The Marriage Thread

[Asiyah3]

Jazakiallahu khair Muraad and Insane Insaan for the information.
Now I'll surely love to arrange the Waleemah! Insha'lLah :statisfie

Edit: I'd spend around 20 000-50 000 on it, insha'lLah.

 

[★ηαѕιнα★]

I'd like to add one more question to this thread if nobody minds

How much will you spend on a house? Do you plan to rent it or buy one (how much would you spend on these)? What kind of a house do you require? How many rooms, the size etc. ? Please free to tell more...

Whatever he owns will be good. Just when the kids arrive itll be necessary to expand a bit. Just husband and wife dont need a huge house. Come on ladies, you guys forget you will have to clean the whole castle! My back hurts just thinking about it! ;D
And you know the Prohpets wives had just one room each??

 

[SweetCherryPie]

Whatever he owns will be good. Just when the kids arrive itll be necessary to expand a bit. Just husband and wife dont need a huge house. Come on ladies, you guys forget you will have to clean the whole castle! My back hurts just thinking about it! ;D

LOL. True! Just the thought of cleaning my condo tomorrow morning is giving me a heart attack!

 

[Beardo]

I'd like to add one more question to this thread if nobody minds

How much will you spend on a house? Do you plan to rent it or buy one (how much would you spend on these)? What kind of a house do you require? How many rooms, the size etc. ? Please free to tell more...

Hm. Well, I sort of actually initially want to move in with my parents. :X

I see Brother Muraad lurking on this thread more often now.

How many of you would MIND moving in with in-laws? :X

 

[Beardo]

Whatever he owns will be good. Just when the kids arrive itll be necessary to expand a bit. Just husband and wife dont need a huge house. Come on ladies, you guys forget you will have to clean the whole castle! My back hurts just thinking about it! ;D

My English professor was literally yelling at the guys in the class yesterday. One of our reading assignments was called "I want a wife" by Judy Brady. And basically, she would say how she wants a wife because the wives do all the work, and the husbands just relax.

So my English Professor was yelling at all the guys in the class saying when we get married, we have our fair share of duties as well, and that the wives/women are not our slaves. :X

 

[★ηαѕιнα★]

Hm. Well, I sort of actually initially want to move in with my parents. :X

I see Brother Muraad lurking on this thread more often now.

How many of you would MIND moving in with in-laws? :X

Well actually when u move in with inlaws you dont have privacy. Thats an important issue. Depends on how long u gonna live there also. And just practical thinking: when the kids arrive will the inlaws tell u how to raise your children? Woman like to raise children their way, not mummy in law telling her how to do stuff. I wouldnt even want my own mum to tell me how to raise my kids. When somethings up ill go to her. I know i couldnt do it seriously. I couldnt even live with hubby in my own parents house. Marriage is tough, two lives coming together. Moving in with parents on whatever side adds more stress to it. :hmm:

 

[Beardo]

Well actually when u move in with inlaws you dont have privacy. Thats an important issue. Depends on how long u gonna live there also. And just practical thinking: when the kids arrive will the inlaws tell u how to raise your children? Woman like to raise children their way, not mummy in law telling her how to do stuff. I wouldnt even want my own mum to tell me how to raise my kids. When somethings up ill go to her. I know i couldnt do it seriously. I couldnt even live with hubby in my own parents house. Marriage is though, two lives coming together. Moving in with parents on whatever side adds more stress to it. :hmm:

How about moving in the initial years? When children arrive, it's time to move out. You definitely don't want to intrude privacy of anyone.

Actually, my friend wants to get married and he asked me if it's a good idea. I'm not sure what to say, which is why I made this thread.

 

[tw009]

lol sis I wont guess but as per Pakistani families, when it usually comes to a girl it's a taboo definitely :/ Like my mom thinks it's shameful if i mention it in front of my dad. Hello0o0 I'm gunna marry sooner or later. Honestly I don't get this cultural mentality :exhausted. My bro speaks up straight out when it's concerning me lol and im like thank Allah you're my brother! In my head of course. He knows I want too...so it's like he's my voice sometimes. lol bless x

Anyway I know how u feel. Out of sarcasm my parents will say something relating to marriage and I give a serious answer. Why? I feel it's my best opportunity to get my point across :/ I'm not a kid anymore ya know...I'm at that age now.

Lol I agree. I can never mention anything relating to my marriage in front of my dad:hmm: it's just too strange for me. My mom sometimes says stuff in sarcasm too and that's the only time I give a serious answer too just so she knows what I have in mind lolll : )

 

[Beardo]

^ Yeah, nobody takes it seriously these days. It's just so common for parents to delay marriage to such an extent that when children come along, you're walking with a cane!

 

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Lol I agree. I can never mention anything relating to my marriage in front of my dad:hmm: it's just too strange for me. My mom sometimes says stuff in sarcasm too and that's the only time I give a serious answer too just so she knows what I have in mind lolll : )

Yeaaaaaaaa lol thats so true...but I should be able to now u know. Let's just say I'm not 18 anymore :/

 

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

I see Brother Muraad lurking on this thread more often now.

I've been told I have a marriage-thread spidey sense mg:

^ Yeah, nobody takes it seriously these days. It's just so common for parents to delay marriage to such an extent that when children come along, you're walking with a cane!

They have their own perspectives for which they can't be blamed. As long as you can show them that you're capable of supporting a family, then I think it should be alright.

Lol I agree. I can never mention anything relating to my marriage in front of my dad:hmm: it's just too strange for me. My mom sometimes says stuff in sarcasm too and that's the only time I give a serious answer too just so she knows what I have in mind lolll : )

Yeah you need to be subtle..but sometimes being frank on what you think is better. Depends on the situation.

 

[tw009]

^ Yeah, nobody takes it seriously these days. It's just so common for parents to delay marriage to such an extent that when children come along, you're walking with a cane!

haha lol, I don't think parents delay marriages, They actually want us to get married asap. Iv seen people getting their children engaged/married tooo soon

 

[Banu_Hashim]

Re: expensive weddings

I know someone who spent less than £10, Alhumduilah

lol, really!? Subhanallah... I just spent that much today on food mg:

 

[Life_Is_Short]

Re: expensive weddings

What ! You never attended a wedding . The sheikh costs more than 100 Quid

Never underestimate the value of British currency. Once exchanged, it could finance four weddings.

Now a days, poor girls (back home) don't get married because the other side demands too much. It's an outrage. :hmm: These girls are educated and of a good character but they care about money that comes with her when she gets married.


Alhamdulilah my parents (although financially well off) want to set an example in so called materialised asian culture.

 

[Beardo]

Re: expensive weddings

lol, really!? Subhanallah... I just spent that much today on food mg:

lol

Iono. Isn't that a bit too little? I don't think 10 pounds can feed the Masjid.... Unless you have extreme Barakah Masha'Allah.

 

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Re: expensive weddings

Never underestimate the value of British currency. Once exchanged, it could finance four weddings.

Now a days, poor girls (back home) don't get married because the other side demands too much. It's an outrage. :hmm: These girls are educated and of a good character but they care about money that comes with her when she gets married.


Alhamdulilah my parents (although financially well off) want to set an example in so called materialised asian culture.

MashaAllah sis thats good that your parents wish to do that. We need more people like that may Allah reward u and ur family, ameen.

 

[Beardo]

Re: expensive weddings

Never underestimate the value of British currency. Once exchanged, it could finance four weddings.

Now a days, poor girls (back home) don't get married because the other side demands too much. It's an outrage. :hmm: These girls are educated and of a good character but they care about money that comes with her when she gets married.


Alhamdulilah my parents (although financially well off) want to set an example in so called materialised asian culture.

Well, that's the thing. That's how society works nowadays, and actually, has been working since a long time. But it's not necessarily the poor lady. It could actually be the poor man as well. It works either direction.

 

[★ηαѕιнα★]

How about moving in the initial years? When children arrive, it's time to move out. You definitely don't want to intrude privacy of anyone.

Actually, my friend wants to get married and he asked me if it's a good idea. I'm not sure what to say, which is why I made this thread.

Yeah I understand with the crisis and all..But how long is "initial years"? I can only tell you how I think about it. For me as a woman privacy is a big thing. Its not the privacy of the inlaws but your OWN privacy. If i would want to give my husband a hug or so I couldnt cos it would be to embarrasing with parents/in laws there. And especially when being a newlywed intimacy is important to strenghten the bond between husband and wife.
And I wonder how your friends future wife thinks about moving in with inlaws?

Never underestimate the value of British currency. Once exchanged, it could finance four weddings.

Now a days, poor girls (back home) don't get married because the other side demands too much. It's an outrage. :hmm: These girls are educated and of a good character but they care about money that comes with her when she gets married.


Alhamdulilah my parents (although financially well off) want to set an example in so called materialised asian culture.

This is ridiculous seriously. I would want to mention this in my marriage contract as a condition. I only want to marry the guy when he agrees on a small wedding. People forget they cant take money/stuff/juwelry with them in their grave subhanallah!

Is it allowed by the way to mention this as a condition?

Lol I agree. I can never mention anything relating to my marriage in front of my dad:hmm: it's just too strange for me. My mom sometimes says stuff in sarcasm too and that's the only time I give a serious answer too just so she knows what I have in mind lolll : )

Haha same here! I dont like sharing private stuff with dad. Dad isnt fond of me sharing private stuff either. Hes gonna do like he always does when hes embarresed: pretend he didnt hear it and go one with whatever he was doing! Same with nephews farting or saying something bad: pretend he did not hear it. Funny sometimes seriously.

 

[Getoffmyback]

Everybody is worried about how to afford marriage and the after marriage expense . But not the janitor of the building where my shop is. Well this guy have 6 childrens and he earn 400$ a month and they all live in one room. he is the happiest man ever and he is 30 years old. He even wants more childrens .

I don't know how he is doing it or how he is managing it .

i noticed that country men or villagers don't have the worries like the city people. But still 6 childrens are too much even for a rich person. ?

 

[Asiyah3]

Whatever he owns will be good. Just when the kids arrive itll be necessary to expand a bit. Just husband and wife dont need a huge house. Come on ladies, you guys forget you will have to clean the whole castle! My back hurts just thinking about it! ;D
And you know the Prohpets wives had just one room each??

I really wouldn't want to be demanding or anything, but you know I'll be living in that house over forty years (I assume, insha'lLah) so it has to be nice and lovely.

I personally find an empty room in a house important. Perhaps because we've almost always had an empty room in my parents house sometimes as a workroom or a "computer-room".

The cleaning thing won't be a promblem I'll love cleaning my own castle insha'lLah besides sister we need some exercise! A small house is equal to a cramped house, perhaps I'm a bit spoiled :hmm:

Also I'll quote this Hadith:
A spacious house is part of the Muslim’s happiness, as it says in the hadeeth narrated by Ahmad (15409) from Naafi’ ibn ‘Abd al-Haarith (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Part of a man’s happiness includes a good neighbour, a comfortable mount, and a spacious abode.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 3029.

It's part of my happiness sis <3 I could forget the ring thing coz' as you stated "People forget they cant take money/stuff/juwelry with them in their grave subhanallah!". But the house... I'll be living in it daily, insha'lLah