talking to girl

[qassy!]

I can understand why you prefer to ask some questions on a forum. But, remember, a forum is best used to supplement what you already know and not as a source to solve problems.

Use what you learn on forums with caution and seek as much validation as possible from knowledgeable people you personally know. It is difficult for you to know if those reply on a forum actually understand fully what you ask.

Imams are human, you need never tell or expose anything you know is best to be kept to yourself.

Here since we need to speak in generalities rather that specific events, it is best you seek out all sources available for the answers of your questions and always rember, it is your duty to learn and seek answers to all questions. Many of your questions will be answered by learning as much as possible from the Qur'an. It is also advisable to begin reading hadith, however I would suggest you have a scholar to assist you when reading hadith and do not try to interpret without have some knowledge of hadith science.

Here the only general answer we can give is that it is haram to engage in unnecessary conversation with a member of the opposite gender.

jazaa kalah

What do you mean by scholar?

 

[Woodrow]

Jazaa Kalah im finally getting answers!!!! jaza kalah serious

Ok

How about this, (sorry if i am anoying)

group of freinds sit down for studying purposes? (mixture of boys and girls) - i think its haram yes?


I understand now jazaa kalah

Also can you please exmplain what Mahram is

jaza kalah

A mahram is a person that there would normally never be any possibility or desire to marry. For example:Grand Father, Father, Brother, Son

 

[Umm Hurairah]

Jazaa Kalah im finally getting answers!!!! jaza kalah serious

Ok

How about this, (sorry if i am anoying)

group of freinds sit down for studying purposes? (mixture of boys and girls) - i think its haram yes?


I understand now jazaa kalah

Also can you please exmplain what Mahram is

jaza kalah

Asalaamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatu,

Waiyaka.

I don't know exactly, cuz I'm not a Mufti but like I think it would be allowed if you REALLY need to be in this meeting.

But you can't look the opposite gender in the eye, you can't talk with females unless you're asking a question, NEVER agree to meet privately even if it's for studying purposes, and leave as soon as you have your answers.

You should ask a Mufti/scholar Insha Allah.

You can ask here Insha Allah: www.shariahboard.org www.muftisays.org, or www.askimam.org.

A Mahram is someone you can't get married to like your brother/son/grandfather/father etc.

 

[qassy!]

Jazaa Kalah

hrm........i have alot of changing to do

jazaa kalah really helpful

 

[Woodrow]

Jazaa Kalah sis

are you being serious ?+o(

I wish people dont tell me that stuff really makes me sick


yes I get the idea, when on the phone etc etc but that doesnt class texts, sorry it might sound like im looking for an exuse but im not this question bothers me :raging:

Jazaa Kalah

texting a girl is identical to writing her a letter, only faster. Caution must be taken that it is genuine need and there is no other method available.



Text the same message to her Brother, Father and grandfather.


If you get a funny feeling in your stomach at the thought of that, you may want to avoid texting the girl.

 

[Nabooly]

Id go ahead and say speak to them, but only casual conversations. Nothing too personal. I think you yourself can define what is too personal

 

[qassy!]

Text the same message to her Brother, Father and grandfather.


If you get a funny feeling in your stomach at the thought of that, you may want to avoid texting the girl.

lol? why would i get a funny fealing?

 

[Nabooly]

lol? why would i get a funny fealing?

Lol i have that same question. Unless you never talk to girls and always think bad thoughts when talking/texting one, id say go ahead and text them.

 

[Woodrow]

lol? why would i get a funny fealing?

If you are texting something inappropriate, you would not want either of them to see it, so that is why I say if it gives you a funny feeling, it is probably best not to text it to the girl either.

 

[qassy!]

If you are texting something inappropriate, you would not want either of them to see it, so that is why I say if it gives you a funny feeling, it is probably best not to text it to the girl either.

Honsitly I dont care what there bother/dad thinks they should keep there girls under control which there not. And im not scared of them


Anyway I understand now
Jazaa Kalah

 

[جوري]

I think you have missed the pt.that Br.woodrow was making-- which has nothing to do with 'control/decorum' more to do with don't write anything outside of the confines of what you'd write to the father of the brother of this individual you are texting.. as an example.. this is a simulation of would be text or IM and not intended for use and may not reflect the opinion of the LI family

Qassy: sister khadija, did you finish the assignment we had for calculus n-m+1)x(n-m+2)x...xn
Khadija: You know, I am having a bit of a difficulty and might consult my uncle, will get back to you and we'll compare notes insha'Allah

you: Jazaki Allah khyran
khadija: wr wb

see you could possible have this same convo with her dad or smart uncle, as opposed to

you: khadijah, you have been running through my mind, love your full lips and your dark eyes, and how you bat your eyelash when I look at you, I wish I could trace your brows ...
khadija: why qassy, I didn't know you felt that way *blushes* tell me more, so the devil will play it back in my ears while I brush my teeth tonight...

you get my drift?

I don't think her father or your father can control either of you.. this is about self-control... it is easy to take that nice rosy voluptuous road and rather difficult to refrain.. hence the path to hell is paved with delicious things while the one in heaven is difficult..
the choice however, is yours..

May we all remain on the path of the righteous insha'Allah

 

[qassy!]

Yes sister I understand sorry I ask alot of questions imesn not talkin to girls is Verny hard for me because there so invloved in my life the namazis I done talk to at college just say Salam that's it because thyy respect them selves
I'm dealing with it slowlly
Jazsa kalah

 

[Isambard]

Interesting thread. Just also wanted to mention I met my current gf on a discussion board much like this one...lol

 

[aminahjaan]

well, it'll happen gradually, not overnight you know? Because lets say hypothetically that my teeth are yellow, I wanna get them white, I have to keep brushing to get them white. Same concept, so in this case, keep brushing and they'll be pretty

 

[qassy!]

well, it'll happen gradually, not overnight you know? Because lets say hypothetically that my teeth are yellow, I wanna get them white, I have to keep brushing to get them white. Same concept, so in this case, keep brushing and they'll be pretty

Salam

I know but it will be berry hard to stop talking I wish people understood

 

[Woodrow]

Salam

I know but it will be berry hard to stop talking I wish people understood

It is not necessary all about stopping the talking and texting, it is more about learning proper respect for the opposite gender.

It is about learning to appreciate members of the opposite gender with no needs or desires and to understand the value of limits.

It is difficult at a young age and seems almost impossible. Yet, to understand the value of mutual respect and to keep in full control of limits is one of the greatest gifts you can share with a person.

 

[qassy!]

It is not necessary all about stopping the talking and texting, it is more about learning proper respect for the opposite gender.

It is about learning to appreciate members of the opposite gender with no needs or desires and to understand the value of limits.

It is difficult at a young age and seems almost impossible. Yet, to understand the value of mutual respect and to keep in full control of limits is one of the greatest gifts you can share with a person.

Yes I think i understand what your saying but when the girls have no respect for there body (and if u know what I mean you will know Muslim
girl are the worst


I am trying n inshallah I will be good inshallah the distractions will go away


Yeah so if they have no respect for there body it make things hard I mean today someone called me and I tried to be normal but it does not work out

 

[Woodrow]

Yes I think i understand what your saying but when the girls have no respect for there body (and if u know what I mean you will know Muslim
girl are the worst


I am trying n inshallah I will be good inshallah the distractions will go away


Yeah so if they have no respect for there body it make things hard I mean today someone called me and I tried to be normal but it does not work out

It makes no sense to be involved with a girl you would not marry and if you love and want to marry a girl it makes no sense to participate in any sinful activity with her.

Like most harmful things it is very addictive and very difficult to change your habits about. Habits are the result of immaturity. The only help is maturity and maturity comes through following Allaah(swt)

 

[qassy!]

It makes no sense to be involved with a girl you would not marry and if you love and want to marry a girl it makes no sense to participate in any sinful activity with her.

Like most harmful things it is very addictive and very difficult to change your habits about. Habits are the result of immaturity. The only help is maturity and maturity comes through following Allaah(swt)

Yes brother I understand but i live in London, i got to college in London, and its just a different atmosphere to other places in the United Kingdom, i mean girls want b/f, they talk 2 u even if u dont want them 2, girls here have more male freinds then female etc etc i know its wrong and im stopping and it will be finished ishallah

 

[Woodrow]

I won't claim to have much knowledge about the universities in London, as I never attended one there. How ever, I attended several Universities around the world and I found that there are girls like that in all of them. the truth is it takes two people. You can not have girls like that without there being boys like that. It takes both in order for either to be.

Early habits are very difficult to get rid of. During our younger years we make the mistake of thinking that pleasure is happiness. Ambrose Briece once wrote:
"A debauchee is a man who engaged in the pursuit of happiness so well, he had the misfortune of overtaking it."

What that all means is that when we place pleasure as our goal we loose our perspective of happiness and we will choose pleasure over happiness. Pleasure is very temporary and our young age pleasures have a bad tendency to turn against us in just a very short number of years. what you see as pleasure today are going to be the source of great pain and distress by the time you reach 30 years old. It is indeed a pain full burden to look at the destroyed lives of young woman, then realize you are part of the tool of destruction that ruined their lives.