What would you ask a potential partner?

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Sabeeha said:
^ ^o)...I differ-
My money would be ours both and vise versa.
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well some people do believe in ur way of thinking .. but if u do think about it ... hes the one who needs to work and make money and raise a family .. its his duty unlike a female she doesnt have too ... but if she wanted to work then its on her and her money is hers .. but if she do wanna help out then thats a different story but its not really an our thing when it comes to her money ... thats how i see it..
 
arabianprincess said:
well some people do believe in ur way of thinking .. but if u do think about it ... hes the one who needs to work and make money and raise a family .. its his duty unlike a female she doesnt have too ... but if she wanted to work then its on her and her money is hers .. but if she do wanna help out then thats a different story but its not really an our thing when it comes to her money ... thats how i see it..
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:sl:

What you say is true. :D very
 


:sl:

I know its a long but worth reading especially unmarried muslims!:smile:

Here's Some Advice - Some questions to ask:D


Once there was a very handsome, pious, well educated young man, whose

parents emphasised for him to get married. they had seen so many marriage

proposals, and he had turned them all down. The parents thought it was

becoming a little ridiculous or suspected that he may have someone else in

mind.

However every time the parents left the girls house, the young man would

always say "she's not the one!"

The young man only wanted a girl who was religious and practicing. (Which

was hard to find)? However one evening his mother arranged for him, to meet

a girl, who was religious, and practicing.

On that evening, the young man, and girl, were left to talk, and ask each

other questions. (As one would expect).

The young man, being a gentleman that he was allowed, the lady to ask

first.

The young girl asked the young man soooo many questions. She asked about

his life, his education, his friends, his family , his habits, his hobbies,

his lifestyle, his enjoyment, his pastime, his experiences, his shoe size..

lol. Basically everything.

And the young man replied to all of her questions, without tiring, and

politely, with a smile the young girl took up nearly all of the time, over

an hour, and felt bad, and asked the young man do you have any questions?

the young man said, it's ok. I only have 3 questions...

the young girl thought, wow, only 3 questions okay, shoot.

The young man's first question was,

1) who do you love the most in the world, someone who's love nothing would

ever overcome?

she said, this is an easy question. my mother.

he smiled

second question, he asked

2) you said that you read allot of qur'an, could you tell me which surahs

you know the meaning of?

hearing this she went red and embarrassed and said, I do not know the

meaning of any yet, but i am hoping to soon inshallah ive just been abit

busy.

the third question the young man asked, was

3) i have been approached for my hand in marriage, by girls that are allot

more prettier than you, why should i marry you?

hearing this the young girl was outraged, she stormed off to her parents

with fury, and said i do not want to marry this man he is insulting my

beauty, and intelligence.

and the young man and his parents, were once again, left without an

agreement of marriage.

this time, the young mans parents were really angry, and said what did you

do to anger that girl, the family were so nice, and pleasant, and they were

religious like you wanted. what did you ask the girl?? tell us!

the young man said, firstly i asked her,


who do you love the most? she said, her mother,

the parents said so, what is wrong with that??

The young man said, "no one, is Muslim, until he loves Allah, and his

messenger(saw) more than anyone else in the world"

If a woman loves Allah and the prophet (Allah bless him and grant him

peace) more than anyone, she will love me and respect me, and stay faithful

to me, because of that love, and fear for Allah (swt). and we can share

this love, because this love is greater than lust for beauty.


The young man said, then i asked, you read allot of qur'an, can you tell me

the meaning of any surah?

and she said no. because I haven't had time yet.

so i thought of that hadith "ALL humans, are dead except for those who have

knowledge"

she has lived 20 years and not found ANY time, to seek knowledge, why would

i marry a woman, who does not know her rights, and responsibilities, and

what will she teach my children, except how to be negligent, because the

woman the best of teachers.


And a woman who has no time for Allah, will not have time for her husband.

The third question I asked her was, that a lot of girls, prettier than her,

had approached me for marriage, why should I choose you?

that is why she stormed off, getting angry.

The young man's parents said that is a horrible thing to say, why would you

do such a thing, we are going back there to apologise.

The young man said i said this on purpose, to test whether she could

control her anger.


The prophet(saw) said "do not get angry, do not get angry, do not angry"

when asked how to become pious. because anger is from Satan.

if a woman cannot control her anger with a stranger she has just met, do

you think she will be able to control it with her husband??


so, the moral of this story is, a marriage is based on,

knowledge, not looks,

practice, not preaching,

Forgiveness, not anger,

spiritual love, not lust.

and compromise

One should look for a person who

1) Has love for Allah (swt) and the messenger (saw)

2) Has knowledge of the deen, and can act upon it.

3) can control her anger

and another important and crucial factor. That she be

4) willing to compromise.

and it goes both ways, so women seeking a man, should look for the same

things.


Marriage is not what we usually think about it as.....It's beyond sweet talks, good gifts, romantic dinners...A successful marriage is based on love, understanding, compromise, trust etc but more on our correct understanding of Islam...Follow Islam's criteria for marriage and you all will have a blissful and happy marriage.....Islam has clearly stated the rights and duties of men and women ...Just follow it....GoodLuck to all my Muslim brothers & Sisters!

I know to find the right mate is kinda difficult..with a hundred questions and fears in mind...but oh well it does happen..and for all:smile:...Just pray...and your potential partner will come to u:coolious:...hehe

:thankyou:


 
arabianprincess said:
well some people do believe in ur way of thinking .. but if u do think about it ... hes the one who needs to work and make money and raise a family .. its his duty unlike a female she doesnt have too ... but if she wanted to work then its on her and her money is hers .. but if she do wanna help out then thats a different story but its not really an our thing when it comes to her money ... thats how i see it..
Click to expand...

So... basically... What's his is hers and what's hers is only hers? :rolleyes:
 
wth1257 said:
Exactly. Also, she is not, never has been, and never will be wrong

ever:D

I mean I'm not married but from observational reaserch this is my conclusion:P
Click to expand...

lol we r not like that... we do admit when we r wrong but normallllly its always the guys fualt ..:bump1::D
 
wa alaykum us-Salaam
Dua_e_Sehar said:


:sl:

I know its a long but worth reading especially unmarried muslims!:smile:

Here's Some Advice - Some questions to ask:D


Once there was a very handsome, pious, well educated young man, whose

parents emphasised for him to get married. they had seen so many marriage

proposals, and he had turned them all down. The parents thought it was

becoming a little ridiculous or suspected that he may have someone else in

mind.

However every time the parents left the girls house, the young man would

always say "she's not the one!"

The young man only wanted a girl who was religious and practicing. (Which

was hard to find)? However one evening his mother arranged for him, to meet

a girl, who was religious, and practicing.

On that evening, the young man, and girl, were left to talk, and ask each

other questions. (As one would expect).

The young man, being a gentleman that he was allowed, the lady to ask

first.

The young girl asked the young man soooo many questions. She asked about

his life, his education, his friends, his family , his habits, his hobbies,

his lifestyle, his enjoyment, his pastime, his experiences, his shoe size..

lol. Basically everything.

And the young man replied to all of her questions, without tiring, and

politely, with a smile the young girl took up nearly all of the time, over

an hour, and felt bad, and asked the young man do you have any questions?

the young man said, it's ok. I only have 3 questions...

the young girl thought, wow, only 3 questions okay, shoot.

The young man's first question was,

1) who do you love the most in the world, someone who's love nothing would

ever overcome?

she said, this is an easy question. my mother.

he smiled

second question, he asked

2) you said that you read allot of qur'an, could you tell me which surahs

you know the meaning of?

hearing this she went red and embarrassed and said, I do not know the

meaning of any yet, but i am hoping to soon inshallah ive just been abit

busy.

the third question the young man asked, was

3) i have been approached for my hand in marriage, by girls that are allot

more prettier than you, why should i marry you?

hearing this the young girl was outraged, she stormed off to her parents

with fury, and said i do not want to marry this man he is insulting my

beauty, and intelligence.

and the young man and his parents, were once again, left without an

agreement of marriage.

this time, the young mans parents were really angry, and said what did you

do to anger that girl, the family were so nice, and pleasant, and they were

religious like you wanted. what did you ask the girl?? tell us!

the young man said, firstly i asked her,


who do you love the most? she said, her mother,

the parents said so, what is wrong with that??

The young man said, "no one, is Muslim, until he loves Allah, and his

messenger(saw) more than anyone else in the world"

If a woman loves Allah and the prophet (Allah bless him and grant him

peace) more than anyone, she will love me and respect me, and stay faithful

to me, because of that love, and fear for Allah (swt). and we can share

this love, because this love is greater than lust for beauty.


The young man said, then i asked, you read allot of qur'an, can you tell me

the meaning of any surah?

and she said no. because I haven't had time yet.

so i thought of that hadith "ALL humans, are dead except for those who have

knowledge"

she has lived 20 years and not found ANY time, to seek knowledge, why would

i marry a woman, who does not know her rights, and responsibilities, and

what will she teach my children, except how to be negligent, because the

woman the best of teachers.


And a woman who has no time for Allah, will not have time for her husband.

The third question I asked her was, that a lot of girls, prettier than her,

had approached me for marriage, why should I choose you?

that is why she stormed off, getting angry.

The young man's parents said that is a horrible thing to say, why would you

do such a thing, we are going back there to apologise.

The young man said i said this on purpose, to test whether she could

control her anger.


The prophet(saw) said "do not get angry, do not get angry, do not angry"

when asked how to become pious. because anger is from Satan.

if a woman cannot control her anger with a stranger she has just met, do

you think she will be able to control it with her husband??


so, the moral of this story is, a marriage is based on,

knowledge, not looks,

practice, not preaching,

Forgiveness, not anger,

spiritual love, not lust.

and compromise

One should look for a person who

1) Has love for Allah (swt) and the messenger (saw)

2) Has knowledge of the deen, and can act upon it.

3) can control her anger

and another important and crucial factor. That she be

4) willing to compromise.

and it goes both ways, so women seeking a man, should look for the same

things.


Marriage is not what we usually think about it as.....It's beyond sweet talks, good gifts, romantic dinners...A successful marriage is based on love, understanding, compromise, trust etc but more on our correct understanding of Islam...Follow Islam's criteria for marriage and you all will have a blissful and happy marriage.....Islam has clearly stated the rights and duties of men and women ...Just follow it....GoodLuck to all my Muslim brothers & Sisters!

I know to find the right mate is kinda difficult..with a hundred questions and fears in mind...but oh well it does happen..and for all:smile:...Just pray...and your potential partner will come to u:coolious:...hehe

:thankyou:
Click to expand...

if i had the time, i would answer to that :p i remember reading it way back when somewhere...i remember i couldn't stand the guy :p

thanks for sharing tho :D
 
:sl:
Dua_e_Sehar:
That was an inspiring story Jazakallah for sharing!

Umm ul-Shaheed said:
wa alaykum us-Salaam


if i had the time, i would answer to that :p i remember reading it way back when somewhere...i remember i couldn't stand the guy :p
Click to expand...


You couldnt??! I wonder if there is one even similar to that.^o)
:w:
 
Dua_e_Sehar said:


:sl:



Marriage is not what we usually think about it as.....It's beyond sweet talks, good gifts, romantic dinners...A successful marriage is based on love, understanding, compromise, trust etc but more on our correct understanding of Islam...Follow Islam's criteria for marriage and you all will have a blissful and happy marriage.....Islam has clearly stated the rights and duties of men and women ...Just follow it....GoodLuck to all my Muslim brothers & Sisters!

I know to find the right mate is kinda difficult..with a hundred questions and fears in mind...but oh well it does happen..and for all:smile:...Just pray...and your potential partner will come to u:coolious:...hehe

:thankyou:
Click to expand...


Great post


and that is true,women usually feel more worried about choosing the partner,and has hundreds of questions and fears more than the man if he is about to get marry .......


but that is normal as long as the woman more emotional than the man


I pray for Allah to lead me and all the brothers and sisters in the board to their life partners ....

Holy Quran 30:21 And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.


what if comes to the hearts some dislike?


Holy Quran: live with them(wives) on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.


you see how the noble Quran teachings encouraging the unity of family

peace

:w:
 
I know that the Quran states:

'And give the women (on marriage) their mahr as a (nikah) free gift" (Quran 4:4)

but I wonder how many good Muslim men want to marry but can't or are forced to delay marriage for years because of that. Economically speaking, times are not getting any better. Wages aren't going up. Unemployment is rising to some of the highest levels we've ever seen. How is it possible in these difficult times for one to come up with "free gifts". It seems a bit frivolous at a time when I think what is important is to keep our focus on the solemn and sacred uniting of Muslim men and women. Perhaps, I'm not in understanding of what "free gift" really means.
 

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