The Marriage Thread

[Ummu Sufyaan]

Here is a tough question, how do you get your mother around the idea of you marrying if she doesn't like the wife you've chosen ? Is there a way?

i think you should take your mothers concerns into consideration first, rather then try to convince her. the effect of having different parents from 2 different religions can be extremely tough on the kids...they can grow up really confused. not to mention if anything goes wrong between you and your wife (not you personally, just speaking in general), she could take off with the kids, and god knows what she will raise them as.

 

[Getoffmyback]

Oh i need a drastic change in the matter of marriage and proposing . I never proposed to any girl in my life . I wasted So much time and money and gained nothing out of this street love stories . I was always sure about the things that i didn't want . But never had an idea about what i really wanted when it come to relations still confused.

 

[-Fallen Angel-]

Oh i need a drastic change in the matter of marriage and proposing . I never proposed to any girl in my life . I wasted So much time and money and gained nothing out of this street love stories . I was always sure about the things that i didn't want . But never had an idea about what i really wanted when it come to relations still confused.

Salaam
Do you need help with anything brother?

 

[Getoffmyback]

Salaam
Do you need help with anything brother?

Oh man i know the answers for my problems really. I just need some more discipline. As soon as i get an idea about what i want then i will share my thoughts openly cos i will be sure then about what to ask for and i will ask for help straight away. Thanks my brother. Many many thanks.

 

[S<Chowdhury]

that's good, inshallah Allah guides her to Islam, also keep in mind that if Allah blesses you with children, they will take the mother as a role model so they will follow her actions, for example if she doesn't pray, when you tell them to pray they could say

"why?? mum doesn't pray why do we have to? we wanna be like mum"

cos the mother has a big influence, and the same with fasting and other islamic obligations, if the mother isn't doing it then the children won't see the importance of it.

and if the mum advises them to pray they'll think " you don't pray yourself why are you telling us to pray"

You raised a good point, :hmm:..........i hope it won't end up like this i know it confuses a child very much when you have 2 religions :hmm::hmm: I'll just have to address the issue if that happens.

it will be very hard situation for you :hmm: if you like white girls then there is reverts you can marry.

and that will be good alhamdulilah as reverts find it hard to get married due to cultural reasons.

;D Sister its not about ethnicity when it comes choosing a spouse for myself i look beyond those simple things and i find my fiancée to fit my type of personality etc,

Cos you made your bed when you chose to marry her.

^^^ Agreed i fully take responsibility for my actions

 

[S<Chowdhury]

i think you should take your mothers concerns into consideration first, rather then try to convince her. the effect of having different parents from 2 different religions can be extremely tough on the kids...they can grow up really confused. not to mention if anything goes wrong between you and your wife (not you personally, just speaking in general), she could take off with the kids, and god knows what she will raise them as.

That issue has been addressed of who gets custody of the children, hopefully it never comes to that and your worries are right :hmm:

 

[revert2007]

am married and we didn't spend anything for the wedding except for the registration process..A long story though and a very unique wedding i had alhamdulilah.

 

[S<Chowdhury]

am married and we didn't spend anything for the wedding except for the registration process..A long story though and a very unique wedding i had alhamdulilah.

Usually the simplest wedding turn out to be the best

 

[revert2007]

Usually the simplest wedding turn out to be the best

yes ur right alhamdulilah..actually Allah chose the date for us and we dint even know that we will marry on that day and both of us was fasting because it was monday and we want the process of 3 weeks to end.

 

[Cabdullahi]

It has been worked out

 

[S<Chowdhury]

Re: The Wedding Night

^^^^^^^^^^^^lol ;D

 

[S<Chowdhury]

Question, If a brother or sister is forced into marriage (obv Islam doesn't approve of this) but for instance if they do, how would they make the best out that situation when he or she really had no intention of marriage?

 

[★ηαѕιнα★]

It has been worked out

Thin ice again Abdullahi! ;D

 

[Ali_008]

Question, If a brother or sister is forced into marriage (obv Islam doesn't approve of this) but for instance if they do, how would they make the best out that situation when he or she really had no intention of marriage?

Well, they can get divorced by khula (correct me if I'm wrong). Or else if they want they can carry on with the marriage by supporting each other and who knows they might even fall in love. At the time of Rasoolullah (SalAllahu Alayhi WaSallam), a woman came to him and complained that she was married against her will by her father. On hearing the woman's story, Rasoolullah (SalAllahu Alayhi WaSallam) immediately ended her marriage.

 

[S<Chowdhury]

Well, they can get divorced by khula (correct me if I'm wrong). Or else if they want they can carry on with the marriage by supporting each other and who knows they might even fall in love. At the time of Rasoolullah (SalAllahu Alayhi WaSallam), a woman came to him and complained that she was married against her will by her father. On hearing the woman's story, Rasoolullah (SalAllahu Alayhi WaSallam) immediately ended her marriage.

jazakallah khairan Brother

 

[S<Chowdhury]

Quick question : Who is the guardian for marriage if there is no father?

 

[★ηαѕιнα★]

Edit___________________

 

[☆ღUmm Uthmanღ☆]

Quick question : Who is the guardian for marriage if there is no father?

The woman’s guardian is her father; then her paternal grandfathers, no matter how far the line of ascent reaches; then her son and his sons, no matter how far the line of descent reaches (this applies if she has a son); then her (full) brother through her father and mother; then her (half) brother through her father only; then their sons, no matter how far the line of descent reaches; then her paternal uncles; then their children, no matter how far the line of descent reaches; then the father’s paternal uncles; then the ruler. (al-Mughni 9/355).

 

[S<Chowdhury]

The woman’s guardian is her father; then her paternal grandfathers, no matter how far the line of ascent reaches; then her son and his sons, no matter how far the line of descent reaches (this applies if she has a son); then her (full) brother through her father and mother; then her (half) brother through her father only; then their sons, no matter how far the line of descent reaches; then her paternal uncles; then their children, no matter how far the line of descent reaches; then the father’s paternal uncles; then the ruler. (al-Mughni 9/355).

^^^^^^^^
jazakallah khairan Sister thank you

 

[☆ღUmm Uthmanღ☆]

^^^^^^^^
jazakallah khairan Sister thank you

Aameen Waiyaak akhi