Why Is Getting Married Made So Hard?WHY????

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Sizzlerjimer

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asalam u alikum wa rehatulahi wa berkathu

i hope when you read this your in best of your health INSALLAH

Unfortunately i have come up with another thread regarding marriage.:exhausted

You have to have a good degree and a good job in order to get married. The girl or the guy has to be from the same race or in some cultures the same cast.Most of all the wedding ceremony i mean O M G the mehndi(henna), the wedding day and then the walima. All these haram things people dancing,free mixing and showing of the wealth, what is that?where is that in islam??All of these reasons are making guys and girls go towards haram things.We all have needs and desiers and if one doesnt fulfil them in the halal way then BAM satan comes in and say ''you know what allow the marriage you need to do this and to do that'' you know what i mean?

Where do we go now?What we do then?If our parents donot understand what are we supposed to do?I am sure i am speaking for many of the brothers and sisters out there.

There are other problems too practiciing brothers cant find practicing sister and vice versa.

lets take my example yes

i am 23yrs old i have a degree in business management(ASIAN YAAR:D) and i want to get married because i want to be away from the fitna.Dont get me wrong its not like i am desperate to get married but i will be lying if i say that i donot want to get married asap.First some of my elders tell me wait till your 27 because that is the perfect age to get married and when my parents start looking for a girl they apparently cannot seem to find a practicing muslimah i mean HELLO living in a muslim country and cannot find one what is that all about.Lets take western countries yes, practicing sisters here donot ask you anything about the deen first question is What Is Ur VISA STATUS.WHERE is that in islam??I agree that people from back home donot have the best of reputation but are all of them after your passport?I dont wana pledge my allegiance to the queen.ONE UMMAH right??Why is it so hard to fulfil the sunnah of our beloved PROPHET SAW


I have put forward my example just to give an idea of what i am trying to say.I hope every one understands it.INSALLAH

Jazak ALLAH
 
brother its more the culture clash, bro i dont see why you would get rejected, you dont seem a freshie to me, your very educated
 
:sl:

A lot of us can relate bro and believe me I don't have a solution for you. If I had one for myself I'd be married lol. But yea it's insanely annoying O.o
 
asalam u alikum

I don't think I will ever get married. Looking at the other marriages, so many of them end up in divorce.

So yeah it sounds frustrating.
 
Greetings and peace be with you OxygenHacker;

Getting Married might seem hard, but staying married is even harder. I have been married 24 years today as it happens, and I feel you have to try harder the longer you are married. I think that is why so many marraiges fail, we think marraige is the answer to many of our problems.

Things will happen in God's time.

In the spirit of praying for that inner peace that surpasses all understanding

Eric
 
Happy Anniversary Eric :D

Jab ladkha larkhi raazi......toh kiya kare ga kazi :D

actually if the girl and boy are happy then no ones happy....i think u need to trick everyone and act unhappy ...hah that should do it. ;D
 
Sahabiyaat said:
Happy Anniversary Eric :D

Jab ladkha larkhi raazi......toh kiya kare ga kazi :D

actually if the girl and boy are happy then no ones happy....i think u need to trick everyone and act unhappy ...hah that should do it. ;D
Click to expand...

asalam u alikum wa rehamtulahi wa berkathu

thank you all very much for your input

sister sahabiyaat yahan per larki hee nahin hai larka tuu raazi betha hai :embarrass

brother nightstar you are a star lol thank you very much for your very kind comment but apparently Practicing Muslim + Educated + Good Job = YES YES
BUTT when you add Practicing Muslim + Educated + Good Job + Green Passport = NO NO NO NO

sister LOH are you facing the same problems as i am aww i am sure ALLAH has got a very good husband just in line waiting for you. INSALLAH.

brother guestfellow donot be like that marriage is half our deen and also its a sunnah.

if the marriage is based on islamic values then trust me it will not end in divorce also rememeber arguements is a part and parcel of any marriage so dnt be scared of marriage.

Greetings and peace be with you too Eric H

wohaaaa Eric you have done well havent you but its your 24th wedding anniversary today and your here blogging lol :hiding: i hope you will have many many more.Marriage is not an answer but what i am saying is that there are so many temptations and trials and satan is our biggest enemy so islam has told us the best way to solve this, when one is of age and has means to marry he or she should get married.Our families unfortunately have forgot that golden principle and what you have now is indispicable.

another golden rule of marriage Its not what you can take from a marriage its what you can give it.

Other question is these days especially in asian culture there is haram things happening in a marriage for example dance free mixing mehndi(henna), can anyone plz tell me how the marriage was done in the early days of islam?i know nikkah was in the mosque and big walima but people dnt expect that these days and if some one says we are going to have a simple wedding people down upon you.I HAVE had this talk trust meeee.

Jazak ALLAH
 
:sl:

Akhi, Br. Yasir Birjas has lectures on Marriage. Check his website Practimate.com. Also, there's halfourdeen.com by Baba Ali. it's newly launched, but it's on hod because of so many users.

lol. your thread reminded me of this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZzAEFx42dc

Also
"..... And whoever fears Allah- Allah will provide for him a means of deliverance." 65:2


InshaAllah everything will go well in the end
If you are relying on Allah (swt), why despair ? He is Sustainer of the Universe.
What the ayat above tells us it that if we keep with our duties and fear Allah, He will provide his believers with a way, a window or door. Although we may not see the door opening, Allah (swt) Knows best and All.
 
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:sl:
The haraam celebration part of today's marriages is scary for me too. Does someone have a solution to it?:(
:w:
 
asalam u alikum wa rehamtulahi wa berkathu

sister transition i cannot stop laughing here the jingle is very very funny may ALLAH bless you for making me laugh.

i know about practimate but you have to pay for it so i was thinking will it really work.

offcourse ALLAH is greatest the greatest sustainer ALLAH O AKBAR.i am assuming people here know about baba ali and ummah films aka reminders ryt??


Jazak ALLAH
 
Yea it is freaking hard for some of us. Especially when you see modest looking brothers with really attractive sisters and you can't help but (sigh).

But marriage is half our religion. Though I'm not gonna lower my standards, even if it is difficult.
 
asalamualaikum

having a small wedding and not inviting certain people is not common at all now. more people are spending money on having a luxury wedding and mehndi party where der is all haraam thngs happining. when people say they want a small wedding and dnt invite certain relatives they start talking dat they where not invited etc and look dwn upon the family. They dnt realise dat in our prophets days dey had nikah in the masjid and den a big walima.
 
Assalam aleykoum,


I give you my example :

I want to get married with girl which is not Arabic but muslim ( convert about 8 years ago) she did not convert because she love me because Allah SWT guide her Alhamdouliallah.

My parents and my sisters and my brother are against me, they do not want me to marry that girld I love so much and here to be my wife.

The situation is very hard for nearly two years I am thinking what I am suppose to do, I will never abandoned here.

In the Quran it never said its forbiden to marry a non arabic muslim, I told that to my parents but they do not understand, I do not think that is islam ??

My mother always bring me the Hadith that the heaven is under the foot of the mother, I agree but I never misrepsect my father or my mother they have to respect my decision no ????


I am living a hard situation, I have a flat and everuything, but I do not know I do not want to be in trouble with my parents ???

My future wife told me if its hard for you we can stop here and she will understand and its god choice, I said no we have to show to my parents they get the wrong islam, I mean its not islam its about tradition.


I will ask you to pray for me, thanking you in advance.


Assalam aleykoum sisters and brothers.
 
okay,what are Muslim women really like now?What are they drawn to mostly?
You know Oxygen Hacker,they all think the Muslim men are bad evil morons and that's how the media portrays them too.The media should shed some light on Muslim men's issues.
 
Well, the idea is to get married once, at least here, and that be the last time. Not always like that, but that's the general idea, and my only fear is not finding that one. I think I have, but I don't put all my hopes into it. Always keep some in reserve. I want to be married before I'm 28, but no one knows what the future holds.
 
thetruth2009 said:
Assalam aleykoum,


I give you my example :

I want to get married with girl which is not Arabic but muslim ( convert about 8 years ago) she did not convert because she love me because Allah SWT guide her Alhamdouliallah.

My parents and my sisters and my brother are against me, they do not want me to marry that girld I love so much and here to be my wife.

The situation is very hard for nearly two years I am thinking what I am suppose to do, I will never abandoned here.

In the Quran it never said its forbiden to marry a non arabic muslim, I told that to my parents but they do not understand, I do not think that is islam ??

My mother always bring me the Hadith that the heaven is under the foot of the mother, I agree but I never misrepsect my father or my mother they have to respect my decision no ????


I am living a hard situation, I have a flat and everuything, but I do not know I do not want to be in trouble with my parents ???

My future wife told me if its hard for you we can stop here and she will understand and its god choice, I said no we have to show to my parents they get the wrong islam, I mean its not islam its about tradition.


I will ask you to pray for me, thanking you in advance.


Assalam aleykoum sisters and brothers.
Click to expand...

That just sounds like emotional blackmail. Yes we have to respect our parents but it's against islam to reject someone due to race. You should explain that to your mom. Show her the hadith about an arab and non arab, black or white not being superior to each other except in taqwa. Also theres a verse in the Quraan about Allah(swt) making us into different tribes and nations so that we can get to know each other. A parents approval is important but they cant reject someone for the wrong reasons i.e. race/nationality. There could be several reasons with them not accpeting. First is that they think maybe there will be a culture/communication barrier or they may think their people are better, in which the second case is definitely wrong.

May Allah make it easy for u brother, ameen.

:sl:
 
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Light of Heaven said:
That just sounds like emotional blackmail. Yes we have to respect our parents but it's against islam to reject someone due to race. You should explain that to your mom. Show her the hadith about an arab and non arab, black or white not being superior to each other except in taqwa. Also theres a verse in the Quraan about Allah(swt) making us into different tribes and nations so that we can get to know each other. A parents approval is important but they cant reject someone for the wrong reasons i.e. race/nationality. There could be several reasons with them not accpeting. First is that they think maybe there will be a culture/communication barrier or they may think their people are better, in which the second case is definitely wrong.

May Allah make it easy for u brother, ameen.

:sl:
Click to expand...


Assalam aleykoum Sister, I am not calling you brother :statisfie

Amine, Amen, thank you very much for your support, I appreciate.

I forget my girlfriend is black its harder, imsad


God bless you all.
 
Speaking for myself, i dont think a guy HAS to have a degree or wealth or even great looks to be someone id marry....the #1 thing that i wish i could find, is a good muslim who wants to live a life without haram.
 

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