What do women want?

[cinnamonrolls1]

What do you mean????

There must surely be some women who want to get married?!

 

[Mustafa16]

What do you mean????

boys talk about how much they want girls......when i say hi to girls, they either run away, ignore me, or treat me rudely as a a gang. or just plain old walk away. or act all overprotective of each other. i try contacting them on social media, they block me, yet they follow other boys, and one of them (a 15 year old, im 18) even dated a chinese boy. (probably not a convert). yet she runs away whenever i try talking to her, and talks behind my back about how "creepy" i am. bear in mind I have autism and severe anxiety.

 

[Mustafa16]

There must surely be some women who want to get married?!

my mother speaks of her 26 and 27 year old friends who complain that no men ask to court them for marriage, but it seems like girls my age (ages 15-19) don't care one bit about the opposite sex while boys are the ones who struggle with......certain sins I can not mention......for fear my post will be regarded as immodest......as well as the temptation of dating and free mixing......basically, men have greater romantic and sexual desire. in fact i wouldn't be surprised if women had NO sexual desire

 

[azc]

And plenty of men too. The optimal situation would to be that just those kind of men and women would meet themselves in the marriage.

but married life without kids is quite dull

 

[sister herb]

but married life without kids is quite dull

To some it is, to some it isn´t. People are different.

 

[cinnamonrolls1]

but married life without kids is quite dull

Really? To some it may be to some it wont. I know a couple who dont have kids and seem very happy together

boys talk about how much they want girls......when i say hi to girls, they either run away, ignore me, or treat me rudely as a a gang. or just plain old walk away. or act all overprotective of each other. i try contacting them on social media, they block me, yet they follow other boys, and one of them (a 15 year old, im 18) even dated a chinese boy. (probably not a convert). yet she runs away whenever i try talking to her, and talks behind my back about how "creepy" i am. bear in mind I have autism and severe anxiety.

Oh brother, im sorry for you being treated like that! You're not creepy by the way. However, i think a girl of 15 years old is a bit young to consider marriage( unless yall were talking abt getting married later on) just have sabr akhi.

boys talk about how much they want girls......when i say hi to girls, they either run away, ignore me, or treat me rudely as a a gang. or just plain old walk away. or act all overprotective of each other. i try contacting them on social media, they block me, yet they follow other boys, and one of them (a 15 year old, im 18) even dated a chinese boy. (probably not a convert). yet she runs away whenever i try talking to her, and talks behind my back about how "creepy" i am. bear in mind I have autism and severe anxiety.

I also have anxiety so i can relate to that part- maybe try online?( eg a muslim site kinda thing)

 

[azc]

To some it is, to some it isn´t. People are different.

may be but I've seen the couple crying for not having kids.
Yes, people are different

 

[cinnamonrolls1]

may be but I've seen the couple crying for not having kids.
Yes, people are different

Of course ya, it depends on the couple

 

[azc]

And plenty of men too. The optimal situation would to be that just those kind of men and women would meet themselves in the marriage.

To some it is, to some it isn´t. People are different.

Really? To some it may be to some it wont. I know a couple who dont have kids and seem very happy together

Of course ya, it depends on the couple

and from Islamic point view kids are ne3mah of Allah swt

 

[Mahir Adnan]

what to say..... I am unmarried at least, let me marry once. I will think about polygamy later

 

[sister herb]

what to say..... I am unmarried at least, let me marry once. I will think about polygamy later

May Allah gives you a pious wife.

And that´s a good idea - start with one. Also remember, when thinking the polygamy, there might be some other man who hasn´t even the first one yet.

 

[cinnamonrolls1]

what to say..... I am unmarried at least, let me marry once. I will think about polygamy later

Yeah rhats a good idea... Maybe leave the polygamy for now

 

[azc]

what to say..... I am unmarried at least, let me marry once. I will think about polygamy later

For a happy married life one wife is enough

 

[Mustafa16]

Oh brother, im sorry for you being treated like that! You're not creepy by the way. However, i think a girl of 15 years old is a bit young to consider marriage( unless yall were talking abt getting married later on) just have sabr akhi.

thank you

I also have anxiety so i can relate to that part- maybe try online?( eg a muslim site kinda thing)

oh, im not looking to get married yet.......i was just commenting on how i got treated by girls i tried talking to who were of my jamaat, and how it seemed like they were superhuman for not ever talking about boys.

I also have anxiety so i can relate to that part- maybe try online?( eg a muslim site kinda thing)

and btw, im only 18, and not quite mature enough to get married, among other reasons, and dont have a career, or a job, so im waiting to get married, and just commenting on how boys seem to care about girls but girls dont care about boys (me and other boys in our jamaat have gossiped/confessed about girls we liked)

 

[ChosenTCO]

my mother speaks of her 26 and 27 year old friends who complain that no men ask to court them for marriage, but it seems like girls my age (ages 15-19) don't care one bit about the opposite sex while boys are the ones who struggle with......certain sins I can not mention......for fear my post will be regarded as immodest......as well as the temptation of dating and free mixing......basically, men have greater romantic and sexual desire. in fact i wouldn't be surprised if women had NO sexual desire

The thing is, its not a problem with the women of our generation. its a problem with the culture of today and how it affects the thinking of most women. The women of today are being pushed towards the, so called "independent women". This is because women have grown a resentment towards needing to depend on men for financial support and being under his mercy for most of the things (to be honest, that kind of the faults of are male ancestors who used to oppress women, up untill islam came and taught us whats right but a lot of us still dont abide by those teachings). Now the women of today would rather be independent. Part of them dont want to depend on men for anything but at the same time they dont want men to depend on them. They would like to be privileged without consequence.

Note: This is probably why she rejected you. When u start to show her a needy attitude and desire for her, she feels like u will be more of a leech on her and a burden than a good investment. Thats why most girls go for the "bad boy" type of guys ... because they think that they are so independent and strong, no emotional needs and stable. They(girls) seek the thrill of being the ones to actually change them and soften their hearts, but the truth is that most bad boys are actually using them for their pleasure and dont give a damn about these young girls. So dont be discouraged as these types of women are immature and wont be of any benefit to you.

​

You see this happening with the western women, where one would start working and provide for herself, yet still search for a male partner that would spend on her and provide for her. Why? because her nature is to want to be sheltered by a man and provided for, while her conscious mind tells her not to depend on anyone and have her own financial backup to support her if she ever loses her male provider. You also see them trying to find the next best provider, hopping from one relationship to the other, having to settle with abusers and druggies so long as they are better than their previous male providers. And at the end of the day, you see them ending up single for life with 3 to 4 kids ... a single mom for life (or in some cases, ending up being a crazy cat lady). All because she was too focused on the wrong status of men (their wealth and worldly success), instead of the things that truly make a man a real one (not being afraid of commitment, being a man to your word, respecting women, not being afraid to owning up your mistakes ... all these things).

In essence, these symptoms that your observing in women are not because of what you think, they are because of something else. Your wrong to assume that they dont have sexual desires ... They actually do feel those things and much more than men. The thing is that women have shyness much more than men thats why they dont show easily. But the badboys are able to break through that because they have no decency and encourage women to let go of their modesty while most religious men feel shy themselves like women. Add to that, the effects of media and how they portray husbands and real men as fools and naive idiots who dont know know how to please women because they cant tap into their darker side of pleasure. That is why most of the girls and young women tend to choose badboys over real men unfortunately. The best place to look for a real woman with proper values are in arab countries where all this Fasaad hasnt spread. but dont be fooled though, just because your looking in the arab region doesnt mean you will find them all good ... some of them are worse than those women in the west or even worse (a double faced women who act as modest in the beginning and then veils their ugly personality after uve married them) ... thats why its extremely important to background check the woman plan to marry and likewise for women too). Hope this makes sense cause im posting this in a rush ...

- - - Updated - - -

my mother speaks of her 26 and 27 year old friends who complain that no men ask to court them for marriage, but it seems like girls my age (ages 15-19) don't care one bit about the opposite sex while boys are the ones who struggle with......certain sins I can not mention......for fear my post will be regarded as immodest......as well as the temptation of dating and free mixing......basically, men have greater romantic and sexual desire. in fact i wouldn't be surprised if women had NO sexual desire

The thing is, its not a problem with the women of our generation. its a problem with the culture of today and how it affects the thinking of most women. The women of today are being pushed towards the, so called "independent women". This is because women have grown a resentment towards needing to depend on men for financial support and being under his mercy for most of the things (to be honest, that kind of the faults of are male ancestors who used to oppress women, up untill islam came and taught us whats right but a lot of us still dont abide by those teachings). Now the women of today would rather be independent. Part of them dont want to depend on men for anything but at the same time they dont want men to depend on them. They would like to be privileged without consequence.

Note: This is probably why she rejected you. When u start to show her a needy attitude and desire for her, she feels like u will be more of a leech on her and a burden than a good investment. Thats why most girls go for the "bad boy" type of guys ... because they think that they are so independent and strong, no emotional needs and stable. They(girls) seek the thrill of being the ones to actually change them and soften their hearts, but the truth is that most bad boys are actually using them for their pleasure and dont give a damn about these young girls. So dont be discouraged as these types of women are immature and wont be of any benefit to you.

​

You see this happening with the western women, where one would start working and provide for herself, yet still search for a male partner that would spend on her and provide for her. Why? because her nature is to want to be sheltered by a man and provided for, while her conscious mind tells her not to depend on anyone and have her own financial backup to support her if she ever loses her male provider. You also see them trying to find the next best provider, hopping from one relationship to the other, having to settle with abusers and druggies so long as they are better than their previous male providers. And at the end of the day, you see them ending up single for life with 3 to 4 kids ... a single mom for life (or in some cases, ending up being a crazy cat lady). All because she was too focused on the wrong status of men (their wealth and worldly success), instead of the things that truly make a man a real one (not being afraid of commitment, being a man to your word, respecting women, not being afraid to owning up your mistakes ... all these things).

In essence, these symptoms that your observing in women are not because of what you think, they are because of something else. Your wrong to assume that they dont have sexual desires ... They actually do feel those things and much more than men. The thing is that women have shyness much more than men thats why they dont show easily. But the badboys are able to break through that because they have no decency and encourage women to let go of their modesty while most religious men feel shy themselves like women. Add to that, the effects of media and how they portray husbands and real men as fools and naive idiots who dont know know how to please women because they cant tap into their darker side of pleasure. That is why most of the girls and young women tend to choose badboys over real men unfortunately. The best place to look for a real woman with proper values are in arab countries where all this Fasaad hasnt spread. but dont be fooled though, just because your looking in the arab region doesnt mean you will find them all good ... some of them are worse than those women in the west or even worse (a double faced women who act as modest in the beginning and then veils their ugly personality after uve married them) ... thats why its extremely important to background check the woman plan to marry and likewise for women too). Hope this makes sense cause im posting this in a rush ...

 

[Mustafa16]

The thing is, its not a problem with the women of our generation. its a problem with the culture of today and how it affects the thinking of most women. The women of today are being pushed towards the, so called "independent women". This is because women have grown a resentment towards needing to depend on men for financial support and being under his mercy for most of the things (to be honest, that kind of the faults of are male ancestors who used to oppress women, up untill islam came and taught us whats right but a lot of us still dont abide by those teachings). Now the women of today would rather be independent. Part of them dont want to depend on men for anything but at the same time they dont want men to depend on them. They would like to be privileged without consequence.

Note: This is probably why she rejected you. When u start to show her a needy attitude and desire for her, she feels like u will be more of a leech on her and a burden than a good investment. Thats why most girls go for the "bad boy" type of guys ... because they think that they are so independent and strong, no emotional needs and stable. They(girls) seek the thrill of being the ones to actually change them and soften their hearts, but the truth is that most bad boys are actually using them for their pleasure and dont give a damn about these young girls. So dont be discouraged as these types of women are immature and wont be of any benefit to you.

​

You see this happening with the western women, where one would start working and provide for herself, yet still search for a male partner that would spend on her and provide for her. Why? because her nature is to want to be sheltered by a man and provided for, while her conscious mind tells her not to depend on anyone and have her own financial backup to support her if she ever loses her male provider. You also see them trying to find the next best provider, hopping from one relationship to the other, having to settle with abusers and druggies so long as they are better than their previous male providers. And at the end of the day, you see them ending up single for life with 3 to 4 kids ... a single mom for life (or in some cases, ending up being a crazy cat lady). All because she was too focused on the wrong status of men (their wealth and worldly success), instead of the things that truly make a man a real one (not being afraid of commitment, being a man to your word, respecting women, not being afraid to owning up your mistakes ... all these things).

In essence, these symptoms that your observing in women are not because of what you think, they are because of something else. Your wrong to assume that they dont have sexual desires ... They actually do feel those things and much more than men. The thing is that women have shyness much more than men thats why they dont show easily. But the badboys are able to break through that because they have no decency and encourage women to let go of their modesty while most religious men feel shy themselves like women. Add to that, the effects of media and how they portray husbands and real men as fools and naive idiots who dont know know how to please women because they cant tap into their darker side of pleasure. That is why most of the girls and young women tend to choose badboys over real men unfortunately. The best place to look for a real woman with proper values are in arab countries where all this Fasaad hasnt spread. but dont be fooled though, just because your looking in the arab region doesnt mean you will find them all good ... some of them are worse than those women in the west or even worse (a double faced women who act as modest in the beginning and then veils their ugly personality after uve married them) ... thats why its extremely important to background check the woman plan to marry and likewise for women too). Hope this makes sense cause im posting this in a rush ...

- - - Updated - - -



The thing is, its not a problem with the women of our generation. its a problem with the culture of today and how it affects the thinking of most women. The women of today are being pushed towards the, so called "independent women". This is because women have grown a resentment towards needing to depend on men for financial support and being under his mercy for most of the things (to be honest, that kind of the faults of are male ancestors who used to oppress women, up untill islam came and taught us whats right but a lot of us still dont abide by those teachings). Now the women of today would rather be independent. Part of them dont want to depend on men for anything but at the same time they dont want men to depend on them. They would like to be privileged without consequence.

Note: This is probably why she rejected you. When u start to show her a needy attitude and desire for her, she feels like u will be more of a leech on her and a burden than a good investment. Thats why most girls go for the "bad boy" type of guys ... because they think that they are so independent and strong, no emotional needs and stable. They(girls) seek the thrill of being the ones to actually change them and soften their hearts, but the truth is that most bad boys are actually using them for their pleasure and dont give a damn about these young girls. So dont be discouraged as these types of women are immature and wont be of any benefit to you.

​

You see this happening with the western women, where one would start working and provide for herself, yet still search for a male partner that would spend on her and provide for her. Why? because her nature is to want to be sheltered by a man and provided for, while her conscious mind tells her not to depend on anyone and have her own financial backup to support her if she ever loses her male provider. You also see them trying to find the next best provider, hopping from one relationship to the other, having to settle with abusers and druggies so long as they are better than their previous male providers. And at the end of the day, you see them ending up single for life with 3 to 4 kids ... a single mom for life (or in some cases, ending up being a crazy cat lady). All because she was too focused on the wrong status of men (their wealth and worldly success), instead of the things that truly make a man a real one (not being afraid of commitment, being a man to your word, respecting women, not being afraid to owning up your mistakes ... all these things).

In essence, these symptoms that your observing in women are not because of what you think, they are because of something else. Your wrong to assume that they dont have sexual desires ... They actually do feel those things and much more than men. The thing is that women have shyness much more than men thats why they dont show easily. But the badboys are able to break through that because they have no decency and encourage women to let go of their modesty while most religious men feel shy themselves like women. Add to that, the effects of media and how they portray husbands and real men as fools and naive idiots who dont know know how to please women because they cant tap into their darker side of pleasure. That is why most of the girls and young women tend to choose badboys over real men unfortunately. The best place to look for a real woman with proper values are in arab countries where all this Fasaad hasnt spread. but dont be fooled though, just because your looking in the arab region doesnt mean you will find them all good ... some of them are worse than those women in the west or even worse (a double faced women who act as modest in the beginning and then veils their ugly personality after uve married them) ... thats why its extremely important to background check the woman plan to marry and likewise for women too). Hope this makes sense cause im posting this in a rush ...

some of the refugee women from Turkey in our jamaat may be like the Arab women you described as well......I want to marry a Gulenist or perhaps another faction of Nurju.....Or perhaps I should wait until they are older? Or perhaps go for the Arab women in the jamaat, even though there aren't that many? idk, im not that independent, i have disabilities.......and i cant drive at the moment. my neurotic mother has been refusing to get me driving lessons because she's been spending all her money on my cousin's family in Turkey (my cousin was in the army during the coup and got arrested, but claims innocence), and my uncle's family (my uncle was a traffic cop, and he has bowel problems, and is in jail), and my grandparents (my grandfather is sick, also), and because of stubbornness (hence the neurotic part) because I missed some college lectures (I live with her).
Also, I find that the older young ladies in my faction of nurculuk, tend to be much more mature, but they tend to get married off at around the age that they'll be before I get my bachelor's degree and career. Perhaps I should find someone who isn't so lucky, like the women my mother mentioned.

 

[cinnamonrolls1]

I think today( and speaking as a young person) a lot of feminism is driven by the "if -a -man can- do -this- why-cant -i" attitude.
I find it stupid .They are literally measuring their success by the parameter of a man doing things; they want to do these things quite simply because a man is doing them: in short basing their worth on whether or not they can do what a dude is doing. I fail to see how that's empowering in any way tbh. Why are we basing our liberation on whether or not we're doing certain activities that are done by men. If you're to reduce it down, you're basing your self worth and liberation on men, something which feminism is pretty much against?

Sorry for that confusing post but i had to ranr

Dont get me wrong the concept of feminism is great but it hasnt achieved a lot in modern times.

 

[ChosenTCO]

I think today( and speaking as a young person) a lot of feminism is driven by the "if -a -man can- do -this- why-cant -i" attitude.
I find it stupid .They are literally measuring their success by the parameter of a man doing things; they want to do these things quite simply because a man is doing them: in short basing their worth on whether or not they can do what a dude is doing. I fail to see how that's empowering in any way tbh. Why are we basing our liberation on whether or not we're doing certain activities that are done by men. If you're to reduce it down, you're basing your self worth and liberation on men, something which feminism is pretty much against?

I totally agree with that. females should embraces their femininity and men should embrace their masculinity. Its so sad to see how women in the west are obsessed being independent and masculine ... not just that, they even have the concept of masculinity wrong too. they are so worked up about being equal they went so overboard that they are the ones who are actually oppressing men with their misandry ... Look at all these new groups and cults that are blooming due to this cancer that is called 3rd wave feminism. MRAs, MGTOWs, herbivore men in japan, neomasculines ... all of these groups have either abandoned the concept of family or have lost complete respect for women and treat them like absolute trash. All of because of that false narrative that women should not depend on men.

NO! women should depend on men just like men should depend on women. Its noting to be ashamed of and nothing to be shy about. Its what makes us human, Its what makes us feel for one another, have love and mercy for one another. Its what grounds us and makes us more accepting to one another. How will we develop feelings for one another if we are all independent and dont need each other, we would just look down on each other and ignore all those around us. how sick such a world would be if that truly happened ... unfortunately though this is the road that the world is on right now

May Allah protect us from all the fitna and fasaad of this dunya. Ameen

 

[cinnamonrolls1]

I totally agree with that. females should embraces their femininity and men should embrace their masculinity. Its so sad to see how women in the west are obsessed being independent and masculine ... not just that, they even have the concept of masculinity wrong too. they are so worked up about being equal they went so overboard that they are the ones who are actually oppressing men with their misandry ... Look at all these new groups and cults that are blooming due to this cancer that is called 3rd wave feminism. MRAs, MGTOWs, herbivore men in japan, neomasculines ... all of these groups have either abandoned the concept of family or have lost complete respect for women and treat them like absolute trash. All of because of that false narrative that women should not depend on men.

NO! women should depend on men just like men should depend on women. Its noting to be ashamed of and nothing to be shy about. Its what makes us human, Its what makes us feel for one another, have love and mercy for one another. Its what grounds us and makes us more accepting to one another. How will we develop feelings for one another if we are all independent and dont need each other, we would just look down on each other and ignore all those around us. how sick such a world would be if that truly happened ... unfortunately though this is the road that the world is on right now

May Allah protect us from all the fitna and fasaad of this dunya. Ameen

Ah well. Nothing much we can do i'm afraid

I think as women we shouldnt measure our worth by men but i do think we should work together if that makes sense? And vice versa ofc

I totally agree with that. females should embraces their femininity and men should embrace their masculinity. Its so sad to see how women in the west are obsessed being independent and masculine ... not just that, they even have the concept of masculinity wrong too. they are so worked up about being equal they went so overboard that they are the ones who are actually oppressing men with their misandry ... Look at all these new groups and cults that are blooming due to this cancer that is called 3rd wave feminism. MRAs, MGTOWs, herbivore men in japan, neomasculines ... all of these groups have either abandoned the concept of family or have lost complete respect for women and treat them like absolute trash. All of because of that false narrative that women should not depend on men.

NO! women should depend on men just like men should depend on women. Its noting to be ashamed of and nothing to be shy about. Its what makes us human, Its what makes us feel for one another, have love and mercy for one another. Its what grounds us and makes us more accepting to one another. How will we develop feelings for one another if we are all independent and dont need each other, we would just look down on each other and ignore all those around us. how sick such a world would be if that truly happened ... unfortunately though this is the road that the world is on right now

May Allah protect us from all the fitna and fasaad of this dunya. Ameen

True though! Modern day femisim is driving wedges between us today in my opinion which isnt good at all

 

[Grandad]

I am not sure if majority of men really want multiple wives as many of them have more than enough to do with one. Plus then they will get also multiple mother-in-laws.

'I can always tell when my mother-in-law is planning a visit. The mice throw themselves onto the traps.' (Les Dawson).