The Marriage Thread

:sl:


Match making is my hobby. Sometimes I dont understand how far I am allowed to tell about girl & boy and their family . Let's say: girl's one sister 3 yrs back left home with someone she loves and got married without the approval of her parent.

Later they accepted it . Now do I have to tell about this to the would be groom's parent ? Or his dad is very sick , half paralised. He requested me not to tell this ;otherwise girl's wont' agree to the proposal. So , it's ok for me to hide this info ?
 
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im going to leave it what alpha dude said, but in my defense, i want to say:

please teach that to Ummu Sufyaan. I am only playing a devil's advocate here.

to address your barrage of baseless allegations.
Provide me evidence were i gone against the quran and sunnah in any of my relies? provide me evidence from any of my posts where (whether it is in this thread or elsewhere) i have indicated that im a feminist or im a supporter of feminism. tell me where i have said for sisters to disobey their husbands and/or where have i said for sisters to remain hijabless, etc (as is the character of feminists)

i have told you previously that im none of this, but it seemed to have gone unnoticed.

im going to ignore your other cunning and cleverally worded quotes, because i know you have worded them the way you have, on the presumption that they will be reacted to in a certain way, and hence have myself made to look stupid. i refuse to fall for your deception and even more have myself vilified and mocked at because my mindset isn’t in conformation to someone else’s.
Please don’t think I was born yesterday.

but these 2, i cant ignore.
I am sure if I apply your definition of chauvinism to Umer (ra) then he certainly appears to be so! He finds it necessary for women to draw veil on themselves but does not feel that men should rather do that?! If that is not chauvinism, as you define it, then I do not know what it is.
But of course, Umar (ra) was far above what you label as the disgusting chauvinism of the men of past and present (mine specially).
Patronization doesn’t go down well with me, neither does putting words in my mouth, so your "method" holds no weight, use another one.

please read the whole hadth and incident to that before you accuse me of such rubbish. he found it necessary because he felt protective over the women, which is lot more then i can say towards some of the men of today who have twisted this meaning to suit their desires.


as for your comments on women not raising scholars, I’ll have you know that it is the very man you have quoted in your signature, that is named/attributed to his mother. "taymiyyah" is a girl’s name. also, the greatest of ulamaa eg imam al-buhkari praise and acknowledge that it was their mothers who encouraged them towards knowledge. there is also a saying in arabic that goes: أم تصنع أمة (Ummun tasna3o ummah)- a mother builds a nation.


As for your comments regarding women chasing a medicine degree because it is easier for her then jihad, his one i also cant ignore. go take this up with the sahaabiyaat who used to provide medical aid to the soldiers. and tell me where are the men who have willingly left their degrees to fight?
 
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:wa:
:sl:


Match making is my hobby. Sometimes I dont understand how much I am allowed to tell about girl & boy and their family . Let's say: girl's one sister 3 yrs back left home with someone she loves and got married without the approval of her parent.

Later they accepted it . Now do I have to tell about this to the would be groom's parent ? Or his dad is very sick , half paralised. He requested me not to tell this ;otherwise girl's wont' agree to the proposal. So , it's ok for me to hide this info ?
Did I get this right?
The girl's sister left home three years ago with a guy and married without the approval of her parent. Now their parents accept it. Should you tell the groom's parents about this story of her sister?

Now why would the groom's parents care about her sister's deed? If you tell the groom's parents then the girl's wont accept, why? Is it some kinda forbidden secret or something?
 
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I have to be honest, I am so scared I wont be able to find a muslim albanian man to marry. It is silly at the same time as realistic. I dont live in an area where there are that many albanians, and the most of the albanians that i do run into are either christians or secular muslims and its such a shame. I have some religious cousins who are keeping an eye out for someone but then what if we dont hit it off?

So far I have met two albanian men who practice Islam. One of them I had nothing at all in common with. The other my father didnt approve of because of rumors of the type of business he has, which I was never told about but I trust my fathers judgement.


Ugh...so frustrating that I have my options limited by culture. I know some of you will go on the offensive and go off on tirades about how foolish that is, but its a reality for many people. I know many Pakistani girls who wouldnt dare marry non pakistani men.
Personally, even if my parents did let me marry outside my culture I dont think I could because I am so immersed in it. Every fiber of my being is Albanian-Muslim. As badly as I want my kids to grow up pious, I also want them to grow up very Albanian.

I probably sound silly by now oh well
 
I have to be honest, I am so scared I wont be able to find a muslim albanian man to marry. It is silly at the same time as realistic. I dont live in an area where there are that many albanians, and the most of the albanians that i do run into are either christians or secular muslims and its such a shame. I have some religious cousins who are keeping an eye out for someone but then what if we dont hit it off?

So far I have met two albanian men who practice Islam. One of them I had nothing at all in common with. The other my father didnt approve of because of rumors of the type of business he has, which I was never told about but I trust my fathers judgement.


Ugh...so frustrating that I have my options limited by culture. I know some of you will go on the offensive and go off on tirades about how foolish that is, but its a reality for many people. I know many Pakistani girls who wouldnt dare marry non pakistani men.
Personally, even if my parents did let me marry outside my culture I dont think I could because I am so immersed in it. Every fiber of my being is Albanian-Muslim. As badly as I want my kids to grow up pious, I also want them to grow up very Albanian.

I probably sound silly by now oh well

Your only a stones throw from the bottom of the boot......what about an Italian Muslim? I know there is a little tention some times between but yu never know? Of course with Padre's approval first:D
 
Lol, I personally would do it myself, I PREFER an albanian muslim because i would love to have that cultural link with my partner, but i also love other cultures and if Allah swt has chosen someone of a different culture i would not be upset but i know that most of my family would be very judgemental
 
Lol, I personally would do it myself, I PREFER an albanian muslim because i would love to have that cultural link with my partner, but i also love other cultures and if Allah swt has chosen someone of a different culture i would not be upset but i know that most of my family would be very judgemental

Trust me i know.....I married an Indian;D I lucked out though, my family is very accepting of all of the Arab and Asian cultures, (My fratello, (brother) married a Saudi) but they aren't much for the Brit's:hmm:
 
★ηαѕιнα★;1295766 said:
Same in morrocan culture, my mum actually told me if I would marry someone outside my culture she wouldnt be my mum anymore. Hard to hear alhamdoellilah. imsad "dont like me, dont care" doesnt really apply her I guess :)

Really? Wow, that's strong. I think however, this old traditional view (that exists in all cultures) is slowly being sifted out as time goes on, alhamdulillah. The new generations will inshaAllah have a better understanding of Islam.
 
★ηαѕιнα★;1295766 said:
Same in morrocan culture, my mum actually told me if I would marry someone outside my culture she wouldnt be my mum anymore. Hard to hear alhamdoellilah. imsad "dont like me, dont care" doesnt really apply her I guess :)

My mother told me the same thing, ....for like 10 minutes.....then I married an Indian, my brother married a Saudi and everyone else in my family married someone of Arab or South Asian decent. We do still have arranged marriages in my family so some still marry Italian women......I was supposed to be arranged:embarrass ....and my marriage to my Indian wife was semi arranged.
 
My mother told me the same thing, ....for like 10 minutes.....then I married an Indian, my brother married a Saudi and everyone else in my family married someone of Arab or South Asian decent. We do still have arranged marriages in my family so some still marry Italian women......I was supposed to be arranged:embarrass ....and my marriage to my Indian wife was semi arranged.

No in my family we dont have that arranged marriage stuff alhamdoellilah.
Thank Allah swt for that. I still get to choose my own husband. Though it has to fit their standards. Thats the part I have a problem with. I guess me being a girl causes them to be more protective. 10 min. for you is 10 months (or even years) of nagging for me! Ooh well Ill just wait and see in what kind of package my future husband will come:statisfie
And I guess you not being the only one who married outside ur race kinda helps you. My uncle married a dutch woman and they eventually came to except it. But for me I think its not possible because (again!) im a girl and obviously dont know what im doing. Again with the protecting stuff and the "what will the community think?". Brother Banu Hashim (cool name btw) ur r right about the next generation thing. Already decided to do things differently with my own children. Inshallah it will "wash out" and people will start acting as it is prescribed in the Quran. Too much culture is mixed.
You see the same with the huge weddings with the limo and the fancy restaurants and the men/women mixing. May Allah swt guide us all.
 
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Really? Wow, that's strong. I think however, this old traditional view (that exists in all cultures) is slowly being sifted out as time goes on, alhamdulillah. The new generations will inshaAllah have a better understanding of Islam.

Yea the newer generations are less...errr ignorant about this concept...inshaAllah it will change.
 
My mother told me the same thing, ....for like 10 minutes.....then I married an Indian,

:D hope my mother comes to accept my wife like yours :hmm: she still reeling from the day i told her i won't marry a girl from my culture :exhausted and I'm engaged to Caucasian. I'm the first in my family to break culture and traditions
 
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I can marry who i want to marry but my grandmother suggested i marry a bush girl and this bush girl looked after me while i was there visiting my grandmother i was sick for 2 days and 2 nights from drinking camel's milk this wonder women gave me lots of fluids to drink to replenish myself.

I vomited outside on the sand and she used her slippers with the dustpan because they didn't have a brush to sweep up my vomit that touched my heart and i had a momentary thought that if i was going to vomit in britain whilst married to a naggy brit she'd say to me ''go get lost upstairs to the toilet and clean after yourself you fool!''


Moral of the story back home girls also known as bush girls are the best and modernized sisters are not up to scratch with cordiality but they're somewhat good!
 
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I can marry who i want to marry but my grandmother suggested i marry a bush girl and this bush girl looked after me while i was there visiting my grandmother i was sick for 2 days and 2 nights from drinking camel's milk this wonder women gave me lots of fluids to drink to replenish myself.

I vomited outside on the sand and she used her slippers with the dustpan because they didn't have a brush to sweep up my vomit that touched my heart and i had a momentary thought that if i was going to vomit in britain whilst married to a naggy british she'd say to me ''go get lost upstairs to the toilet and clean after yourself you fool!''

^^^^^^^^^^ Are you sure all naggy british Muslim Wives would say that ?
 
not all sir maybe 99% of them :hmm:


im talking about the new, up and coming modern sisters who neglected and left behind the traditional cordiality :cry:
 
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I can marry who i want to marry but my grandmother suggested i marry a bush girl and this bush girl looked after me while i was there visiting my grandmother i was sick for 2 days and 2 nights from drinking camel's milk this wonder women gave me lots of fluids to drink to replenish myself.

I vomited outside on the sand and she used her slippers with the dustpan because they didn't have a brush to sweep up my vomit that touched my heart and i had a momentary thought that if i was going to vomit in britain whilst married to a naggy brit she'd say to me ''go get lost upstairs to the toilet and clean after yourself you fool!''


Moral of the story back home girls also known as bush girls are the best and modernized sisters are not up to scratch with cordiality but they're somewhat good!


That's nonsense. Not all sisters in the West are as you describe them...:skeleton:
 
Sorry broimsad

lololol. ;D I was kidding.

But anyway, iono. Is it just me or does it seem like it's hard to find people within your own race?

That raises another question. How well does it work out to marry someone from another race? There's a language and culture barrier, among other aspects.
 

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