically, I'm not sure if such cases can be prevented in any ways, unless we change the world entirely as I doubt these people would even ask for help.

People in general need more knowledge about kids. If I hadn't taken the developmental psychology course in my school, I believe my thinking would be very different. Praise be to Allah I learned a lot about kids, their brain development, their understanding, their world and how different kinds of upbringings would affect a child.

Would the knowledge on these help parents? In my opinion it'd help those who are willing to understand children and raise them right. All people aren't like that.

Some parents still in this time abuse their children and punish them when they do wrong instead of communication. Nonetheless, parents that neglect their children aren't any better in the least. Don't you think these parents need classes?

 

[Darth Ultor]

If not a license, then there should be required parenting classes in high school.

 

[Danah]

..................there should be required parenting classes in high school.

Exactly! this is what we need nowadays. They already teach them about some topics related to marriage then why not include parenting lessons too as an important part of marriage life ?

 

[Karl]

Relax man. It's only a hypothetical discussion. No true muslim can support it anyway.

Glad to hear it, I don't know how these radical ideas can even be discussed. A license to have children? Sounds Satanic to me. Maybe the evil force of Sauron has taken over Boaz?

 

[Karl]

If not a license, then there should be required parenting classes in high school.

More radical control freak ideas....you waste your time dark sorcerer your evil eye has no effect on me, only the weak minded amongst us. True Muslims cannot be grinded down by your petty evil powers, Allah is our shield.

 

[Asiyah3]

More radical control freak ideas....you waste your time dark sorcerer your evil eye has no effect on me, only the weak minded amongst us. True Muslims cannot be grinded down by your petty evil powers, Allah is our shield.

What's wrong with parenting classes?

 

[Karl]

What's wrong with parenting classes?

Look, I have no problem with "parenting classes" just as long as it is NOT made COMPULSORY. Voluntary parenting classes I have no problem with, but when it's COERCED that makes it a completely different matter! Furthermore parenting classes in high school is way too late anyway to get to know about such matters. It would be more logical to have it at primary school level. Also I don't believe in state education; all education should be privatized and paid by the parents, not the tax payer. Some parents might not even want their offspring to be formally educated and may have other plans for them instead.

 

[Darth Ultor]

More radical control freak ideas....you waste your time dark sorcerer your evil eye has no effect on me, only the weak minded amongst us. True Muslims cannot be grinded down by your petty evil powers, Allah is our shield.

So be it. If you will not be turned, then you will be destroyed. *shoots lightning* HAHAHAHAHA! Only now do you truly realize the power of the dark side! *shoots more lightning*. Now, young Skywalker, you will die.

All joking aside, I don't see it as evil. Just a complete loss of faith in humanity as a whole.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

Yeah that's very true....because many of today's parent are no better than the kids they are trying to raise!

the question is, if we need classes to be parents, are we ready to be parents??? the fact that we need classes, (to me personally) tell me that is something fundamentally wrong that needs addressing first (unless of course you are talking about teenage/unexpected pregnancies, etc but then again that's due to the lack of Islamic guidelines being upheld, i would think so anyway).

its like trying to get married young people off and insist that there parents help out with the bills, etc. if your parents are helping you with your marital life and all then are you really ready to get married? its makes no sense.

call me old fashioned but our parents didn't need these sort of classes and they were pretty brilliant. i think its a matter of priority and commitment. i think once you have at-least those two are present, then the raising the rest should follow. i guess one could use parenting classes if they are away from their families, their own parents dies early, etc and similar things were it helps to nurture the idea of how to raise and look after children.

 

[Danah]

the question is, if we need classes to be parents, are we ready to be parents??? the fact that we need classes, (to me personally) tell me that is something fundamentally wrong that needs addressing first (unless of course you are talking about teenage/unexpected pregnancies, etc but then again that's due to the lack of Islamic guidelines being upheld, i would think so anyway).

Many people get married without having an idea what is marriage life is all about in the first place. They think that its very simply to be with a spouse under the same rough...having no sense of responsibility or any commitment to the family. How can we expect such people to raise good kids?

its like trying to get married young people off and insist that there parents help out with the bills, etc. if your parents are helping you with your marital life and all then are you really ready to get married? its makes no sense.

No that not what I meant, I meant at least let them know what is it to have kids in the first place, more like giving them a general idea about the whole thing instead of being shocked later.

call me old fashioned but our parents didn't need these sort of classes and they were pretty brilliant. i think its a matter of priority and commitment. i think once you have at-least those two are present, then the raising the rest should follow. i guess one could use parenting classes if they are away from their families, their own parents dies early, etc and similar things were it helps to nurture the idea of how to raise and look after children.

[/QUOTE]

Oh no! our parents are totally different story, their generation was so different than ours. Above all, life was not complicated as it is now. You can't guarantee that your kids won't be influenced by the outside corrupted world even when they are on the way from home to school. Raising kids these days is harder than old days. 20 or 30 years ago they didn't hear about kids taking drugs, Internet pornography, and those groups that aim to gather teenagers and make them adopt some weird thoughts....and such. In today's world, raising kids become another concept, its not only feed them, take them to school, and buy them clothes.

 

[aamirsaab]

I understand the OP's view perfectly; there are unfortunately many parents that do not now how to raise their children. It's even worse in cases with abusive parents (which goes as far as sexual abuse) or neglective ones (like those who literally abandon their kids...).

I wish it was as simple as having a license to parent (that would help a lot!), but a license is not the solution. People in general have to realise that parenthood shouldn't be taken lightly. You can't do it whimsically.

 

[GuestFellow]

After hearing of several incidents of neglect, murder, and abuse that occur within families on the news, I begin to ask myself, is everyone qualified to be a parent?

Hi,

No, not everyone is qualified to be a parent. This is where social services come in.

I personally think that prospective parents should go through certain testings before they decide to have a baby.

I can see many problems with this.

Firstly, everyone has a different idea how to raise children. Will these tests be able to reflect the diverse methods of raising children? For example, secular parents will take a different approach to raise children than religious parents.

Secondly, what does the test involve? Are they fit purpose? Will these tests be able to distinguish between ''good'' and ''bad'' parents? How would you define good and bad?

Thirdly, how much will these tests actually cost?

Fourthly, is it possible to make every potential parent to take these tests?

Lastly, how will you prevent a couples from having a child when they have taken the test and failed?

This system to me appears to be very impractical and very difficult to implement. A license? Yay for bureaucracy!

You have good intentions but your idea needs much more work.

 

[Yanal]

I agree that many parents are neglecting,abusing,both physically and mentally in all types of various ways but is a license neccesary? Hmm,I don't know,will the government go into each house and check if they are having kids without a license?

 

[CosmicPathos]

I understand the OP's view perfectly; there are unfortunately many parents that do not now how to raise their children. It's even worse in cases with abusive parents (which goes as far as sexual abuse) or neglective ones (like those who literally abandon their kids...).

Was Umar al Khattab's dad abusive when he used to beat his son to shepherd sheep with a stick? I say if such caning can produce children like Umar (ra), so be it! I am caning my kids, inshAllah!

What load of bollocks on regulating parenting. One should also then get a license for having sex with one's spouse, cuz surely some spouses dont know how to please the partner in the bed!

 

[BadOlPuttyTat]

YES!YES! AND AGAIN YES!
Parents should obtain a license by government for having or keeping kids, wether
it be their own or not. Mother's should also have a license for giving birth!Parents in the US let their kids walk to school alone and everyday in my area a kid gets kidnapped or raped by some pervert. Parents are just wondering how can this happen. WALK YOUR KID OR DRIVE THEM OR SEND THEM ON A BUS YOU CRAZY FARTS! Parents in the US are utterly laughable, teachers were surprised my mother drove me to school.:raging: I believe some parents should be brought in public and beaten for some of the abuse and stupidity they do when handling their kids. Letting kids pet lions at a zoo, letting a 6 year old walk 2 miles to school, and above all else letting a kid ride his bike at 4AM in the morning while your asleep, and the child is 6! My mother was in foster care for the government county and the reports i hear of are laughable. These parents are not on drugs or drunk they just dont know a child shouldn't be outside riding his bike at 4 AM in the dark WHEN HE IS 6 YEARS OLD!

Sorry if i seem mad people but this is a topic that makes my bones turn red and become angry. The inner Muslim or even when i was a Christian tells me "don''t take sticks and beat abusive parents half way to death". But if you around this kids and parents like i have been then trust me, no matter how hard you try to be understanding or nice. YOU WILL want to take a baseball bat and beat some of these parents! I am a nice person but when it comes to awful parents who have the moral fiber of a pack of jackals i cannot stand it. I have known over 30 of these kids under awful parents and its utterly frustrating!

I apologize for my rant.

 

[CosmicPathos]

^^ such is life. Just accept it. Who the heck is government to determine who can parent and who cannot? Dont play God or Nature. Let the ones with superior genes survive the great test of time.

My dad drove me to school as a child. A kind gesture on his part, but I wish I had been let to walk to school. I'd be more self-dependent.

Things are not always right the way you see them.