The Manners of Companionship
by Shaykh Badrud-Dîn al-Ghazzî (d. 984 AH / n/a CE)
Translated by Yahya Adel Ibrahîm
Know O pious brother - may Allâh make our affairs good - that the manners of companionship and good relationships are of various types, of which I will explain, such as will show the person of intellect the manners of the Believers and the Pious; and come to know that Allâh the Most Perfect, the Most High has made them a mercy and helpers towards each other, which is why the Messenger of Allâh sallallâhu ’alayhi wa sallam said,
“The example of the Believers, in their mutual love and mercy is like the example of a body, if one part feels pain, then all of the body suffers in sleeplessness and fever.” [3]
And he ’alayhis-salâm said,
“The Believer to the Believer is like a solid building, one part supporting the other.” [4]
The Prophet ’alayhis-salâm also said,
“The souls are arrayed armies, so those who knew each one another before, will be friendly … ” [5]
So if Allâh intends good for His servants, He grants them companionship of the people of the Sunnah, righteousness and adherence to the Religion.; and keeps him free from the companionship of the people of innovations. The Prophet ’alayhis-salâm said,
“A person is upon the religion of his friend, so let every one of you look to whom he keeps as a friend.” [6]
‘About a person, do not ask, but ask about his companion; Since every companion follows his friends.’
From the manners of companionship:
Good Manners
Good manners with the brothers, peers and companions, following the Messenger of Allâh sallallâhu ’alayhi wa sallam as he said, when it was said to him, What is the best of what a person is given? So he replied, “ Good manners.” [7 ]
Making One’s Opinion Good
From the manners of companionship is behaving well regarding the faults that he sees of his companions,since Ibn Mâzin said,
“The Believer seeks excuses for his brothers, whilst the hypocrite seeks out their faults.”
And Hamdûn al-Qassâr said,
“If one of your brothers commits an error, then seek ninety excuses for him, and if not, then you are the blameworthy one.”
Companionship with the Believers
To keep companionship with one whose Religion you trust and who is trustworthy, both inwardly and outwardly. Allâh - the Most High - says,
“You will not find anyone who believes in Allâh and the Last Day, making friendship with those who oppose Allâh and His Messenger, even though they were their fathers, sons, brothers or their relatives. For such He has written îmân (faith) in their hearts, and strengthened them with a spirit (proofs, light and guidance) from Himself. And We will admit them into gardens underneath which rivers flow, to dwell therein forever. Allâh is pleased with them, and they are pleased with Him. They are the Party of Allâh, indeed it is the Party of Allâh that will be successful.” [8]
Forms of Companionship
For the Shaykhs and elders: with respect to service and to carry out their needs. For those of the same peer group and those of the ‘middle rank’: with sincere advice, giving what you have and being prepared to carry out their wishes. For the students and younger ones: by guidance, teaching of manners, carrying out what knowledge demands, guidance to the manners of the Sunnah, rulings concerning the matters of the heart, and to guide them to develop good manners.
Overlooking Mistakes
From the manners of companionship is overlooking mistakes of the brothers and not reprimanding them. So al-Fudayl Ibn ’Iyâd (d.187H) said,
“Chivalry is to overlook the mistakes of the brothers.”
Ibnul-A’râbî (d.231H) said,
“Forgetting the harms caused by the brothers, causes you love of them to persist.”
So it is binding upon the Believer, that he avoids seekers of this world, since they will bring him down to the level of seeking it, and this will distance him from his salvation and it will distance him from remaining alert and being aware of it. Rather, he must strive hard in attaining the companionship of the good and the seekers of the Hereafter. Therefore, Dhun-Nûn (d.245H) said to the one whom he advised,
“Accompany the one whom you will be safe from outwardly, and whom - when you see him - it helps you in doing good and reminds you of your Lord.”
Agreement with the Brothers
And from them is: not to differ much with the brothers, but continue agreeing with the brothers in those things allowed by knowledge and the Sharî’ah. Abû ’Uthmân said, “Agreeing with the brothers is better than showing compassion for them.”
Leaving of Envy
That he does not envy the signs of Allâh’s bounty upon them. Rather, he should be happy for that and praise Allâh for it, just as he would praise Allâh if it were seen upon him. Allâh - the Most High - censures the envious one:
“Or do they envy men for what Allâh has given them from His bounty.”
[9]
The Prophet sallallâhu ’alayhi wa sallam said, “Do not envy one another.” [10]
To Keep a Feeling of Modesty
That he has hayâ‘ (modesty and shame) at all times, as he - ’alayhis-salâm - said,
“Imaan (faith) has sixty or seventy odd branches, the most excellent of them is witnessing that none has the right to be worshipped besides Allâh, and the lowest branch is removing something harmful from the road, and hayâ‘ is from îmân.” [11]
He - ’alayhis-salâm - also said,
“Hayâ‘ is from îmân, and îmân is from Paradise. Speaking obscenely is from coarseness and coarseness is from the Fire.” [12]
Companionship of the Dignified
To accompany the one who he has a feeling of respect for, so that this prevents from acting contrary to the Sharî’ah. ’Alî radiallâhu ’anhu said,
“Enliven your feeling of hayâ‘ (shame), by sitting before those whom you feel shame.”
Ahmad Ibn Hanbal (d.241H) - rahimahullâh - said,
“I have not been led into calamity except by accompanying those before whom I do not feel shame.”
Showing Happiness
To have cheerfulness of the face, kindness of the tongue, largeness of the heart, outspreading the hands, withholding anger, leaving off pride, keeping people’s honour in mind and showing happiness at their companionship and brotherhood.
Companionship of the Wise Scholar
From good companionship is that he does not accompany except a Scholar, of a person who is mild, intelligent and has knowledge. Dhun-Nûn - rahimahullâh - said,
“Allâh has not disrobed any one of His servants or a robe better than intellect, and has not adorned him with a necklace better than knowledge, nor adorned him with anything better than mildness. And the completeness of that is taqwâ (fear of Allâh).”
Giving Sincere Advice
Having a clean heart with regards to the brothers and advising them, as Allâh - the Most High - said:
“Except he who comes to Allâh with a clean heart.” [13]
Sarî as-Saqatî (d.257H) - rahimahullâh - said,
“One of the best manners of righteousness is having a good heart as regards the brothers and to give them sincere advice.”
Not Breaking Promises
Since this is from hypocrisy, and he - ’alayhis-salâtu was-salâm - said,
“The signs of the hypocrite are three: When he speaks he lies, when he makes a promise he breaks it and when he is entrusted he acts deceptively.” [14]
Sufyân ath-Thawrî (d.164H) - rahimahullâh - said,
“Do not make a promise to your brother and then break it, so that love turns to hate.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
References:
1. He is the muftî and faqîh, Abul-Barakât Badrud-Dîn al-Ghazzî. For his biography, refer to Shadharâtudh-Dhahab (8/403-406) of Ibnul-’Imâd and al-A’lâm (7/59) of az-Ziriklî.
2. From آdâbul-’Ishrah wa Dhikrus-Suhbah wal-Ukhuwwah (p. 9-20) with the checking and authentication of hadîth based upon that of Shaykh ’Alî Hasan al-Halabî and also Shaykh Mashhûr Hasan Salmân.
3. Related by al-Bukhârî (no. 6011) and Muslim (no. 2586), from an-Nu’mân Ibn Bashîr radiallâhu ’anhu.
4. Related by al-Bukhârî (no. 481) and Muslim (no. 2585), from Abû Mûsâ al-Ash’arî radiallâhu ’anhu.
5. Sahîh: Related by al-Bukhârî (6/369) with ta’lîq (suspension), from ’آ‘ishah radiallâhu ’anhâ. It was connected by Abû Ya’lâ in al-Musnad (no. 4381) with an isnâd whose narrators are from as-Sahîh - as occurs in al-Majma’ (8/88) of al-Haythamî.
6. Hasan: Related by Ahmad (2/303), Abû Dâwûd (no. 4812) and at-Tirmidhî (no. 2484), from Abû Hurayrah radiallâhu ’anhu. It was authenticated by Imâm an-Nawawî in Riyâdus-Sâlihîn (no. 174).
7. Sahîh: Related by Wakî’ in az-Zuhd (no. 423), Ibn Hibbân (1/427) and at-Tabarânî in al-Kabîr (1/147), from Usâmah Ibn Sharîk radiallâhu ’anhu. It was authenticated by al-Hâfidh al-’Irâqî in Takhrîjul-Ihyâ‘ (2/157).
8. Sûratul-Mujâdilah 58:22
9. Sûratun-Nisâ‘ 4:94
10. Sûratush-Shu’arâ 26:89
11. Related by al-Bukhârî (10/484) and Muslim (no. 2564), from Abû Hurayrah radiyallâhu ’anhu.
12. Related by al-Bukhârî (1/44) and Muslim (1/46) .
13. Sahîh: Related by Ahmad (2/501) and at-Tirmidhî (no. 2077) with a sahîh isnâd, from Abû Hurayrah radiallâhu ’anhu.
14. Related by al-Bukhârî (5/289) and Muslim (1/76)
