Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)

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Boarder pay 1 faugi ko chuti chahiay thee. Us nay apnay officer say kaha sahib chutti chahihay. Officer bola koi bada karnama kar kay dikhao to chutti milay gee. Fauji giya or India ka aik Tank pakar kar lay aya. Us ko chutti mil gai.

Chutti say wapis aye huway kuch hi din huway thay kay us nay phir chutti kay liay aaply kardia. Officer nay phir wohi shart rakh di, "koi karnama karo to..." Fauji phir gia or India ka aik Tank pakar laya. Chutti mil gai.

Tesry baar jab woh tank pakar kar laya to officer nay kaha chutti tab milay gee jab tum mujhay bato gay keh tum tank kaysay pakartay ho. Fauji nay kaha very simple!

Ham boarder par jatay hain dosry taraf bhi kisi na kisi ko chutti jana hota hay.... Bus us ko apna Tank dia or un say un ka tank lay kar a gay! :D
 
Nikah ke waqt moulvi ne mehmano se pucha,
kisi ko is shaadi pe koi aitraaz to nahi,
ek shaks bola, haan mujhe hai
moulvi ne jawab diya
tum chup raho tum dulhe ho

---------------------------------------

Apne dimaag ko test karne ke liye
Cow ke saamne sir aage karke khade ho jaiye
agar wo door jaye to samajh lena gobar hai
agar paas aaye to samajho bhoosa hai.

---------------------------------------------

Palko pe apni baithaya hai tumhe
badi duaaon ke baad paya hai tumhe
aasani se nahi milte tum
NATIONAL ZOOLOGICAL PARK se churaya hai tumhe
 
Assalamualaikum

It's not that difficult to understand for an hyderabadi. But, hyderabadi language hyderabadioo ke siva kisi ko bhi nahi sajh me aa sakti.;D
 
muhaba said:
i don't like jokes that make fun of people of a certain ethnicity
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Take it easy, Sis Muhaba. These are just to spread smile on one's lips for quite some time.

Now read it:

When a man returned to his village from city who was working there for many years, announced that he learnt English in the city. Every body in the village started respecting him as very educated and noble man among them.

Government started a new project of constructing a railway workshop near to his village and they need at least one man from this village who could speak and understand English for foreign engineers and delegates. People took him to the recruiting officer. When he saw him, he asked, " Do you know English." Villager replied, “Yes Sir.” He asked, Okey Ksi admi ko apney paas bulana ho to kia bolein gey, He happily replied, “Come here.” Officer smiled with satisfaction and said, Oar agar ksi ko wahan bhejna ho, pointing towards Main Gate. Villager happily said, koi masla hi nhi saab and ran towards main gate and shouted from there, “Oye, come here.”
 
muhaba said:
although the joke is funny, i don't like jokes that make fun of people of a certain ethnicity and this joke is making fun of patans. Unfortunately a lot of pakistani jokes do this and it is derogatory and discriminatory.
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Normally jokes only come into being when someone is being laughed at. For last few days I'm receiving pathan jokes on my mobile from an unknown number... I don't know who is teasing me :X
 
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^You should change the Pathan to something else before posting the joke, like maybe "a man passing by". a lot of pathans find such jokes offensive. how would people of other nationalities/ethnicity feel if the joke made fun of their people? for example how would readers feel, if the joke is changed the joke to:

2 sardar darya kay kinaray bethay pani main dahi mila rahay thay. Pass say aik Panjabi guzra us na pocha kia hora hay Sardar jee.

1 Sardar bola lassi bana rahay hain.

Panjabi: Log tum logon pay lateefay theek hi banatay hain.... O pagal kay bacho...

Itni lassi kon peay ga

BTW are there any jokes about Panjabis?

Muslims should avoid jokes that make fun of a certain ethnicity as these jokes disunite the Ummah by creating feelings of anger and enmity, not to mention ethnocentrism, where one ethnicity feels they are superior to another. Pathans and Panjabis both belong to Pakistan and both are Muslims but don't seem to be one nation but two separate nations that hate each other. Not a good thing. Where did feelings of ethnocentrism and hatred toward other muslim ethnicities come from? Is it plot of the kuffar to keep the Muslims disunited?
 
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As I told you in my earlier post how jokes are created... FYI the poster of these pathan jokes is no one else but a Pathan.
In Indo Pak Pathans and Sardars are the subject of most jokes but this does not take away their intellectual works.

We have long list of Pathans and Sardars who are outstanding in their respective fields.
I don't see any harm in it as long as these are for Jokes Only. Just to honor your suggestion I will delete them.

Post # 172 of this thread has something related:
Rafeeq said:
If you can not lough on your self, you do not have right to lough on other
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Dear Sis Muhaba.

In addition to what Akhee Tilmeez explained, most of the jokes could only be amused when there is a Pahtan or Sardar in it, otherwise the purpose fails.

I can not remember very good example but find below which I could reproduce right now (just to support my arguments);

Aik pathan ney aik electronic shop k salesman sey poocha, ye TV kitney ka hey,

Wo bola, Ham pathano ko saman nhi bechtey.

Doosry din wo western outfit me dobara pohch gia or TV ki qeemat pochi, salesman ny ghoor k usey dekha or kaha, me ney aap ko kal bhi kaha tha, ham pathano ko saman nhi bechtey,

Usey boaht ghusa aaya aor herat bhi. teesrey din wo aik Arabi dress me phir ja pohncha, dobara qeemat pochi to dokandar ney is bar zara sakht lehjey me jawab dia, Khan Sahab, aap ko teen dino sey me keh raha hon, ham pathano ko saman nhi bechtey.

Pathan ney ghusey sey apney sar sey Qatra or Romal utar k phenka or bola, " Tum ko pata kesa chalta hey k hum pathan hey."

Dokandar bola, "Jis cheez ko aap TV samajh rahey hein wo TV nhi Microvace Ovan hey."

Now tell me, if we do not use Pathan / Sardar here, this joke will not be lose its fun ? ? ? ?
 
Martin Luther King Said:
If you can't fly
Run
If you can't run
Walk
If you can't walk
Crawl
But keep moving....


Aik Sahib (Jo aik Khas qumiat say taaluq rakhtay thay :X ) bolay...

Saab Theek hay bhai yeh to batao Jana kidhar hay :p
 

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