What should I do with my son?

[جوري]

What if the father was abusive, an alcoholic and had a clear bad influence? I'm sure from the rational perspective, the child should go to a good Muslim family for adoption, where they are cared for and treated well and brought up as believers.

Especially if the father's influence is likely to make them become kaafirs, then you would worry about the afterlife wouldn't you?

It is all conjectural at this stage.. maybe he's all those things maybe not.. a mother thinking about giving her child up for adoption is a big deal in and of itself, it doesn't appear to me that someone grounded and secure in his/her religion would even think of that as an option.
Sponsorship is ok in Islam but not adoption.. I don't worry about other people's after life no.. if someone is meant to be Muslim they will be. My concern has always been with better Muslims not more Muslims.. I hope you appreciate my candor but quality always trumps quantity in my book and as a general rule I would think..

Ya ayyuha allatheena amanoo AAalaykum anfusakum la yadurrukum man dalla itha ihtadaytum ila Allahi marjiAAukum jameeAAan fayunabbiokum bima kuntum taAAmaloona​

5:105 O ye who believe! Guard your own souls: If ye follow (right) guidance, no hurt can come to you from those who stray. the goal of you all is to Allah. it is He that will show you the truth of all that ye do.

And Allah swt knows best..


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[esperanza]

dear sister, iknow your going through such a hard time,,,but have faith and patience
you say oyour exhusband is a help so let him help but keep your son if you can,,,
and try to just tell him simple things if you can about islam
yes he will make his own choice but show him what are the choices..and show him the good of islam

can iask how old your son is???

iknow a sister in uk..was divorced wiht two young sons,,,and struggling alone,,,
inthis time she met a muslim man who marriecher and took care of her and her sons
she now has three more children

she has never forced her sons aobut islam just give them good example

and the ystill visit and have good relation wiht thier father who is anti muslim

but ihave met them they are great boys and respect islam and they will make their choice

never give up in hard time allah will make it easier dont give up on your son