The Marriage Thread

[YusufNoor]

Re: expensive weddings

I know!! costs are crazily expensive here, what to do brother?

fear Allah and not your fellow countrymen.

beside we know so many people, and its hard to left any without invitation...so its not that easy.

sure it is: just send them notices for the nikkah and ask them to make dua for you! set trends when they involve returning to the Qur'an and the Sunnah. if it displease mankind, so what?

I saw somewhere in this thread the number $350,000, you didn't comment on that brother Yusef!

i wasn't singling you out, per se. i was just using the number. i missed the $350,000!! THAT is WORSE than stupid or ignorant, but i bet it pleased Shaytan! [once you start a replay, it wasn't in what was left to view in the thread. but seriuosly someone put $350,000? a third of a million dollars on a wedding? ONE wedding? SubhanAllah!]


authu Billahi mina-shaytan ir rajim,

Iyyaka na'budu wa Iyyaka nesta'een

all else is worshiping shaytan.

:wa:

 

[Danah]

Re: expensive weddings

^Send them a note? I wish this can work! but seriously, societies and cultures are differ from place to another.
Inviting around 500 person! do you think this will cost nothing?

 

[Banu_Hashim]

That is true brother, maybe I'm afraid of my mother saying.. "what?!... what do you need to get married for!? Finish your degree!!" But inshaAllah when I pass this year (make du'aa) I'll ask her to start to start looking and keeping people in mind, inshaAllah.

BarakAllahu Feek.

 

[Beardo]

Maan... you just reminded me subhaanAllah... I need to get married!!!

Oh but the trials to getting married! The proper channels? How to go about finding the person? Factors to take into consideration? Pleasing parents? etc. etc.

By the way Rashad I want answers to all of these inshaAllah , (Just Kidding).

If you're getting married, than so am I. We're the same age, and what's fair for one is fair for all.

How to find the right person? ...Parents? :X Though, that could be an odd channel though for some. It'll limit your choice one of your uncle's daughters.

Not the case in my scenario, though.

Factors of consideration...

Well, all I have to say to that one is... You're thinking more deeply than I am lol. I just wanted to brush in this subject. Otherwise, I got at least 5 years to go. ;D

 

[Beardo]

Re: expensive weddings

If I had my way, it would be very simple and nothing expensive, but being realistic, I think 2-3k is a decent amount. I really don't like the extravagent ones.

On the issue of mahr, I can't believe guys even choose to marry girls who ask for 10s of thousands. Strange.

$2-$3k sounds much more realistic.

Yeah, seriously, bout the dowry. But what is a decent amount nowadays? :X

 

[noorseeker]

i need a wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiffffffffffffffffeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyy

oh sorry , was i thinking out loud lol

 

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Parents make it so hard :mmokay:

 

[Banu_Hashim]

I've been thinking about this lately, and maybe it's distracting me too much! If I see a sister for example or know of someone and I think maybe for whatever reason we might be compatible, how would I pursue that? :/

Should I just leave the whole thing to my parents...?

 

[Italianguy]

Re: expensive weddings

Man your still counting even the cents thats not a good sign :d

LOL, it's written down;D I don't count the cents.....i didn't pay for it;D

 

[Italianguy]

Re: expensive weddings

$2-$3k sounds much more realistic.

Yeah, seriously, bout the dowry. But what is a decent amount nowadays? :X

Depends on what the father demands.

 

[Getoffmyback]

قل للمليحة بالخمار الأسود ماذا فعلت ب ناسك متعبد.

Well thats what i would look for in a woman . A poet once told me to look for almali7a he told me that its not the beauty its her energy and he described her as the fire starter or the dynamo

 

[Italianguy]

Re: expensive weddings

i actually agree with this. no joking.

we are going to be held responsible for what we do with our money, why waste it? forget the jahillya and the assabiyya. why act like the kufar? i mean $73,000 for a wedding? it's NOT the Islamic way at all!

if you go back and look at the Seerah, you will see that 1 lamb was sufficient for the walima. there was also an occasion where the Prophet, Peace be upon him, just told folks there is a wedding, bring some food!

we should emulate Rasoolullah and not the kuffar. i heard a nice lecture by Mufti Ismail Menk where he was trying to discourage this biddah we have established on weddings. one suggestion was to just have the nikkah and walima at the Masjid. nice and simple. if you have big families and you don't want to invite some but not all, don't invite anyone! just send them notices for the nikkah and ask them to make dua for you. if you want to splurge a bit, have the walima at an orphanage! they should appreciate a good feast!




wtf??? you could have distributed THOUSANDS of Qur'ans, fed some orphans for a year, donated a library for a Masjid or 2 or 3,or paid for some poor children to attend the Madrassah!

let's compete for Akhira and not the dunya!

may Allah guide us all!



sisters are allowed to ask for whatever they want. AND we are allowed to make a decision based upon what they say! we are looking for mothers to raise our children, not taking part in some kind of lottery.

:wa:

I am not a Mulsim so why would I have an Islamic wedding? I had a kifir wedding remember;D

You complain and condem any one spending more than you would. What gives YOU the right???

How do you know what we can and can't afford? I am sure that for every dollar that was spent $2 went to a charity! If we and or he (Another kifir !!!) can afford that wedding he can surely afford to donate 5 times that amount to the church.

If one is stupid enough to spend insane amounts of money on a wedding they can't afford or takes away from tithing, than i totally agree with you. But DO NOT condem me because i (we)can afford it!

God be with you.

 

[Italianguy]

Re: expensive weddings

^Send them a note? I wish this can work! but seriously, societies and cultures are differ from place to another.
Inviting around 500 person! do you think this will cost nothing?

I know really! He doesn't get it.

 

[Italianguy]

Re: expensive weddings

What about this (marriage list) . Its So common here in leb . On the invitation card there will be a note says "if you desire to send a gift please go to this bank ..... "

You'll go to the bank to put money under their names and No one puts less than a 100.

Thats what happened when i attended my cousin's wedding . The cost was 12k . They invited 140 person . Lets say 40 out of them put a gift.So thats 4k . Some people puts 500 some put even more . So in the end the couple will be paying maybe 2k for their wedding . Its a good way.

We recieved $34,000.00 in cash and checks as gifts from both sides of the family combined.....plus a couple toasters:hmm:

 

[SweetCherryPie]

Re: expensive weddings

I am not a Mulsim so why would I have an Islamic wedding? I had a kifir wedding remember;D

You complain and condem any one spending more than you would. What gives YOU the right???

How do you know what we can and can't afford? I am sure that for every dollar that was spent $2 went to a charity! If we and or he (Another kifir !!!) can afford that wedding he can surely afford to donate 5 times that amount to the church.

If one is stupid enough to spend insane amounts of money on a wedding they can't afford or takes away from tithing, than i totally agree with you. But DO NOT condem me because i (we)can afford it!

God be with you.

Totally agree with you here. If anyone can afford to have an extravagant wedding, so be it. To each his own.

 

[Alpha Dude]

Re: expensive weddings

$2-$3k sounds much more realistic.

Yeah, seriously, bout the dowry. But what is a decent amount nowadays? :X

I would say £1000 is decent. However, sisters will undoubtedly have a different perspective. :exhausted

Saying that, I do understand that women might need something (financial) to fall back on if the marriage didn't work out and she's worried she'd be left on her own. So to an extent, I do understand the motive behind big amounts. However, around £5000 is more than enough. Any more than that then she's kinda being a gold digger.

What I don't get is how guys who are poor slave their butts off just so they can afford extortionate amounts of mahr (10k upwards) and extravagant weddings of equal if not higher cost.

It's one thing doing it when you're rich (in which case you'd actually be stingy to go cheap), but entirely different when you're not well off to begin with and struggle to come up with the money. Such money could be spent on more worthwile things, like doing the house up or something.

 

[Italianguy]

Re: expensive weddings

I would say £1000 is decent. However, sisters will undoubtedly have a different perspective. :exhausted

Saying that, I do understand that women might need something (financial) to fall back on if the marriage didn't work out and she's worried she'd be left on her own. So to an extent, I do understand the motive behind big amounts. However, around £5000 is more than enough. Any more than that then she's kinda being a gold digger.

What I don't get is how guys who are poor slave their butts off just so they can afford extortionate amounts of mahr (10k upwards) and extravagant weddings of equal if not higher cost.

It's one thing doing it when you're rich (in which case you'd actually be stingy to go cheap), but entirely different when you're not well off to begin with and struggle to come up with the money. Such money could be spent on more worthwile things, like doing the house up or something.

Does the father f the bride pay for the wedding in an Islamic wedding? Mine did, but i am not Muslim. I don't understand why anyone would send there selves to the poor house by spending money they can't afford. I have a friend who charged $38,000.00 on his credit card for his wedding, ....what a moron, he will never pay that off!:heated:

 

[abrar_]

As salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh,

Hmm it is rightly said ' Make Marriage easy so that Zina becomes difficult' but its the other way round these days...and the major barrier is the communication gap between parents and children and the culture...

I some how managed to tell my parents that i wanna get married ...i started like day by day clothes are becoming shorter and tighter and its very difficult... my mom responded be like Prophet Yusuf(AS) i know we should try our best to be like the Prophets and the pious people... and I respect her advice... but different people have different level of iman... and its kinda difficult these days...

May Allaah (The Perfect) make things easy for us... and bless us with spouses and childrens who are apple of our eyes Ameen !

 

[Danah]

Re: expensive weddings

i wasn't singling you out, per se. i was just using the number. i missed the $350,000!! THAT is WORSE than stupid or ignorant, but i bet it pleased Shaytan! [once you start a replay, it wasn't in what was left to view in the thread. but seriuosly someone put $350,000? a third of a million dollars on a wedding? ONE wedding? SubhanAllah!]


authu Billahi mina-shaytan ir rajim,

Iyyaka na'budu wa Iyyaka nesta'een

all else is worshiping shaytan.

:wa:

Sorry for the wrong info earlier on. I just doubled check the costs thingy by asking and it was not only for the party but for the mahar and all the bride needs and stuff.
That makes a little bit more sense now I guess.

 

[Alpha Dude]

Re: expensive weddings

oes the father f the bride pay for the wedding in an Islamic wedding? Mine did, but i am not Muslim.

I'm not really sure who has to pay. I think it depends on the culture. :><:

I don't understand why anyone would send there selves to the poor house by spending money they can't afford. I have a friend who charged $38,000.00 on his credit card for his wedding, ....what a moron, he will never pay that off!:heated:

Exactly. It's just a waste. If you're rich and have that kind of money in the first place, then it's understandable but if you're borrowing and begging for the expense, that's just dumb and shortsighted.