Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)

[Muhaba]

^that is a fantastic question. we should always know where we are going before we start or else we might get lost. a plan (or map) is always necessary.

 

[Rafeeq]

Aik door daraz k gaon me bohat machar ho gaey. Gaon k baron ney faisla kia ye machron ki is foj sey jo raat ko nikalti hey, aney wali raat muqabla kia jaey. Elan kara dia gia k sab nojawan raat ko tyaar ho jaey, bandooqein, bhaley, teer or talwar ley kar tayar ho gai.

Sari raat machron ka peecha kia jata raha mgr koi kamyabi na ho saki. Subah tarkey aik thaka hara dehati ongh raha tha k us k sathi ney dekha machar us ki naak pey betha hey. Us ney shest (nishana) bandhi to onghtey dehati ki ankh khul gai, is sey pehley k wo dar k bhagta, nishana leney waley ney kaha, hilna mat dushman tumhari naak pey betha hey or goli chala di.

Subah gaon k sarey bachey borhey gaon k sardar k derey pey jang ka natija suney gai jo ye tha.

LARAI BARABAR RAHI, DUSHMAN KA AIK JAWAN MARA GIA AOR HAMAREY BHI AIK SIPAHI KO APNI JAAN SEY HATH DHONEY PAREY.

(Agar insano key is tabqey ka taluq sikh baradri sey zahir kar dia jaey to latifey ka maza dobala ho sakta hey)

 

['Abd Al-Maajid]

Ahem *clears throat*
Ek gadhe ne sardar ko laat maari,
Sardar uske peeche bhaaga, Raste me usey zebra mil gaya,
Sardar usko laat maarkar bola, "Saaley! Night dress pahenkar ullu banaata hai?"
;D

 

[~Raindrop~]

LOL!
poor zebra ;D

 

[Rafeeq]

poor zebra

Rich Sardar

Kam az kam daad to urdu me deni chahye

 

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

LOL!
poor zebra ;D

lol poor PEOPLE!

 

[Rafeeq]

Aik shaks, chashma lagaey marriage certificate ko kafi der sey ulat palat kar dekh raha tha.
Begam ney poocha, aap kia dekh rahey hein, bola, har certificate ki expiry date hoti hey, is ki expiry dhoond raha hon. . . . . .mg:

 

[Rafeeq]

Aik siyah jagah sair karney gya, wahan k log usey bilkul pasand na aey.

aik hotel me khana khaney betha to berey (waiter) ney poocha sahab kia lo gey. Us ney jawab dia. Aik machli farai or hamdardi k do bol. Berey ney pocha aor kuch, to syah ney jawab dia, nhi hamdardi k do bol sirf.

Berey ney apna muhn us k kaan k pas laya or kaha "sahab, machli mat khana, do din ki basi hey" :hmm:

 

[Rafeeq]

ایک بڑی بی کو گرنے کی وجہ سے سخت چوٹ آگئی
ڈاکٹر نے مرہم پٹّی کردی اور سیڑھیوں سے اُترنے چڑھنے کو منع کردیا دو مہینے بعدپٹّی کھُل گئی تو ڈاکٹر نے اُنہیں سیڑھیاں چڑھنے کی اجازت دیدی تو اُنہوںنے کہا
خُداکا شُکر ہے کہ اب میں سیڑھیاں اُتر اور چڑھہ سکوں گی
ورنہ میں پائپ کے راستے اُترتی چڑھتی تنگ آگئی تھی ؛

 

[Innocent Soul]

Ek sardar ko murgi khane ka dil kar raha tha .Usse murgi ko angreezi mein kya kahte hai yaad nahi aaraha tha. Us ne hotel mein jakar raha 'I want to eat egg's mother'. :hiding:

 

[Rafeeq]

Ek sardar ko murgi khane ka dil kar raha tha .Usse murgi ko angreezi mein kya kahte hai yaad nahi aaraha tha. Us ne hotel mein jakar raha 'I want to eat egg's mother'

LOL........................

 

['Abd Al-Maajid]

10-12 log ek sardar ko maar rahe the phir bhi sardar hans raha tha. Ek aadmi poocha, "kyun hans rahe ho?" Sardar bola, "Mai gurmeet hoon, ye log mujhe kuldip samajh kar maar rahe hain, kitne paagal hai." ;D;D;D

 

[~Raindrop~]

10-12 log ek sardar ko maar rahe the phir bhi sardar hans raha tha. Ek aadmi poocha, "kyun hans rahe ho?" sardar bola, "mai gurmeet hoon, ye log mujhe kuldip samajh kar maar rahe hain, kitne paagal hai."

lol ;D

......

 

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

lol ;D

......

:-\ . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

[Abdul-Raouf]

10-12 log ek sardar ko maar rahe the phir bhi sardar hans raha tha. Ek aadmi poocha, "kyun hans rahe ho?" Sardar bola, "Mai gurmeet hoon, ye log mujhe kuldip samajh kar maar rahe hain, kitne paagal hai." ;D;D;D

hee hee ...thats called innocent smile (laugh) ... i think ??

 

['Abd Al-Maajid]

hee hee ...thats called innocent smile (laugh) ... i think ??

No, That's a 'very stupid sardar'. ;D

 

[Rafeeq]

Bhekari ney maldar no jawan sey poocha, " Sahab, kia bat hey, 5 sal pehley aap mujhy 10 rupey detey they, 2 sal pehley 5 rupey aor ab 2 rupey dena shru kr diey hein."

Nojawan ney jawab dia, "5 sal pehley me kunwara tha, 2 sal pehley meri shadi ho gai aor ab meri aik bachi bhi hey."

Bhekari ney berukhi sey munh phertey huey kaha, "bohat khoob...... to aap merey paison sey apney khandan ki parwarish kar rahey hein."

 

['Abd Al-Maajid]

^HAHA That was funny!!!

 

['Abd Al-Maajid]

Ek bachcha chocolate kha raha tha, ek aadmi bola, "itni chocolate khaana acha nahi hota."
Bachcha : mere dadaji 105 saal jiye the
Admi : Chocolate khate the kya wo?
Bachcha : Nahin, apne kaam se kaam rakhte the.

 

['Abd Al-Maajid]

Fighter jet pilot SARDAR ne kamyabi ke baad apna plane land kia.Land karne par ground staff ne usey hathon hath liya aur uski wardi utarne me help karne lage.

Sardar (fakr se):Aaj maine Pakistan ke 4 fightr jet,2 helicoptr aur 2 tank ko udaya hai.

Ground Staff:Wo sab to theek hai sardarji,lekin aapne ek galti kar di.

Sardar:Kya galti?

Staff:Bas aap iss khushi me Pakistan me hi land kar gaye.
;D;D;D