The Marriage Thread

[CosmicPathos]

Nah dont agree with you here. Doing studies asks a lot of a student. You have to have certain skills like discussing, conversating, presentation and stuff on a certain level. You could have this skills but the level of difficulty is much higher in a University environment. Besides your lacking an area of expertise this way. You dont have the extra luggage you can use in daily life. And what do you think about linguistic usage? Also asks a lot of you in an University environment.

not really. I have intelligent "friends" doing PhDs, they know how to communicate in a professional setting but they dont know how to communicate in relationships. In other words, they have much to learn about how friendship is maintained. Marriage is a more scarier business! The skills one learns at university are geared towards success in professional settings, not necessarily intimate relations.

 

[★ηαѕιнα★]

not really. I have intelligent "friends" doing PhDs, they know how to communicate in a professional setting but they dont know how to communicate in relationships. In other words, they have much to learn about how friendship is maintained. Marriage is a more scarier business! The skills one learns at university are geared towards success in professional settings, not necessarily intimate relations.

They should switch to Social Work haha;D
Succes guarenteed

 

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

One thing is for sure. You can still be ignorant even with a degree.

 

[Asiyah3]

but what if she doesn't intend on making him feel that way? what if she genuinely understands that as a guy then he is going to have some extent of pride, etc. what if the only reason she studied was to gain knowledge and to have something to fall back on? what if she studied without the intention of working? whats the big issue then?

You pretty much summed up my condition.
:wa:

 

[Ali_008]

but what if she doesn't intend on making him feel that way? what if she genuinely understands that as a guy then he is going to have some extent of pride, etc. what if the only reason she studied was to gain knowledge and to have something to fall back on? what if she studied without the intention of working? whats the big issue then?

also, what about in other ways a wife can compete with her husband, other then in education? what about those women who can do those "handy man" things around the house? what about those types of women who naturally have a strong personality? is it still a threat to him?

and what about Islamic knowledge? does a guy feel threatened if his wife is more knowledgeable then him in that aspect?

What if she is educated but has a soft character to compensate for it??

Well, if its that then she's the ideal woman for every man. What more can a guy ask for? A beautiful, religious, educated, sincere wife. That's all I want but where there's beauty there's no religion, where there's religion there's no education, where there's education there's no sincerity. :hmm: It all keeps going like this. I know the search of perfection does not have an end but there's also the category called "close-to-perfection" which is not that tough to find but very rare though.

 

[Beardo]

Well, if its that then she's the ideal woman for every man. What more can a guy ask for? A beautiful, religious, educated, sincere wife. That's all I want but where there's beauty there's no religion, where there's religion there's no education, where there's education there's no sincerity. :hmm: It all keeps going like this. I know the search of perfection does not have an end but there's also the category called "close-to-perfection" which is not that tough to find but very rare though.

OMG! mg: I feel the EXACT same way! My God, my thoughts and feelings EXACTLY! It's almost as if you took those right out of my brain, except I couldn't word it so beautifully.

But that's why it's so hard to find a spouse. *sighs* May Allah Ta'ala give us all eternal and perfect soulmates.

And I'm glad how you did not underestimate education. "Where there's religion, there is no education." Education is also vital. I mean, I want a spouse who knows at least how to send e-mails, post on a forum, and write the bills/checks etc., do the groceries, and stuff like that. Not to overwork her, but these are basic and essential life skills, which is why education is important at that point in time.

 

[cat eyes]

Well, if its that then she's the ideal woman for every man. What more can a guy ask for? A beautiful, religious, educated, sincere wife. That's all I want but where there's beauty there's no religion, where there's religion there's no education, where there's education there's no sincerity. :hmm: It all keeps going like this. I know the search of perfection does not have an end but there's also the category called "close-to-perfection" which is not that tough to find but very rare though.

well brother what do u mean about close to perfection? thats very difficult for any human also. look we all try to be perfect. see the world and see the struggles people have to try and make a living thats why they turn to the deen and try to make that there life. they leave the worldly things cos they have given up

for example i did not have the money to study before but now inshaAllah im going back in to education.. theres so many things which was stopping me before which is private and don't want to tell my life story here but just don't judge a book by its cover.

btw people with degree's are ignorant. a person with a degree dose not make u some type of angel or anything. i know a lot of people with degree's and they are that stupid that they don't know how to order a pizza online so really i don't understand what a degree has to do with anything:hmm:

 

[noorseeker]

There are Intelligent people who have no common sense

 

[Re.TiReD]

That's all I want but where there's beauty there's no religion, where there's religion there's no education, where there's education there's no sincerity. :hmm:.

Thats just....Urghhh! Its a disgusting generalisation. I'm not even going to tell you why. Just think about it.

 

[Cabdullahi]

they are that stupid that they don't know how to order a pizza online so really i don't understand what a degree has to do with anything:hmm:

how do you order pizza online?

 

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

One thing is for sure. You can still be ignorant even with a degree.

^^Like I said

 

[aadil77]

Thats just....Urghhh! Its a disgusting generalisation. I'm not even going to tell you why. Just think about it.

I agree, its almost like accusing Allah of creating people that aren't pious, beautiful, intelligent and sincere at the same time

 

[Beardo]

Thats just....Urghhh! Its a disgusting generalisation. I'm not even going to tell you why. Just think about it.

I agree, its almost like accusing Allah of creating people that aren't pious, beautiful, intelligent and sincere at the same time

No no, we don't mean it like that.

I mean, same goes for the men as well, not just the women.

It's just that it's hard to find an overall girl. People naturally work in extremes, and so we consider whatever extreme we're on to be "normal", hence, what brother Ali means to say is that it's hard to find a like-minded overall girl to marry.

:hiding:

 

[Asiyah3]

It's just that it's hard to find an overall girl.

Just thought to add this as a reminder:

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Let not a believing man hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her attributes, he will be pleased with another.” (Narrated by Muslim from Abu Hurayrah, 1469).

 

[Beardo]

Just thought to add this as a reminder:

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Let not a believing man hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her attributes, he will be pleased with another.” (Narrated by Muslim from Abu Hurayrah, 1469).

Definitely a good reminder. Jazakumullahu Khair. Relevant to the situation as well.

We're not hating or specifying anyone here though, just to clarify. It's all in good and beneficial discussion insha'Allah, so let's not get too hasty in judging. ;D

 

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

Well, if its that then she's the ideal woman for every man. What more can a guy ask for? A beautiful, religious, educated, sincere wife. That's all I want

That's all you want? I was thinking you forgot to mention other stuff. May Allaah bless you with a wife that is like that and better But keep in mind, are you the same for the sister like you want it from her? If you want someone like Khadijah (r.a.), you better make sure you're like the Prophet (saw). It's easy to point fingers and say stuff - but perhaps we don't find sisters like that because we're not like that ourselves? Something to think about.

That's all I want but where there's beauty there's no religion, where there's religion there's no education, where there's education there's no sincerity. :hmm: It all keeps going like this.

The part in bold is really false generalization, not to mention completely unfair to the sisters. There are a lot of sisters who are religious, beautiful, sincere, practicing, righteous, loving, caring, etc. We need to look in the right places and the right way.

I know the search of perfection does not have an end but there's also the category called "close-to-perfection" which is not that tough to find but very rare though.

There's no such thing as perfection in this life - that's in paradise. We need to keep that in mind at all times so we don't loose someone who is right for us because we thought they weren't perfect or 'close to perfection'. You want someone who is right for you and who you are right for. If she has shortcomings, then so do we. It's a give/take relationship and we need to learn to compromise.

 

[aadil77]

That's all you want? I was thinking you forgot to mention other stuff. May Allaah bless you with a wife that is like that and better But keep in mind, are you the same for the sister like you want it from her?

That is something to think about, cause personally I'd never expect those qualities from a sister if I didn't possess them myself, it works both ways so seems fair.

 

[Beardo]

That is something to think about, cause personally I'd never expect those qualities from a sister if I didn't possess them myself, it works both ways so seems fair.

That's true. I guess I didn't think about it from thar aspect.

May Allah Ta'ala grant us all perfect soulmates and spouses.

 

['Abdul Rahmaan]

That's true. I guess I didn't think about it from thar aspect.

May Allah Ta'ala grant us all perfect soulmates and spouses.

That's true. I guess I didn't think about it from that aspect.

 

[AhmadibnNasroon]

Assalamu 3laykum

okay

I've sat back and watched this threat unfold so I have the best advice concerning this topic

and that is the best advice is no advice!!